wish i never had my baby :(

[bathbabe]

seek help from your dr or hv hun and remember we are all here to help you too x

 

[PresqueVu]

All I can do is echo what other people have said, do speak to a professional - and an understanding friend if you've got a good one. PND affects a lot of people and it isn't your fault you are feeling this way - the important thing is that you get the support you need for it

 

[mommy-in-june]

I wanted to comment on this because I've just come out of a very similar place. I was SO excited and happy about my son when I first came home. Then the colic reared its ugly head, and I fell apart for about a month. I did nothing but cry all the time. I was scared of (for fear of waking him and dealing with more screaming) and frustrated by my baby non-stop. I felt like all the initial bonding feelings I felt were gone, even though I am breast feeding. Only in the past few weeks have my feelings started to change. Now that I am seeing through the "hormone haze", I am feeling so much better, and so much in love with him again. PND can be gotten over... unfortunately, it takes time, and you're miserable during that time. I just wanted to let you know I understand how you feel, and it will pass. Try to do anything you can to relax, and take every opportunity you have to get out of the house/away from the baby for a while. That will really help. PM me any time if you need or want to.

 

[vkj73]

i really admire you for saying something and reaching out. that seems like a huge first step. i'm sure there are tons of women out there who have similar thoughts and are afraid to say anything.

i would keep reaching out and talk to as many people as you can about it.

remember to breathe and whenever you can, get some "me" time.

i wish you all the best and hope that things get better for you soon.

 

[SamGames23]

I just wanted to see if things are going any better a few days after you posted this. Hope it is. Good luck.

 

[kitabird]

I just wanted to see if things are going any better a few days after you posted this. Hope it is. Good luck.

Not really, I have times when I think I can cope and then it all falls apart again. Didn't talk to HV about it - I asked her advice about a feeding issue and she couldn't have been less interested, practically ignored me, so that didn't exactly encourage me to open up! Have a friend coming over today who is a doctor, so I might talk to her if I can.

 

[SamGames23]

i hope it works. Maybe you need to talk to some other doctor. But good luck keep us posted.

 

[broodylocket]

xxxx

 

[milkmachine]

doctors wont just throw anti ds at you trust me i have been there, you need to talk to your health visitor. did you get on with your midwife? you could go to her? it is vital you talk to someone they will get you more support to help you through this there are organisations and groups you can go too so that you dont feel so alone. well done for speaking out here but you really really must talk to someone professional these feelings do not go away on their own without help.feel free to pm me if you fancy chatting further

 

[BabyHaines]

Evening sweetie, how are you feeling today?
Did you talk to your friend?

It's vitally important that you try and open up to someone as soon as possible. Depression can be very consuming and can make people do and say things they really don't mean.

It's not your fault you're feeling like this, and you must, must, must undertsand this. No-one will judge you or think any less of you.
I know some very good people who know a lot about PND and PPP etc, I could put you in touch with someone if you like?
But please, for your baby's sake, pick the phone up and talk to someone local to you so that they can help you honey xxxx

 

[Raggydoll]

Evening sweetie, how are you feeling today?
Did you talk to your friend?

It's vitally important that you try and open up to someone as soon as possible. Depression can be very consuming and can make people do and say things they really don't mean.

It's not your fault you're feeling like this, and you must, must, must undertsand this. No-one will judge you or think any less of you.
I know some very good people who know a lot about PND and PPP etc, I could put you in touch with someone if you like?
But please, for your baby's sake, pick the phone up and talk to someone local to you so that they can help you honey xxxx

I can only really echo what Baby Haines has said, especially the bit i've bolded.

In the early weeks after my daughter was born I was all over the place, sometimes I felt like I didn't want her other times I felt like I was a terrible mum and my daughter and husband deserved better.

Don't be afraid of taking anti depressants. PND is also a chemical imbalance and the medication will help sort this. A good GP or HV will also help you get support from the mental health team as the tablets do help but aren't the only help needed.

If you want to chat you can PM me. I've been at the very bottom with PND, I ended up taking an overdose but I'm also now coping with things and I love being a mummy to my little girl. I really hope you can get the support you need soon.

 

[Eoz]

How are you darling? xxxxxx

 

[Miss_d]

you are ill and need to seek professional help ASAP, did you speak to your Doctor friend? you should go to your own GP and speak with another health visitor, you have made the first step which must have taken alot of guts, by telling us how you feel, big to you, xx

 

[ethan amelia]

Anyone heard from Kitabird? iv been thinking about her and hoping she is ok and seeking help.

xx

 

[Eoz]

I think of her loads.Her post upset me xx

 

[andbabymakes3]

I think this was a really brave and honest post to make. You've taken the first step writing down how you feel, big huge hugs for that.

I know it's hard, I went to my gp four times to try to talk about my ptsd and each time I bottled it and ended up talking about other unimportant things. In the end, I went in and broke down, he referred me for counselling and put me on antidepressants, which, for me, have been a huge help.

Please go and talk to somebody. For your sake and your LO. It doesn't have to be like this sweetpea, there are people out there who can help.

x

 

[calm]

You have to think its just depression. Depression can make you feel things you wouldn't normally ever feel. In your case a particular depression: PND, so of course you don't have to only consider your own health but your LO's. The thing is when you are better you will honestly say "I can't believe I felt that way, that wasn't me". If you are dead set against tablets tell this to doctor, and ask for therapy, go private if you have to. But you do need to tackle this problem, and then the cloud will lift, and you will feel better. Don't feel judged, you are not a bad person, you just have PND, it's a problem with a solution and there is plenty of light at the end of the tunnel. Try to get support from family so to cover all of LO's needs when you feel its all too much. Big hugs XXX

 

[kitabird]

Hi again. Still haven't managed to talk to anyone properly, I'm just the type of person who finds it hard to open up and chicken out. I've got a doctor's appt coming up about something else (not healing properly after birth) so I'll try again then. In the meantime I'm just trying to get out and about and have started at a postnatal group which I found really good.
Thanks for all the support x

 

[Miss_d]

what about printing off what you wrote to us and letting the doc read it, that way you dont have to actually get the words out to your doctor? x

 

[Eoz]

Hi again. Still haven't managed to talk to anyone properly, I'm just the type of person who finds it hard to open up and chicken out. I've got a doctor's appt coming up about something else (not healing properly after birth) so I'll try again then. In the meantime I'm just trying to get out and about and have started at a postnatal group which I found really good.
Thanks for all the support x

Glad your getting out hun.I still think the dr should know.Mrs D's suggestion is fab

maybe when yor healed your mind will feel better.I hate opening up as well but you took the 1st step by posting here so well done