What do you think?--Baby Showers for Second Children

[Unexpected212]

Well mine wasn't just for 'gifts' It was like a little party. We had food, party games, lots of laughing and chatting about babies/childbirth. Got a lot of advice and insight and just had a good time with friends and family.

To me it was more like a pre birth party lol.

Also, after my son was born we didn't receive gifts as we'd already had them at the baby shower. If we hadn't of had the baby shower we still would have got the gifts we did. Just after he was born as congratulations presents.

 

[newbie1992]

I dont see it as tacky to have two baby showers, i would expect someone to have a baby shower each time they had a baby. i dont see it as celebrating becoming a mum i see it as celebrating the impending baby, its not all about presents, its about going and seeing all your friends, having some nice food and a good time and presents are just a small aspect.

I did used to think it was a bit tacky, being from the UK its not the norm just yet, but its growing on me and im looking forward to mine in a couple of months x

 

[CastawayBride]

I actually don't understand the point of a baby shower at all. I'm from the UK so its not as common here but a lot of people are starting the trend in my area and i just don't get it. I know i'm being overly cautious but the baby hasn't arrived yet so how comes you celebrate it? Is it just purely for gifts? x

It is to shower the mama to be, to share personal stories to laugh and be happy about the upcoming changes. Often your so blessed with gifts they help get everything you need for a nursery, but yes, this is mostly a US tradition.

 

[CastawayBride]

I mean like, in general. Isn't a friend or family member supposed to throw it for you? My sister is in charge of mine. So if someone is to offer a second shower for you, you would refuse? (you-anyone reading)

Yes, I have done just that. I mean, my circumstances are different and everyone thinks I am crazy not to have another but I was blessed to have one shower and everyone was WAY generous. That is enough for me. IF they want to do a sprinkle with coffee and cake, fine, but a whole other shower would be overboard and asking too much of my friends and family I feel....

 

[Meljenn]

My best friend had a second shower a year and a half after the first one and asked for the same things that we had already bought for her. I may be a bad friend because I didn't go because I felt it was rude to ask us to buy the same things less than two years later

 

[Unexpected212]

With both my showers I've said that gifts aren't necessary but people could bring them if they wanted too.

I know the idea of a baby shower is gifts but as people have said it's fairly new in the UK and most people I know had one more for the social side of it and party games/food/getting together.

 

[jessieJ24]

I live in the USA and I will be having another baby shower (MIL wants to throw me one). I guess it is much more common here then in the UK.

 

[Sunseal]

I didn't have a baby shower with my first, but I will be having a 'shower' with this one. I won't be expecting gifts and am seeing it as more of a 'get together' with friends (some of which I haven't had a chance to see for a while), have some fun, some nibbles etc. It's a different gender this time and I remember regretting not having a baby shower with my first, so why not have one this time round? A chance for a little celebration of a new impending little bundle of joy

 

[Zeri]

I don't think it's tacky, maybe a bit unnecessary, especially if the child is the same gender. If it's a different gender, though, I think there would be a real need for little things - like clothing. I like the idea of a baby sprinkle for a second baby of a different gender, actually. If the same gender - maybe just a 'get together' after the baby is born or something - with the focus on meeting/celebrating the new baby, not on gifts.

 

[PumpkinBump]

It's definately not tacky. When I was pregnant with my son we actually had 2 showers for him. One was a baby shower for the women friends. Got lots of gifts that i chose from my registry. And then a few weeks later we had a pamper party at the house, where a bunch of guys came over to drink and bbq and they each brought a package of diapers. We had so many diapers and gifts, it really really helped us out. Didnt have to buy diapers for a long time. If i have a girl this time, I will have both showers again (baby shower and a pamper party), but if its a boy, i will only have a pamper party since we have pretty much everything we need for boys.

I'm in the US though where baby showers are pretty common. I dont think ive ever had a pregnant friend that didnt have a baby shower. We all know when someone is pregnant to expect a baby shower. They are so much fun!

 

[bumpbear]

In our culture (South Asian) we don't have baby showers prior to birth but throw a party to celebrate the mother-to-be for every pregnancy and that might include a ceremony to bless the life of the growing baby. So its not just the first pregnancy that gets celebrated, it's all of them.

For my friends who aren't Indian, I have organised mommy-pamper-parties where we get together, have a good girls night, and buy our friend a small gift such as a pre-natal massage or manicure voucher so she can treat herself. No presents for the baby though - these come in abundance after the baby is born anyway off people's own backs, not off some kind of compulsion because they have been invited to a party! We have done small non-monetary things for the baby as an activity for that night, such as putting a words of wisdom book together for them, or making a book with stories and photos about their mom that they can read when they are older.

I find the concept of baby showers a bit odd to be honest but that might be because I am a British asian originally so its not something I am used to. Why do you need a party where you expect other people to help you get stuff for your own kid? Surely you should just get it yourself? Seems weird to me. But maybe I just don't get it culturally or something. :/

 

[PumpkinBump]

But maybe I just don't get it culturally or something. :/

Yes I think its a cultural thing. Here in the US we have wedding showers, housewarming parties, baby showers. All three you can register for to choose your own gifts (and getting gifts is pretty much the purpose). But in other countries i dont think people do this. My mom is from Asia and she thinks gift registries are weird.

 

[lilmonkey86]

I HATE BABY SHOWERS! there I said it..... I am dreading it... my mom, MIL and best friend are planning it. I hate people being forced to come celebrate me or my baby, it's my son and I can buy him his things. I have all his clothes already, way more than he even needs (which I bought), his crib is on it's way here, his dresser is on it's way, he has his toy trunk already in his nursery, which is completely ready for him, my parents are buying us the travel system as his welcome to the world gift (which I totally appreciate but do not expect) DH and I are very self sufficient and I hate the idea of people buying me things, especially things I have to open in front of everyone. AHHHH! I know lots of people that have baby showers and lots of people love going, I am not one of them, I hate going to them, and even more than that i hate having one thrown for me. I hated my bridal shower and i will hate my baby shower. Stupid Western Culture! that being said I dont think baby showers are ever tacky, they are just not my style.

 

[Rosered52]

Loving all the in-put, thank you, ladies! Definitely a geographical divide on this one. You've helped me consider this more thoroughly.

For the record, the point of baby showers (in my opinion), is to give your community a chance to be a part of this huge, momentous occasion with you, and to welcome your new life. Many people love thinking about new babies and what they will need, what will make life easier for the new parents, what made them happy as new parents. When I have bought a gift for someone and then I see the baby wearing it/hear about them using it later, I feel included and helpful in a way I couldn't otherwise be. The presents are a part of it, but not all of it. I actually think it can be a really beautiful tradition, but, as with anything else, it depends upon the attitude of the people involved. Nothing turns a person off quicker than entitled people who feel that you owe them something.

 

[fides]

For the record, the point of baby showers (in my opinion), is to give your community a chance to be a part of this huge, momentous occasion with you, and to welcome your new life.

this exactly.

I had a "shower" for DS2, but it wasn't the decorations/party games/big registry deal it was for DS1. It was a casual Saturday lunch at a restaurant with friends, hosted by my sister. Invitations said gifts not necessary - just a celebration of the new life - so i was so humbled and honored when people brought little gifts for my new baby anyway. It was really touching to me to have a few special things for DS2 that were bought or made just for him - a picture frame, a "little brother" outfit, a blanket, a new bib - those sorts of things.

I personally think every life is an amazing blessing to be celebrated, and having had two tough/colicky babies, I know I wouldn't have been able to enjoy myself at a come-and-see gathering after the birth. I was just thankful to have a nice lunch with some girl pals to chat about life and such. If someone offers to organize something like that for me this time, I'll gladly accept!

 

[CastawayBride]

I just found out they are planning me a shower at work. How ironic.

 

[rbourre]

I'm not planning on having a shower this time. I had 2 with my daughter (one with my family, one with hubby's family). I don't want a sprinkle either because to me it just seems like a baby shower. I went to one and she got tons of stuff just like at a shower. I think we are going to just have a little get together to meet the baby.

 

[impatient1]

We had a get together after dd2 was born and my SIL suggested that if anyone wanted to bring anything they are welcome to bring gifts but not necessary and a frozen meal would be graciously accepted.

 

[jamesmomma201]

I'm from a small town in Missouri, USA that I've lived in my whole life. I would have so many friends and family totally offended if they weren't invited to a baby shower. My SIL is already planning on having one for us. Around here tho we do something whether it's your 1st, 2nd or tenth child. Granted they usually aren't big extravagant events, just a little get together with cake, snacks and most guests do bring a little gift. I don't find it tacky at all, just a cultural norm where I am from.

 

[Selaphyna]

I had one with DS that was thrown by one of my best friends. It was very awkward, and hardly anyone came (I was 19). I got a few things, but the whole thing was depressing for me.

DS is now 11 years old, and I have nothing (and I mean nothing) from when he was a newborn/infant. No clothes, no child seat, no stroller, no crib, no pack'n play.

I'm not expecting anyone to throw me a shower now, but I wouldn't say no if someone insisted on throwing me one, especially since I have nothing.

As it is right now, I'm dreading buying everything as I have other bills I need to get caught up, and the hospital/doctor bills are starting to come in. Starting to get very overwhelming/stressful.