What's your honest opinion on people on benefits?

[KatelynsMummy]

Not read through it all but heres my opinion..
Im on benefits, my OH no longer lives with me so they class me as a single mother... It gets me through what I need but in my current situation, i am better off on benefits than getting a job. Even though I want to work, they have told me that I dont have to work until my LO is 3 years of age. Im trying to find a job as it is, but I will have to pay for childcare, which will make me worse off, so I need to find a job that pays enough for me to live off BUT pays little enough for me to get help with paying for childcare as it is so damn expensive.

In my honest opinion, i dont think benefits should pay so much. My friend gets £700 a month on benefits because she cannot be bothered to work. People like that should be knocked down to 200 or less so they have no choice but to work.
I hate it when I see people, outside the job center with a crate of beer and smoking god knows what. They should not be allowed to claim anything and should work and earn money to buy the beer and fags.
Whereas people who loose their jobs like my OH did when I was pregnant, should get help to put them on until they find a new job.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I end up on my high horse when i talk about this... (please note, i am mainly on about people who dont bother there butts at finding a job and 'choose' to live off benefits)

In my family, our saying is "we will shift shit if it puts food on our table, clothes on our backs and a roof over our heads"Thats the way i have been brought up and i always will feel that way.

I went throgh depression when i was 16 and was very unwell especially when my partner at the time died. I wasd on DLA and income support for 7months. I then found a course called CCP and with in 6 weeks i got my job.

There are millions on jobs out there, people just are too picky at times. If you go on the sector 1 website there are soo many for all different trades. Were i work are taking on but they got such a poor response yet where i live it has one of the highest levels of unemployment in the UK.

I saw on the fairy jobmother that the goverment is going to make people earn their benefits and i think that is an AMAZING idea... Why should they just sit there and recieve when i have to work full time to get around about the same amount of money. It makes me laugh when people say they don't get employed because they have work experience... there are plenty of voluntary job possitions where people can get expierence.

If in some cases, genuine people who have lost there job find it hard to get a job then i seriously feel for them but sadly thats a minority.

What really gets me is when people say there child had 'x y or z' so they can get benefits. If your child has ADHD or something similar, what extra money do you need? Genuine question (not a dig)

Also, i understand caring for someone is a job in its self, but wouldnt they benefit from going to work for the 16hours a week just for a break (and getting professional carers in) but to also keep them in the earning mode as when that person no longer requires care, they may find it very hard to get back into working.

Are you serious?

We get higher rate DLA and extra tax credits and we use it all too! M's needs cost us so much more every week. They also help me out because it means I am not forced into work because I am his carer.

His DLA pays for Taxis (if he wont walk, mainly if its sunny or if he was up all night) its not a case of wont walk, he has been known to break his toes to get out of walking!

Extra food and his special diet (gluten free) This adds about £45 extra to the weekly shop.

It pays for his swimming lessons, karate and an hour in the sensory room at weekends.

Extra electric, extra gas in winter.

Thats pretty much the DLA spent.

We have had to fund so much ourselves just to make live actually livable. Its not easy. Its far from bloody easy. I would question anyone who does not think ADHD and ASD does not cost more to come and spend a week in my shoes. (doubt you would make it!)

 

[trgirl308]

Social assistance where I live is very controversial. It is provincially regulated, so it is different in every province in Canada. But in Quebec it is a cheque on the 1st of the month. Roughly 560$ per month. Really nothing to live off of. But they have medication, childcare, eye care and dentist etc included, so it isn't that bad. However I agree that it should be available when ppl need it, but where I live there are entirely too many ppl who profit from it. They take the cheque and then work under the table so they can buy their alcohol and ipods and iphones... and of course since they don't pay any tax why would they want to get a real job? I think social assistance should be available, but be more restrictive and have more options in place to get ppl back to work within a reasonable timeframe. I have ppl who come in days after their 18th birthday (with their parents) to open a bank account just to show proof that they have a zero balance so they can start to get their welfare cheque... that is really sad.

Another issue in our area is ppl who beg on the streets, they are not always drugged up or drunk, they are often just quick learners that a tax-free living is better. I estimate on a busy street if they get money from 1 out of 20 ppl that pass by, and that person gives them 1$ then they are looking at 40,000$ per year tax free. (which works out to more than I make and I get off my butt everyday and go to a job!) So forgive me if I am not very sympathetic.

Sorry for my rant, to conclude social assistance is a necessary part of a developped society, but because it is my tax $ at work, I would like to see it operate more efficiently and effectively for the good of society. just my opinion, absolutely nothing against ppl who are on it for short periods during times of distress etc, that is what it should be for.

 

[Natsku]

The amounts are very generous here but the cost of living is horrendous (most expensive country in Europe apparently). We get 490e unemployment (OH) 440e parental leave (me) 164e rent support, 100e child benefit, then welfare kicks in a couple hundred or so depending on what medical/electrical bills we have that month. On paper that looks like a hell of a lot of money (something like 1500 a month) but it still leaves us absolutely broke at the end of each month.

 

[KittyVentura]

Well you asked for honesty...

I grew up the child of a single mum on benefits. We sometimes went without food and electricity... but she ALWAYS had booze, cigarettes and weed. I was bullied because I went to school in dirty, holey, old and unfashionable clothes.

I lived on a typical council estate and back then (I left 10 yrs ago and it was like this then but may have changed now) it was FULL of other mothers, like my mum. They all had LOTS of children with different men. They all had smelly (I was too), dirty, untidy children... but always managed to have weed and drink etc too.

I would frequently hear conversations where a mother would realise her older child is nearing an age 16 (when benefits normally stop) and they would look to get pregnant again, even when not in a relationship, so that they would keep their benefits when the first child left etc. I'm sure lots were loved, but lots did seem to be concieved to keep the mother in booze and fags.

My close friend was even advised by her own mum to "just get pregnant and get yourself a council house".

As a result of my experience and upbringing... I have a rather negative view of those on benefits. I always try not to judge and I think those that are situations like the OP and need benefits, are quite right in claiming them... but when it comes to those that aren;t trying to work, that just claim benefits because they are marginally better off that way... yes I do have an opinion and it isn't great. But I think it would be impossible to have been brought up in the environment I was, and to have seen the things I have seen, without having a negative view xx

I don't know what to say after reading that I can't believe you went through something like that, its a great thing that you've risen above it and are giving your son all that you missed out on growing up

You are very sweet chick. I don't share that for sympathy though. I just wanted to make it clear that I have reasons to feel how I do.

I think they wired me wrong. Honestly I never smoked or wanted to do drugs. Knuckled down at school without encouragement and worked my way through college. From leaving I worked constantly until I gave up work in June to be a SAHM (Ian funds this soley). I left that council estate when I was 17 and vowed to never live on one again. What I saw never made me want that life. I just wanted out. I was probably the only tramp (hobo?) that was also a massive snob.

Sadly most of those girls I grew up with have just repeated the pattern and and now versions of their own mothers xx

 

[Natsku]

It is really sad that many children follow in their parents' footsteps when it comes to living off benefits long term. I really hope that we will be off them by the time Maria is old enough to ask questions about where we get our money as I'd really want her to learn to earn her money.

 

[moomin_troll]

angelandbump

obviously you have no idea what ur talking about. god help u if u have a child with a mental illness seen as u have no idea what type of care some of them need.

my mum is still my brother carer and hes 29 and mentaly ill so she needs the carers allowence she gets to look after him

also you have to have more then adhd to get "extra" benifits i think, my oh had adhd not as bad as some have it and he didnt need special care where as my brother does

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I was going to say does the post saying about ADHD even know what it is?? You cant just GET dla, you have to have notes, documents etc. They dont just hand it out.

 

[moomin_troll]

I was going to say does the post saying about ADHD even know what it is?? You cant just GET dla, you have to have notes, documents etc. They dont just hand it out.

who knows but it doesnt sound like it!
the benifit system gets on my nerves at the best of times but it really gets my goat when people question parents getting so called extra money when they have a mentaly ill child.
if they can even question it then they obviously have no clue what its like to live with a special needs person. and if u want the right care and education that costs money with them going to the right schools ect

let alone my mum was always replacing things that my brother would just randomly take apart that a "normal" person wouldnt do.

its not easy looking after someone with special needs and i think people who think it is needs a day in the life of a mother who does.

my oh had mild adha and at times that was hard enough to cope with as he couldnt just sit down and have a conversation.

rant over lol

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I believe benefits are there to support those in need.

What really gets me is when people say there child had 'x y or z' so they can get benefits.

angelandbump- As a student childrens nurse I can assure you that those parents that recieve DLA for their children very much need it. Children with a physical,mental or learning disabilities do need a lot of extra support, equipment and adaptions to help them with their day to day lives. Lets take autism for example, autistic children often struggle with new situations/people, they like routine and they struggle in social situations. So something as simple as taking a bus can be a nightmare for a parent with an autistic child. The new surroundings and masses of new people can cause that child to become very distressed. So to avoid that parents like Midnight fairy get taxi's, not because she can't be bothered to get a bus but because she wants to protect her son's emotional well-being. In addition certain acitivities can be very theraputic for children e.g. swimming. So some parents will take their children to special swimming groups with other children that have learning disabilities. Again it costs money to pay for the group, special equipment that child may need and transport.
An example of a physical disbility is a child I have cared for with a tracheostomy. The child's parents have to carry an oxygen tank, spare tubing, suction machine,medication and a first aid kit everywhere they go. This equipment is heavy and a lot to carry. The child has to stay in hospital every night due to their age and until the parents are ready to care for their child at home. Part of the process of preparing the family for caring for the child at home is short be frequent visits to the home during the day,gradually increasing the time until they are ready. This requires going backwards and forwards to the hospital daily with the child and all the equipment. It would be virtually impossible to do this on a bus with the equipment let alone the infection risk. So they would get taxi's daily which would cost about £15.00 a day. The mother didn't work because she had to care for this child, therefore she was soley reliant on benefits, which is pittance especially when caring for a disabled child. These parents don't choose to have children with additional needs but these children are amazing and their parents are too. I admire how children take it in their stride and how parents cope with the extra stesses and worries every day of their lives. What I have described is just a tiny insight into the lives of parents and children with additional needs. Every penny they get is very much needed and they are excalty why the benefit system is there

 

[indy and lara]

Firstly I want to say (before I get jumped on) that I fully support DLA for parents who have a child who has additional needs. It helps people reduce working hours, pays for things which SHOULD be funded centrally but people have to pay out of their own pockets, fund extra activities etc.

However, I have experienced parents who have got the relevant forms filled by GPs and who then need me as the class teacher to fill in parts of these forms to support their application and they are exaggerating and lying on the form. It puts me and our school in a very difficult position when we don't go along with filling them in but have to keep working with the parent. An example was a parent whose 10 year old did wet at night and had some health issues- she claimed that this was a problem at school too but it wasn't. Sadly some people are always out to get what they can, even if they are not truly eligible.

In angelandbumps defence, if you do not have experience of children with ASN you probably don't understand why parents need extra financial support. She did say it was a genuine question. Worth us all remembering that unless we educate people, the myths surrounding ASN will continue.

 

[Tegans Mama]

What about mothers caring for their children and living on benefits? How do u feel about that? Is that similar to a carers allowance do u think? As they are 'caring' for someone who cant care for themselves.

Just curious as to peoples opinions? Or do u think the child should be put in childcare and the mother work??

I dont think its similar to carers allowance, no. You pick to have children, people don't pick to get ill.

I try to avoid threads like this because I always feel "picked on". Neither me nor my OH work, because we don't have the time... and I am deadly serious when I say that. Tegan has 3 hourly catheters around the clock (yes, overnight too). She has to be moved every two hours over night to prevent bed sores. She uses a wheelchair full time. We have FOUR hospital appointments next week. Last time she was ill she was in hospital 13 days, with a UTI. When she was first born she was in hospital eight weeks. I could wake up tomorrow to find her extremely ill, she could be admitted to hospital and stay there for six months...

Honestly, people who judge the parents of disabled kids for not working really really bug me. I would work if I could. It is NOT a feasible option for me. She starts preschool three hours a day in September, should I go to work then? Even though I will be going in at 9am, doing her catheter, and back for 12pm to do her catheter again and take her home? When she is four, she MIGHT go to school fulltime. That won't change the amount of appointments we have though

IMO, no offence to other parents, being a parent is a world apart from having a disabled child.

P.S Blah/Shananboc this isn't aimed at either at you, I quoted it because the question was "is being a parent the same as being a carer." The answer is an absolutely massive humongous NO.

 

[moomin_troll]

i agree Tegans mama having a child who is disabled is alot harder then being a parent in general. growing up with my brother might be the reason i no im so lucky with zane being such a easy laid back child.

the way u look after tegan is a full time job in itself and would be alot for just 1 person to take on, so again i understand why u are ur oh both do not work.

i think peoples lives as carers would be made so much easier if help was funded like nurses to help during the day atleast

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Its also about time but also stress. M is at school full time but I am so bloody stressed right now it would not be a benefit to me or him for me to work. He is currently changing up to junior school. Its so bloody stressful, I have had meeting after meeting after meeting!

I spend some days in tears as its so frustrating. There is no way in hell that I could work right now. The holidays are coming up to so not worth it!

Also, I didnt have any input to my school on the DLA forms. I filled in my bit which is the standard form and everyone else did the rest. I never really know what the school wrote or what the doctors wrote but it had input from 6 different professionals on it? It took 23 weeks of stress again so I would never go through that if I didnt have too!

 

[Poppeteer]

Tegans mama..... Wow...... Just wow.

Absolutely, no way, could I or anyone else ever judge you for not working.... The care and time you take over your daughter is over and above what a working parent.... Or any parent does. You have my utmost respect.

God, your post makes me feel so bad for moaning over our lo waking in the night now

 

[Laura2919]

The benefit system was there as a safety net and is now there for lots (not all, I stress) to abuse. Sometimes that issue is what frustrates me. Working when you have children isnt that hard and it can be done. I understand that some people cannot work but there are lots that can and choose not to.

 

[Laura2919]

What about mothers caring for their children and living on benefits? How do u feel about that? Is that similar to a carers allowance do u think? As they are 'caring' for someone who cant care for themselves.

Just curious as to peoples opinions? Or do u think the child should be put in childcare and the mother work??

I dont think its similar to carers allowance, no. You pick to have children, people don't pick to get ill.

I try to avoid threads like this because I always feel "picked on". Neither me nor my OH work, because we don't have the time... and I am deadly serious when I say that. Tegan has 3 hourly catheters around the clock (yes, overnight too). She has to be moved every two hours over night to prevent bed sores. She uses a wheelchair full time. We have FOUR hospital appointments next week. Last time she was ill she was in hospital 13 days, with a UTI. When she was first born she was in hospital eight weeks. I could wake up tomorrow to find her extremely ill, she could be admitted to hospital and stay there for six months...

Honestly, people who judge the parents of disabled kids for not working really really bug me. I would work if I could. It is NOT a feasible option for me. She starts preschool three hours a day in September, should I go to work then? Even though I will be going in at 9am, doing her catheter, and back for 12pm to do her catheter again and take her home? When she is four, she MIGHT go to school fulltime. That won't change the amount of appointments we have though

IMO, no offence to other parents, being a parent is a world apart from having a disabled child.

P.S Blah/Shananboc this isn't aimed at either at you, I quoted it because the question was "is being a parent the same as being a carer." The answer is an absolutely massive humongous NO.

I couldnt imagine going to work and doing what you do, there wouldnt be any time and having to get up in the night so many times would also take its toll.

The benefit system is in place to help people like yourself and your family but then you get people who abuse that and thats why there is such a bad name around it. Its those that need a kick up the arse. Not you

 

[sequeena]

Due to illness my partner had to drop from his manager position which earned about £18,500 per annum to 30 hours staff which is just under £13,000 per annum. We never received any benefits before but now we have just over £37 a week tax credits which is so helpful and will receive our first housing benefit cheque on friday which is about £80 a month. I'm so thankful for it. We private rent and realised we could not afford to pay £515 each month by ourselves anymore. We tried to find cheaper accomodation which didn't go to plan and I didn't realise how hard it was to get council housing.

People on benefits don't bother me... We all need to live, but I am annoyed when it's obvious they think these benefits are a right they should have and not a safety net for when things in life change unexpectedly.

 

[Natsku]

I think benefits are a right, thats the whole point of them. Doesn't mean you should abuse them obviously, but means you should never be ashamed to take them when you need them.

Here, the right to benefits is even written into the constitution - "The state and the municipality of residence have to guarantee preconditions for a life with human dignity in situations in which one’s own resources do not suffice"

 

[sequeena]

No I mean people who specifically go for benefits instead of work because they think it's their right to have them even though they are capable of working. I don't mean right as in human right.