What has mc taught you for next pregnancy?

[PugLuvAh]

I am going to try an not get so excited right away. We were trying almost a year, so it was hard not to be so happy and excited, but it is a LONG way to come down from. I am going to do my best to remind myself the first little while not to put every emotion I have into it. Easier said than done I am sure!!

We didn't tell anyone, not even family. I normally would have waited around 12 weeks, now I will likely wait 14 or 15 weeks, and even longer telling friends.

 

[ceejie]

- I WILL NOT be going to my GP but go to my midwife in EPAU instead (since GP told me I keep mc'ing because I'm too fat!)

Sounds like my GP, I'm 155 lbs at 5'5", while I might be a few lbs overweight I'm very active and definitely not at the point it should be causing any problems.

She also told me that maybe it just wasn't "God's plan" for me to have children and that I should stop worrying about it because if He wants me to have one I will have one, and if he doesn't I should just accept it. Sometimes I wonder about GPs....

 

[LittleBird]

Sounds like my GP, I'm 155 lbs at 5'5", while I might be a few lbs overweight I'm very active and definitely not at the point it should be causing any problems.

She also told me that maybe it just wasn't "God's plan" for me to have children and that I should stop worrying about it because if He wants me to have one I will have one, and if he doesn't I should just accept it. Sometimes I wonder about GPs....

Wow, I can't believe a doctor would tell you that it wasn't part of God's plan. That's really messed up! Sorry that you didn't get your GP's full support!

 

[PugLuvAh]

- I WILL NOT be going to my GP but go to my midwife in EPAU instead (since GP told me I keep mc'ing because I'm too fat!)

Sounds like my GP, I'm 155 lbs at 5'5", while I might be a few lbs overweight I'm very active and definitely not at the point it should be causing any problems.

She also told me that maybe it just wasn't "God's plan" for me to have children and that I should stop worrying about it because if He wants me to have one I will have one, and if he doesn't I should just accept it. Sometimes I wonder about GPs....

WTF!? What a horrible thing to say!!

 

[MRS_HJO]

*I have learned that I am not in control, God is. If I were in control, I would be in my second trimester right now with a healthy baby.

*I have learned that no one needs to know I'm pregnant the next time around until I am out of the first trimester. It is something that my husband and I should share together in secret and really try enjoy it.

*I have learned that I do NOT need betas done to find out my HcG levels. It will not prepare me for the worst, and there is nothing I can do to change the worst outcomes, so ignorance is bliss.

*I have learned to enjoy my next pregnancy, not be such a stress-ball, because that is in no way good for the baby or me.

I'm sure there is more, but that's all I can think of right now. Thanks for posting this thread. I have thought many, many, many times about what my m/c has taught me, and it's nice to finally put it in words.

 

[Nat0619]

Babysimpson and Ceejie, I cannot believe what your GPs said to you! How dare they either call you fat or say God doesn't mean you to have children Some people are seriously missing a sensitivity chip!!

I thought my GP was bad when he said to me when I went to confirm I was pregnant "oh, do take very good care of yourself, you're over 35 so the risks are very high, risk of miscarriage is 1 in 3". Talk about making me feel old and useless as a woman - I am well aware that I am 36 and that is a higher risk, I don't need reminding of my age thank you! No wonder I worried so much throughout the pregnancy. But then again he was obviously right as I did have a mc But I will not look forward to going to him with another , he'll probably say "I told you so. You're just too old"

x

 

[ebaz]

Hi ladies

I also will not tell anyone until well past first trimester next time, I was so excited last time, plus it was Christmas and people would realise I wasnt drinking we told everyone. I was 9/10 weeks when I found out, but having to tell everyone less than 2 weeks later we had lost it was awful.

I also knew deep in my heart that something was wrong....I said to my mum on more than one occassion 'I dont feel pregnant' which because I had never been before she said I was 'being silly'.....but I knew.

I also wont buy Baby name books, or any baby related books.....they are still in my wardrobe and when I catch a glimpse of them it reminds me...or sign up to websites for discount products -I'm still receiving them through the post, which hurts.

My cousin had a mc a few months before me and both our mums have said they are glad that in the 'olden days' you didnt know at such an early stage but with todays 'technology' we get heartbroken so easily.

good luck to all of you

 

[TraceC]

I guess we won't be telling the world untill we are past the first tri stage. We will tell our parents, as both of our mums have suffered more than one loss, my mum even had a son who passed two hrs after he was born.

I didn't really buy anything, but my Dh and my Mum went crazy, we have half a nursery set up, so next time we will hold off till 2nd tri. I like the nursery though. I can walk in there and see all the clothes and shoes, moses cot change table etc, yeah sometimes I get upset but it reminds me that I can get pregnant.

I think next time I will resign from work straight away. There is nothing else I can chane, I had a wonderful pregnancy, no morning sickness ( which could be due to baby not being healthy)

 

[PieMistress]

Even if I get past 12 weeks I won't tell anybody until it becomes to glaringly obvious not too.

Will have absolutely no coffee or caffiene fizzy drinks (only had one cup of coffee a day before but you never know if it might have been a contributing factor so for my mental health will totally abstain!)

Healthy, healthy diet where-ever possible

Won't make booking in appt with midwife until 8w+

Keep chanting 'I am pregnant, my body can do this, I am pregnant, my body can do this'

!!

 

[Tweak0605]

* I will not tell anyone until after the first trimester, except for a couple close friends. My best friend and a close friend who went through the same experience. They've been incredibly supportive throughout this whole thing, and I can't imagine not telling then when I get pregnant again.

* I will listen to my intuition. I had a feeling something was wrong, but pushed those thoughts out of my head.

* I will push for an early ultrasound if I really want one. My doctor does one at 18-20 weeks, unless there's something wrong. If I had an early ultrasound at 8 weeks, we would've found out then, instead of waiting 2 more weeks to find out, then 2 more weeks for the D&C.

 

[jamhs]

I won't be telling any one but dh and our parents and I will want an early scan again, before midwife etc. I'll also try not to stress as I had two healthy pregnancies before so I know I can carry to term but I also know I'll be scared the whole time too! Will also listen to my gut feelings, because I just knew something wasn't right. I even prayed that it wasn't happening when I started to bleed and got an overwhelming feeling that He couldn't stop what had already happened and felt really calm but still upset, so I will be doing a lot of praying next time too.

 

[JJo777]

Hi Ladies. Good thread.

I will not work-out so hard. I will allow myself to rest if I feel tired.

I will insist on early u/s for peace of mind.

I will not go maternity shopping until I can't fit into anything I own.

I will not google pregnancy sites daily.

I will not stress out if my boss looks at me funny and suspects I may be pregnant.

I will accept that my body will change and try not criticize every new lump and love handle.

Thanks for letting me share!

 

[greeneyes0279]

Hi Ladies!

I WILL NOT announce the pregnancy until 2nd tri.

I will have more than 1 scan in the 1st tri even if I have to book private ones.

I will definitely be getting a doppler so I don't walk around for 2 weeks with a dead baby inside me thinking everything is ok.

I will never ever get another flu shot when pregnant. My ob convinced me it was ok. Baby passed days after but didn't find out till 2 weeks later.

 

[LWood]

Ladies, What is this "doppler" you speak of?

 

[greeneyes0279]

Ladies, What is this "doppler" you speak of?

It's a machine that ob's use to hear the baby's heartbeat. You can rent them or buy them.

 

[LWood]

Ladies, What is this "doppler" you speak of?

It's a machine that ob's use to hear the baby's heartbeat. You can rent them or buy them.

Oh Wow ty. Are they expensive?

 

[kiki04]

For me I know I wont be telling anyone for a long time. I cant put my kids through this again as it was very hard on them. As far as waiting for a scan, that means nothing to me as I lost mine at 16w6d and had seen the HB on a scan previously. I had a tummy and was 3 days away from finding out the gender. I know I wont be working as hard cuz right now I work a fulltime job in administration for the government and also a part time as a home support worker for child and family services. I have 4 days a month I dont work so when I get my bfp I will be quitting my part time so I have more downtime for sure. I will be going for more private scans and I know that. My babies HB stopped at 14.5 weeks so even waiting until the 2nd tri means nothing to me. I am only going to say something to people once I cant hide it any longer and that makes me really sad because that should be exciting news we should WANT to share, but I will be too scared too

 

[want2bemommy]

Good advice ladies!
Audraia- I'm in the same boat as you- I've had 2 m/c and felt the same emotions with both. Now I'm scared as well but ready to start trying again.
My advice- don't let the m/c scare you into holding off trying. See my ticker? It's been over year and a half since my last m/c. I couldn't face another so I ignored my utter desire to be a mom. I will not stop now until I have a baby in my arms =)

 

[lilrojo]

Love all your comments.. I will not take being pregnant or my daughter I have right now for granted.. ever... I have also had 2 mcs.. and have made an appt with a dr that is more pro life.. best decision I have ever made. He is running tests and making sure everything is ok.. my first loss was at 12 weeks and second was last monday at 5 weeks.. I will tell family after my 12 week scan, as an early scan wont matter to me either.. saw hb with first mc baby.. I will be happy and relaxed and not worry over every little thing..

Good luck to you all.. we all deserve our forever babies..

 

[babysimpson]

Greeneyes - I was given the swine flu meds for pregnant women when I was expecting my twins and my second twin died within a few days (1st one had died a few weeks beforehand). I've sworn never to take any meds no matter what the GPs, etc recommend. Tests on my twin showed that they were perfectly healthy and couldn't find cause of death but I maintain that it was the meds.