where/how/when to start again (after mc no 1)?

sowanted

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Hi all.

I'm kind of new here. Dropped into the miscarriage support board last Thurs (9+1) when I noticed some light brown discharge. Revisited boards as I bled all Easter weekend. No baby will be coming in November.

As I think ahead, I'm just not sure where or how to start 'trying again' and am hoping maybe some of you might have some advice or experience to share.

This was my first pregnancy and very much wanted. I'm 41 next month. Feeling hopeful but also realistic. And want to be smart about it, given how difficult it can be, time pressure, etc.

Do I need to 'wait' before trying again? And if so, what am I waiting for exactly?

Do I just go to a specialist now and try to get answers to what happened?

In my teens and 20s I had awful periods. Just awful. Very susceptible to hormone peaks (menstrual migraines involving aura and stroke-like loss of feeling down one side, when on bc had to take progesterone only, etc). Maybe this had something to do with my miscarriage? Will/can I ever know?

After you have a miscarriage what tests/diagnostics are possible?

What sorts of questions should I be asking?

I don't seem to have had any trouble GETTING pregnant...counted my days for a few months, saw I'd be ovulating ~Valentine's Day, had sex on 12th & 13th, felt like period was coming on 28th but it didn't. Pee'd on a stick on 1 March. Pink line. ("Holy sh!t? Really? Is it that easy?!) Pee'd on another stick 2 March. Pink line. And 3 & 4 March, too. Thrilled!

Seems the trouble was STAYING pregnant. If I get pregnant again, can I monitor my own hgc levels? These seem most revealing numbers indeed! What's this business about baby aspirin? Progesterone?

~5 wks: Went to doctor. Learned I'd have first scan at week 12.
7+1: top button on trousers just a wee bit tight
7+5: talk w/OB about Down's screening procedure
8+6: blood test (step 1 of 3 for Down's screening)
9: feels like I did 100 crunches at gum yesterday (only I didn't). Midwife says ligaments stretch. Discomfort is on both sides & even. Nothing to worry about.
9+1: light brown discharge
9+2 through 9+5 (Easter weekend): bled brown to rust to bright red. Localised uterine/period pains 9+3, no clotting. One bit of egg white mucus 9+3. Other than that, blood. Not a whole lot but enough to worry.
9+6 (yesterday): Urine test indicates pregnant. Blood taken to establish hcg reference point. First scan (external & internal) reveals no sac. Only thicker than usual endometrium and a clot near cervix. Internal exam helps clot out. Told tissue will be tested (for what I don't know).
10 (today): questioning what next & when?
10+1 (tomorrow): going back for hcg test. Hoping it's going down b/c up will indicate ectopic. Possible though unlikely (as no pain yesterday during abdomen pressing).

What should I ask?
What is unknown?
What might help me know more?

With no earlier scan, we don't know 'how pregnant' I got. But my body was changing. For the first time in my life, I felt bloated. My breasts got sore. I wasn't super duper tired and I had no nauseau (my mom didn't suffer from tiredness or morning sickness). I have in my head that somehow if we knew WHEN the fetus stopped developing, we could maybe make a guess at what went wrong. But maybe it doesn't work that way. Maybe it's not as easy as 'If pre-week x it's most likely ____ and since we had a heartbeat at ___, we should make sure next time we ____'. Or is it? It's all so new to me...

Do I need a few more failed attempts to know what might be happening, what to maybe expect, etc?

Sorry this has gotten so long. Just a bit overwhelmed. It's all just a bit much but all too little at the same time, if that makes any sense.

Where/how/when do we start our next attempt?
 

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