wish i never had my baby :(

[vkj73]

that is so great that you started a post-natal group. just being around new moms helps immensely. they "get it". also, the hurt, trauma and healing down below i believe affects our overall state of mind as well. our bodies have been through a lot...so that, coupled with our emotions, it makes sense that we can all be wrecks in our own way.

go easy on yourself. trust yourself.

i also find that doing what feels right for me (i.e. instincts) works better than when i try to compare myself to others or try to meet some "standard".

&

p.s. love miss-d's idea

 

[crossroads]

kita is your postnatal group in Newcastle?

 

[kitabird]

kita is your postnatal group in Newcastle?

Whitley Bay. Are you in the city centre?

 

[crossroads]

kita is your postnatal group in Newcastle?

Whitley Bay. Are you in the city centre?

I live next to South Shields.

How is your group going? How did you set it up?

 

[Heavencanwait]

I just wanted to say that you are not the first new mum to feel that way, and you definately won't be the last. The massive chemical changes your body is going through, and all those things that you can't see happening inside you, are to blame for how you are feeling.
There is lots of treatment for PND other than anti depressants, there is counselling available and group support. Your HV is there to support you and she will be able to help you get help if you talk to her. I hope you are starting to feel better.

 

[leelee]

Hope your okay? Are you still having the same feelings or have they subsided?

Do you have an OH or family member that you can talk to?

 

[Carmello_01]

I can't add anything more than these lovely ladies already have, just sending huge,huge huge hugs your way.

 

[kitabird]

kita is your postnatal group in Newcastle?

Whitley Bay. Are you in the city centre?

I live next to South Shields.

How is your group going? How did you set it up?

lol, i meant i started going to a group, not that i started one up!

 

[kitabird]

still feeling the same. had some good days and some like today when i just can't cope and wish there was a way out

 

[faun]

Hi, kitabird your post made me cry because it brought back so many memories and i just want to hug you and tell you its ok. I am going to send you a pm

 

[BabyHaines]

Hey sweetie, I just wanted to stop by and leave you a
Tomorrow is a new day and let's hope it will be brighter than today for you.

Remember, I'm only a PM away if you need me xxxx

 

[Raggydoll]

Kitabird.

 

[sunbeam]

really dont mean to sound harsh here but is anyone thinkin of the poor baby in the middle of all this? this poor child must be livin in fear ..fair enough she may have pnd but whos lookin out for the baby ,its not his fault is it but he has to put up with her anger has everybody forgot about baby p ? get some help woman please before ur precious baby feels the consequences..im sorry if no-one agrees but i feel someone needs to be on the side of that poor baby

 

[Lexi's Mummy]

totally agree with the above post, ive sat back for a while and often bit my lip over whether or not i should post. the poor baby is the one who is going to suffer the consequences is she conitues to "chicken" out of telling someone. Clearly she understands there is somethin wrong for her to say she is going to seek help. i know ppl wil probably linch me for sayin this but i cant sit back and not say anythin, i would never forgive myself if a few weeks down the line we hear somethin has happened to that poor child and i havent said my bit.. everyone is telling her its ok and can be normal to feel this way, but pnd or not its is never ok to feel like slapping a tiny baby.... what happens if she gets these feeling in the night when shes tired and does somethin she lives to regret and everyone has sat back giving out hugs..

i am no way sayin dealing with pnd is easy, but when your having thoughts about actually physically hurtin your child, your need to stop "chickening" out and do something about it before u do something youll live to regret for the rest of your life

feel free to linch me now but its the baby i feel sorry for afterall the poor thing cant voice its own opinion..

 

[babezone]

Sorry but i have to agree with sunbeam, Fair enough you may have pnd and find it hard bonding etc but the fact that you have actually said you want to slap him accross the face means thers a chance you could if 1 night he is crying all hours youve had no sleep and hes stressing you out you could flip in a second and its the baby that would suffer. 1 slap could be all it takes, yes you need to seek help asap and to be honest i personally think you ought to leave bubs in care of somebody else till you feel in more of a stable situation to take care of him, theres 2 of you in this situatuon you and your BABY ther is no 1 to fight hes battles other then hes mum, and if hes mum is having those feelings he has no1. It would be a different story if you was sat here saying you just havent bonded yet etc but its more then that, Personally i wouldnt leave it another night theres hospitals that would help NOW not tomo, I havent ment this to come across harsh but some 1 has to say something xxx

 

[PresqueVu]

but pnd or not its is never ok to feel like slapping a tiny baby.... .

I'd just like to point out that my midwife warned me that you may have these feelings and that you need to face up to them and control them - the problem is not in having them, but of the danger of acting them out. I've sometimes felt like I could just walk out the door and leave baby alone in the flat when he won't stop crying and I can't figure out whats wrong - but I would never actually do this.

Kitabird IS facing up to these feelings and does seem to be aware of the danger. I understand that there is a big concern here but she is already seeking help, even if it is in small steps like speaking out on this forum. How much courage do you think it took to admit that she felt that way?

 

[leelee]

but pnd or not its is never ok to feel like slapping a tiny baby.... .

I'd just like to point out that my midwife warned me that you may have these feelings and that you need to face up to them and control them - the problem is not in having them, but of the danger of acting them out. I've sometimes felt like I could just walk out the door and leave baby alone in the flat when he won't stop crying and I can't figure out whats wrong - but I would never actually do this.

Kitabird IS facing up to these feelings and does seem to be aware of the danger. I understand that there is a big concern here but she is already seeking help, even if it is in small steps like speaking out on this forum. How much courage do you think it took to admit that she felt that way?

I agree that it would have taken a lot of courage to come on here and admit how she is feeling. I also think that she is quite self-aware & will go and speak to someone soon.

 

[sunbeam]

but pnd or not its is never ok to feel like slapping a tiny baby.... .

I'd just like to point out that my midwife warned me that you may have these feelings and that you need to face up to them and control them - the problem is not in having them, but of the danger of acting them out. I've sometimes felt like I could just walk out the door and leave baby alone in the flat when he won't stop crying and I can't figure out whats wrong - but I would never actually do this.

Kitabird IS facing up to these feelings and does seem to be aware of the danger. I understand that there is a big concern here but she is already seeking help, even if it is in small steps like speaking out on this forum. How much courage do you think it took to admit that she felt that way?

actually no she isnt facing up to things because she hasnt got help yet and is still feelin the same way, so this poor baby is still in danger and still living in a hostile atmosphere. and people telling her its normal to feel this way is not helping ..NO it isnt normal to want to shout at or slap your tiny 10 week old baby just for wanting a feed or cuddle ( her words not mine) so she needs to act and act soon for his sake as well as her own ...

 

[Lexi's Mummy]

but pnd or not its is never ok to feel like slapping a tiny baby.... .

I'd just like to point out that my midwife warned me that you may have these feelings and that you need to face up to them and control them - the problem is not in having them, but of the danger of acting them out. I've sometimes felt like I could just walk out the door and leave baby alone in the flat when he won't stop crying and I can't figure out whats wrong - but I would never actually do this.

Kitabird IS facing up to these feelings and does seem to be aware of the danger. I understand that there is a big concern here but she is already seeking help, even if it is in small steps like speaking out on this forum. How much courage do you think it took to admit that she felt that way?

in all honesty it makes no difference wat your midwife warned u of, doesnt make it right

she may be facing up to it, but as babezone pointed out, if shes having feelings of actually physically harming the child, taking it one step/day at a time may be one day to long. she needs to do something now..

 

[sunbeam]

but pnd or not its is never ok to feel like slapping a tiny baby.... .

I'd just like to point out that my midwife warned me that you may have these feelings and that you need to face up to them and control them - the problem is not in having them, but of the danger of acting them out. I've sometimes felt like I could just walk out the door and leave baby alone in the flat when he won't stop crying and I can't figure out whats wrong - but I would never actually do this.

Kitabird IS facing up to these feelings and does seem to be aware of the danger. I understand that there is a big concern here but she is already seeking help, even if it is in small steps like speaking out on this forum. How much courage do you think it took to admit that she felt that way?

I agree that it would have taken a lot of courage to come on here and admit how she is feeling. I also think that she is quite self-aware & will go and speak to someone soon.

but not soon enough tho, she posted here weeks ago and has openly admitted she still feels the same but still hasnt got any help.. im quite concerned that nearly everyone on here is supporting her but no.one is supporting the baby