When will I get past this feeling? :(

[sparkle23]

I am only 13 weeks, but at our 12 week scan it was quite obvious that we are having a little boy (I know it still might not be, but it was quite obvious).
I have an 8yo boy already with my ex, and this is my first baby with my husband. All 3 of us (me, my husband, and my son) wanted a girl. I really thought it would be. I am shocked, and angry at myself for feeling disappointed.
There will be a 9 year age gap between my son and this one, so it isn't like they will be able to fully bond like brothers who are close in age. That's why I thought a sister would be better since she would be so much younger.
Plus, I just always thought I would be a good mum to a daughter because I understand females better. I just don't understand males, and now there will be 3 males and me, and I always feel like there is this gap I can never cross with them, like I could with a daughter.
I hate the fact that I feel this way because our baby is so very healthy, and we are so lucky! I have had a lot of trouble with fertility including a long time TTC my son, plus a few losses, plus I know there are so many people who can't even get pregnant with ONE, let alone care what gender they are...

I am hoping someone else understands and/or has some advice?

Thanks so much.

 

[motherofboys]

Firstly what your feeling is so normal, each of us in here have felt this an many of the people in 2nd tri who haven't come across to here have mentioned feeling similar.
I felt awful for being so hung up on this babies gender. It took us 2 and a half years to get pregnant this time and I felt I should just be greatful to be having a baby at all. But after 3 boys I really wanted a girl.
Everything about this pregnancy has been so different from my other 3 which were all pretty much the same. My 12 week scan revealed a very convincing boy nub, but I clung to the hope it was wrong. Looking on line for pictures to compare mine to that turned out to be girls. When I finally let go and started to just accept that it would be a boy, I felt so much better. At 16 weeks I found out I am indeed having my 4th boy and I was fine. I have since had a few down days, early after we found out. But by the time I went for my 20 week scan I was feeling much better and now at 27 weeks I am so happy to be having another boy and so excited.
Some people the relief comes from finding out one way for the other, it was the guessing and hoping that drove me mad, for other people it doesn't come until their baby is in their arms and they get that first rush of love. And there are a few people who don't get it until they have had a chance to bond and realize that this is the baby they were meant to have, sent to them for a reason.
I don't know if it ever does completely go away for some people, that little pang of what if, but I know that they would never change the children they do have, and find peace with their family.
For some theres the option to try again and even sway for the gender they want.

 

[Dream.dream]

Don't know if this is helpful but at 12 week scan all babies boy or girl looke like boy because they have a genital nub that doesn't turn male or female until sometime in the 13th weeks. So there is still hope