Welcome to 'Trying To Conceive Over 35'

[alicatt]

So I broke down and tested this morning.. used a IC, FRER and CBE (had all my bases covered). All 3 BFN. I'm 9dp5dt. I think the fat lady is singing. My only glimmer of hope is that the FRER had the faintest hint that maybe a line might appear. Or it could have been evap. I'm guessing evap since the other 2 didn't show anything. It was TMU though (third morning). So I just think by now it should show! I'm 14 DPO. I have to wait until Friday for my BETA. AHHHHHHHHHHH

Ali as you know some don't get a bfp until after their beta. Be patient and have faith. Can you post a pic of the test w/ a faint line? If you must keep testing, then wait until tomorrow with fmu. Stay positive babe, it will happen. If it doesn't happen have you thought of donor eggs? I told you guys my friend had multiple failed cycles and mc's and she switched RE groups, did donor eggs and is due in March w/ twins. Just an idea. Try to wait until after Christmas to test again so you can enjoy the holiday.

Thanks BabyWhisperer - I still have the 4 frosties waiting for me, so this isn't the end yet. I don't think I will go the route of donor eggs, since I'm already using donor sperm! It seems kind of silly. I took a picture of the FRER and it isn't even showing up on the picture, so there isn't much point in posting it. I think I'll just wait until BETA now.

Sounds like your DH is a stubborn SOB (and I mean that in the kindest way). I agree with you that he needs to stop taking it for 3-6 months, his hair isn't going to fall out in that amount of time! My step brother did a hair transplant, they took hair from behind his ears and put it in the balding area, and now he has a full head of hair again. So even if he does, there are other means of dealing with it than putting really harmful chemicals in his body. Has he thought of the side effects of that stuff? I mean if it is altering his what else is it doing to his body? Yikes, I just don't want to think about that.

Merry Christmas!!!

He is very stubborn and won't listen until someone else echoes what I have said. He has hair, no bald spots, but according to him it is thinning. His Dad was bald and 2 of the 3 brothers are really losing their hair. We were at a party on Friday night and one of his friends told him he stopped taking it before they conceived b/c of what he read and his hair hasn't changed...the bad thing is, this guy has always had thin hair, so not the best person to say that to dh. He knows the side effects, but he'd rather take the risks than be bald. I don't know what it is, but I have hit a nerve here and he said he wakes up every morning seeing the difference and feeling older. He has a real fear of aging and I don't get it/ I am 2yrs older and don't obsess like he does. He hates his bday so much he gets depressed, that's why we are going to Vail for his bday this year. He wants kids, but he thinks the effect of the meds is so low he is willing to take the chance since we could have other random problems from something else...very poor argument, but one from a desperate and paranoid point of view. I hope the RE is very stern in her opinion of Propecia on morphology to dh and that he won't lose his hair in 3 mos. But if that's the case and he stops the meds he said if he loses his hair he will never forgive me. And I am sure he will be inspecting his head every day multiple times and if he sees so much as a follicle of difference he will go ballistic.

WOW.. definitley stubborn! Well you could just tell him that you aren't going to use his since he's making them defective, and say that the only way you are going to do the IUI is with donor sperm! I know that is a bit harsh, but he's being just as silly about his hair. I really don't think you have much of a chance with his unless he goes off the propecia, or you do IVF. Have you considered donor at all? Maybe that would be enough to scare him straight? IDK. Maybe just tabling the discussion until your FS can knock some sense into him?

 

[Babywhisperer]

So I broke down and tested this morning.. used a IC, FRER and CBE (had all my bases covered). All 3 BFN. I'm 9dp5dt. I think the fat lady is singing. My only glimmer of hope is that the FRER had the faintest hint that maybe a line might appear. Or it could have been evap. I'm guessing evap since the other 2 didn't show anything. It was TMU though (third morning). So I just think by now it should show! I'm 14 DPO. I have to wait until Friday for my BETA. AHHHHHHHHHHH

Ali as you know some don't get a bfp until after their beta. Be patient and have faith. Can you post a pic of the test w/ a faint line? If you must keep testing, then wait until tomorrow with fmu. Stay positive babe, it will happen. If it doesn't happen have you thought of donor eggs? I told you guys my friend had multiple failed cycles and mc's and she switched RE groups, did donor eggs and is due in March w/ twins. Just an idea. Try to wait until after Christmas to test again so you can enjoy the holiday.

Thanks BabyWhisperer - I still have the 4 frosties waiting for me, so this isn't the end yet. I don't think I will go the route of donor eggs, since I'm already using donor sperm! It seems kind of silly. I took a picture of the FRER and it isn't even showing up on the picture, so there isn't much point in posting it. I think I'll just wait until BETA now.

Sounds like your DH is a stubborn SOB (and I mean that in the kindest way). I agree with you that he needs to stop taking it for 3-6 months, his hair isn't going to fall out in that amount of time! My step brother did a hair transplant, they took hair from behind his ears and put it in the balding area, and now he has a full head of hair again. So even if he does, there are other means of dealing with it than putting really harmful chemicals in his body. Has he thought of the side effects of that stuff? I mean if it is altering his what else is it doing to his body? Yikes, I just don't want to think about that.

Merry Christmas!!!

He is very stubborn and won't listen until someone else echoes what I have said. He has hair, no bald spots, but according to him it is thinning. His Dad was bald and 2 of the 3 brothers are really losing their hair. We were at a party on Friday night and one of his friends told him he stopped taking it before they conceived b/c of what he read and his hair hasn't changed...the bad thing is, this guy has always had thin hair, so not the best person to say that to dh. He knows the side effects, but he'd rather take the risks than be bald. I don't know what it is, but I have hit a nerve here and he said he wakes up every morning seeing the difference and feeling older. He has a real fear of aging and I don't get it/ I am 2yrs older and don't obsess like he does. He hates his bday so much he gets depressed, that's why we are going to Vail for his bday this year. He wants kids, but he thinks the effect of the meds is so low he is willing to take the chance since we could have other random problems from something else...very poor argument, but one from a desperate and paranoid point of view. I hope the RE is very stern in her opinion of Propecia on morphology to dh and that he won't lose his hair in 3 mos. But if that's the case and he stops the meds he said if he loses his hair he will never forgive me. And I am sure he will be inspecting his head every day multiple times and if he sees so much as a follicle of difference he will go ballistic.

WOW.. definitley stubborn! Well you could just tell him that you aren't going to use his since he's making them defective, and say that the only way you are going to do the IUI is with donor sperm! I know that is a bit harsh, but he's being just as silly about his hair. I really don't think you have much of a chance with his unless he goes off the propecia, or you do IVF. Have you considered donor at all? Maybe that would be enough to scare him straight? IDK. Maybe just tabling the discussion until your FS can knock some sense into him?

I don't think threatening to use donor sperm while married is a healthy way to argue. If the first clomid/IUI doesn't work and the RE tells him he is ruining our chances will be enough to get him to stop. The thing he keeps focusing on is his count is 90million which is almost 5 times what they look for (20million), so he does the math of 5% morphology of 90million sperm and he thinks it's enough...4.5million vs. 6million (30% of 20million) I know he is stubborn, but if he hears the RE say he is ruining our chances, we have a failed clomid/iui, and she explains what is involved with IVF and the cost...I think he will come to the realization that a couple of months off the meds is the best route vs. wasting time with failed IUI and only being left w/ IVF which will be a major hardship for me since I have the 2hr commute a day I will have to go to Lenox Hill in the city every other day for 8-12 days for monitoring before work since I don't want to leave work early to see the RE at the LI office...work will know something is up. He has not heard from the RE what IVF entails and I think once he does he will realize he is being irrational, unreasonable, and unfair. I could always be awful and tell his Mom who is dying for Grandkids that she won't get any b/c her vain son won't stop propecia for a few months...she will tell him he's being ridiculous.

 

[alicatt]

So I broke down and tested this morning.. used a IC, FRER and CBE (had all my bases covered). All 3 BFN. I'm 9dp5dt. I think the fat lady is singing. My only glimmer of hope is that the FRER had the faintest hint that maybe a line might appear. Or it could have been evap. I'm guessing evap since the other 2 didn't show anything. It was TMU though (third morning). So I just think by now it should show! I'm 14 DPO. I have to wait until Friday for my BETA. AHHHHHHHHHHH

Ali as you know some don't get a bfp until after their beta. Be patient and have faith. Can you post a pic of the test w/ a faint line? If you must keep testing, then wait until tomorrow with fmu. Stay positive babe, it will happen. If it doesn't happen have you thought of donor eggs? I told you guys my friend had multiple failed cycles and mc's and she switched RE groups, did donor eggs and is due in March w/ twins. Just an idea. Try to wait until after Christmas to test again so you can enjoy the holiday.

Thanks BabyWhisperer - I still have the 4 frosties waiting for me, so this isn't the end yet. I don't think I will go the route of donor eggs, since I'm already using donor sperm! It seems kind of silly. I took a picture of the FRER and it isn't even showing up on the picture, so there isn't much point in posting it. I think I'll just wait until BETA now.

Sounds like your DH is a stubborn SOB (and I mean that in the kindest way). I agree with you that he needs to stop taking it for 3-6 months, his hair isn't going to fall out in that amount of time! My step brother did a hair transplant, they took hair from behind his ears and put it in the balding area, and now he has a full head of hair again. So even if he does, there are other means of dealing with it than putting really harmful chemicals in his body. Has he thought of the side effects of that stuff? I mean if it is altering his what else is it doing to his body? Yikes, I just don't want to think about that.

Merry Christmas!!!

He is very stubborn and won't listen until someone else echoes what I have said. He has hair, no bald spots, but according to him it is thinning. His Dad was bald and 2 of the 3 brothers are really losing their hair. We were at a party on Friday night and one of his friends told him he stopped taking it before they conceived b/c of what he read and his hair hasn't changed...the bad thing is, this guy has always had thin hair, so not the best person to say that to dh. He knows the side effects, but he'd rather take the risks than be bald. I don't know what it is, but I have hit a nerve here and he said he wakes up every morning seeing the difference and feeling older. He has a real fear of aging and I don't get it/ I am 2yrs older and don't obsess like he does. He hates his bday so much he gets depressed, that's why we are going to Vail for his bday this year. He wants kids, but he thinks the effect of the meds is so low he is willing to take the chance since we could have other random problems from something else...very poor argument, but one from a desperate and paranoid point of view. I hope the RE is very stern in her opinion of Propecia on morphology to dh and that he won't lose his hair in 3 mos. But if that's the case and he stops the meds he said if he loses his hair he will never forgive me. And I am sure he will be inspecting his head every day multiple times and if he sees so much as a follicle of difference he will go ballistic.

WOW.. definitley stubborn! Well you could just tell him that you aren't going to use his since he's making them defective, and say that the only way you are going to do the IUI is with donor sperm! I know that is a bit harsh, but he's being just as silly about his hair. I really don't think you have much of a chance with his unless he goes off the propecia, or you do IVF. Have you considered donor at all? Maybe that would be enough to scare him straight? IDK. Maybe just tabling the discussion until your FS can knock some sense into him?

I don't think threatening to use donor sperm while married is a healthy way to argue. If the first clomid/IUI doesn't work and the RE tells him he is ruining our chances will be enough to get him to stop. The thing he keeps focusing on is his count is 90million which is almost 5 times what they look for (20million), so he does the math of 5% morphology of 90million sperm and he thinks it's enough...4.5million vs. 6million (30% of 20million) I know he is stubborn, but if he hears the RE say he is ruining our chances, we have a failed clomid/iui, and she explains what is involved with IVF and the cost...I think he will come to the realization that a couple of months off the meds is the best route vs. wasting time with failed IUI and only being left w/ IVF which will be a major hardship for me since I have the 2hr commute a day I will have to go to Lenox Hill in the city every other day for 8-12 days for monitoring before work since I don't want to leave work early to see the RE at the LI office...work will know something is up. He has not heard from the RE what IVF entails and I think once he does he will realize he is being irrational, unreasonable, and unfair. I could always be awful and tell his Mom who is dying for Grandkids that she won't get any b/c her vain son won't stop propecia for a few months...she will tell him he's being ridiculous.

I don't disagree with you about threatening to use donor sperm, not the best idea, agreed. I was suggesting it since he is being equally unreasonable. More of a tongue and cheek kind of thing. I hope I didn't offend you! Well just hope for the best with the IUI and the FS's recommendations for what to try next. Maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised and get pregnant the first go!

 

[Philomena]

Chantal- yikes you need rest!! glad you got your pipes repaired!

Samsfan- omg, that's toooo many visitors, lol! You need too!

Ali- 2 more days to

AFM- aargh, I hate to do it but am thinking of posting alate assignment to school. It is a crazy presentation on oceanic exploration and it is required to be hinged from one particluar site. I have scoured the crazy site and can't find a darn thing related to oceanix exploration :aargh: So as I only have 2 hours left in this school day and I really don't want to stay up til midnight (kids are all asleep!!!!Yay!) I think I'll dock the 10% and post late

It's not like you didn't try!! I'd attach a note saying the site was not a good resource and you couldn't find what you needed so it took much longer to research.

Merry Christmas ladies! I hope everyone enjoys their babies, babies-yet-to-be-born, and that everyone gets their BFPs, ASAP!

Afm, temps dropping, feeling some cramps so AF is on her way. If she shows up today I did ovi on the 14th not the 16th...but we'll see, the HSG has thrown everything off. Dh is still not going to stop Propecia unless a Dr tells him so we will make an appt with my RE when she gets back from her 2 week vacay. In the meantime I will try a Clomid/IUI cycle and when she gets back hopefully she can confer w/ a urologist and have the conversation w/ dh that he is not helping our IUI chances and is only pushing us towards the likelihood that IVF will be our only chance. And that process will put me under a lot of stress, side effects, be very costly, increase our chances for multiples, and potential health problems down the road...all so he can keep taking his meds. The good part is that what I have read is that propecia is out of your system in a matter of days. Research is mixed as far as it affecting fertility which doesn't help my argument w/ my attorney Dh. I am just scared of going thru IVF while working on a trading desk as it will be impossible to hide, and multiples make for a much tougher pregnancy of fatigue and ms in the 1st trimester sometimes longer. My friend who is prego w/ IVF twin boys was bedridden for 16 weeks. I am a commission sales person and don't have that luxury. I kno he is paranoid of going bald and very stubborn, but I hope he comes to the realization that stopping for 3 mos is best for all.

Please pray that Clomid/IUI works for us and I will continue to pray for all of you. We all deserve to be Mother's!

will write more in a little bit.... BUT.... if its out of his system in a matter of days, then potentially you could pose the suggestion that he try to stay off it for 3-4 weeks and maybe that's all you'll need to get your BFP.... once you have that, he can take it as much as he wants!!!???

IUI is so much easier on everyone than IVF and so significantly less expensive! Maybe he will agree to compromise and stop and go with the meds, instead of just outright throwing it out the window? like he could take it the week before af is due (like after you've ov'd for sure) and then stay off it for the days leading up to the fertile window and the whole fertile window.... then go back on when you know you've ov'd for sure??? I'm just wondering if there is a compromise to be had here? Especially if it vacates his system so quickly.... and men can replenish their supply fairly quickly, yes??

Just a thought!

 

[Samsfan]

Babywhisper. I agree you need to tell yor dh to get his priorities straight. As far as iui v ivf...I'm under the impression that iui is more unpredictable for multiples. Ivf is controlled. My friend did iui w clomid and had triplets. So you never know. My doc recommended like you ivf... I don't know how its worse..other than financially. I'm vvery nervous about it and taking until my gyn appt in jan to think about it. When are you scheduled to start?


I'm praying for you....
Grey eyes. I'm exhausted from all the guests. Sore yesterday. Tired today...very weid..I have cramps. Not due for my menses until dec 30th.

 

[Grey Eyes]

Merry Christmas Eve ladies!

Babywhisperer- I can understand where Ali and Samsfan are coming from- hit dh over the head with a board, throw his propecia away, and demand he give you LOL! Ah, I wish it was that easy, but men can be s.t.u.b.b.o.r.n.! If getting your RE to tell him about the propecia is the best way then maybe have a private call with RE first? Lay it on thick Plead your case and she what (s)he says?

Ali- how do you know frer was a bfn WHEN YOU DIDN'T POST THE PIC lol! Shame on me, I am addicted! I would like to see it....even if you think we can't Maybe my line-eye will pick it up! And I agree- alot of women don't get the bfp until after beta, so Try not to worry!! Everything is on your favor this time around and you certainly don't have to worry about timing!

Samsfan- you need a break! Try to relax the rest of the holiday.

AFM- I have decided I am done bending over backwards THIS holiday season If they make big messes they can either walk through it during Christmas or clean it themselves, I understand the countertop is NOT the garbage can- BUT if that's where they carefull stack their garbage then that's where it stays......if dh slyly puts a half eaten meal in the microwave for safekeeping--it may be there next year some time I think I started off good this morning I bathed babes, got dressed. made dd's get dressed....now they are sorting their own clean laundry out while I drink and eat punkin' pie for breakfast lol.... Today I gotta try to figure out my stupid (yes STUPID lol) assignment then it is easy street for me I hope ............

 

[alicatt]

Babywhisper. I agree you need to tell yor dh to get his priorities straight. As far as iui v ivf...I'm under the impression that iui is more unpredictable for multiples. Ivf is controlled. My friend did iui w clomid and had triplets. So you never know. My doc recommended like you ivf... I don't know how its worse..other than financially. I'm vvery nervous about it and taking until my gyn appt in jan to think about it. When are you scheduled to start?


I'm praying for you....
Grey eyes. I'm exhausted from all the guests. Sore yesterday. Tired today...very weid..I have cramps. Not due for my menses until dec 30th.

Samsfan - having been through 2 IVF cycles (and BabyWhisper got to hear me complain about both) - LOL IVF has a higher chance of success, especially with low AMH levels. They can get more eggs to fertilize and only place a few back. However the toll on your body is way worse with IVF. They pump you full of high levels of FSH and LH to get your ovaries to create multiple follicles. Your ovaries swell, you are very bloated and uncomfortable, not to mention the ER where they take a needle through your vaginal wall to retrieve the eggs (while under sedation), but then you have to heal from that. Then they put them back 3-6 days later. After transfer you are then on supplemental estrogen and progesterone until BETA day. It is really rough on your body, and I've basically gained 8-10 lbs during each cycle. I worked really hard to lose it in between the cycles and I did, but still, you can just imagine how hard all of that is on your ovaries, and your general health.

The IUI is customized for you and your body, they can use clomid, femara, or any combination of gonal f, menopur, follistim, bravelle (but at lower doses than what is used for IVF). You can also do an unmedicated IUI. The key is that most FS's won't let you do an IUI if you have more than 3 ripe follicles, as the risk for multiples gets higher. However if you have a low AMH, that risk goes way down as there is less of a chance that all 3 would fertilize and implant (since there is a lower egg quality). So the often let women with lower AMH levels do IUIs with more follicles in hopes that maybe 1 would work.

If it were me doing the IUI with a low AMH I would opt for the stronger meds, like gonal f and menopur (pricier but it will make more follicles). Course then you run the risk of being told they won't do an IUI and you have to convert to IVF, this happened to FirstTry. I'm not a FS, I just play one on TV!

Probably best to wait until your appt in the new year. One thing you could do is call the office and see if they have any supplements or vitamins that they want you taking for your upcoming cycles. They say you should be taking them for 3-4 months before you do any cycles for them to really make a difference. So the sooner you get started on those the better.

Best of luck to you in the new year, and Merry Christmas!

 

[alicatt]

Merry Christmas Eve ladies!

Babywhisperer- I can understand where Ali and Samsfan are coming from- hit dh over the head with a board, throw his propecia away, and demand he give you LOL! Ah, I wish it was that easy, but men can be s.t.u.b.b.o.r.n.! If getting your RE to tell him about the propecia is the best way then maybe have a private call with RE first? Lay it on thick Plead your case and she what (s)he says?

Ali- how do you know frer was a bfn WHEN YOU DIDN'T POST THE PIC lol! Shame on me, I am addicted! I would like to see it....even if you think we can't Maybe my line-eye will pick it up! And I agree- alot of women don't get the bfp until after beta, so Try not to worry!! Everything is on your favor this time around and you certainly don't have to worry about timing!

Samsfan- you need a break! Try to relax the rest of the holiday.

AFM- I have decided I am done bending over backwards THIS holiday season If they make big messes they can either walk through it during Christmas or clean it themselves, I understand the countertop is NOT the garbage can- BUT if that's where they carefull stack their garbage then that's where it stays......if dh slyly puts a half eaten meal in the microwave for safekeeping--it may be there next year some time I think I started off good this morning I bathed babes, got dressed. made dd's get dressed....now they are sorting their own clean laundry out while I drink and eat punkin' pie for breakfast lol.... Today I gotta try to figure out my stupid (yes STUPID lol) assignment then it is easy street for me I hope ............

Coy - I know.. I didn't post because I don't think there is anything there. I am just being stupid. You on the other hand have a great plan for the day and for getting people to do more around the house! YAY!

 

[Grey Eyes]

Ali- "I'm not a FS, I just play one on TV!" LOL! You have an incredible first-hand knowledge of being an FS. Learned the hard way but we all appreciate your input Very valuable info And you're NOT stupid! I'm a pic addict is all

Hope you're Christmas is fabulous!!! re:hpt's don't believe everything you see Only time will tell fx'd!

 

[alicatt]

Ali- "I'm not a FS, I just play one on TV!" LOL! You have an incredible first-hand knowledge of being an FS. Learned the hard way but we all appreciate your input Very valuable info And you're NOT stupid! I'm a pic addict is all

Hope you're Christmas is fabulous!!! re:hpt's don't believe everything you see Only time will tell fx'd!

I have been through FS hell. So I do know a lot about the process, but I'm sure there is plenty more to learn! Like what to do now that I likely have 2 failed cycles. What is causing them to not implant? Is it my uterus? Is it the embryo's? Are they arresting after the blast stage? Do I have some immunological issue that is attacking the embryos? I have read somewhere that some women are very sensitive to estrogen, and that in some cases doing the transfer right after your IVF cycle can be detrimental, and waiting until you can do a FET with normal levels of estrogen in your system is much better. So maybe my FET will work?

I know.. cart before the horse, but I usually like to have looked at my options and get prepared ahead of time so I know what to do next. I'm still hopeful that tomorrow I will see a BFP, or maybe I will wait until Friday. I keep going back to my tests (that I'm hiding in my linen closet because I don't want my mom or brother to see), and squinting at them, holding them up to light. I think maybe I see a faint line on the CBE? But it is the blue kind and they are notorious for giving faint lines.

I am giving myself a headache, time to stop stressing and look towards Christmas.. its 3:45, and I work until 5. Then no more yay! My Mom bless her heart spent from 10-3 cooking and prepping for dinner today and tomorrow. All I had to do was the grocery shopping and I made the creme brule for tonight, and the flourless chocolate torte for tomorrow. I'll get the hors d'oeuve's ready and set the table for dinner. Plus I have to make my roasted veggie casserole for tomorrow. So I helped.. and my brother.. crashed out on my couch with 2 doggies napping. MEN! AHHHHHH.. I think they are all alike! My brother even tried to get my Mom to buy him smokes, she was like.. NO.. get your rear end off that couch and come with me!

 

[Grey Eyes]

LOL!@ your brother! Yes, MEN. Aargh! lol Don't give yourself a headache I loved testing for bfp but was always like "dang it" when I'd get a bfn....Ali, your bfp is around the corner I would love to see your pics but I can't MAKE you post them LOL! so I'm going to be like the energizer bunny and just buzz in circles until I see your pic! Maybe after Christmas- go enjoyu your holiday! I am not going to worry about, uh, losing any weight until day after tomorrow mmmmmmmmm

 

[alicatt]

LOL!@ your brother! Yes, MEN. Aargh! lol Don't give yourself a headache I loved testing for bfp but was always like "dang it" when I'd get a bfn....Ali, your bfp is around the corner I would love to see your pics but I can't MAKE you post them LOL! so I'm going to be like the energizer bunny and just buzz in circles until I see your pic! Maybe after Christmas- go enjoyu your holiday! I am not going to worry about, uh, losing any weight until day after tomorrow mmmmmmmmm

Good plan!! With creme brule, and this amazing looking breakfast brunch casserole and chocolate torte, and seafood casserole, I don't think I will be either!

Zoe and I have been curled up on my day bed in my office having a snooze, getting up to check the computer every now and then.. so far so good. 56 minutes left!

 

[Samsfan]

Alicatt. That is a lot of info to digest and frankly sounds brutal. I don't know if I really want to go through all of that. I have a job that requires me to be on at all times. Do I lessen my chances if I try iui and try ivf if it doesn't work? They told me to start vitamin D immediately. Other than that have my other exams next week. Ill ease into this. I'm wondering if I should try IUI in January and if it doesn't work move into IVF by march. Is that a possibility time wise?

How are you doing? I tried reading through the posts to see if you have any news? All I can see is that you need to wait for the beta test ... I am so praying and hopeful for you.

 

[AngelSerenity]

Merry Christmas everybody!


I'm all ready and will probably get a good chance to catch up in a couple of days.


Ali, I hear what you are saying and we all know that sinking feeling but I'll throw in my tuppence worth - I got a BFN at 20DPO with my DS, I didnt test again until 40DPO as had a niggling feeling I wasn't right and got my BFP then.

xoxo

 

[alicatt]

Alicatt. That is a lot of info to digest and frankly sounds brutal. I don't know if I really want to go through all of that. I have a job that requires me to be on at all times. Do I lessen my chances if I try iui and try ivf if it doesn't work? They told me to start vitamin D immediately. Other than that have my other exams next week. Ill ease into this. I'm wondering if I should try IUI in January and if it doesn't work move into IVF by march. Is that a possibility time wise?

How are you doing? I tried reading through the posts to see if you have any news? All I can see is that you need to wait for the beta test ... I am so praying and hopeful for you.

Yes, it is a lot to digest. Besides having to carve out a lot of time for the IVF (lots of ultrasounds and blood work), and poking myself with needles at all hours of the day, it wasn't that bad. I doubt I will do a 3rd round of IVF, but I'm glad I did the 2 I did. I have a pretty high stress job and was able to manage it. It just isn't the best most fun thing to do.

You would have to ask your FS about whether to try an IUI first, I don't think it could hurt, but with an AMH that is lower, your clock is ticking. Honestly, the number of visits to the FS office was almost as bad for the IUI as it was for the IVF. So both will take a lot of time out of your day. I was lucky and was able to have most of my appointments before work so I didn't miss much.

Hopefully that all helps?

AFM - BFN this morning. Figure I will wait until the 28th my BETA day before testing again. I don't want to be upset tomorrow on Christmas.

 

[Philomena]

Alicatt. That is a lot of info to digest and frankly sounds brutal. I don't know if I really want to go through all of that. I have a job that requires me to be on at all times. Do I lessen my chances if I try iui and try ivf if it doesn't work? They told me to start vitamin D immediately. Other than that have my other exams next week. Ill ease into this. I'm wondering if I should try IUI in January and if it doesn't work move into IVF by march. Is that a possibility time wise?

How are you doing? I tried reading through the posts to see if you have any news? All I can see is that you need to wait for the beta test ... I am so praying and hopeful for you.

My vote goes for trying IUI first and then if that doesn't work, to move into IVF.... you never know, you could easily be as lucky as I was and get it on the first go!!
I admire what Ali has been through, because I really don't know if I would have the stamina for it all!

 

[alicatt]

Merry Christmas everybody!


I'm all ready and will probably get a good chance to catch up in a couple of days.


Ali, I hear what you are saying and we all know that sinking feeling but I'll throw in my tuppence worth - I got a BFN at 20DPO with my DS, I didnt test again until 40DPO as had a niggling feeling I wasn't right and got my BFP then.

xoxo

WOW! OK well that certainly helps! Maybe there is hope At this time of year I can't help but have faith and be hopeful.

Merry Christmas to you too!

 

[Philomena]

Well, Ladies, here we are on Christmas Eve! I'm still preggers! but I honestly don't think much will happen until after Christmas now.... the Babes and I have been having chats about it.... I want her to pick her own birthdate, but just not today, tomorrow or Boxing Day! Any other day after that is fine with me!!
My 'feeling' is that nothing will happen before then, so I am going to just sit back and enjoy my Christmas!
We are going over to my parents' house tonight for a visit with all my siblings and their spouses- I think my step-dad is taking us all out for Chinese food.... which is a shame, because I 'like' Chinese food, but it invariably causes me to retch in the middle of the night.... I've tried eating it 3 or 4 times this pregnancy, and each time I am woken in the night by a nasty, angry tummy!
I suspect I will eat something before and after.... or maybe try to just stick with veggies only or something.... I usually really like ginger beef and fried rice, but those are a no go for right now!!
Tomorrow we spend the whole day at my parents' house and will do prezzies, eat brunch, nap in the afternoon, and then I'll help my mom put on turkey dinner for 14 that evening!!
Boxing Day, I plan on spending the whole day IN BED!!! what a luxury!!
AND I'm not making any plans to meet friends or anything next week.... people can come to my house to see me.... I just want to putt around and wait for this Baby.... I still have some decluttering I can do, but all the major stuff is done.... and aside from going grocery shopping and midwife appointments, I just want to cocoon myself and get centred.....

At my Blessingway, I gave each woman who attended a little nest, with three golden bronze eggs inside.... the eggs represent Strength, Courage, Wisdom and it was my wish that the nest and eggs would remind them that we each possess these traits and that, as women, we can access them from deep within....

So I send the same wish to each of you...... Have a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, a Joyous Yuletide.....

Each of you are special and unique and always remember we are never alone in any part of our journey.....

phil.

 

[Babywhisperer]

So I broke down and tested this morning.. used a IC, FRER and CBE (had all my bases covered). All 3 BFN. I'm 9dp5dt. I think the fat lady is singing. My only glimmer of hope is that the FRER had the faintest hint that maybe a line might appear. Or it could have been evap. I'm guessing evap since the other 2 didn't show anything. It was TMU though (third morning). So I just think by now it should show! I'm 14 DPO. I have to wait until Friday for my BETA. AHHHHHHHHHHH

Ali as you know some don't get a bfp until after their beta. Be patient and have faith. Can you post a pic of the test w/ a faint line? If you must keep testing, then wait until tomorrow with fmu. Stay positive babe, it will happen. If it doesn't happen have you thought of donor eggs? I told you guys my friend had multiple failed cycles and mc's and she switched RE groups, did donor eggs and is due in March w/ twins. Just an idea. Try to wait until after Christmas to test again so you can enjoy the holiday.

Thanks BabyWhisperer - I still have the 4 frosties waiting for me, so this isn't the end yet. I don't think I will go the route of donor eggs, since I'm already using donor sperm! It seems kind of silly. I took a picture of the FRER and it isn't even showing up on the picture, so there isn't much point in posting it. I think I'll just wait until BETA now.

Sounds like your DH is a stubborn SOB (and I mean that in the kindest way). I agree with you that he needs to stop taking it for 3-6 months, his hair isn't going to fall out in that amount of time! My step brother did a hair transplant, they took hair from behind his ears and put it in the balding area, and now he has a full head of hair again. So even if he does, there are other means of dealing with it than putting really harmful chemicals in his body. Has he thought of the side effects of that stuff? I mean if it is altering his what else is it doing to his body? Yikes, I just don't want to think about that.

Merry Christmas!!!

He is very stubborn and won't listen until someone else echoes what I have said. He has hair, no bald spots, but according to him it is thinning. His Dad was bald and 2 of the 3 brothers are really losing their hair. We were at a party on Friday night and one of his friends told him he stopped taking it before they conceived b/c of what he read and his hair hasn't changed...the bad thing is, this guy has always had thin hair, so not the best person to say that to dh. He knows the side effects, but he'd rather take the risks than be bald. I don't know what it is, but I have hit a nerve here and he said he wakes up every morning seeing the difference and feeling older. He has a real fear of aging and I don't get it/ I am 2yrs older and don't obsess like he does. He hates his bday so much he gets depressed, that's why we are going to Vail for his bday this year. He wants kids, but he thinks the effect of the meds is so low he is willing to take the chance since we could have other random problems from something else...very poor argument, but one from a desperate and paranoid point of view. I hope the RE is very stern in her opinion of Propecia on morphology to dh and that he won't lose his hair in 3 mos. But if that's the case and he stops the meds he said if he loses his hair he will never forgive me. And I am sure he will be inspecting his head every day multiple times and if he sees so much as a follicle of difference he will go ballistic.

WOW.. definitley stubborn! Well you could just tell him that you aren't going to use his since he's making them defective, and say that the only way you are going to do the IUI is with donor sperm! I know that is a bit harsh, but he's being just as silly about his hair. I really don't think you have much of a chance with his unless he goes off the propecia, or you do IVF. Have you considered donor at all? Maybe that would be enough to scare him straight? IDK. Maybe just tabling the discussion until your FS can knock some sense into him?

I don't think threatening to use donor sperm while married is a healthy way to argue. If the first clomid/IUI doesn't work and the RE tells him he is ruining our chances will be enough to get him to stop. The thing he keeps focusing on is his count is 90million which is almost 5 times what they look for (20million), so he does the math of 5% morphology of 90million sperm and he thinks it's enough...4.5million vs. 6million (30% of 20million) I know he is stubborn, but if he hears the RE say he is ruining our chances, we have a failed clomid/iui, and she explains what is involved with IVF and the cost...I think he will come to the realization that a couple of months off the meds is the best route vs. wasting time with failed IUI and only being left w/ IVF which will be a major hardship for me since I have the 2hr commute a day I will have to go to Lenox Hill in the city every other day for 8-12 days for monitoring before work since I don't want to leave work early to see the RE at the LI office...work will know something is up. He has not heard from the RE what IVF entails and I think once he does he will realize he is being irrational, unreasonable, and unfair. I could always be awful and tell his Mom who is dying for Grandkids that she won't get any b/c her vain son won't stop propecia for a few months...she will tell him he's being ridiculous.

I don't disagree with you about threatening to use donor sperm, not the best idea, agreed. I was suggesting it since he is being equally unreasonable. More of a tongue and cheek kind of thing. I hope I didn't offend you! Well just hope for the best with the IUI and the FS's recommendations for what to try next. Maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised and get pregnant the first go!

No offense taken...just a very delicate situation that requires some tact, esp with a dh who is fearful that if he stops Propecia his hair will fall out. Apparently it works to keep the hair you have, not regrow what falls out. I told him it's not like he's going to sneeze and it will all fall out. It's absurd, but I guess some men are more sensitive than others about this...just never realized it before as it never came up. We had another discussion tonight and he was more reasonable saying that if the RE says it's ruining our chances he will stop while trying to conceive. I hope she takes a firm stance on this instead of saying things like "Well it's not really documented, but we suspect..." she needs to say that they KNOW it's an issue and once men stop the drug their morphology improves dramatically. I guess I can talk to her before our appointment.

 

[never_give_up]

Merry Christmas ladies
I have one request Ali. Could you please change your status from doubtful to hopeful? I am hopeful and I think you should be too. It is difficult to have to wait for beta date but it is the only accurate test. hpt's dont work this early for everyone.

It was snowing all day so we have about 2 inches. It just stopped. Dh is out snowblowing so we can go to midnight mass later. We have a white Christmas this year