What's your planned parenting style?

[aob1013]

I don't think you know what 'type' of parent you will be until your LO is here. We practice 'Attachment Parenting i.e - demand breastfeeding until self weaning, co-sleeping, baby wearing, responding immediately and lovingly to LO's needs, BLW, just everything baby led.

I think people have a common misconception that this 'type' of parenting develops a clingy and needy child, while i believe it creates a trusting, independant, happy child. I've been brought up around it, and it has worked for my family.

 

[Justagirlxx]

I do parent-directed feeding. It is the happy medium between demand feeding and hyper scheduling. Basically I dont just feed him every single time he cries if I know its not time for him to eat yet (ie. If he's crying and he just ate 1 hour ago... I trouble shoot to find out what else could be wrong.. diaper change, too hot, too cold, wants a cuddle, etc) I go to him every time he cries, I dont let him cry it out because he doesn't cry for no reason; I put him down before he is asleep when he starts giving me sleepy cues that its time for a nap. Now that I've established this he has settled into his own routine led by me. He sleeps in 4 hours blocks through the night already and has a very predictable 3 hour eat/wake/sleep schedule throughout the day. He sleeps peacefully in his bassinet by himself. It really is absolutely amazing and I am so happy I have done this. After a week of demand feeding and being absolutely exhausted, pretty much ready to throw myself off a cliff, with a very unhappy baby that cried constantly, this has been an amazing transformation. I recommend reading "Baby Wise - giving your infant the gift of nighttime sleep" if you want to understand more about the type of parenting I'm following. Its the best thing I've ever done for myself and my child!

 

[rubyloo]

i've read lots of books and listened to all sorts of advice (including from my mum who's had a few! haha!) and DH and i have talked various things through. from my point of view i see a baby as an individual with its own set of needs and personality traits, even from birth. i am very keen to create an environment where it can develop as an individual and also to be independent. this might sound a bit weird for a newborn, but as a teacher i see on a daily basis the results of 'helicopter parenting' where the child is never free from some level of parental interference.

anyway, i'm hoping to breastfeed. regardless there will be a level of routine established after the initial few days primarily because DH will be back at work full time after his two weeks off and yes, having a baby is exhausting in the early days, but his sanity and ability to earn are vital for us all! we are planning to have the baby in our room to begin with esp the first two weeks while feeds are being sorted, but soon after it will be in the nursery which is right next to our room anyway. life in the house will go on as 'normal' - washing, using the vac, taking calls etc as its important the baby gets used to 'life' it all its glorious noise and bustle! we are keen that it will join us in our various activites too - hill walking and the like - and have purchased a decent carrier for this purpose.

boundaries are going to be set; no is a word we will use and it will mean no, not ok, if you keep on at me i'll finally give in to what you want. manners and respect will be part of the agenda - again, my life as a teacher has taught me that these things are instilled from a young age and if they are not reinforced in the home envirnoment, there's bugger all we can do about it in the classroom! within all of this though will be lots of love, support and freedom.


btw this is my first so all my plans will prob fly out the window the minute it arrives! i am nothing if not a realist.....

 

[Sophist]

Thanks sophist!! whats the benefit of this???? surely itd make them more clingy??x

It's supposed to make the baby feel secure & happy, cry less, and be confident enough in knowing his/her parents are available that he will have a secure attachment--the opposite of clingy.

My babies didn't like being in the sling, but we did hold them a ton and they def. weren't clingy as toddlers.

 

[Tanikit]

I never read up on parenting styles so I just know what I did with the last one. I breastfed her til she was 26 months old - all demand feeding except when she got older I would tell her no if we were out and it wasn't convenient. She didn't want to be in a sling but I did carry her around a lot. She slept with us for the first six months and then went into her cot but since she'd wake in the night and it was winter she basically landed up co-sleeping for half the night. This one we plan on having in our room also for the first six months - whether I will breastfeed depends on whether I can this time or not and also on how my DD responds to it as I need to be able to look after her also and can't be breastfeeding every half hour like sometimes happened with DD.

DD didn't need much of a routine and seems to cope fine without much of one. I know some children do better with a strict routine so will see how the family dynamic works and what works for all four of us. Its not that we have no routine, but its rather relaxed compared to some parenting techniques.

I will try different things and figure out what works for the baby and the whole family.

 

[Eve]

I don't think you know what 'type' of parent you will be until your LO is here. We practice 'Attachment Parenting i.e - demand breastfeeding until self weaning, co-sleeping, baby wearing, responding immediately and lovingly to LO's needs, BLW, just everything baby led.

I think people have a common misconception that this 'type' of parenting develops a clingy and needy child, while i believe it creates a trusting, independant, happy child. I've been brought up around it, and it has worked for my family.

 

[Tanikit]

aob1013 - I don't think my DD would ever have self-weaned. Even 4 months after I had stopped breastfeeding her (ie she was 30 months old) she would still occasssionally ask for it. She will be 3.5 years old by the time this one is born and I have a feeling if I were to let her she would still breastfeed from me when there is milk again - I am not going to even suggest or allow it though. She is not clingy at all though, goes happily to preschool, is often very independent and won't let me help her with many things. I am not quite sure what breastfeeding meant or still does mean to her. But as her mother and this being my body, I can also make some decisions for myself which also take her into consideration and I feel its best she doesn't restart the breastfeeding.

 

[FlatShoes]

• LO will sleep in a moses basket next to my bed
• I will feed on demand - although maybe try and increase times between feeds after the first 8/10 weeks
• If baby cries i'm sure someone will pick him/her up!
• I want to breastfeed for as long as possible, going down to just a night-time feed once baby is on solids

This could totally all change once baby arrives!

 

[emsie]

I have absolutely no clue!

 

[RockyMtnMama]

I would like to do the attachment parenting too. We plan on cosleeping, baby wearing, and breastfeeding on demand (I hope!). After they're 6 months old or so, I may try to amend once they're a little more mature.