Why do people think making my baby cry is funny!!!? Rant!

[Eve]

I don't know what I would do in your situation as no one dares even attempt with my baby, lol... my MIL has been told off many times by me, and has another one coming lol but I would probably punch her in the face... that is me though Maybe tell her you do not like it and to stop being so cruel? I know I wouldn't let her keep your LO if I were you... she seems a little nuts.

DramaFreeMomma- Don't be so quick as to say you agree with watching a baby cry, or how great you think the CIO method is etc... until you have your baby as you might find yourself with your foot in your mouth. I used to believe many things, even been very passionate about things until I educated myself on those things (positive and negative) and now I see things in a total different light. Having your own children changes *most* women and our motherly instinct kicks in and we want to do nothing more than provide and protect our LOs. I know if anyone intentionally made my daughter cry I would probably punch them out by reaction. I've made her cry, and haven't done what made her cry again as I don't like to see her cry, be it from fear, anger, hunger, or even when I have to take a toy away from her... Maybe you will feel the same as you do now when your LO arrives, and maybe you won't, but from someone who has had three children, chances are your opinions on many things will change.
I've been there and the foot in my mouth was pretty embarassing.

 

[DramaFreeMama]

I don't know what I would do in your situation as no one dares even attempt with my baby, lol... my MIL has been told off many times by me, and has another one coming lol but I would probably punch her in the face... that is me though Maybe tell her you do not like it and to stop being so cruel? I know I wouldn't let her keep your LO if I were you... she seems a little nuts.

DramaFreeMomma- Don't be so quick as to say you agree with watching a baby cry, or how great you think the CIO method is etc... until you have your baby as you might find yourself with your foot in your mouth. I used to believe many things, even been very passionate about things until I educated myself on those things (positive and negative) and now I see things in a total different light. Having your own children changes *most* women and our motherly instinct kicks in and we want to do nothing more than provide and protect our LOs. I know if anyone intentionally made my daughter cry I would probably punch them out by reaction. I've made her cry, and haven't done what made her cry again as I don't like to see her cry, be it from fear, anger, hunger, or even when I have to take a toy away from her... Maybe you will feel the same as you do now when your LO arrives, and maybe you won't, but from someone who has had three children, chances are your opinions on many things will change.
I've been there and the foot in my mouth was pretty embarassing.

So are you saying to me that some of my friends who are mothers are bad mothers because they used the CIO method? Or they just don't have any motherly instincts?

 

[aliss]

I don't know what I would do in your situation as no one dares even attempt with my baby, lol... my MIL has been told off many times by me, and has another one coming lol but I would probably punch her in the face... that is me though Maybe tell her you do not like it and to stop being so cruel? I know I wouldn't let her keep your LO if I were you... she seems a little nuts.

DramaFreeMomma- Don't be so quick as to say you agree with watching a baby cry, or how great you think the CIO method is etc... until you have your baby as you might find yourself with your foot in your mouth. I used to believe many things, even been very passionate about things until I educated myself on those things (positive and negative) and now I see things in a total different light. Having your own children changes *most* women and our motherly instinct kicks in and we want to do nothing more than provide and protect our LOs. I know if anyone intentionally made my daughter cry I would probably punch them out by reaction. I've made her cry, and haven't done what made her cry again as I don't like to see her cry, be it from fear, anger, hunger, or even when I have to take a toy away from her... Maybe you will feel the same as you do now when your LO arrives, and maybe you won't, but from someone who has had three children, chances are your opinions on many things will change.
I've been there and the foot in my mouth was pretty embarassing.

So are you saying to me that some of my friends who are mothers are bad mothers because they used the CIO method? Or they just don't have any motherly instincts?

She did not say anything about anyone being a bad mother. She said that most women's mothering instinct is to go to protect/provide for LO {ie when baby is crying because it is upset over something}.

It absolutely goes against a mother's instinct to do CIO. If you want to do CIO like your friends did, go ahead because that is of course your right as a mother, but it will go against your instinct. This is why even CIO advocates say to "harden your heart" because they *know* it goes against instinct. It is against instinct for anyone/anything to not go to/protect it's young. It's why puppies whine, kittens whimper, chimps cry, when they are alone. Humans are no different.

 

[mrsthomas623]

Now i think this whole thread is getting ridiculous. I never said there was anything great about making a baby cry, but i think everyone is being very sensitive about a very harmless situation.

And that's your right, i could really care less. But my opinion (and i am positive i am not the only one whether those of you on here believe it or not) is that showing a baby a certain toy is not a heartless and cruel act.

I can think of a million and 1 other things that warrant comments like that, and a stuffed animal or a theme song is not one of them.

This just reminds me of mothers who are also against letting your child cry it out at night. Just because you let a child learn to self soothe does not mean you are being a bad mother. If that was the case, i know plenty of cruel mothers (and books written about them). Our parenting styles can be different, but i find it pretty condescending to tell me they are absolutely wrong.

There are no studies that say every time a child cries about something, they are being hurt or distressed or traumatized. So how can you tell me playing the "Michigan fight song" is an act of cruelty. I think that's really absurd.

At that age (8 months), babies are starting to develop their own annoyances. And some odd things that annoy a child that early can be funny. No one on the video i posted gave any comments on how cruel the parents were for making their child cry. Now if it was really that terrible, you would think some people would have actually commented on it.

If you find it a bad thing, then that's fine. That's your opinion. But i don't feel any of you have the right to pass judgment on the type of person i am or for that matter what kind of mother i will be. Especially since i did no such thing to any of you.

Perhaps I missed it but I am pretty sure I am the only person who commented on the video, most people are commenting on the OP post that clearly stated that the MIL said "show him the crab toy, it scares him. So clearly MIL is in the wrong as she knows the LO is afraid of the toy.

And CIO is your choice to make but it is heartbreaking to hear your baby cry and you truly do not understand that until your LO is here.

 

[special_kala]

Now i think this whole thread is getting ridiculous. I never said there was anything great about making a baby cry, but i think everyone is being very sensitive about a very harmless situation.

And that's your right, i could really care less. But my opinion (and i am positive i am not the only one whether those of you on here believe it or not) is that showing a baby a certain toy is not a heartless and cruel act.

I can think of a million and 1 other things that warrant comments like that, and a stuffed animal or a theme song is not one of them.

This just reminds me of mothers who are also against letting your child cry it out at night. Just because you let a child learn to self soothe does not mean you are being a bad mother. If that was the case, i know plenty of cruel mothers (and books written about them). Our parenting styles can be different, but i find it pretty condescending to tell me they are absolutely wrong.

There are no studies that say every time a child cries about something, they are being hurt or distressed or traumatized. So how can you tell me playing the "Michigan fight song" is an act of cruelty. I think that's really absurd.

At that age (8 months), babies are starting to develop their own annoyances. And some odd things that annoy a child that early can be funny. No one on the video i posted gave any comments on how cruel the parents were for making their child cry. Now if it was really that terrible, you would think some people would have actually commented on it.

If you find it a bad thing, then that's fine. That's your opinion. But i don't feel any of you have the right to pass judgment on the type of person i am or for that matter what kind of mother i will be. Especially since i did no such thing to any of you.

it makes me sad that you seemed to have decided you will CIO with your baby and it isnt even here yet...for most people CIO out is a last resort but for you it seems to be part and parcel of having a baby

oh and you say "let a baby" i see it as force a baby but hey maybe im being just one of those emotional motheres eh?!

 

[TennisGal]

I don't think it's funny, at all. If anyone did that to DD, I'd tell them squarely to stop immediately.

Neither did I find the Michigan Song video funny. I don't know if it's me, but I can find almost anything more amusing than making a child cry for my own entertainment.

Whether it be frustration, irritation or genuine sadness - why would I want a little baby to feel bad? So I can be amused?

No thanks! That's what comedy night is for...

 

[New2Bumps]

No one on the video i posted gave any comments on how cruel the parents were for making their child cry. Now if it was really that terrible, you would think some people would have actually commented on it.

You have a captive audience - people searching for a baby crying clearly find it funny. The rest of us who do not find it funny would never come across it.

As Youtube works by a matter of searching for material that interests you by entering a keyword, and then secondarily Youtube generating a list of videos that may interest you/are of a similar topic, I think you have a captive audience. I would imagine most ppl who came across that video laughing would have typed in 'baby crying' (I'm pretty sure you would have entered those words as search tags) and the kind of people that do not want to watch a video of a baby crying wouldn't have typed those words in, and probrably would not have come across it.

 

[Dragonfly]

The child stops crying because she learns that she can no longer hope for the caregiver to provide comfort, not because her distress has been alleviated.

I really feel sorry for babies left to cry it out. Just thankful I dont do it. I couldnt.

 

[mandylou]

Now i think this whole thread is getting ridiculous. I never said there was anything great about making a baby cry, but i think everyone is being very sensitive about a very harmless situation.

And that's your right, i could really care less. But my opinion (and i am positive i am not the only one whether those of you on here believe it or not) is that showing a baby a certain toy is not a heartless and cruel act.

I can think of a million and 1 other things that warrant comments like that, and a stuffed animal or a theme song is not one of them.

This just reminds me of mothers who are also against letting your child cry it out at night. Just because you let a child learn to self soothe does not mean you are being a bad mother. If that was the case, i know plenty of cruel mothers (and books written about them). Our parenting styles can be different, but i find it pretty condescending to tell me they are absolutely wrong.

There are no studies that say every time a child cries about something, they are being hurt or distressed or traumatized. So how can you tell me playing the "Michigan fight song" is an act of cruelty. I think that's really absurd.

At that age (8 months), babies are starting to develop their own annoyances. And some odd things that annoy a child that early can be funny. No one on the video i posted gave any comments on how cruel the parents were for making their child cry. Now if it was really that terrible, you would think some people would have actually commented on it.

If you find it a bad thing, then that's fine. That's your opinion. But i don't feel any of you have the right to pass judgment on the type of person i am or for that matter what kind of mother i will be. Especially since i did no such thing to any of you.

i feel sorry for your unborn child.

 

[Eve]

I don't know what I would do in your situation as no one dares even attempt with my baby, lol... my MIL has been told off many times by me, and has another one coming lol but I would probably punch her in the face... that is me though Maybe tell her you do not like it and to stop being so cruel? I know I wouldn't let her keep your LO if I were you... she seems a little nuts.

DramaFreeMomma- Don't be so quick as to say you agree with watching a baby cry, or how great you think the CIO method is etc... until you have your baby as you might find yourself with your foot in your mouth. I used to believe many things, even been very passionate about things until I educated myself on those things (positive and negative) and now I see things in a total different light. Having your own children changes *most* women and our motherly instinct kicks in and we want to do nothing more than provide and protect our LOs. I know if anyone intentionally made my daughter cry I would probably punch them out by reaction. I've made her cry, and haven't done what made her cry again as I don't like to see her cry, be it from fear, anger, hunger, or even when I have to take a toy away from her... Maybe you will feel the same as you do now when your LO arrives, and maybe you won't, but from someone who has had three children, chances are your opinions on many things will change.
I've been there and the foot in my mouth was pretty embarassing.

So are you saying to me that some of my friends who are mothers are bad mothers because they used the CIO method? Or they just don't have any motherly instincts?

Okay lady, you are barking up the wrong tree here... I didn't say a word about someone being a bad mother for doing CIO. I try to be sensitive to others feelings, as I don't want to intentionally offend anyone (yes, even you!) but putting words in my mouth isn't helping the me biting my tongue. Pardon the honesty here but you seem quite rude and cold hearted... I'm done wasting my time with you, as I don't have to justify or defend my motherly instincts to you. I know my role, my job and my heart and I think you need to do a lot of reading up on things before you flap your mouth to lots of experienced, loving, nuturing moms on here.

The child stops crying because she learns that she can no longer hope for the caregiver to provide comfort, not because her distress has been alleviated.

I really feel sorry for babies left to cry it out. Just thankful I dont do it. I couldnt.

Indeed!

I don't think it's funny, at all. If anyone did that to DD, I'd tell them squarely to stop immediately.

Neither did I find the Michigan Song video funny. I don't know if it's me, but I can find almost anything more amusing than making a child cry for my own entertainment.

Whether it be frustration, irritation or genuine sadness - why would I want a little baby to feel bad? So I can be amused?

No thanks! That's what comedy night is for...

Again, agreed! Even if Kayleigh is mad if I have to take something she shouldn't have away, I still feel bad when she cries

 

[Reedy]

The OP's MIL knew full well that the baby was scared of this toy but still asked someone to show it to the baby just for her own amusement, to me thats cruel.
Finley has a book about a fire engine & if you press the button on the front it makes a siren noise & he's sooo scared of it he actually climbs up me to get away from it. The button is never pressed because I know it upsets him & if someone knew it upset him & still pressed it just to make theselves laugh they would get a serious telling off from me

 

[Eve]

The OP's MIL knew full well that the baby was scared of this toy but still asked someone to show it to the baby just for her own amusement, to me thats cruel.
Finley has a book about a fire engine & if you press the button on the front it makes a siren noise & he's sooo scared of it he actually climbs up me to get away from it. The button is never pressed because I know it upsets him & if someone knew it upset him & still pressed it just to make theselves laugh they would get a serious telling off from me

Awe Poor little guy. I would help ya tell em off if someone did that on purpose to him! Different things with different babies. My son was near traumatised by toads at like 2-3 and my dad chased him with one and I got so mad I left their house. It's one thing to try and help them to understand they don't need to be scared, but my son is going on 8 and still scared of toads... I wonder why dad!

 

[dani_tinks]

I don't know how anyone can find making a baby cry funny
So so so mean.
I'd slap the toy over your MILs head if I was you!

 

[redpoppy]

Now i think this whole thread is getting ridiculous. I never said there was anything great about making a baby cry, but i think everyone is being very sensitive about a very harmless situation.

And that's your right, i could really care less. But my opinion (and i am positive i am not the only one whether those of you on here believe it or not) is that showing a baby a certain toy is not a heartless and cruel act.

I can think of a million and 1 other things that warrant comments like that, and a stuffed animal or a theme song is not one of them.

This just reminds me of mothers who are also against letting your child cry it out at night. Just because you let a child learn to self soothe does not mean you are being a bad mother. If that was the case, i know plenty of cruel mothers (and books written about them). Our parenting styles can be different, but i find it pretty condescending to tell me they are absolutely wrong.

There are no studies that say every time a child cries about something, they are being hurt or distressed or traumatized. So how can you tell me playing the "Michigan fight song" is an act of cruelty. I think that's really absurd.

At that age (8 months), babies are starting to develop their own annoyances. And some odd things that annoy a child that early can be funny. No one on the video i posted gave any comments on how cruel the parents were for making their child cry. Now if it was really that terrible, you would think some people would have actually commented on it.

If you find it a bad thing, then that's fine. That's your opinion. But i don't feel any of you have the right to pass judgment on the type of person i am or for that matter what kind of mother i will be. Especially since i did no such thing to any of you.

Please note how no one is agreeing with you. The emotional connection a mother has to her child has a reason. Weather you believe in evolution or God it's there for a reason. If you fail to develop that as a mother there is something not right with you emotional and mental wellbeing. I hope that you not having had your child is the only thing making you unaware of the emotional link.

In terms of leaving their babies to cry for sleep training; I did CC two weekends ago. I did not do it for a laugh or because I didn't see a problem with my baby crying. And MAKING a baby cry and letting them cry whilst you go in to console them and teach them that they are capable of sleeping without being rocked to sleep for 20 minutes ten times a night and still wake up tired and grumpy are very different things in my opinion.

An unhappy baby, a small being that is in this world and doesn't have the faculties to reason or know what is frightening or harmful being taunted by an adult who is oblivious to the idea of a small defenceless thing being scared, or indeed annoyed or unhappy for any reason is sick. If you do not develop a bond with your child where their unhappiness affects you I would be worried and seek help for yourself. The baby won't remember it and probably wont grow up very different to any other child unless continued neglect persisted, BUT that's not the issue. The issue is how a grown adult has evolved to be so heartless.

After all the research I've done in CC and CIO practices and their long term effects I know I disagree with many mothers on here to its long term effects on a baby. However, I would be shocked and appalled at any mother who did not find the whole process very gruelling and took it as an easy peasy fun thing to do to get you baby to sleep.

 

[xbabybumpx]

That video made me want to punch whoever that did it! That poor baby

 

[Buffy71]

I think dramaqueen or whatever she's called is just looking for an argument. Let's not bother giving her what she wants. There are many more deserving posters deserving of our time and effort. To the op I'm sorry your thread got hijacked like this.

Xxx

 

[RedRose]

If anyone made my baby cry on purpose I'd be so angry, but if MIL made my baby cry I'd be IRATE!

Ignore nodramamama, I think she's being deliberately antagonistic.

 

[Reedy]

In terms of leaving their babies to cry for sleep training; I did CC two weekends ago. I did not do it for a laugh or because I didn't see a problem with my baby crying. And MAKING a baby cry and letting them cry whilst you go in to console them and teach them that they are capable of sleeping without being rocked to sleep for 20 minutes ten times a night and still wake up tired and grumpy are very different things in my opinion.

Totally agree with this, if doing CC or CIO your not sat there laughing at them cry you sit on the stairs crying with them thats what I did anyway but I kept going in every couple of minutes to comfort him & reassure him I was there but after 2 nights I just couldnt bare to hear him cry so gave up x

 

[sophie c]

i used the CC method succesfully after a week and trust me i didnt enjoy one part of it, it was heart wrenching and i cried everynight doin it, but my daughter is better off now, she self soothes and goes to sleep on her own and even asks for bed now.....it was a last resort so please dont make out that mothers that use the CC or CIO method enjoy making babies cry or hearing them cry because you couldnt be more wrong....i found that video disturbing and your attitude too dramafree...

 

[KrisKitten]

I think DramaFreeMama is misunderstanding what people mean when they say that her viewpoint isnt quite as valid as it would be from someone who already has a child, I also think other posters are possibly forgetting the naivity of pre-parentood.
To another person a baby crying is just that, a small person making a loud noise because they are displeased - once you have your own child its suddenly this portal into a world of despair and torture that must be stopped.
As a mother it is programmed into you to get upset when your baby cries, its natures way of stopping neglect. It doesnt mean that sometimes it might be in their best interest to not react to it but it does mean that even in those situations it will hurt the mother. Iv personally tried half hearted attempts at CIO just to change my mind and i cant handle it. At the same time however tommy has now taken to screaming and crying when a toy (or something he chooses to believe is a toy) is taken away from him - in this scenario i will speak to him nicely, replace it with another toy and try and take his mind off it but if that doesnt work then it doesnt mean he gets the toy back or gets really really fussed over - i dont want him to learn to cry for things iykwim? But it still hurts to hear him cry.
I think a point DramaFreeMama is missing as well is that the OP states that the baby will then have to be consoled - surely thats proof its not a passing annoyance but it is something that really upsets him?
I totally feel for the OP, not only is it out of order and horrible to make a baby cry for amusement, from a totally selfish point of view its no fun having to settle down a crying baby either! xxx