Wishing, wanting, waiting.....TTC for a year PLUS!

[tryforbaby2]

Hey girls! Lets get out of our funk and start a new thread for us that we can make LUCKY! We have all been TTC for a year or MORE and its time to FINALLY become pregnant! We have known each other and have gotten to know each other very well over the last 6 months and more. This is it girls. This is finally OUR time and we DESERVE to be OUTSTANDING Mothers with the blessings of happy and healthy children. I love you all!!

WISHING.....WANTING......WAITING.....​

St. David's Infertility Prayer

Thank you, Lord, for all the blessings in my life. Help me to remember them as I face the challenges of infertility. I pray that I can surrender myself into your hands. Let me accept the reality of this situation and have the wisdom and courage to take action where I can. Strengthen my body, mind and spirit to endure the trials of infertility. Keep me ever mindful of the needs of others and grant us your peace. Amen.​

Previously TTHF. TTHF has not had any new lucky 's and we are eager to turn our luck around. Welcome current TTHF TTCers!!!​

​

 

[honeybee28]

Hey girly! I'm 3 weeks short of a year - can I hang out anyways?!xxxx

 

[Annamumof2]

oooooh found it hun, and i am here, nice name and i hope that we will get that 2010 BFP

 

[Dee7509]

I'm here! LUCKY LUCKY THREAD! Hope this does the trick

Love the prayer Julia.

 

[soph77]

I'm 2 weeks shy of a year too!!!!
I don't care I am going to stay anyways
I am going to have to do some siggy revamping.

 

[soph77]

Emily I have acu on Saturday too, but my Saturday is before your Saturday! (pokes out tongue) tried to find a poke out tongue smilie but couldn't so....
We can compare acu notes I am so looking forward to it. Although I don't think our fertility problems lie with me

Ok, I need to tell you girls something I have been wanting to say for a little while but I am afraid you will judge me/us. I am hoping that you will understand and not think too harshly of us because I need to get it off my chest.

My husband has a bit of a problem with smoking pot. There I have said it. I hate it, don't smoke it. I played around with it when I was a teenager but never really liked it. I did however form an addiction to another drug in my early 20's which I overcame so I do understand addiction. I think I understand drug addiction very well and I think that some people struggle more than others. I think I was very lucky and I really feel for my husband.

He never smokes around me or the kids, he sneaks off into the shed and yes, I know that is not good enough. His smoking has been a bone of contention between us forever but I fell too deeply in love with him before I realised how bad it was.

He has stopped several times during our relationship but it has never lasted. He sneaked around and lied about smoking and really hurt me more than once. He feels bloody awful about doing that to me but I know that it is the addiction, not him.

I've asked him to stop for baby making and he has tried but only half-arsed. This all came to a head a few weeks ago when I saw my dr and he said dh had to get a sa. dh freaked out about it and when he calmed down to talk about it he said he actually wants to stop smoking and how about he does that and if that doesn't work by xmas he will get the sa then. I was really happy and him stopping is the most important thing. That is why I am not really stressing out about ttc at the moment.

Anyway, he stopped last wed/thurs and he is now in a total crisis. He cried on Friday morning because he thought there was something wrong with him. He said he had been all dizzy and light headed all week and he had a bad feeling that there was something really wrong with him, like a major illness. He was really worried and freaked me out.

I sent him off to the dr who checked him out thoroughly but said he is in perfect health. he took a bunch of bloods anyway just to be sure, but we have not heard back so nothing came up in them either. We go back in a week for another check up.

The dr said it is all symptomatic of his pot smoking addiction and coming off it, which I agree. He said he is actually more worried about how worried he is about it and he wants to monitor him closely to make sure he does not get depressed. dh can't see it though, he still thinks there is something wrong with him. He is at the age now that his dad dropped dead. He is terrified of leaving me and the boys behind.

He has done really well and not smoked anything!! He even asked me to get rid of the little bit that he had left. I went as far as driving it around the the shopping centre and putting it in the industrial bins there!! I had to get it well away from the house so he wouldn't be temped to dig it out of the bin. And it was not because I don't trust him, it is the addiction that would drive him to do it.

He also talked to his dr about us trying for a baby. His dr basically said to him, well there is your problem, your sperm are f***ed up. This I kind of deep down knew, but was hoping against hope that there would be some strong survivors to do the job. He of course feels like he has failed me and the guilt compounds his problems.

He is an absolute mess, I am really worried about him but as awful as this sounds - I really hope he has hit rock bottom because only then will he be able to get better. I really think he has hit it. I hate seeing him go through this, but it is for the greater good.

I just hope that he starts to feel a little better as the days go on and can see that this feeling is symptomatic and he is not dying. He has gone back to work today. I think that is for the best because it will keep him busy instead of moping around the house. I took yesterday off to finish some school work and spent the whole day looking after him, so I had to take today off too to catch up on what I did not do yesterday!!!


Thanks for letting me vent. On another note, think I Oed yesterday. Throughout all this mess I got a couple of killer bd sessions in!! I found something else that takes his mind off it

 

[honeybee28]

Oh Soph I don't really know what to say. I've never smoked it, or anything for that matter, so I have no idea what he's going through, but I hope he comes through the other side of this really soon. Its so great that he wants to quit. On the sperm side of things, defo worth having the sa done to see what you're dealing with? My dh drinks really heavily, I assumed it would have had an affect but his sa is perfect.

Hope you're ok hun. Always here if you want a chat.xxxx

 

[tryforbaby2]

Soph I have always heard any addiction will have an influence on sperm and women reproductive systems as well (if women partake). I used to fiddle around with it as a kid myself, no thanks to my step dad either who would give me some and not care if I did it anyway. However the reason I think we are having a hard time conceiveing is also because of addiction.

Right after my daughter was born, my husband (then my fiance) started to 'quietly' meddle with prescriptions which then turned to stronger prescriptions which then in turn turned to heroin. Four years. Four years of my life I struggled with stress, lost 60+ pounds of weight because I was A) too stressed out B) had barely enough money to get by. Hailey was my main priority. He was in dozens and dozens of rehabs, we had nothing for years and I stayed to help with his addiction because I love him and still do. Even though he was a monster (from the drugs) I knew he was a good person. My mother also was a gambling addict and using crack with my step father. My mother served some time in prison (jail) for her actions. My husband never really got into trouble because I fixed everything, all the time. Over two years ago was the last treatment place my husband went to and has been sober ever since. Doesnt think about it. Nothing. Living for today. Whats sad? He doesnt remember getting married, or Haileys first steps or crawling or words......nothing. I didnt find out it was Heroin until November after we got married.
Whew. I so had to get that off my chest. Please dont judge me either. The only person who knew this was Jaimie. I told her last year, I think before I met you wonderful women, and she has been such a blessing to have never said anything.
The point of my story is that I think its because of 'that' that I think something is wrong with his sperm, and thats why I can't get pregnant. CORRECTION: I guess I can but it won't stick. Who knows?
Addiction to drugs, alcohol and such are so very common, it depends how we handle it and how we move on and how the addiction is put to rest.
My husband does meetings occassionally, we have the serenity prayer on our living room wall, he wears our holy cross around his neck with the seneity prayer etched on it. He kneels at the side of the bed every morning and every night to pray for the same thing every single day: Sobriety. Begins it and ends it in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit.
He is a very good man and so strong to overcome those obstacles. It truly was a living nightmare for years.
Soph, I applaud you for being there for him and being a wonderful woman. I believe if he truly wants to quit, truly not because of being forced, he will do it.

 

[tryforbaby2]

We can all be here! We are all former TTHFrs! BUT NO NEWBIES ALLOWED! Not ones with drop in BFP's anyway!!!

 

[Lucie73821]

Hi there. I wasn't in your other thread but we've been ttc for 15 months. Dh was just diagnosed with a Varicocele and is scheduled to have it repaired later this month. I have done 3 cycles of clomid and 2 cycles of soy. Is it ok if I join you ladies?

 

[Annamumof2]

We can all be here! We are all former TTHFrs! BUT NO NEWBIES ALLOWED! Not ones with drop in BFP's anyway!!!

*runs in shows a BFP and runs back off*

just kidding lol not yet im in the 2ww i hope now

 

[tryforbaby2]

Hi there. I wasn't in your other thread but we've been ttc for 15 months. Dh was just diagnosed with a Varicocele and is scheduled to have it repaired later this month. I have done 3 cycles of clomid and 2 cycles of soy. Is it ok if I join you ladies?

You are not going to run in with a BFP and leave are you?
We have had alot of priors who have popped in with bfps and left!


Welcome!! We are usually a bunch of very wonderful, nice women who have become a family over the past year or so.

We can all be here! We are all former TTHFrs! BUT NO NEWBIES ALLOWED! Not ones with drop in BFP's anyway!!!

*runs in shows a BFP and runs back off*

just kidding lol not yet im in the 2ww i hope now

I'd have to kick your tushy!!! You have been around for a while too! Don't be silly!


AFM, I feel very old and decrepted today. I have some medium back pain and havent slept good in a few days. Must be because of the witch and her crazy antics. I am always waking up to run to the bathroom to make sure nothing has wandered too far a stray. CD3 for me today and lets see where this cycle will take me this time. 32 days? 45 days? 26 days?

Honey, my plan for this cycle is to BD for 3-4 days straight leading up to O and the day of and maybe 2 days after. I am hoping this will work. I will try not to tire him out leading out to that.


Hey Dee!!! This, for sure,must be a LUCKY LUCKY thread.
to all!

 

[tryforbaby2]

Can anyone teach me how to make a banner for our new thread? I really want to make something pretty with purples and pinks and maybe some blues, saying our thread name and something else very special. Does anyone know how to do it??? Please let me know! Hope everyones day is going great! Love ya's!

 

[Dee7509]

for those of you who have poured your heart out. Hope it makes your load a little lighter to share your worries.


Fortunately for us, DH and I have both led very sheltered lives and have not had to deal with these issues. It is good that your spouses are both working on it and I wish them lots of luck in recovering.

I agree with Honey that it is a good idea to do the SA to know what you are dealing with. I do understand though that things take time and you do need to feel ready when conducting these tests. We are in the unexplained infertility category at the moment and I have really had to prepare myself to do first, blood tests and then HSG and even to try clomid as it is always a big and difficult decision for me.

Edited to add the last two paragraphs.

 

[Jaimie2Eyes]

ladies I think it is GREAT that we are starting this thread off with some concerns we've kept secret. I'm just in awe at how close we've gotten during our time together

Anna - that was hilarious - I think the gals that have been trying for this long are entitled to do pop in BFPs to all the other threads totally kidding, but that would be pretty funny : )

Soph - my DH and I both partake from time to time. Before TTC we were card carrying pot heads but didn't have any problem cutting back for trying. I've pretty much eliminated it except for a few good concerts. DH has cut back to once every two weeks or so. We had to have a few conversations about it when his SA results were borderline. But his results for the IUI we just did were fine, so I definitely think it helped to cut back. I really feel for you because it wasn't anywhere near the sort of hurdle for us that it seems to be for your DH. I hope he feels better soon - his symptoms may very well be a side effect of detoxing and getting all that out of his system. There definitely seems to be some anxiety from his Dad's passing at this age. I think this is a great thing for both of you and I hope he is able to stay strong

Wow Julia - that was an amazing thing to share so openly. That is such a tough addiction. I told you how my brother works in a testing and treatment center, right? The vast majority of their clients started on prescription medications and then got hooked on the rough stuff. You've been through so much with all of your family members. It really makes you appreciate how valuable life is, and how important it is to raise children with the self esteem and emotional fulfillment that will help them live healthy lives.

Hi Lucie! I've seen you on other threads for male factor issues I think? I hope the procedure goes well and that he heals quickly.

Dee - I didn't realize the witch got you this cycle

Good luck with the acu Soph and HoneyBee! I hope it is nice and relaxing

My interview is for a fairly good job at a place where a good friend works. I'd be managing various environmental projects for a government agency that makes multi-municipality coalitions. It would be great to get this job but what I'm really hoping to do is get back into academia as an assistant prof or postdoc...we'll see what happens! For some reason I'm not too fussed about this job search ~ probably because so much of my attention span is spent on TTC that I don't have the energy to care!

 

[honeybee28]

Welcome Lucie!!! I like new people, that understand what we're going through. Sounds like you totally do! How are you today?

Julia...... totally wow....... I nearly cried reading that. You guys are amazing to have fought through that and come out the other side still totally in love. I'm in awe.

Jaimie joo, I hope that whatever you want to happen, happens, with this job. I totally believe everything happens for a reason, so if it doesnt happen, it's for a jolly good reason!

Im sooooo glad im home from work. Got to study though, final exam on monday yikes.

hi everyone else !!

xxxx

 

[Annamumof2]

Hi there. I wasn't in your other thread but we've been ttc for 15 months. Dh was just diagnosed with a Varicocele and is scheduled to have it repaired later this month. I have done 3 cycles of clomid and 2 cycles of soy. Is it ok if I join you ladies?

You are not going to run in with a BFP and leave are you?
We have had alot of priors who have popped in with bfps and left!


Welcome!! We are usually a bunch of very wonderful, nice women who have become a family over the past year or so.

We can all be here! We are all former TTHFrs! BUT NO NEWBIES ALLOWED! Not ones with drop in BFP's anyway!!!

*runs in shows a BFP and runs back off*

just kidding lol not yet im in the 2ww i hope now

I'd have to kick your tushy!!! You have been around for a while too! Don't be silly!


AFM, I feel very old and decrepted today. I have some medium back pain and havent slept good in a few days. Must be because of the witch and her crazy antics. I am always waking up to run to the bathroom to make sure nothing has wandered too far a stray. CD3 for me today and lets see where this cycle will take me this time. 32 days? 45 days? 26 days?

Honey, my plan for this cycle is to BD for 3-4 days straight leading up to O and the day of and maybe 2 days after. I am hoping this will work. I will try not to tire him out leading out to that.


Hey Dee!!! This, for sure,must be a LUCKY LUCKY thread.
to all!

oooo i will like that

 

[Annamumof2]

ladies I think it is GREAT that we are starting this thread off with some concerns we've kept secret. I'm just in awe at how close we've gotten during our time together

Anna - that was hilarious - I think the gals that have been trying for this long are entitled to do pop in BFPs to all the other threads totally kidding, but that would be pretty funny : )

Soph - my DH and I both partake from time to time. Before TTC we were card carrying pot heads but didn't have any problem cutting back for trying. I've pretty much eliminated it except for a few good concerts. DH has cut back to once every two weeks or so. We had to have a few conversations about it when his SA results were borderline. But his results for the IUI we just did were fine, so I definitely think it helped to cut back. I really feel for you because it wasn't anywhere near the sort of hurdle for us that it seems to be for your DH. I hope he feels better soon - his symptoms may very well be a side effect of detoxing and getting all that out of his system. There definitely seems to be some anxiety from his Dad's passing at this age. I think this is a great thing for both of you and I hope he is able to stay strong

Wow Julia - that was an amazing thing to share so openly. That is such a tough addiction. I told you how my brother works in a testing and treatment center, right? The vast majority of their clients started on prescription medications and then got hooked on the rough stuff. You've been through so much with all of your family members. It really makes you appreciate how valuable life is, and how important it is to raise children with the self esteem and emotional fulfillment that will help them live healthy lives.

Hi Lucie! I've seen you on other threads for male factor issues I think? I hope the procedure goes well and that he heals quickly.

Dee - I didn't realize the witch got you this cycle

Good luck with the acu Soph and HoneyBee! I hope it is nice and relaxing

My interview is for a fairly good job at a place where a good friend works. I'd be managing various environmental projects for a government agency that makes multi-municipality coalitions. It would be great to get this job but what I'm really hoping to do is get back into academia as an assistant prof or postdoc...we'll see what happens! For some reason I'm not too fussed about this job search ~ probably because so much of my attention span is spent on TTC that I don't have the energy to care!

hell i will be lucky if i get it this cycle and if i do skye might get jelous as it will be due the start of july and she was born end of july lol

 

[honeybee28]

i meant to say julia i dont know how to make a banner but I would LOVE someone to make us one! that would be so cool.

God just had a depressing thought - it's my 30th birthday at the end of july next year. if i dont get knocked up this cycle, i wont give birth in my 20s. Not that it matters or anything, just in my head i always pictured myself holding my baby at my 30th party. ah well. So long as i get to have a baby at some point in the nearish future, i guess that's all that matters.

xxx

 

[Dee7509]

Honey, don't get me started hun...the way things are looking I'll consider myself lucky if I have one before I'm forty.

Thanks Jaime. GL with the job prospect!

Julia - don't know how to do banners either.