Outside of the baby itself, what aspect of your life changed the most and was hard to deal with? (You don't have to answer any of the questions, they're just examples)
Finances.. things haven't been too bad for me. I've always had a reliable (part-time) job, and my boyfriend works full-time... I'm waiting for my maternity benefits (paid through the government but not government assistance?) to come in.. but nothing yet.. so I'm on a limited budget right now because I don't know how long my money has to last me until I hear about my mat pay.
We had lots of help buying the baby stuff from our relatives, and got lots of lightly used baby items from friends and family also. We bought loads of diapers ahead of time when I was pregnant and they were on sale for half price (Huggies and Pampers) and that's helped. Formula, we buy a case of 12 cans of the concentrate and it usually lasts about 10 days, Elyse is a pokey eater compared to a lot of other babies.
I live with my parents and the baby, my boyfriend lives at his parents' house.. he pays like $200 rent to his parents, which is nothing really.. so our living expenses are very low.. which helps A LOT, we're trying to save up for a house!
Obviously, my parents didn't kick me out, lol.. they didn't even yell at me when I told them (though they weren't happy either).. my dad was a total asshole to me during my pregnancy. He'd say awful things to me, he wanted me to have an abortion, etc. but he LOVES Elyse, which surprised me a bit. He even visited me in the hospital everyday when she was born and when I had to go back in because of an infection! And he drove me to some of my doctor's appointments too when he was off work. Talk about a confusing relationship!! lol.. my mom was great; always 100% supportive and even excited. Spoils Elyse. My sister (17) loves Elyse too, always bugs me to babysit, she's a total baby hog at home too, takes her off me as soon as she comes home from school, plays with Elyse for a bit so I can wash up at night or so I can catch a TV show, etc.
I was in college already. Did the first semester of the year then left. I'm not returning to that program, I'm going to do distance ed (online courses) instead so I can work on that while I'm on maternity leave and be at home with Elyse at the same time. I saw the nurse at my school and she gave me a helpful book (that I've used a lot- it's the Baby and Child Care Encyclopaedia by Parents Canada)... gave me phone numbers for various programs, etc. The only thing that is negative about school is that I have less flexibility now.. I can't take another 4 years, I need to get a job and start paying bills and stuff.. so while I WANT to take a 2 or 4 year nursing program, I can't right now. Well, I could, but it'd be really hard for a long time.. and I don't think it's fair to Elyse that I take out student loans and stuff (my RESP won't cover a 4 year program now that I've dipped into it to do half my accounting program..) and I found courses that are good enough, pay well, in the same field, etc.
Friends.. it certainly changes things! Can't go out paryting and drinking when you're pregnant, can't stay out late really lol, etc.. the crowd I was in was all about the party and I can honestly say that while I didn't "lose" a lot of friends, we've totally drifted apart and things will never be the same. I made friends with other people that have kids that I knew before but wasn't close with, they've been AMAZING, it's refreshing that they can relate to me; I can't really relate to teenagers without kids or adults with kids if you know what I mean.
My boyfriend and I - our relationship was really strengthened by it all. It's been hard since Elyse was born.. we don't live together and he doesn't get over everyday (works 12 hour days, too tired- I understand but I'm exhausted too, and I don't get the option.. so it's sort of unfair in a way)..
And it has definitely changed me.. I still don't feel like myself. I feel sick, tired, cranky. I want a home for my family (boyfriend, Elyse & I), and it's frustrating that it's not there.. I'm gonna sound whiney but I'm pretty much a single parent.. I'm mom 24 hours/day, my boyfriend is only around 2-3 hours per night if at all.. and Elyse usually sleeps through the majority of his visit.. so I really am doing most of it on my own. After a long stressful, tiring day, if he can't make it over.. I'm shit out of luck.. and even worse, when I'm upset or stressed out, I don't have someone to hold me and comfort me at night or someone that does nice things for me.
Like I have my family & they help out & I'm grateful for it, but it's not the same! AND I feel guilty accepting their help.. I don't feel guilty asking my boyfriend to change his daughter because I need a break etc.
It was tough telling my parents.. but it's harder being a new mother! I had a c-section and my recovery is going very slowly.. this is definitely the hardest thing to deal with so far of my entire life. ALSO I thought I was really mature and that I grew up a lot over the course of my pregnancy.. but I'm now a mom and I realize that I have a lot more growing up to do and while I knew I couldn't be 100% ready I had no idea how much you sort of learn as you go. It's scary, frustrating, and exhausting at times.. but I can't describe what I feel when that baby is calm, happy, and looking me right in the eyes & I know I've done my job