What do you think?--Baby Showers for Second Children

[Rosered52]

Hi, all!

I'm expecting our second, another girl. It hasn't been long since the first (she'll be 27 months when the little one is born). I've had a handful of friends that are on a similar schedule to me who opted to have (low-key) baby showers for their second child. In those cases, I was close to them, and very happy to have a chance to get together and celebrate the new arrival.

Here's my question: what do you all think about showers for children beyond the first? I find that I'd sort of like to have an opportunity to gather with friends and family and celebrate the impending new life--more of a baby party than a shower. But, I'm really curious about where public opinion falls on this sort of thing these days.

Thanks for the in-put!

 

[N27murray]

I think its silly... Showering with gifts for a second time I mean. But to have a get together just to celebrate baby I guess isn't really a 'shower' so that's ok. What about a sip n see after baby is born then?
I know a few people having showers for their second child and I don't think its right....but that could be just an old fashioned view of course I think EVERY baby should be celebrated but a shower is more about giving to the parents.

 

[purplecupcake]

I think it's tacky.

 

[EmzyJA]

I think the idea of a get together sounds good, maybe like a summer BBQ and invite maybe partners and children too so it's my really the typical 'shower' maybe just a celebration instead? We don't really have baby showers here in the uk, although they're getting more and more common here. I had like a leaving meal type thing with work which was also a kind of baby shower, my best friend wants to organise a shower for me this time but I don't think I really want that. I wouldn't mind a nice BBQ in the summer with a gathering of friends but baby shower isn't really my sort of thing

 

[RinnaRoo]

My second is of a different gender and 4 years apart. My family would think it's off if I didn't have one.

 

[notmommyyet]

I dont agree with it. To me it doesnt matter how long or what gender. I will not be having one with this baby no matter what. I am against it. I think baby showers are a way for people to welcome you to becoming a mom. A celebration. After that its like saying "hey every baby I have people should buy me stuff".

 

[bellaxgee]

if my next one is a boy I will definitely have a baby "sprinkle" - just for some clothes and little boy things...we already have all of the big stuff!

 

[CastawayBride]

A baby sprinkle is one thing but another shower seems to be too much to me, different gender and all. BUT I think this really depends on opinion....

 

[cncem]

This is my third child, and I've never had a baby shower so I'll be having one. My best friend can't wait to throw me one. Who am I to deny her that, lol. Also, my children are from a previous relationship and this will be my husband's first child. I don't think it is tacky at all. If other people do, then they don't have to come.

 

[RinnaRoo]

Isn't someone else supposed to throw it for you?

 

[cncem]

Rinnaroo, do you mean me? No, my best friend is planning to throw one for me.

 

[RinnaRoo]

I mean like, in general. Isn't a friend or family member supposed to throw it for you? My sister is in charge of mine. So if someone is to offer a second shower for you, you would refuse? (you-anyone reading)

 

[Tigerlily01]

I think it's kinda tacky to have a second shower, but that's just my opinion. I have the same issue with virtual showers (I turned one down when someone offered to throw me one, even though this is my first and our family is spread out all over the country).

I think the idea of people stopping in to meet baby after the birth and maybe bringing some food is nice, though. Or a small celebration beforehand...it could be a BBQ or a potluck and just time to spend with friends/family before things get busy. But I don't think I'd ask for or expect gifts at something like that.

 

[Magsy]

I didn't want a second shower, but we moved and are now near my husband's family. They were too far away to be involved in or attend the shower for my daughter, so they're already planning a shower for this one. I'm hoping it'll be more of a 'sprinkle', but I wouldn't dream of turning them down. They would be terribly offended.

 

[Krippy]

I have never really believed in showers where people bring you gifts...I really don't get why other people should clothe your child and buy them things unless they are close family, etc. But I also don't judge people who have showers...If someone is throwing you a shower go for it and have fun.

My friends and family are throwing me a Blessing Way (belly henna, candles to light when I am in labour, etc.) before the baby and a Blessing Day to welcome baby afterwards. It will be very special and wonderful.

 

[Maybe1daysoon]

I think showers for 2nd children are extremely tacky. I wouldn't dream of having one even tho they have been offered. I have a HUGE family plus sorority sisters. My baby shower had over 60 women in attendance. If I had a shower/sprinkle and didn't invite those women and probably more there would be hurt feelings. I had literal truck loads of gifts (I STILL have baby lotion and shampoo 2 YEARS LATER LOL). I would feel TERRIBLE asking my loved ones to buy me more gifts even tho this LO is a girl. Honestly those that want too buy her stuff still will and already have. I will be having a holiday themed sip and see this time. Which I think will be loads of fun.
With all that said I think there are exceptions to every rule. 1.) Your children are 10+ years apart. (One of my cousins has 1 nine year old son and expecting a dd) I think she should have another shower. 2.) New relationship/marriage where it's partners first and HIS family is planning the shower and would be the only in attendance.

 

[Dinah93]

I might be having a shower this time. DD was 12 weeks early so we didn't get to celebrate last time and her birth felt like it was all fear rather than a happy event. If I make it far enough then I would love to have all my girlies around to celebrate as I haven't since my hen do. However we're in the UK so it's much more of a social event and less about the gifts, most people bring a cute babygrow or tiny toy rather than anything expensive. Mum and my best friend are in cahoots to plan something, but best friend doesn't return from travelling until I'm nearly 36 weeks and I just can't imagine making it that far!

 

[Rickles]

TBH - Showers are a fairly recent thing in the UK - a bit like Halloween, something that has crept over and got bigger and bigger...

I didn't have one with my first as I felt it was a bit cheeky getting mates to buy things for my baby (to order) and I hate fuss (I eloped - says it all!!)

However - the number of gifts we got after DD was born was insane!!! Mostly from OH friends who were all in another country and I think shocked and delighted he'd finally settled down (he was 40, they all had kids aged 5 plus and I think loved going baby shopping again )... So many of them weren't used - wrong size, wrong weather, duplicates - that I did think afterwards perhaps we should have given a registry list (from a UK supplier) to those generous folks. But even OH said he'd never anticipated such a response!!

Lots of my friends HAVE had them and I have been happy to contribute and come along. Usually around here, everyone chips in 5/10 quid and the organiser buys a decent size gift - playmat / moses basket / bouncer etc. and someone brings cupcakes etc. so it's not too OTT but a nice gathering and it saves buying a potentially unwanted gift once baby arrives.

So although somewhat converted, I would think someone was taking the piss if they had a second tbh - as one of the others said, for me, it's about celebrating becoming a mother and seeing all your girlfriends before you disappear into the first crazy 3 months of motherhood. Second time around I would think a get together is more appropriate.

If it's a family affair that is different, families can make all the fuss they want and I don't think that's imposing or being cheeky, it's just the way some families are!

 

[Unexpected212]

I wasn't going to have one as I felt rude as my son was only born October 2012 and felt cheeky

However all my friends and family have asked about one and said they'd really like me to throw one so I am It's really an excuse to get everyone together and have a nice time before the baby comes.

I've even said gifts are not necessary and it's more for the social gathering and even said on the invite I feel rude for throwing it but by popular demand I am lol!!!

I think it's because it's a girl this time and people are excited to buy pink and have a pink themed shower.

I don't think I'm being 'tacky' my friends and family want to celebrate this baby just as much as my son and wanted me to have a shower.

 

[Elizdia]

I actually don't understand the point of a baby shower at all. I'm from the UK so its not as common here but a lot of people are starting the trend in my area and i just don't get it. I know i'm being overly cautious but the baby hasn't arrived yet so how comes you celebrate it? Is it just purely for gifts? x