Why Us??

Discussion in 'Long Term Trying To Conceive' started by Dolphin22, May 31, 2011.

  1. Dolphin22

    Dolphin22 Well-Known Member

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    Why were we chosen to have to go through this roller coaster of infertility? I'm sure all of us have asked this question a million times. :) I try to remind myself how blessed I am in life, and I don't know what kind of issues others have so don't be jealous of them, but it's still hard not to wonder why us? 2 healthy, happily married people who want a family so bad they put their blood sweat and tears into it for over 4 years with nothing to show for it except a couple scars and a major need for a massage after all the stress, but it comes so easy for others (some are deserving parents, some, not so much)

    Well, I guess pity party of one, HERE! :)
    Sorry for the rant.

    **If you believe in it, you can achieve it**
     
  2. Sophe

    Sophe Well-Known Member

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    Lifes can seem so unfair sometimes. I have days like that too. So hard to always look on the bright side, but have to keep trying i guess.
     
  3. no_regrets_91

    no_regrets_91 LTTTC 10 YEARS

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    i am feeling the exact same way right now :cry:
     
  4. questforbaby

    questforbaby Member

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    I have been feeling so low myself. The witch arrived yesterday and I was so terribly upset, couldn't sleep at night. I got out of bed, got my diary...started making a list of things that I am thankful for, things that I love about my life. It did make me feel better for the moment, but I definitely know what you mean. I find so many women here struggling to have a baby, but somehow everyone that I know amongst friends and family seem to have no issues getting pregnant.
    I have resolved to try and be more positive though. I have read about the effects of cortisol (hormone produced in response to stress) on fertility and I am afraid that my stress/depression is adding to any issues that I already have.
    I also made a list of things I want to improve about my life in general, not related to TTC. I think it might help to boost my morale overall.

    Don't worry, hun. Hang in there. I understand how you feel, I struggle with it every single day. But I believe God will make it happen for us when the time is right....hopefully that time is soon, like next month :)
     
  5. wantanerd

    wantanerd Well-Known Member

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    I have definitely asked myself that question many times over the last two years and I have asked why was I blessed with PCOS for ten years now. I have always known since I was little, I wanted to be a mom. When most of my cousins were saying they did not want kids, I was saying how I wanted to be a mom one day.

    Dh and I are stable, have been married for three years and we have this gorgeous house on base with three extra bedrooms and two are filled with junk. I have been dreaming since we got this house I would bring a baby home to it.

    But one day (it may not be in this house since we are set to move in a year-year and a half) I will be a mom and it will be amazing.
     
  6. LaRockera

    LaRockera Well-Known Member

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    I'm trying not to ask this specific question, 'why me', because I truly feel I have more than other people, including people with babies but torn marriages or even worse.

    But at the same time, seeing women around me falling so easily pregnant makes me rephrase the question and go 'why can't I be like them'?

    I am told I need to look at other people's problems, people that have it far worse than me, but hey, how can the misery of others be my consolation? No, it doesn't help. It doesn't make sense.

    The worst part is the two week wait, when I know way too early I'm out. My mood swings and melancholy are now out of control. I can sit for endless day in a row and look at my computer screen sinking into total inertia, waiting at least for AF to arrive so that I feel better again.

    It's a vicious circle. I never thought it would affect me so much. I never thought that having a baby would be a piece of cake either, but boy, this, I never expected either.

    :hugs:
     
  7. readyformore

    readyformore Well-Known Member

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    I'm an OB nurse. Last week I had 2 patients that it just didn't seem life worked out for either.

    One of my patients just had her 4th baby (please no comments about 4 kids, I'm ttc #4). The thing is, she had her tubes tied after her third. . . .and they grew back. I'm sure she'll love her baby, but she was completely DONE after her 3rd.

    Then I had another patient that had to have a hysterectomy at 30. She had one 4 year old daughter but very much wanted another and was obviously greiving.

    Why is life like that? It just doesn't make any sense.
     
  8. Armywife84

    Armywife84 Guest

    I completely agree, how can God bless someone who microwaves their baby with motherhood and not some of us who would give ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to be a mother. Even if it meant just having one.
     
  9. Rivetkitten

    Rivetkitten Well-Known Member

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    I did ask this question... Once. I don't ask it anymore. I just say... Please let me be pregnant. I never am. I know now long before Af arrives that we haven't been successful and it's heartbreaking to be trapped in that abyss of nothing. Neither waiting to try or waiting to test. Just barren. Empty. Useless. Next month will be the same again. Packing to leave this place to move to our new home, all the things we have kept for this imagined baby that should be here now... we believed that in at least 2 years we would have some knowledge of it's existence. But now we are having to choose to leave it behind, give it away. It's like giving away and leaving behind the hope of ever becoming pregnant. Still I don't ask why me? why not me?. I just say Please let me be pregnant. I won't be this month again. I know my dream will vanish in a flurry of packing and boxes. I will watch others get their BFP's and I will share happy smiles of encouragement with them. All the while wishing it was me. But I'll never ask why me again... because there is no answer to that question.
     
  10. MrS. MaBrEy

    MrS. MaBrEy Mom of 2 & TTC

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    i stopped asking when i found the answer to why. now im putting all of my energy into doing whatever i can control to get one. after nearly 3 years of trying i feel lost alot. like im walking around in the dark. but the light is coming soon. with all of the " i did it once and ...BAM" or all of the "well all IIIII had to do was a bottle of vodka and a hot shower..." blah de Fing blah...how about this to them? STFU! shop pretending you know the answers to my problems. stop pretending you "understand" and stop patronizing me. thats my new answer to everything. either i can control it and i can try to fix it, or i cant control it so i shut it down. its working so far...except that im not pregnant yet... :dohh:
     

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