What has mc taught you for next pregnancy?

[Nat0619]

Hi Ladies

I've been thinking today how I'll feel when I get my next and what my mmc taught me. I came up with the following:

- I will not take about 15 HPTs to keep checking I am still pregnant! I now know that they stay positive even if pregnancy isn't viable I will take one or two and then leave it.

- I will listen to my intuition as I was convinced something was wrong all the way through despite having no signs of problems. Although saying this, I think I will be convinced something is wrong anyway now because of last time!

- The only thing that will convince me all is ok is a scan! I will most definitely be having an early one, in fact probably more than one early scan, whether I get it on NHS or have to pay privately.

- I feel like I may well not tell anyone other than OH until I've had an early scan next time as I don't want people getting excited until we've at least seen a heartbeat. Obviously this is still no guarantee of things working out, there is never a guarantee, but at least it will be further than we got last time.

- I want an early scan before any midwife appointment as do not want to go through all that discussion about 'where to have my baby', 'antenatal classes', etc until I know I have a viable baby this time. And I do not want to receive my maternity exemption certificate for free prescriptions and dental care and then have to send it back like I have done today

But despite all the worry I know there will be, I am desperate to be pregnant again

Good luck to all ladies TTC after a loss. We will get there girls x

 

[blueclo]

I am definitely with you on wanting an early scan before having a midwife appt- I sat all the way through midwife appointment thinking that no-one had even checked if the pregnancy was real, all I had done was a home test and that was it. I also had a feeling all along that something wasn't right yet I too had no signs of problems apart from backache, which I think was a really bad sign with hindsight. I also got my exemption card, round about the same time of my mc I don't want my bounty pack or magazines until much further along.

I will be an absolute wreck at a scan but will want one as soon as possible. I will be tempted to buy a doppler to hear a heartbeat as soon as physically possible so that I can get some reassurance at home. The flip side of this is failing to hear a heart beat and becoming even more concerned and paranoid.

I will try to stop all my superstitions as none of these helped me last time. I hope that we get a bfp soon. x

 

[Hutchess]

no early spending spree on baby stuff - i had miscarried before the goodies even arrived - they went straight in the 'not till after my successful scan' box

 

[Twinkl3]

I will not go out an buy several magazines about pregnancy and coo over them so much, nor will I get so stressed so easily about things that havent even happened (OH told me that).

I will also be having an early scan, the doctors told me go back at 7-8weeks and when I do I will be an emotional wreck! I had an incomplete M.C at 7.5wks so I will be well and truly shitting myself lol.

Oh and I will not be signing up to any baby groups to receive free things like last time for them to turn up two days after my M.C along with my pregnancy certificate!! EVIL!

 

[hellypops]

I will not let myself get so stressed out at work.I was in tears at work due to stress but pushed on as i didn't want to let my manager down.if i can't cope i will go sick.

I will also insist on an early scan.i was never completely at ease with this pregnancy like i was with my last,always convinced that something was wrong.

I will not let narrow minded,stupid people upset me.I may have an autistic child already but that does not mean I should not have another baby.

I will enjoy every aspect of being pregnant.I wont moan about nausea and swollen ankles! I won't ever take it for granted again.

I think when i do get my I will print this off and it can be my mantra

Good luck to all you lovely ladies.xxx.

 

[NGRidley]

I will not be letting people know until sell into 2nd Tri

I will be demanding an early scan - waiting until 20 weeks will not happen

I will not go to the ER again if I feel something is wrong. They were useless and they US doesnt even work (couldnt find my uterus - let alone anything else).

I will not be buying more stuff - I am still waiting for things to arrive

 

[LittleBird]

Well, I have thought I wouldn't let people know early, but as I have already had two kids, I don't think it will be easy to hide it. My body takes about 5 minutes to start looking pregnant.

I think one thing it has taught me is how much I really want another child to be part of this family. DH and I have not exactly planned any pregnancies up to now, both our boys were surprises. We love them more than anything. I think that a "surprise" child can be easier to deal with because it's too late to change your mind. Planning ahead for a baby means you do things (DTD) with the expectation that there will be a new LO in your family. The stress of ovulation, 2WW, etc., is something we were so naive about before, and it's true -- ignorance is bliss! Now that we have the experience of TTC for these past few months and the losses we've had, I know that once I get pregnant again there will be NO QUESTION in my mind that this is what I really want. Don't know if that makes sense to anyone else...

Most of all, knowing what I want for my family and wishing for another pregnancy so badly has taught me how lucky we are to have our boys and I am amazed that they have grown so much. And knowing that this is my last pregnancy has caused me to look at my own future differently. I see my family taking shape and I am excited for all the things that lie ahead.

 

[AEM1803]

I will not get my hopes up and I will not tell anybody except my immediate family..
When i first found out.. I was so excited and happy that i told my entire family.. Then i found out it was an ectopic and had to get emergency surgery.. and when i got home from surgery i already had cards and gifts from my family.. it was just another stab to my already broken heart

 

[mamadonna]

i will be phoning the epau straight away,the nurses who looked after me the last time told me just to get straight on to them for bloods/early scan.

like u nat i wont be taking test after test,as that didnt get me anywhere last time,i was still testing 3+ on a digi right till the end!

 

[cacahuete]

I found it really hard, after two mc, I thought the same, I won't get stressed, and I'd get lots of early scans... But I didn't, my body wouldn't seem to let me connect to it, I knew I was preg, but I was so scared of acknowledging it, all I did was eat right, and tried not to think about it, then I went for my first scan at nearly 10 weeks, and I was so scared, I didn't want to go in, and my husband had tears rolling down his face the whole time... Then I went for another scan 2 weeks later. Even tho we were told everything was fine, I still couldn't acknowledge I was preg, we only told people after the 20 week scan.. I hope you don't mind me writing on here, just wanted to let you know that your body will make you react the best way that will work for you, and your right, always trust your instinct!! I had gone to the hospital before I lost my second one, convinced that something was wrong, after waiting 4 hours they refused to scan me because I was just stressing from losing my first, and they sent me home, 3 days later I mc, your instinct is always right!

 

[mamadonna]

i kno what u mean i mmc 12 yrs ago and when i pg about 3 months later i was so scared to look at the screen,luckly everything was ok and went on to have a very healthy boy,but ur always scared to get to excited incase its all taken away from you again

 

[ceejie]

My doctor told me to go off work asap last time because my work environment could be unsuitable for pregnancy. While I have coverage, my boss made a stink about it so I didn't. Next time I am going off work the day I find out I am pregnant whether he likes it or not!

Also, I will insist on having my scan earlier. I didn't have mine til 10 weeks last time. I will be getting one sooner no matter how many doctors I have to go through to get it!

 

[tinkerbelle2]

not to tell a soul until at least first scan, I can't go through all the heartbreak of un-telling people again
To not look at pregnancy progress websites for a while, knowing what should be really isn't helping me
Not to sign up to email pregnancy weekly updates, some you can't unsubscribe from,

I do totally agree with everything in the OP!

 

[hulagirl]

I will not be telling anyone until after 12 week scan if not later apart from o/h and b/f as she has had 8 m/c and is fantastic.
I will not subscribe to any emails that i still am getting even after coming off mailing lists 6 weeks ago....
I will demand an early scan, not that it helped last time.
I will try to relax and appriciate every single minute of it
xx

 

[babyonmymind]

I will get a scan before making all the birthing and class decisions with a midwife

We will wait until after we hear the heartbeat, maybe until we find the sex of the baby to tell the family

I will not get so consumed with everything having to do with pregnancy and babies, ie blogs, magazines, articles, stores, books, at least not until we hear the heart beat

I will make a workout plan, hopefully this will help for all those mornings that I spent sleeping instead of working out, along with a healthy diet plan(fast food was just too accessible last time)

 

[babysimpson]

- I will not be testing until I have missed 2 afs.
- I will call EPAU as soon as I test and get booked in for early scan
- I will not be telling anyone (except on bnb) that I'm pregnant until after I have my 15 weeks scan (passing my biggest hurdle to date)
- I will not be obsessing over every little thing I eat and will try to carry on a normal routine if possible
- I WILL NOT be going to my GP but go to my midwife in EPAU instead (since GP told me I keep mc'ing because I'm too fat!)

 

[kerryinsussex]

I will not keep taking tests as I did last time.
Will not tell anyone apart from O/H, only told 2 close friends last time but will keep quiet this time.
Will not announce the news till at least the 12 wk scan, possibly later.
Will not sign up for the emails and baby sites as still getting post through about baby products.
I will ask about an early scan as this was mentioned at the hospital after I had ERPC.
Will try my hardest to get on with life as normal and not obsess to much about what I should and shouldn't be doing. I was off-roading the wkend before I found out I was expecting Dannielle and she was fine!

 

[Audraia]

Well after two miscarriages this time I will not tell anyone until after the first trimester.

The doctor will start me on progesterine as soon as I find out I'm pregnant.

I'm not going to the gym anymore, just lightly working out at home.

I will not overwork myself and lift heavy at work like I have both times.

I'm not going to get excited and plan anything until after the first trimester.

I just hope it doesn't happen again. The first time I was fine, these things happen...the 2nd time I really thought it would stick but was crushed and not wanting to try again. But I know it happens way too often, I'm going to be overly cautious next time!

 

[mamadonna]

i'm still getting weekly pregnancy updates too

 

[LittleBird]

Oh, Audraia, sorry for your losses. I hope the next one is super sticky for you!