Hello ladies. I am so glad I found this thread! I am 35 years old, and I have been married for three years and three months. In that time, my husband and I have never used birth control. We weren't exactly trying, just not trying not to, if you follow me. When I didn't get pregnant after a year, even two, I blamed our mostly weekends-only sex life, figuring that if you added up the months we had had sex at the right time, we were under 12 months and everything was fine. I started to grow progressively more concerned and started doing ovulation detection kits, which are never positive. I have mostly regular periods, though last month was a 23 day cycle, and that was very odd. I have a doctor's appointment for next Wednesday, the 21st. I am very nervous and feeling scared. I always thought that when the time came for me to get pregnant, it would be easy like it is for all the other women I know. I never thought I would be in this position. I want to cry every time I am confronted with other people's pregnancies. My husband is wonderful, but he seems to feel we have all the time in the world. Meanwhile, my biological clock is ticking so loud in my head it is keeping me awake at night. For some reason, I do not want to talk to the women in my life about this. I think it is because they do not understand, and the few trial balloons I have sent up have been met with "don't worry about it" sort of responses. I tried another forum, but a lot of the women there were trying to conceive number 3, 4, or even 5, and many were in their mid-20's. I do not mean to be reductive about what they are going through, but there is something unique about feeling like the clock is running out and fearing you may never have any children, let alone 5! One 26 year-old replied "wow, I would really be kicking myself if I had waited until after 30! Your fertility is decreasing substantially." It made me furious. I know she meant well, but it did not go over well with me. I replied that I was not in a position to have children when I was in my 20s, so I really couldn't regret it, but of course that is not completely true. I do feel like I wasted my fertile years and wish things had been different. I am in need of support on this issue and am happy to give it in return. I am happy I found you all, as you seem like such a nice group. Sorry this was so long!
Hi Jen!
Welcome to the thread. We are all over 35 and while some have been working on child number 2, 3, 4, or 5, there are some of us that are still trying for number 1 (like me). Once you hit 35 there are unique issues that can cause you to have trouble, things like diminished ovarian reserve, but from what I have seen, even those with diminshed ovarian reserve can be successful. Others have DH's with poor quality or low sperm counts, and they are successful too. The best thing you can do is to get yourself checked out, and your DH as well. Then you will know what the issues are (if any) and make decisions.
I'm trying this all on my own (single and I just turned 40). So I had to start with a fertility specialist right off the bat, there was not trying on my own!

The tests you want to have are these:
1) AMH - test for ovarian reserve
2) Day 3 Blood work -this website will tell you all about each of the tests, and AMH can be done at the same time: https://www.fertilityplus.com/faq/hormonelevels.html
3) HSG - this is a test that checks your tubes to make sure they are open
4) DH - he needs a SA (test to see what his sperm count is like)
Based upon the results of these tests, you may opt to try working with a FS.
First they usually try something mild like Clomid or Femara with timed intercourse, next you could try Clomid or Femara with an IUI, following that they often step you up to injection medications to get more eggs, and still do timed intercourse or an IUI. Finally there is IVF.
There are lots of options, and not all of them cost an arm and a leg, in fact, if you have decent insurance most of the testing is covered, and in some cases they will even pay a certain amount for treatments too. The first option may just cost the co-pays for the visits to the Dr, plus the cost of clomid, which is a generic so no more than $30 for a cycle.
Again, these options will vary depending on whether they find anything wrong. Hopefully they don't find anything wrong at all!
