Will you tell oh immediately when u get a BFP or wait a few days to be safe?

[hopefulfor1st]

This has been playing on my mind!
With both my BFPs I told him the day of- but the second was a chemical. 5 days of BFPs, 2 days of bfns then bleeding. Now that I've researched how common chemicals are I'm considering not telling him next time I get my BFP for a week or 2 to shield him, as he was really devastated.

Anyone else feel the same?

 

[hopefulfor1st]

No one? I'm interested to hear!

 

[Sunny.X]

Yes, I'll be planning to do the same but I don't know if my excitement will take over and just come out with it!

 

[hopefulfor1st]

That's exactly how I feel! With my chemical I had my pregnancy confirmed by my doc and already had a referral for my dating scan to be done at 6-7 weeks. When I told hubby he was very much looking forward to scan and said "couldn't u have just taken me to the scan and surprised me I can't wait that long!" The reason I'd told him straight away though was I was worried as Jace was so young and hubby kept going back and forth between another now or waiting a few years.

I hope I can be more creative next time instead of just saying "hey you know how I don't get periods (pcos) so I test every few weeks?! Well I did one today and it was positive.. As we're 3 more"

 

[LittleMum]

I would only take a test with oh

 

[LittleMum]

A

 

[hopefulfor1st]

I would only take a test with oh

I have really long irregular cycles so take an ic every 1-2 weeks or if I plan on having a wine
Both times I conceived were 5-6 months after my last period.
Plus I wouldn't want to disappoint him with a bfn. I understand if late period is abnormal for you then late period probably would me a BFP!
But I burn through ics in long stints of being anovulatory.

 

[rollachick]

Ild tell him straight away. He knows when my periods are due so he always asks even if i havent done a test. I wont be able to contain my excitement when i finally get a bfp. And if it did end up as a chemical atleast he could support me, otherwise held just wonder what was up with me. =)

 

[hopefulfor1st]

Ild tell him straight away. He knows when my periods are due so he always asks even if i havent done a test. I wont be able to contain my excitement when i finally get a bfp. And if it did end up as a chemical atleast he could support me, otherwise held just wonder what was up with me. =)

This too....but last cycle I totally felt like I had let him down when I had the mc :/

 

[Sunny.X]

Ild tell him straight away. He knows when my periods are due so he always asks even if i havent done a test. I wont be able to contain my excitement when i finally get a bfp. And if it did end up as a chemical atleast he could support me, otherwise held just wonder what was up with me. =)

I also agree with this, though! God knows what I'll do, I think I'll take it as it comes. I'll most probably tell him though.. I'll be jumping through the roof, literally!

 

[Sunny.X]

Ild tell him straight away. He knows when my periods are due so he always asks even if i havent done a test. I wont be able to contain my excitement when i finally get a bfp. And if it did end up as a chemical atleast he could support me, otherwise held just wonder what was up with me. =)

This too....but last cycle I totally felt like I had let him down when I had the mc :/

I understand what you're saying Hopeful, and remember you haven't let your husband down I'm sure your husband would want to know if anything happened rather than you going through it on your own!

 

[rollachick]

And another thought is how long do you wait coz you could wait a week and then tell him and still have a mc so it would be really hard to judge how long you keep it to yourself.
Just keep your fx for getting a sticky bean next time

 

[hopefulfor1st]

And another thought is how long do you wait coz you could wait a week and then tell him and still have a mc so it would be really hard to judge how long you keep it to yourself.
Just keep your fx for getting a sticky bean next time

Probably a week cos that's when I lost the last one! Or til 6 week scan if possible

 

[beaglemom]

I would have to say right away. But if I can wait, I would only wait so I could tell him in a really awesome way. Like I found a Star Wars onsie at a used baby store & I am holding on to it for that occasion...if it happens...FX

I def have to keep him in the loop, though. I need his support for everything. I am the strong one in the relationship, but I feel like when one of us falls, the other is quick to pick up the slack.

 

[awaitingrmb]

IDK....I may wait like three days and test again. If it is still a bfp, I will spill the beans. But I plan on surprising him with it though.

 

[Celesse]

I'd tell him straight away. I'd tell him if I had a chemical, not something I can imagine hiding from him. We don't have any secrets so hiding something as big as a miscarriage, even a really early one would seem very wrong to me.

 

[chimmi]

I'd tell him straight away. I'd tell him if I had a chemical, not something I can imagine hiding from him. We don't have any secrets so hiding something as big as a miscarriage, even a really early one would seem very wrong to me.

I feel the same. I have never had a bfp but imagine if i did, i would tell my fiance. we are doing this together and really you can have a loss at any stage.. I would need his support if I had a loss he would be the only person who could help me though it. That's how I feel. Plus I would be so excited he would just know!

 

[lm3898]

Definitely going to tell hubby same day but will likely wait til he gets home from work then I'm going to leave out a book I bought him labeled "So You're Going To Be A Dad" where he can see it! I can't wait to be able to do it... for all this month!! Fx.

 

[hopefulfor1st]

I'd tell him straight away. I'd tell him if I had a chemical, not something I can imagine hiding from him. We don't have any secrets so hiding something as big as a miscarriage, even a really early one would seem very wrong to me.

I feel the same. I have never had a bfp but imagine if i did, i would tell my fiance. we are doing this together and really you can have a loss at any stage.. I would need his support if I had a loss he would be the only person who could help me though it. That's how I feel. Plus I would be so excited he would just know!

I would tell him aswell but I was thinking after it happened. Hoping it doesn't happen again though.

 

[mummytoangels]

I think they have every right to know straight away, the same day we find out. Ok yes sometimes things go haywire, but we r in this journey together right? So that's the good with the bad. I understand wanting to protect ur partner, but if the shoe was on the foot nd I wasn't told about something so life changing I would b pissed from hiding it from me.