Wishing, wanting, waiting.....TTC for a year PLUS!

[Moondance]

5:05 in the afternoon and no sign of AF yet.
I really am beginning to think that FF is wrong this time.

So far I keep feeling wet downstairs, but no AF

 

[honeybee28]

Thanks moon. I try to stay chilled, but it's not in my nature haha. hope the witch stays away!

awww titi so sorry you got hurt!! Glad you enjoyed your dinner even if it was a little chilly.
I think that it's great you guys are looking into adoption. Plus, I know a lot of people that adopted coz they couldnt have kids (had tried several rounds of ivf etc) and then got knocked up a few months after adopting. Crazy.

It's raining here and washing the snow away. I may leave the house today!!

xxxx

 

[tryforbaby2]

Hi Girls,
just checking in. Tryfor-you can pm me anytime here or fb or email me. Or I can give you my # and we can chat. Sometimes I'm inspirational and a support and other times I just need support and help myself. Maybe we can also muddle through this adoption thing together. I want to begin the adoption process (it takes about 8-9 months of orientation/home study, etc.) in early spring (I've promised ourselves a break, and dh really needs time to grieve/think). ......... I'm still sad we most likely won't get a baby. I am afraid I'll never know what its like to hold tiny hands and feet. Love the avatar!

Honey-counting down the days for you!!!!!!!!!! Praying, praying and praying some more! Dinner was lovely thank you. After bragging about it being in the eighties here it has dipped to high 50's at night which is pretty cold for our Floridan blood! We still had a really nice date even if we were the ONLY ones on the patio. But they were playing xmas music and the mall xmas tree was up and they had heaters out there and Marlow was enjoying herself so much it was just nice time.

Anyway-here is how geriatric I've become.....started zumba with Squirrelgirl online and just when we were so proud of ourselves for almost working out a week in a row (she made it, I didn't) I did something very painful to my hip while trying to "twist/shimmy". I haven't been able to zumba in a week.
Well today I was driving in the car and started getting the worst pain in my lower back. I thought it was my kidneys and since I'd felt like I was fighting a bladder infection earlier in the week I went straight to the dr. Well it wasn't an infection-it was inflamation to the ligament that wraps around the hip! From my damn zumba injury!!! Now she's given me steroid pack and I have to stay off it some more. : (
Now also, I was up 7 lbs :shocked: from the last dr. visit last month which is a total of 18 lbs since starting fertility meds and almost 30 pounds from the wedding..........the LAST thing I want to do is take steroids instead of exercising!!!!!

I think adoption is a great idea!!! I personally would want to adopt a child passed the newborn stage, and probably passed one year old. I want my own baby so badly, that I feel I wouldnt have that 'mother-infant connection' with someone else's baby. I feel like there is no problem with me loving someones toddler. Does that sound nuts???!!!

And wouldn't you try to adopt a baby???

I did zumba for months! Loved it, was always sore from it and soaked with sweat (I did it at a gym), but my fertility doctor in April told me to stop doing zumba, it wasnt good for my blood pressure!!!

Wow! I didnt know fertility meds cause people to gain weight! I knew steriods do but holy smokes!

All I had to do to gain 30-40 pounds was quit smoking and viola! I was a twiggy thing at a tiny 110lbs.....

OUCH!!! I hope you feel better!!!

Glad you guys still braved the chilliness to have a cute dinner outside with Marlow! Are you getting into the Christmas spirit yet?

I was planning to restart tonight, but here I am on my couch cuddled in a blanket...... maaaaaaaaaybe tomorrow...... hehe....

Yea

Maybe tomorrow

Zumba sounds like so much fun. Though coz I'm fat and jiggly, I'd be embarassed about doing it in front of anyone. My dad teases me whenever he sees me doing Wii Fit.
I jiggle way too much!!


And Honeybee, please don't stress that things won't be right. Stressing about them might be the factor in what makes things not right, if anything wasn't right. You shouldn't be stressing now. Your body and your little Thai noodle don't need it. Take a step back from the stressing and do something relaxing to get your mind off it.
I'm a person who naturally stresses over every tiny detail of every aspect of everything. I have major anxiety and when something upsets me or stresses me out, I flip out, I can't eat or sleep or do anything normal. Sometimes I wonder if thats the reason I'm not pregnant yet, too much stress and not enough chillaxing.

I had a solid temp drop this morning. Way down below my coverline. So... AF should be here today I think.

Where is the darn 'slap you' button??

You are beautiful. I know. I seen your picture before. Your dad sounds like a butt for making comments to you like that but even my step dad called me all kinds of names as a kid for my weight.



I have to agree with the no stress logic. I wish I can not stress so much.

Thanks moon. I try to stay chilled, but it's not in my nature haha. hope the witch stays away!

awww titi so sorry you got hurt!! Glad you enjoyed your dinner even if it was a little chilly.
I think that it's great you guys are looking into adoption. Plus, I know a lot of people that adopted coz they couldnt have kids (had tried several rounds of ivf etc) and then got knocked up a few months after adopting. Crazy.

It's raining here and washing the snow away. I may leave the house today!!

xxxx

How is our honeybee today???

Wow, you may actually leave your house today???

I think when people adopt, they may finally relax a bit in the bedroom because they just think "who cares about getting pregnant right now, I have a child coming or a child here for us to raise and love"......relaxation just might be the key.

Don't think I could possibly be pregnant anymore since all the 'prior' bfn's but FF says "possibly triphastic" which has a slightly higher rate of pregnancy charts, but does not mean you are pregnant.....just that your temps happen to follow that pattern.

I am getting left ovary cramps as we speak. Annoying pinching cramps. I believe af is due tuesday.

 

[Moondance]

Dinner was awesome.
My friend Nat, who is staying with me due to a whole whole heap of reasons, cooked me Pad Thai for dinner, and then my brother gave me a HUGE freaking piece of Pavlova.
It made me feel sick. But it was SO freaking worth it!


I don't know how you couldn't want to adopt animals too julia! They're amazing. If it wasn't for animals, I'd not be on this earth anymore. They're my lifeblood and my lifeline.

I have 3 cats, 2 dogs, 1 horse, 1 bird and 3 chickens.
And I always want more.

 

[Moondance]

Gaaaaaaaaah, what is my body doing!!!
FF reckons I ovulated on CD19, whether thats accurate or not, I don't know.

At 8dpo, I had creamy yellow thick gooey mucus and light spotting.
Today, AF should be due, and I thought it was coming- I did have the most massive temp drop from the day before, I did have a fever the day before, but excluding that, its WAY below coverline so it still counts as a massive drop.

All I have is an extremely watery vajayjay. Like... literally, watery to the point, I got up off my chair and my panties were soaking wet and I thought AF had come but when I checked, NOTHING.

I haven't had sore boobs, which I normally do before AF, this time, nothing so far.

Is it possible I haven't ovulated yet or what? This is confusing me!

 

[honeybee28]

do you use opks moon? I flipping love pad thai!! I ate sooooo much of it on holiday!

I went out of the house!!!! Not for long though. I'm back in it now. lol.

Hope you're just implanting late jules.xxx

 

[Moondance]

do you use opks moon? I flipping love pad thai!! I ate sooooo much of it on holiday!

I do and they tell me nothing.
I put a thread in the OPK thread asking if one I took looked like a positive to everybody else.
Everyone said it did.
3 days later, I took another and it was also positive.
I've taken another since then and it says positive too.
OPK's for me are always positive, regardless of when I take them in my cycle.
I know this is something they say is a symptom of PCOS, but I have been tested and checked for that and I'm clear they say, they can't say definitely that I have it.

 

[honeybee28]

how frustrating. Have you tried a different brand? Like the cb smiley face ones? What are you doing awake btw, isnt it like 4am?!xx

 

[tryforbaby2]

Mood, have you taken an hpt????

I dont want to discourage you, but I get very watery down there the day leading up to af. For your sake, I hope thats not the case.

I am not an animal person. I have a dog, pebbles, she is a lab retriever, and a very very good dog. She just loves attention, she also is 11 years old and turning gray. I just cant handle the shedding all year.....bad too.
I was thinking of getting my DD a yorkshire terrier for christmas. But then again, I pay $20 a month for pet rent where I live and I'd have to also pay $400 pet deposit for a new pet. Lots of money. We will wait and see.
I am just not an animal person, unless they are hairless, or very little hair, if they can clean up their own poo....lol

I hope its late implantation too honey love. But I just dont feel confident anymore. FF suggests a 'possible triphastic' chart on CD22 which would be 8dpo this cycle. So I am assuming it could 'possibly' look like implantation that day. Not holding out hope though. I took an opk instead of one of my frer and it sucks!

 

[tryforbaby2]

Em, how many hours ahead of me are you? Currently my time is 11:19am

 

[Moondance]

Yeah, its almost 4am.
I've been just being blah. Not going to bed.

I don't ever remember getting really watery right before AF before, usually, AF just comes on. I've had this wateryness all day, which is weird.

I haven't tried any other brands of OPK because the only ones I have are the ones I got on special several months ago. I can't really afford all the really good brand ones. So these ones are "forelife" brand.
I don't even know if they have the smiley faced ones here in australia.

This was my thread asking about my positive OPK sticks though:
"This definitely looks positive doesn't it?"


And I have done a few HPT's. They're really cheap things I got off ebay, like, 30 for $15. Not sure how good they are as they didn't even come with any paperwork.

 

[tryforbaby2]

I see.

I think they do have the digi opks there as I believe Soph uses them and I believe she is in Austraila as well. But they are pricey. I have been buying mine off ebay for almost half the price (almost.....half plus a few dollars)....but still.
Your opks seem to work just fine, its just the confusion of why so many strong positive opks?......
If wateryness is a new symptom for you, then fingers crossed!!! Would be awesome huh?!!!!

 

[honeybee28]

When you wrote that it was 11:19am, it was 4:19pm in the UK, so I must be 5 hours ahead of you. And Australia are 12 hours ahead of UK. Crazy huh!!!

Keeping my fx for you all.xxxx

 

[Moondance]

Still no AF this morning, but the wateryness has died down.

I really think FF is totally wrong.
Temp came back up too. Just above coverline.


ETA:
getting onto midday and no sign of AF.
But damn I'm gassy. I keep burping and everytime I burp I feel like I might vomit.


ETA:
Now I definitely feel pukey. The ice cream man just came around and I had a big a$$ sherbert and soft serve concoction. I feel ill. Like, really ill.

 

[tryforbaby2]

awww moon......did the sherbert not agree with you or dare we say it.......pregnant?

Yea, honeybee, I figured some of that out yesterday, I always wanted to know. Titi and I are in the same time zone, Jaimie, I believe is either 3 or 4 hours behind me, you are 5 hours ahead, Myturn is one hour behind I believe and so might be squirrelgirl, Soph and Moon are 17 hours ahead of me! I am not sure of others as I dont know where they are from......If there is someone from new york in the thread, like I thought there was then they would be in the same time zone as me and my neighbor!

 

[tryforbaby2]

Hows this for feeling like an ass:

I started our first annual Christmas letter last December and in the very last line of the letter states: "We are hoping to expand our family during the new year"......Well guess what? Now what the heck do I write when it's a whole year later???
Shall I write the same line (and people will know we are still trying) or not saying anything (and people will think we have given up).

Now I feel like an ass because who knew it would take me this long to have a baby to show!?.......

Any suggestions???

 

[Moondance]

Hows this for feeling like an ass:

I started our first annual Christmas letter last December and in the very last line of the letter states: "We are hoping to expand our family during the new year"......Well guess what? Now what the heck do I write when it's a whole year later???
Shall I write the same line (and people will know we are still trying) or not saying anything (and people will think we have given up).

Now I feel like an ass because who knew it would take me this long to have a baby to show!?.......

Any suggestions???

I would write the same line, but change it slightly, "we are still hoping to expand our family during the coming year as thus far we have not been blessed with a new addition" or something like that, so people know you're still trying. Because if you don't say anything, they're more than likely to just ask. Which is more annoying.

 

[Moondance]

Today I have been really gassy and felt gross. Every time I burp I think I'm going to vomit.

I still don't believe I'm PG though, as have no BFP thus far, and no other signs.
I think FF is just wrong wrong wrong as can be.

 

[tryforbaby2]

I am still no new to FF I really dont understand it yet.

I hope you feel better!!!!

I have to type up my letters very very soon and get them out.....thanks for the advice!

 

[tryforbaby2]

I am feeling as is af is on her way in. My temp took a plunge today.
I finally called my fertility specialist I had seen in April and had explained what happened. I had went in for my first exam and come out with a script to start clomid, IUI, HSG and my husbands semen anaylisis. My ovulation patterns were slightly wacky and though I should try clomid to bring it forth a bit and with a good strong egg. needless to say, DH was/is shy on the SA front, but by the time he was finally ready to do it (2 weeks later) I found out I was pregnant. He got away with it.

Lost the baby in July at 12 weeks, baby stopped growing at 9 weeks, had ultrasound of baby 2 days prior to unknown mc.

Now its over 5 months later and I have decided to call them and see IF I can still be a patient, since I technically conceived baby Jordan on our own.

They said since I MC'd, most definitely. So against a few factors, I made an appointment for next tuesday at 1pm to discuss what had happend since I was there last and if anything different should be done.

I know I am going to ball my eyes out discussing all this with my RE.

At least on the 'R' side that I can get the tests done to see what the issues are, if any more. I need to know if DH has an issue of any kind, and what natural ways of conception I can try; If there are any more out there.

But at least I am making another step forward. I am also planning on attending the adoption clinic tonight to hear about their fee-free adoptions and get some information.