Why on earth would i be jealous? :(

[eeyore2911]

OK, I know | am being really, really stupid.... my friend at work told me she is pregnant with no 3 (under 4) last week... I did the whole congrats stuff obviously (I hide my broodiness well btw) hubby not keen on babies anytime soon but thats ok . Anyways yet another (much, much younger - I'm 32 ) friend has sprung on me that she is pregnant with no 3 (under 4 - not all by same bloke, council flat etc..... ) I am not even TTC and still have implant in so why the hell am I so jealous and bitter?? I thought I was a nicer person really but am really struggling to be happy for them and feeling like bitter and twisted old moo

 

[eeyore2911]

Oh yeah, and friend no 2 has a sister who is pregnant with number 4.... none have the same the same Dad, she has never had a job and never will..... hmm bitter? Me?

 

[Jenn1983]

My very close friend who is just a year older than me told me his wife was pregnant last week. I know I said congrats and lots of yays! But I was holding back tears the ENTIRE time. Jealousy was written all over my face. Im pretty sure he hasnt talked to me about her pregnancy anymore because of how I reacted. I truely am happy for them.. but I cant control these horrible feelings of jealousy and hate even thinking about talking to him about her pregnancy.

 

[Karuto]

Story of my life.
I cover my broodiness well. But after finding out one of my friends is pregnant annd the same sorta positionas yours well.. saying I was jealous is the udnerstatement of the year!
I don't know how I'll handle it. But for now since I don't see her much I can 'ignore' it.

All I can say is I totally know what your going through and if you ever need to one to chat to don't fret to PM me
x

 

[eeyore2911]

Aw, it's a horrible double edged sword isn't it?! Of course I am (kind of)!! Happy for them and so on.. but the selfishness in me raises its ugly head head I am waiting for so many things to be right before we try for a baby... things that will never be, such as financial security etc etc, yet everyone completely irresponsible blindly wades in having load of offspring I hate having to do 'fake happy' face...

 

[Karuto]

I know the 'fake happy' face actually hurts.
I pretend it's not happening.

But always think.. "Doing the responsible thing, Doing the responsible thing, Doing the responsible thing" which clearly these females aren'r.

Hugs x

 

[eeyore2911]

Thanks for not making me feel like its just me!! I know logically I can't have a baby now but it doesn't make it any easier when people seem to pop them out on a whim! I know I sound bitter and twisted and ask myself if I really would want to be 24 with 2 kids by different Dads and another on the way and be living in some council flat... obviously my rational answer is no.... I have been with hubby 13+ years married for 9, own house, both have good jobs.... but we also have debt which is our responsibility to pay off, not sign it off to the tax payer, we get no tax credits an so on and would have big problems fitting childcare around our shifts.... it can't just be us guys who take it so seriously.... can it??? We are all planning so far ahead on these forums, maybe we're the odd ones out!!

 

[wanna-b-mummy]

I know exactly how you feel and when this happens to me, I just think about how great my little family unit is going to be when it finally happens. A girl I know has just had her first baby (at 18) - the Dad is always at the pub and pissed as a fart, and she's stuck in a flat on her own without two pennies to rub together.
You're waiting so that when the time comes to try, you'll be in a great position and your child will be soooo lucky with a stable environment.
When the time comes for you, it'll all be worth it and a wonderful experience!
I can so sympathise though, I am always so broody and jealous of pregnant friends!

 

[Rei]

OK, I know | am being really, really stupid.... my friend at work told me she is pregnant with no 3 (under 4) last week... I did the whole congrats stuff obviously (I hide my broodiness well btw) hubby not keen on babies anytime soon but thats ok . Anyways yet another (much, much younger - I'm 32 ) friend has sprung on me that she is pregnant with no 3 (under 4 - not all by same bloke, council flat etc..... ) I am not even TTC and still have implant in so why the hell am I so jealous and bitter?? I thought I was a nicer person really but am really struggling to be happy for them and feeling like bitter and twisted old moo

oh hun! I know exactly how you feel. When you want a child so bad and then you see everyone around seem to procreate with reckless abandonment, it's hard not to feel a little bit jealous.
My bf is not interested at ALL in having children. In fact, he told me out flat he doesn't want them. I however want a child sooo badly. I've always dreamed of being a mom. i'm not ttc either, for obvious reason, one bf doesn't want to, and two, I at least want to be married first.

At my old job, not one, not two, not three, but FIVE girls all got pregnant at the same time (two being the same age as me, which was 19 at the time). It was really hard as I wanted a child too....of course I was in no position to have a child then and it would have been REALLY irresponsible of me to do so....but still.... If I could have a child right now I would...

 

[babymakesfive]

I struggled for about a year because I knew that I wasn't going to get my baby that I was desperately wanting. I wanted another one (the intensity of the need grew daily) and my boyfriend continued to say that he was done (he has a 9.5-year-old daughter). It was awful! I could barely look at babies let alone hold one. Then we had a this-is-it point in our relationship (as in move on or go our separate ways) and he's agreed to another baby. Now the intense need to have a baby is still there for me but it's envy to some degree moreso than sadness.

I totally get it. I'm happy for the friends who are adding to their families but I want it to be me. It's driving me crazy!! We're WTT and I don't want to wait!

 

[brila]

I completely understand. You know that you should just be happy for the other person but there's a lump in your stomach that won't allow it. I think that's just human nature. It's impossible to be completely happy for someone else when what they have is what you want more than anything else in the world.

 

[luckyme225]

I think it's normal to be jealous. I always give hugs and smiles when someone tells me they're pregnant but deep down I'm crushed it's not me.