What am i going to do, why does he have to tell me this now

[ryder]

I dont know anything about your benefits, as quite frankly, here you would be getting very little from the government if you were living with parents and going to school.

I agree with everything mervs mum and blob have said.

Not to sound harsh, but it is your choice to have a baby, and you are very lucky you and your OH are not having to get your own place to do so, because rent, bills, food, heat, hydro etc etc all cost ALOT, way more then you can ever imagine until you are actually doing it. Your parents dont have to let you stay there, especially if they dont have alot of extra money to throw around, your a grown up now.

I can see your dads point about all the extra money, its another person showering, another person needing food, another person doing laundry, another person flushing the toilet, plus on top of the the expense of a baby and doing that for a baby.

I do agree you need some independance, You should have your dad sit down and talk about how much he thinks it fair. I think it would be nice for you to buy Aidens supplies too, as this is your baby and you should be getting the experience doing it.

 

[ellasmummy]

When your baby is born if you are going to claim benefits your parents benefits for you will stop. I was 16 when i got pregnant with Ella and i lived at home with my mum and moved in with my OH when Ella was 2months old. My mums child benefit and tax credit stopped because i was pregnant and i claimed child benefit and tax credit for Ella. And then i claimed Income Support because i wasnt working and i was classed as a single parent as i didnt live with OH. I also got Sure start maternity grant. I dont know if it is different because of where you live. So you should still be able to claim benefits in your name, best thing to do is speak to someone at your local job centre.

To do with the situation with your dad im not too sure babe. You should speak with your mum and dad and tell them how you want things to be and come to some sort of agreement. Your parents are great for supporting you and your OH.

Hope you get this sorted xx

 

[aurora32]

Hate to point out the obvious here but child benefit is for the baby and things it requires not for paying towards rent and houshold bills, think you need to go speak to an advisor at your local job centre hunn and see exactly what you and oh are entitled to considering your circumstances, i can see partly where your dad is coming from BUT if its your mum who is doing all the earning while he sits at home and he is getting your child benefit i think he is being a bit unfair here.
Go get some sound advice on what you are entitled too, cos at some point you will need to stand on your own 2 feet and need to know all this info.
Hope you get things sorted hunn.

 

[Blah11]

If your dad is going to provide for you, your OH and Aidan then I'd just give him the money (if I was in ur position). He's probably gonna end up spending more than what you give him on shopping, bills, baby stuff etc etc anyway.

It's a toughy though.

 

[LuluBee]

I would be a little sneaky and ask your mum if you can sit down together to work out your finances and your budget for when Aiden's born. You can then slip into the owrking out's that your father plans to take all the benefits. It might be that if you sit down together you can work out a compromise where a small portion of your money goes towards helping your parents out and then the majority is left for you to buy the things Aiden needs.

 

[Novbaby08]

Well I don't like in the UK so I have no idea how things work over there but still, it sounds like a bunch of shit. The benefits should go to you only because your the one who is responsible for Aidan

 

[Blah11]

Well I don't like in the UK so I have no idea how things work over there but still, it sounds like a bunch of shit. The benefits should go to you only because your the one who is responsible for Aidan

Yes but she's still dependant on her parents so it's like a sort of 'chain of command' that you get in the work place. Like your bosses boss is still in charge of you even though you don't directly report to them.

Okay bad way of explaining it but I tried :'(

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Well I don't like in the UK so I have no idea how things work over there but still, it sounds like a bunch of shit. The benefits should go to you only because your the one who is responsible for Aidan

Yes but she's still dependant on her parents so it's like a sort of 'chain of command' that you get in the work place. Like your bosses boss is still in charge of you even though you don't directly report to them.

Okay bad way of explaining it but I tried :'(

. aww thats a way of putting it hun lol

i understnad where you are coming from aswell. im gunna get everyone to sit down tonight and discuss it b4 it tunrs into a big family argument
xx

 

[lesleyann]

im no where near as far along as you hun.. but your parents wont be getting money for you from what i been told.. im 16 will be 17. but your child benifit money he has no clam to what so ever that money is for baby but if your getting some other money as well witch you do id sit down with your mum and work it out with her to give her so much per week or per month yes they will be losing alot of money but to be fair a baby in the house does not use much extra of anything..

he will have baby milk or your milk, nappies so no toilet, water is less then even half of what you would use in the shower or bath and washing baby clothes well there tiny...

so there money going out would not really go up much at all i no when my uncles baby was born his mum just asked for £20-£30 a week for his food, water, gas, electric... since the heating will still be on just as much if he was there or not and that kind of thing only thing extra was more food, some extra water and electic was being used...


but anyways to end this comment off just speak to your mum she is the one with the job paying for everything and while talking to her maybe just say how much money do you think i will be able or should give you aweek for upkeep and food since dad said i need to give you everything i get.. i know for a fact if i my dad said that to me he would be the one in the wrong and not me..

but good luck with what ever you decide to do and i hope it works out well for you

 

[v2007]

I was 17 when i had my 1st daughter and i recieved Income Support and Child Benefit and the Single parent element which is now Child Tax credit.

Your Father has no claim to any of your money, its your and for your LO when he puts in an appearance.

You dont have to give your Father anything, mayb rent which will include all the utilities.

When i lived wiv my Mam, i paid her £40 a wk. This was in 99-02.

When u submit your claim for benefits, the benefits your parents recieve for you will stop.

If im not mistaken, your over 16 and pregnant your can submit your own claim for IS at 29 wks.

Have you done this??

V x x x

 

[polo_princess]

How comes your dad gets the benefeits for your OH hun?

I would say offer to meet your dad in the middle, its easy to tell him to shove it but where will that land you? Your going to be a mum soon so you need to be sensible and rational. Offer your dad what you can comfortably afford .. he cant disagree with that can he?

I dont know the ins and outs of it hun but because OH is under 19 and in full time eduction my mum and dad are entitled to it because he lives with us

dad sorted it all out with the child benifit people though and there was a few problems but they finally decided he was entitled to it

ive tried meeting him half way by saying that i can spilt the money but he wont have it
xx

That just unreasonable!! Well at least youve offered, no one can say you point blank refused now

 

[Fern.x]

I pay rent money each month to my parents and give them that bit extra towards nappies ect.. you should also be recieving tokens of £3 a week till bubs arrive and then £6 a week after he arrives which can pay owrads baby milk, veg and cows milk. https://www.healthystart.nhs.uk/ If you were beastfeeding then this way you could give the tokens to ur dad and know that they were being spent on household goods. gd luck hun x

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I pay rent money each month to my parents and give them that bit extra towards nappies ect.. you should also be recieving tokens of £3 a week till bubs arrive and then £6 a week after he arrives which can pay owrads baby milk, veg and cows milk. https://www.healthystart.nhs.uk/ If you were beastfeeding then this way you could give the tokens to ur dad and know that they were being spent on household goods. gd luck hun x

thanks hun. yeah i get the vouchers huni and i give them to my mum already for anything she needs.
xx

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I was 17 when i had my 1st daughter and i recieved Income Support and Child Benefit and the Single parent element which is now Child Tax credit.

Your Father has no claim to any of your money, its your and for your LO when he puts in an appearance.

You dont have to give your Father anything, mayb rent which will include all the utilities.

When i lived wiv my Mam, i paid her £40 a wk. This was in 99-02.

When u submit your claim for benefits, the benefits your parents recieve for you will stop.

If im not mistaken, your over 16 and pregnant your can submit your own claim for IS at 29 wks.

Have you done this??

V x x x

the only thing ive applied for is the sure start grant (well my dad did) and thats it. Im going to go to the job centre and look at what im entitled to so then they can explain it all to me
xx

 

[v2007]

Go sooner rather than later.

Have a look on the Jobcentre website, all the details are on there as well.

Good luck and i hope your Ma can sort out your Dad

V X X X

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Go sooner rather than later.

Have a look on the Jobcentre website, all the details are on there as well.

Good luck and i hope your Ma can sort out your Dad

V X X X

thnaks hun i just suggested to my dad that we all sat down and discussed it but he just totally point blank said no and to leave until aidan is here.

But i want it sorted now so i dont have that extra worry
zz

 

[charveyron]

It's tricky hon! Can you and your dad not come to some arrangement of a figure of rent you could pay a week?? I hope you get it sorted soon, try not to worry too much though these things tend to sort themselves out

 

[bambikate]

Def speak to your mum honey x x x x

 

[cuddles314]

Aww hun, I really hope your Dad agrees to talk about this, and you manage to reach a comprimise which suits everyone. Good luck.
xxi