Welcome to 'Trying To Conceive Over 35'

[2013ttc]

I'm 35 and soon 36. My husband and I have three daughters between us ages 13, 9,and 8. But we don't have any of our own. I fell pregnant 9 months ago, was a massive surprise because we weren't trying. Had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks our baby would have been due today. I have tried to convince myself that we have been blessed with three children, but no matter what I do I have this burning desire to have my husbands baby. And he feels the same. I also had an early miscarriage last month at 5 weeks. Waiting for AF any day now. Hope we all get our wishes soon. Every month is heart breaking

 

[Grey Eyes]

Sam- hm...it could be a fluke temp, lets see what you get in the morning. It it is still low then I would opk for a couple more days...you may have a stubborn egg and maybe just takes a xtra surge of lh?

2013ttc- welcome! This is an awesome thread! Hm...your mc's are early. I also had mc at betweenb 7-11 weeks. After researching discovered at our age corpus ;uteum may die prematurely. this is what provides progesterone to the embryo until placenta takes over around week 12. After my mc in Nov I found out we were preggo again in January At that point my doc agreed to put me on vaginal suppository progesterone supplement until week 12. Would you consider that when you get your next bfp? Waning progesterone due to failing corpus luteum may be a reason for your early mc's?
and

 

[Samsfan]

Opks are now negative. Temps are not really rising. Wth!!!!

 

[Samsfan]

Did I tell everyone Im exhausted. Woke up fatigued.

 

[never_give_up]

Hey everyone... sorry I'm sporadic... but thought I had a big project today and I had to prepare all day yesterday and it fell through!

Phil!!!! Congrats she is precious!

Ali- Good news, I hear! So when are you starting your next round. I am about to send a ranting email to my FS. I sent him my email about a schedule and he has not written me back with a plan since Wed! I want to say. You are fired!

So I had 2 positive OPK's yesterday and the day before and today my temp dipped. IDK what that means. I'm extra fatigued today and I went for acupuncture. I fell asleep with needles in me... I feel great!

Samsfan It could be that you surged but didn't ovulate right away. Often women will have a surge and not ovulate and then have another surge a few days later and then ovulate so keep every other day.

 

[never_give_up]

Good morning ladies!

Coy- Aeryn is such a cutie Love the pics you posted and that is a very strong opk

Welcome 2013tts! I also get early miscarriages. The longest I've been pregnant is 9 weeks which was the first time I got a bfp 3 years ago this month. I agree with Coy about the progesterone. I think I have the same issue because many months I get very sore breast for 5 days after ovulation, triphastic chart and period will be 4 or 5 days late then still shows up. I am not seeing a FS at the moment so I'm thinking of trying some natural progesterone over the counter and see if it helps.

Well I was feeling hopeful this month since Fertility friend showed my chart was triphastic from cycle day 21. However I had a huge temp dip this morning and of course fertility friend removed the implantation/triphastic comments. I never test until is late but I was going to poas this morning 13dpo IF my temps were still high. Sorry Coy I feel really down today I know better than to get my hopes up like that. Tomorrow will be a crappy day with severe cramps and vomitting. UGH! Also it has been raining here for 2 days and is expected to continue tomorrow and I can feel the fibromyalgia flaring up. On the bright side I am have been ovulating earlier (cd12). I also made an appointment for dh to see the urologist since it's bee over 2 years since he's had his analyzed. I also made gyno appointment to discuss having a laparoscopy done.

 

[never_give_up]

Ladies..

Phil - So happy about your little girl! I know I said so yesterday but I just wanted to say it again! I bet you are on When you are up to it we'd love to hear the whole story.

Coy - sounds like a good start to the day? Hopefully it will be a little less chaotic over there! Did you get your paper done? I love geography so your study of the continental rift is right up my alley. I used to love going up the mountains just west of Denver. There is an area called dinosaur ridge and you can see the dinosaur footprints in the sand (well it was sand it is now sandstone), so totally amazing. Also you can see the different types of rock that formed the rockies as you drive up I-70 into the mountains, it never ceased to amaze me when I drove through. I'm a junkie for rocks!

OK so now on to the reason I'm posting today.. DRUMROLL...

I got a call from my FS's office. The clotting and auto-immune testing came back, and I'm normal! YAY! That means no lupus or chromosomal abnormalities, or any strange clotting issues. Totally normal. The only test that is still outstanding is the NK test. That is the one that had to be sent to a special lab. They are going to call them and get the estimated timeframe for the results of that test and if necessary I may have to push back my appointment with the FS if that test isn't going to be completed by Friday. Still, at least I know that 2 of the 3 sets of tests are normal!

Bad news.. I can't seem to get rid of the headache/migraine. I finally broke down and took my migraine meds today (and took the day off) and they are helping, but I feel like my brain isn't functioning at 100%, like something is stopping me from focusing. I am seeing my regular doctor tomorrow and will hopefully get some help with this. It has gone on long enough, and I need to get back to 100% for my sanity!

Ali that is great news that your clotting and auto-immune testing came back normal. Other than NK cells are there any other tests that you will have done? You are motivating me to try and get some answers as to why my embyos won't implant.

 

[Grey Eyes]

Good morning ladies!

Sam- I too think maybe you will get another surge. It is very common to not ovulate on the first surge and often lh has to surge more than once. What is your cm like if you don't mind telling?

Chantal- don't apologize! FF is not always accurate but you know your body better than anyone else. Sometimes it sucks being a woman Don't stress! What do you like to do to relax and de-stress? GO DO IT!

Ali- how are ya today lady??? What's the word on Hot Shot? (The new guy at work...) Did you dump him off your training cart?

AFM- hm, woke up at about 4 this morning with tummy cramps so am guessing maybe ovulation? With the positive opk yesterday, ewcm, and my temp raised slightly... Post-natal body is hard to figure! I want to track it then post my charts on another post-natal thread so women can study them. Now I am wondering if I will have a super short luteal phase like last month.....
I got in a fairly good work out last night, I always have to wait until dd's go to sleep because when I lift weights they like to run circles around me and under the weights...ugh! Anyway, my triceps are starting to show a little. Now including bicep, etc.....

OMG whenever I try to concentrate my oldest dd starts TALKING. She seriously talks a lot LOL! Perfect age for chatter-boxing. That's her sport. Chatter Boxing.

 

[Grey Eyes]

Angel- I know you are lurking to you!!! You are a tough lady, I love reading your posts!

 

[Grey Eyes]

Jess- I know you pop on once in a while too! I miss you and your posts! Keep strong you'll get your bfp!

 

[Grey Eyes]

Terri- where are you??? I'm gonna go check out your chart! I love chart stalking.....

 

[Grey Eyes]

Andra- did you get that massage?

 

[JenSC]

My doctor put me on Clomid, 50mg, because I was not ovulating. I have ovulated both months on the Clomid, but because I have not gotten pregnant, the doctor wants me to increase the dose to 100mg. If I am ovulating, what is the benefit of a higher dose? According to my research, the only possible benefit I have read about is multiple eggs. Thanks for the help ladies.

Coy, the legal field is not what it used to be. The average lawyer has student loans they will be paying off until they retire, and many lawyers are unemployed. The ones who are employed make very little. People think lawyers are well paid, but that is no longer true. If you are interested in the criminal justice field, I would recommend a forensics-type course (such as becoming a blood spatter expert) or really anything but law school. It is a great field if you just really love the law and want to learn more about it but don't have any expectations of making decent money. Unfortunately, the legal field is just flooded. That said, if you want to do it, I salute you! Oh, I should mention that even being charged with a crime can make it very hard to become bar certified. Different states have different standards; it is just something you should be aware of- hopefully it won't be any sort of issue for you. (I don't know what your situation is; I have just read you have some sort of hearing or trial upcoming.)

Jen- wow, I had no clue about even being charged can be a bar issue! Holy crap thanks town! lol! Aaaargh, I hate the town I live in....

My situation in a nutshell: my town is very racially prejudice. My dh is Italian/Oglala Lakota Sioux. I am a non-local which in this town is suicidal Anyway one of the store grocer managers was my business competitor years ago which puts a big target on my butt now for some reason He accused me recently (to the police) of switching a price tag on a bag of frozen chicken and claimed he had witnesses and video. I scoffed at all because I did not switch the tags.

Video #1 shows me walking down an aisle, selecting a bag of frozen chicken, placing it in my cart.

Video #2 shows me paying for it.

Video #3 shows me exiting the store.

Witness #1: "I saw her pay for the chicken".

Witness #2 (star witness): "I wasn't working that day but I saw the videos 1-3 and I think someone's been changing tags and I bet it's her..."


Lol! So here I am with my attorney and out a minimum of a thousand dollars in fees...

Re: field of law. My original motivation: professional trade and money (what else? ) But you are right I am seeing a flooded field. Blood spatter? You mean like forensics, correct? I could do that. I am somewhat cynical and agressive so and want something I can provide or my kids with above and beyond basic needs iykwim... I am combining criminal psychology in my study as well.

Wow! Just...wow. I cannot believe they are spending the time and money to take this to trial. Like Ali said, it would not happen in areas with actual crime! Since it is not a felony, it is likely the bar would just make you explain, then be willing to overlook it, but they have been known to be very arbitrary and capricious. Different states are different. Florida is especially bad. Here, they have decided non-traditional students are more likely to be dishonest and that opinion is reflected in their actions. Anyway, very good luck with the stupid trial! Yes, when I said blood spatter expert, I meant like a forensic serologist or other forensic tech job. The downside is that you wouldn't use criminal psychology, which is a fascinating part of the CJ world. I loved that aspect of my training. My husband says I am "the murderer whisperer" because I can usually tell what type of person committed a crime, and whether someone is being honest. (We watch a lot of 48 Hours, 20/20, etc. together, and he has stopped arguing with me. About crime stuff, anyway.)
When I was about 14, my best friend's mother was warning us to be very careful in the world, that there are bad people out there. To illustrate her point, she told us that when she was a teenager in Riverside, she was supposed to go to the library with her friend but backed out at the last minute. Her friend went anyway. That friend was Cheri Jo Bates and she is believed to be the first victim of the Zodiac (she was stabbed to death in the library parking lot the night my friend's mom was supposed to go with her). The story fascinated me, and I started reading about crime. I read Ann Rule's The Stranger Beside Me and was hooked! The area I am from has more serial killers than anywhere else in the world. No one knows why it is the center of the universe for serial murderers, but it is. If you haven't already read Ann Rule, I strongly recommend her to anyone interested in crime. She is amazing at what she does.

 

[JenSC]

My doctor put me on Clomid, 50mg, because I was not ovulating. I have ovulated both months on the Clomid, but because I have not gotten pregnant, the doctor wants me to increase the dose to 100mg. If I am ovulating, what is the benefit of a higher dose? According to my research, the only possible benefit I have read about is multiple eggs. Thanks for the help ladies.

Coy, the legal field is not what it used to be. The average lawyer has student loans they will be paying off until they retire, and many lawyers are unemployed. The ones who are employed make very little. People think lawyers are well paid, but that is no longer true. If you are interested in the criminal justice field, I would recommend a forensics-type course (such as becoming a blood spatter expert) or really anything but law school. It is a great field if you just really love the law and want to learn more about it but don't have any expectations of making decent money. Unfortunately, the legal field is just flooded. That said, if you want to do it, I salute you! Oh, I should mention that even being charged with a crime can make it very hard to become bar certified. Different states have different standards; it is just something you should be aware of- hopefully it won't be any sort of issue for you. (I don't know what your situation is; I have just read you have some sort of hearing or trial upcoming.)

Interesting, my family wanted me to become a lawyer, I always wanted to be an architect. I ended up being neither! If I could go back and do it all over again I would be a Doctor. I love medicine, and how the body works, or in some cases doesn't work. It fascinates me! I keep joking that if I could go back to school right now I'd go into medicine. Thing is that at 40, I'm too old! I'd be getting out of residency, and be ready to retire! LOL!

On to Clomid. I was originally put on 100mg of clomid as we were trying to encourage multiple eggs. I was already ovulating on my own but the idea was to increase my chances with multiple follicles. It didn't work for me, but we only gave that particular med 1 try (via IUI), I then went to Canada for 2 months, and did 1 IUI unmedicated, and another IUI using Gonal F and menopur. Neither of those worked either. I ovulated each time, sometimes up to 4 eggs! Still nothing! Then 2 IVFs later, I still have nothing to show for it but an almost empty bank account.

From what I know about Clomid, the Dr's usually do up the dose if it isn't working, but from what you have said, you haven't really been getting the timing down which is more likely the cause of it not working. Sounds to me like upping the dose is not necessarily the best option. Getting your DH in better shape to be able to at the right time is probably the better option at the moment. Course upping the dose of Clomid AND getting the timing right could result in twins, or at least an increased chance if only a singleton. I guess it is up to you? Do you want twins? If so I'd say go for the 100mg and do whatever you need to do to get your DH to with you at the right times Oh, one caution I will make with using Clomid, is that it thins the lining. Since you aren't being monitored you can't be sure that it is doing this or not, but it very well could be. Taking baby aspirin from the start of your cycle through until ovulation can help improve your lining. So can raspberry leaf tea (so I've heard). So you might want to consider adding these to your diet for the first 2 weeks of your cycle to counter act the thinning of your lining from the Clomid.

I know about the risk of thinning the lining, but I did not know baby aspirin can help counteract that risk. Thanks! That is very helpful to know. My husband has seen countless doctors and specialists, and his condition is managed as well as it can be. There is nothing more we can do. I will just hope he will feel well at the critical times! I think I am going to take only 50 mg of Clomid for another month or two, that way I can take it longer (four months of 50 mg instead of 2 months of 100mg.) I would not mind having twins; in fact, I would prefer it (I have read all the risks and doctors agree that having twins is safe). That said, it is very unlikely on any dose of Clomid (about 10% on a high dose), and I would be shocked if it happened to me. Thanks for the tips!

 

[Grey Eyes]

Jen, wow- small world! This town has its share of crime but it is also victim to the "good ol' boy" system iykwim? What we have here mostly is robberies, domestic violence, and child molestation. In fact last summer we heard our girls scream and they came running for the front door...we have a fully fenced front and back yard and there was some man opening the front gate. He was asking the girls (ages 7 and 3 at the time) if they would like to help him look for his "lost little kitty". Anyway dh jumped outside and the guy took off. We ran pics of several men here in town and our oldest fingered one. He is regeistered as a sex offender.

Another reason I want to move! Aaah!

Anyway I am considering broadening my field of study to include forensics like you mentioned. My dh did some profiling back in the 90s but not since he became disabled.

 

[JenSC]

Ali- I know right? Judge Judy..seriously! In a heartbeat

Nope there is no foundation for the accusation that was made...it's just this town loves to drag me through muck if they can. Personal history. Maybe I fired somebody's kid or refused to hire an uncle of somebody or something? It gets around and is super easy to make enemies here even without trying to. So everyone tries to "get even" if they can. It drives me crazy because I can't really afford it you know? But I refuse to take it laying down iykwim I am hoping I can sue for fees back plus damages on reputation. So crazy! That's all I need....do all this educating then get refused law school over someone's made-up junk Aaargh!

Btw...bleach is killer, ya gotta be careful with it! I never put it against my skin. Maybe pick up some cleaning gloves?

Sadly, there is no chance that the grocery store will have to reimburse you for your legal fees. They did not bring the charges, the state did, so they aren't considered a party to the action. As to suing for defamation, that is also a non-starter. A defamatory statement is a malicious statement that you can PROVE is false. If you are acquitted (fingers crossed!), the grocery store will argue there was enough reason to believe you committed the crime that charges were pressed. Also, any statements they made to the police are privileged statements, immune to defamation suits. I know, our system totally sucks sometimes! I hope they get laughed out of court! It is too bad the judge even bound this over for trial. The standard is really low, so I am not totally surprised, but I AM shocked the prosecutor is taking the time to deal with this absurd case! You should ask him if this is what he dreamed of doing in law school . "One day, after seven years of college, suffering through the bar exam and taking out a smothering amount of student loans, I hope to prosecute the vicious, dangerous criminals who are accused of switching stickers at the grocery store to save a dollar! My family will be so proud!" Good lord.

(It is totally an ethical violation for me to say this stuff, so please don't report me ).

 

[JenSC]

I spoke to my Dr about Clomid and she said thinning of the lining was a small % of women who take it and it's on higher doses. My friend just got her bfp after 2yrs of trying and they did 2 mos of clomid 50mg. She just entered her 2nd trimester this week too. I think I will try clomid/IUI after seeing what the 2nd RE says on Feb 19. The puts me taking the meds 3 cycles from now. I'm hoping the acupuncture I am going for by then has me in better shape for things to work. Weird thing though...I had some crazy dreams last night, 1 being me looking at a + on a FRER, and then keeping it from my family until I was in my 2nd trimester. The the next dream was even stranger.

Going to look at a house this afternoon...but it backs onto a cemetery..I'd be scared for every sound, creak, shadow! I wouldn't be able to be at home alone at night! I'd be waiting for a poltergeist!! We'll see, the house is big and all redone, 4 bdrms...there is always a catch.

Not feeling like it's a good month for us as we only bd twice during my fertile days. We were like rabbits earlier in my cycle but the timing was bad. Since I had 4 days of fever it means I will be getting af the day before we leave for Vail...and my fertile days won't be while on vacay. Sucks...having af for dh's bday and vacay...damn!

How was everyone's weekend?[/QUOTE]

Thank you, that information about the lining puts my mind at ease! I also love to hear the success stories. Like you and your husband, we didn't get much sex during the fertile period; only once on the day of my opk+, so I am sure this is not the month. Last month we only did it the day before the positive and two days after. I can't wait for the pollen level to drop so my husband feels better! This can be filed under sad but true: my husband was sleeping on his back the day after the opk+ and he was doing his sundial impression, if you get me. I had an almost overwhelming urge to make use of it! (We had tried the day before and he hadn't been able. )

I don't like to admit it, but I couldn't live in a cemetery-adjacent house! Like you, I would think every noise or draft was the haunting! It is strange: I am a science person at heart, and an atheist, but I do believe in ghosts a little. My brain doesn't but my heart does. I swear, when I was in HS and staying at my best friend's house, I learned their house was haunted. It makes me sound crazy and my husband is horrified that I believe this, but I know what I experienced. My friend and her sister experienced it as well. I woke up and there was an old lady sitting on the end of my bed. I felt very comfortable and secure, like you do when you are a little kid and your mom checks on you in the night. I knew she was watching over me. The next day, I asked my friend and her sister if they ever thought the house was haunted. My friend replied "you've seen her, too?" We knew the previous owner had died in that room, and after did a little research and found out that one day, her granddaughter was staying there and chased her ball into the street. She was hit by a car and killed. I have always thought that was the reason only us three young girls, and not my friend's parents, experienced this: she felt horribly guilty that she hadn't watched over her granddaughter closely enough and she was watching out for us. Okay, please don't reserve me a rubber room!

 

[JenSC]

Ahhhh! Got my wood cut and now I am ff-f-f-reezing! I also went and purchased some diesel...you know...quick firestarter! Shae on me, I know.... lol

Well, took another hpt - negative for now. I am (tmi) having tons of ewcm so expecting to maybe get a positive opk soon. In fact- I'm gonna go poas! lol! Just eager to get my body back to "norma;" (whatever that is!)

How bout all ya'll? How is everyone today?

Phil- pics!!! lol

Okay, hold the phone! You took a hpt? I didn't think you were trying? Hopefully your cycle regulates soon. Are you breastfeeding? I am guessing not, since you have ovulated since the baby, if I remember correctly...

Phil- Congrats! I am sorry the labor was so long and ended with a C-section, but so happy for you that all is well with your beautiful baby. What have you named her? A labor horror story to make you feel better: My mother was in labor with me for a week. A whole week. The doctors said I was more than two months early, so they tried everything to stop the labor (including getting my mom drunk. Yes, really- the alcohol, given IV, can override the body's release of oxytocin. (My spell check wants me to change that to Oxycontin ). They succeeded only in dragging it out, and I was born with fingernails, thick hair, and fully developed lungs. The doctors calculated her due date using two factors: first, the date of her lmp. I was her first baby, but with her second she confirmed what she suspected with me: she continues to get periods after conception. Second, they went by size of fetal me. I am 5' tall, 2" taller than my mother, so I was just smaller than normal as a baby as well. The doctors were wrong, my mom was right. Doctors are wrong so often! I am so glad you were right and all is well. I hope you can get some rest (though that is probably the impossible dream with a newborn!)

 

[JenSC]

Aeryn loving sitting in daddy's big chair...

https://i1150.photobucket.com/albums/o611/greyeyes3/000_4403_zpsadc32f2d.jpg

And....very happy about her swing

https://i1150.photobucket.com/albums/o611/greyeyes3/Aeryn1122013_zpsbdab593b.jpg

Question...
Positive??
https://i1150.photobucket.com/albums/o611/greyeyes3/000_4418_zpse4f0f6f8.jpg

The control line is the one closest to the blue part, right? If so, yes! If not, super close. Aeryn is a truly beautiful baby! Really, baby model material! Her coloring is stunning.

 

[JenSC]

I'm 35 and soon 36. My husband and I have three daughters between us ages 13, 9,and 8. But we don't have any of our own. I fell pregnant 9 months ago, was a massive surprise because we weren't trying. Had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks our baby would have been due today. I have tried to convince myself that we have been blessed with three children, but no matter what I do I have this burning desire to have my husbands baby. And he feels the same. I also had an early miscarriage last month at 5 weeks. Waiting for AF any day now. Hope we all get our wishes soon. Every month is heart breaking

Hello! Welcome to the thread. The ladies on here know most everything about trying to get pregnant and they are very supportive. Like you, I am 35 years old. My husband is 28 and neither of us have children. We have been married for three and a half years (funny note: we met in law school and got married two weeks later. Yep, two weeks after we met!) We have never used birth control. We fell in the category of not trying/not preventing. About six months ago, I did some reading and became concerned we had not gotten pregnant yet. I used opks (ovulation prediction kits) and never got a positive. My doctor put me on Clomid at the end of November and it has resulted in ovulation. Yay! I am currently in my 2ww (two week wait), my second on Clomid. I am not optimistic, though, as my husband was sick and we only had sex once during the critical window (on the day of the opk+). He has chronic allergies, so that makes it difficult for him to....rise to the occasion, and that has been very difficult.

I am so sorry about your miscarriages. I know how agonizing they can be. Since you have children, you know you can carry a baby to term, so you and your husband will have a baby together. I know what you mean about wanting your husband's baby; I did not want children until I met my husband, then wanted his baby. Does your doctor have any theory on why you have miscarried twice? Do you by chance have a negative Rh factor?

I understand completely your feeling that every month is heartbreaking. All of us on this board understand. I read an article recently that said that when you get your period while TTC, you go through the five stages of grief all at once. Denial: "a lot of women get their periods while pregnant. Maybe I am like that." Anger: "everyone else has babies so easily! Why don't I?" Bargaining: "if I could just have a baby, I would be so happy/be a better person, etc." It is a roller coaster of emotion. We are all here for you, so don't hesitate to share your feelings with us. That is what we do here. Also, feel free to send me a private message anytime if I can help.

Again, Welcome!
-Jen