Wishing, wanting, waiting.....TTC for a year PLUS!

[honeybee28]

Tryfor I'm so happy for you, that you taking steps forward down both roads. How are you feeling? I'm sorry it sounds like af is on her way, hope she forgets where you live.xxx

 

[tryforbaby2]

Nah, she wont forget where I live. She already rang me a few minutes ago saying she'll be bring her luggage in with her shortly.

Well thats it. I am just going to go to the doctor and look into adoption and see where things take me.

I am sick of trying, but I do realize I have plenty of time to have children, and great things take time. I am just more mentally exhausted over ttc than anything. I'd still like to keep trying but without thinking about it.

2 more sleeps........

 

[Moondance]

Well girls...
It's over.

My darling DP, who I've been with over for about 19 months or so now, has decided he wants to call it quits with me. We have never lived together, and most of the time when we spent time together, I would go to his home because it was easier for everyone, as I had my dad here to feed my dogs and my horse, but he didn't have anyone to feed his 9 horses and its a big job.
So last week, he stayed with me. I was a bit concerned that he would see the way I live and not be happy with me, but hey, thats the game you play right? You've gotta do it.
After all this time, after all these months TTC, after everything.... he's said that he doesn't see how he can fit into my life and vice versa. The breaking factor?
I have two kittens now.
And because I hate being alone, my two small dogs, Angel and Emmy, have always slept in my bed with me, and they slept at his feet when he stayed the night.

I said to him "well its a good thing I haven't managed to conceive thus far then, huh?"
He turned around and said "yeah, thats coz I don't think I can have kids"
so I said "what makes you think that?"
and he said "well its more likely me than you"
and I said "right, because you're healthy, fit and good condition, while I'm overweight, unfit and have had wonky cycles since age 11. I don't care if we can't have kids, it makes life easier to not keep trying so damn hard, I'd love to have kids, but I'd rather have you, the sweetest, kindest, most gentle man I've ever met and the one I'm in love with. Thats how you fit into my life, by being the man I love!"
He didn't say anything back.
So I don't know whats going on anymore.
But I think its over.

I think his daughter finding out about us last week just accelerated the whole ordeal. But he's using my animals as the excuse for not wanting to be with me anymore.
I've told him 100 times, if it wasn't for those animals that I love so passionately, I wouldn't be here now.
I would have quit life many years ago after being molested as a child, if it wasn't for the animals I adore.
Now he's using that against me to break up with me??

Something more has to be going on there, but I don't know. Right now, for whatever reasons, it looks like its over, despite the fact we were planning to have a child together and everything.

Does anyone else think this looks weird???

 

[honeybee28]

awww tryfor, stupid witch

moon, im so sorry honey. I dont really know what to say. I mean to me, if I loved someone enough to want a baby with them, the fact that they had 2 kittens wouldnt be a deal breaker, so maybe there are some other issues? But who knows? There certainly are some strange people out there. I hope you're ok.xxxx

 

[Moondance]

Its really got me beat honeybee... He won't even speak to me now, he's ignoring my messages and won't take my calls.
Yet when he was here last week, he was normal, seemed fine. Was actually playing with my dogs on the bed.
Them being on the bed certainly didn't deter him from getting it wet!


I just phoned him.... from a different number so he'd actually answer.
He says "I don't want to speak today. I'll speak to you tomorrow"
then he hung up.
WTH. I haven't DONE anything wrong!!!!

 

[tryforbaby2]

Moon, awww I am so sorry. I dont know what to say. But as you have said over and over again is that you do love those animals.

Yea, honeybee, she is on her way.....slowly but surely. I am very sick today, last night I vomitted, and today I am so tired, headache, sore throat, and nauseated......wonder what cold bug this is, but all I want to do is sleep.....but I have so much to do today......

TTY all later..........

 

[bbdreams]

Moon-I am so sorry you are going through that. I hope everything works out the way you want it to.

Tryfor-I am sorry about TRKM... I hate when she teases. I hope you stomach bug goes away quickly!

Love all you girls. Hope everyone is having a good day. I have been at home on snow days for two days and I am enjoying it sooooo much, but now I have papers to grade because I am sure we will have school tomorrow.

 

[honeybee28]

Feel better soon Julia
moon, what a nightmare. i hope he comes around
hey bbdreams, i love snow days. hope you get your grading done.

love you all too.xxx

 

[Titi]

girls-REALLY busy at work for last and next few days but just wanted to drop in and say I'm thinking of you-
Jules-: ( I am so sad and mad about the stupid witch....I hope you are doing okay.
Moon-same thing with your dp! That is an awful feeling and I'm sorry you have to go through right now........we're here for you hun.......be gentle to yourself!!!!
Honeybee-will be thinking and praying for you through the night!!!

Love to everyone else

 

[Moondance]

The truth is finally coming out today.

Apparently, and these are the only words he sent me, via Facebook, "what you wrote on Facebook caused a lot of trouble between myself and my family"

Nothing to state what specifically I wrote so I could explain it. I mean, god, to me, Facebook is a venting place. One of those places I write so much rubbish, sometimes because I'm angry, sometimes because I'm sad. I say whatever I say, and 95% of the time, its stuff I would never say IRL, its just rubbish because its the internet and I can vent and say what I want. People who judge other people based on what they write on Facebook are stupid.

But obviously I said something, damned if I know what it was. I texted him and replied to him on facebook saying "what specifically did I say on facebook that caused so much trouble?"
I'm confused, because half the time I say things when I'm angry on there, and then several hours later, I change my status because my mood has changed.
I DID tell him I have Borderline Personality Disorder. He continually reckons I don't.

 

[Ejay]

Tryfor - so sorry RKM is on the way, but really glad you have got a way forward x

Moon - so sorry about your OH, I hope you can talk things through with him and get to the bottom of what is going on xx

Honey - thinking of you today xxx

 

[Ejay]

Ok so here is a new ovulation symptom - feeling nauseous today!!

I am actually around CD12 or 13 (my ticker isn't right) so due to O any day soon, had a weird dream last night about eating 3 year old sugar puffs and have been feeling sick all morning.

oh TTC is such fun!

 

[Moondance]

He's being a total child. Refusing to answer my calls, or reply to my messages.
All I have is the single statement about how something I said on facebook caused problems for him and his family but I have no idea what he is talking about!!!

 

[tryforbaby2]

Moon-I am so sorry you are going through that. I hope everything works out the way you want it to.

Tryfor-I am sorry about TRKM... I hate when she teases. I hope you stomach bug goes away quickly!

Love all you girls. Hope everyone is having a good day. I have been at home on snow days for two days and I am enjoying it sooooo much, but now I have papers to grade because I am sure we will have school tomorrow.

She started heavier two nights ago and came ful swing yesterday. I'm ok, used to it. Aren't we all?.....Still sick and taking decongestion medication, I hope it doesnt mess up any future cm for me!!! I will be taking soy again this cycle to see if I O again real early!

Snow!!! I cant wait to see some here! enjoy your day!

Feel better soon Julia
moon, what a nightmare. i hope he comes around
hey bbdreams, i love snow days. hope you get your grading done.

love you all too.xxx

Today is the day Honeylove. Please keep us posted! I am praying to a sticky wriggly baby in there!!!!

girls-REALLY busy at work for last and next few days but just wanted to drop in and say I'm thinking of you-
Jules-: ( I am so sad and mad about the stupid witch....I hope you are doing okay.
Moon-same thing with your dp! That is an awful feeling and I'm sorry you have to go through right now........we're here for you hun.......be gentle to yourself!!!!
Honeybee-will be thinking and praying for you through the night!!!

Love to everyone else

Yea, I am ok. Thanks Sweets!!!

How are you on your cycle???

Ok so here is a new ovulation symptom - feeling nauseous today!!

I am actually around CD12 or 13 (my ticker isn't right) so due to O any day soon, had a weird dream last night about eating 3 year old sugar puffs and have been feeling sick all morning.

oh TTC is such fun!

Wohoo for a new symptom!!!!

 

[hopeful_mommy]

Good Morning!
I'm new to this site and am seriously getting frustrated TTC for over a year (started 05/09) mc 07/09 and had a couple months that we thought for sure it was our month....then af would show up, i'm usually pretty regular with it but the few months af was late and i had symptoms, my Doc thinks they are early mc and bean isn't sticking
Now I'm 9dpo and took a hpt 7dpo bc i cant wait anymore and it was BFN (expected) I had lots of symptoms including vomited 7dpo (hense the test) but tis the cold and flu season in Ontario lol

 

[Ejay]

Hi HopefulMommy, welcome. Definitely agree the TTC thing is very frustrating.

OH and I have been trying for nearly a year and a half, initial checks don't seem to show anything wrong.

The support from everyone on here is fab though xx

 

[SquirrelGirl]

Welcome, hopeful. TTC is just a blast, isn't it!

 

[tryforbaby2]

Welcome Hopeful! :wave:

Dh and I have been trying since July 2009 after NTNP for 4 years.

I also had a MC, had at 12 weeks that baby stopped growing at 9 weeks.

Everything related to TTC is very stressful at times but I have to agree with Ejay that these wonderful women on this thread are very supportive and just wonderful.

to you.

You may want to check out TTCAL thread (ttc after loss) or miscarriage support......amazing women there.

 

[soph77]

Morning my lovely ladies!!!!!
It has been so long, I have missed you terribly. I have been stalking but only allowed myself 1 minute to check in inthe mornings to see if anyone got knocked up!

Julia, I'm sorry the old witch got you hun, what a bitch! Did I read on facebook that it is Hailey's birthday tomorrow? You will have such a lovely day with her

Emily, I am so glad things went well at your scan. I was so worried and kept you in my thoughts xx

Welcome hopeful, you will love it here. This thread is full of the best ladies on BnB. I love them so much!

EJ, yay for O!!! Jump inthe sack and get bding!

Moon, I am so sorry that things fell apart with dp. Men can be such idiots sometimes. I hope he gets over himself soon and has a proper talk with you so you can find out what the hell is going on. Spend some extra quality time with your animals to help you heal in this time x

AFM - O was confirmed today so I am 3dpo. I thought I was going to have anovulatory cycle this time for a couple of days because my temps were not correlating with my monitor or microscope. I think the stress of the last week of school might have delayed it for a couple of days. Also have my MIL staying with us for a while. She fell down some stairs and broke her wrist, shoulder and 5 ribs so can't manage by herself yet. Has made bding tricky. DH says I am too noisy Managed to get a couple in, I hope it is enough. I have 2 days left of school before HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!! The weather in Queensland has been really shit, it had better clear up before our camping trip on the island next week. I don't really care if it rains a bit or at night, I just don't want it to rain all day, every day! Apparently, if the weather turns really bad while you are on the island the boat won't pick you up! We might get stranded and have to spend christmas there!! Anyway, the weather does seem to be turning around so we should be fine. We are really looking forward to it

 

[honeybee28]

hey guys. noodle is 6mm big with a hb! yey! Im 6+1 so well behind my date of 8+4 based on lmp. Long cycle and late implantation i guess!

hi hopeful, welcome, these are the nicest most lovely must helpful girls ever, you'll be well looked after!!

Julia im so excited about your dd's birthday, i bet she is too right?!?!

soph im sorry about your mil, that sucks. Yey I bet your so excited about your trip, that island looks soooo fab!!

ejay, have fun!!

moon am hoping he'll start acting like a grown up and talk to you soon.

Love you guys sooooooo much!!xxxx