Wish me luck plz

[africaqueen]

I am going with DH to see his friend's 2 day old baby boy later... i have not been around any babies since our loss in jan and although in one respect i feel excited to be around a newborn etc and to take his gorgeous lil gift(tiny trainers and teddy) i am bit scared it might really upset me. I feel fine now just have no idea how i will react... anyone else been in similar situation?
we cnt just pretend that babies dnt exist right? we have to face day to day life and congratulate friends?


xxx

 

[NatoPMT]

Yeah thats going to be tough, last night I watched my One Born Every Minutes that had backed up on sky plus, and i was fine until the babies were born, and then i cried, that was hard, let alone seeing an actual baby. I think its a good idea to see him, it will be emotional but it could be part of your healing x

 

[Nosy_Cow]

I had my baby brother's 1st birthday party to deal with a few weeks ago and there was a 3 week old baby there. My OH held her and I just burst into tears. Everyone understood though.

It will be tough honey but I'm sure they'll understand if you start crying.

 

[w8ing4bean]

good luck hun im sure you'll be fine i suprised myself by cuddling my friends 2 week old, and not wanting to give him back coz hes so gorgeous!! xx

 

[lilly77]

I know just how you feel, I have yet to visit my best friends 5 day old baba - am going to wait til after my op on Monday.

good luck and big hugs to you

 

[RedRose19]

awww hun i know its hard.. but i actually feel the sight of a baby/child can help and hugging them etc.. i feel my heart heal in a way... its just the sight of preg woman than upset me.. cuz thats something that isnt happening for me if you know what i mean

 

[hans]

I really understand where your coming from. I am a manager of a day nursery and see babies every day its so hard but life goes on and you dont want there baby you want your own. It will happen one day. Keep your chin up xxxxxxx

 

[africaqueen]

Thanks ladies.
Well im home now and it all went well and i held him and had a cuddle and took pics etc but as we were leaving they said they had something to ask and then asked my DH to be godfather of the baby... they didnt ask me to be godmother and on the way home i broke dwn crying. i feel like im not good enough to be someones mum and now im not good enough to be a godmother either... i knw its stupid i just feel rly sad. I just thought it was insensitive to ask my husband and not me. especially after knowing what it would of meant to me after what happened... i knw its my DH's best friend and gf but still... am i being over sensitive? DH said im overreacting and its not a big deal but if its not a big deal, why couldnt they of just asked me? i feel i cnt go the christening now as i am not part it and the god parents will sit together at the front of the church etc and i feel useless again

Im sorry for moaning just very sad now xxx

 

[hb1]

I think you would sit with the godparents being the oh of one of them, all my godparents were one half of a couple - not the whole couple - I had 2 godmothers and one godfather. Never really studied the why's and where-fors of godparenting but I doubt it was a comment on your abilities as a mother and as the oh of their godfather you would still be expected to be a big part in their life.

Glad you had a lovely time with the baby - there -- you've done it now and can enjoy next time - I really have enjoyed every baby time I've had and it does help

Keep your chin up

hx

 

[RedRose19]

hun just wanted to give you a i wouldnt take it personally its just sometime when picking god parents they have one from each side of the family if that makes sense.. so the god mother is prob someone from her side of the family or someone close to her as he had his best friend as the god father..

me and my oh have decided we will pick someone from his side and my side each time to be fair.. i dont think they meant it to hurt your feelings hun

 

[NatoPMT]

At the risk of inflaming your hurt, i think that IS pretty insensitive. I wondered whether to post this, but i would feel exactly the way you do and i am not easily hurt and dont have high expectations of people.

I think they would have been better to explain what they were thinking, it might be that they thought things might be too raw for you to do that job, or what the other girls have said above, but i think they should have explained their position to you and been open, you are too vunerable at the mo for trying to work things like this out

That said, whatever they are thinking, i dont think that you should talk to them about it, i think, at the risk of being controversial, that new parents can be a bit insular and considerate only of the massive event thats just happened to them, precisely because its such a huge event. But that can mean that they dont think about others how they should be doing ideally, and can make blunders like this seem inconsequential to them

I see your point, but i also think its a fact of life that we all have to deal with and certainly wouldnt allow it to colour my view of the friendship

nato x

 

[Sydd]

Hey hun, I've just sneaked in here...
But I can relate.. Had MMC diagnosed feb I'm still bleeding from it now unfortunately But the same day my cousins lil un was born...
I found the strength to go see him the other day and I found it really helped me be more positive.
I hope it's the same for you.