I recently had a D&C after our 3rd pregnancy failed. And now we keep reconsidering if we should try again.
Why would we (especially myself, OH would go along) want another kid: More love all around - life is so much more fun with kids. I also looooove babies and young kids (bit worried about the teenage years lol).
Some issues:
We have two healthy, wonderful kids already. We might not be so lucky again.
Next year, we'd really have time with our second (currently a bit over 2.5) while our first (now 4.5) is in kindergarten until 3pm, before he starts full-time pre-k the year after. So he'd finally get that one on one attention. A new baby (if we got pregnant right away) would ruin that in the winter and spring. I am also thinking on looking for a new job in the fall, which might not work so well being visibly pregnant. So we are considering waiting a few months. Does that make sense, even given my advanced maternal age (almost 40)?
More long term, I am also worried about the effects, on our second especially, as our time will be more limited - help with homework for instance. Or teaching him reading and writing in our native languages. I don't think our first would be very much affected in that regard, as I expect he'll breeze through school (he is already reading in 2 languages with barely any encouragement). Basically, if you are a middle child, did you feel neglected? What about a third kid? Our boys are best buddies - a much younger third might feel left out...
And even more long-term: I am almost 40, OH is already into his 40's...We'd be 60ish by the time #3 graduates high school. What if something happens to us before then? The other spouse would have to manage 3 kids alone... We do not have any family nearby, and our parents are too old to help.
Financial issues are not a consideration. Though I guess traveling for pleasure might be an issue - we hate traveling even with only 2 young ones.
Any views, experiences etc. are much appreciated. This decision is agonizing. If I weren't so old, I'd simply take some more time to make up my mind.
Why would we (especially myself, OH would go along) want another kid: More love all around - life is so much more fun with kids. I also looooove babies and young kids (bit worried about the teenage years lol).
Some issues:
We have two healthy, wonderful kids already. We might not be so lucky again.
Next year, we'd really have time with our second (currently a bit over 2.5) while our first (now 4.5) is in kindergarten until 3pm, before he starts full-time pre-k the year after. So he'd finally get that one on one attention. A new baby (if we got pregnant right away) would ruin that in the winter and spring. I am also thinking on looking for a new job in the fall, which might not work so well being visibly pregnant. So we are considering waiting a few months. Does that make sense, even given my advanced maternal age (almost 40)?
More long term, I am also worried about the effects, on our second especially, as our time will be more limited - help with homework for instance. Or teaching him reading and writing in our native languages. I don't think our first would be very much affected in that regard, as I expect he'll breeze through school (he is already reading in 2 languages with barely any encouragement). Basically, if you are a middle child, did you feel neglected? What about a third kid? Our boys are best buddies - a much younger third might feel left out...
And even more long-term: I am almost 40, OH is already into his 40's...We'd be 60ish by the time #3 graduates high school. What if something happens to us before then? The other spouse would have to manage 3 kids alone... We do not have any family nearby, and our parents are too old to help.
Financial issues are not a consideration. Though I guess traveling for pleasure might be an issue - we hate traveling even with only 2 young ones.
Any views, experiences etc. are much appreciated. This decision is agonizing. If I weren't so old, I'd simply take some more time to make up my mind.