Worried about infection after loss and ERPC at 14 weeks PG

[allmuddledup]

Yeah, you said it. Seeing those 2 lines is a real kick in the guts knowing that baby is gone.

At this point, the last two times, I was champing at the bit, rearing to go and get back to TTC (I think that is a very normal response, actually) and I was SO frustrated at having to wait. This time I just feel broken. I want to be able to regain the physical intimacy with my partner that has been put on hold, but I think I will be terrified next time if I see 2 lines again (at the right time, that is) because for me, it's started to mean that it could all result in this... heartbreak and loss and utter hopelessness.

That said, in theory, I haven't given up hope, but there is a little part of me that is pleading quietly from the background to just give up because I can't take it if this happens again. Thank you inner voice for the vote of confidence. Does anyone else have doubts about TTC again?

 

[poppy666]

Im scared to get my BFP again then MC again i dont think i could emotionally deal with that too soon after losing this one, but i dont want to wait a few cycles either... i fully understand how scared you must be because you suffered two so must be heartbreaking your one brave lady

 

[Suze]

I'm absolutely with you on the ttc reservations.
With my last baby I swore I would never ever be in a scan room being given that crap news but then of course I was so quickly wanting to ttc again (OH thought I was weird) and fell pg again within 3 months.
This time round I felt even more so, and my OH too that there is only so much one can go through...however I have to say already my maternal instincts are kicking in again

Does your OH share your reservations?

 

[allmuddledup]

Fortunately, me and my OH are pretty much on the same page... Heartbroken over our losses (the latest one being the worst for both of us by far) but not ready to give up hope.

We have agreed that we want to at least NTNP (which for us is code for TTC but pretending we're not) once I've gotten my first period after this loss. He doesn't want me to obsess over temps and tests because he sees how stressed out I get from it. I don't want to start obsessing again either. I think I am much more likely to conceive if I can just chill out. I told him I'll try to avoid charting and testing for at least a couple of months if he can supply the goods every 2 to 3 days to ensure that we have a decent chance of conceiving. I wonder who will break first!

Anyway, we're both scared of losing another baby or going through what we have just been through again, but neither of us are ready to give up hope of having a baby together either. I guess we've just got to hope for the best and keep on trying!

 

[Suze]

That sounds like a good plan if he has agreed to 'supply the goods' every 2-3 days in which case you shouldn't really need to chart or opt. We're the same, I used to tell my OH that I had a positive opt but I don't think he wants to know this time, mind you he'll get suspicious when I suggest as we only really do it when we're ttc

 

[allmuddledup]

Hah. We definitely less when I am in my non-fertile times of the month but even less during those times when I am charting. Still, that said, we have a pretty healthy life and I am really looking forward to getting back to it once this infection clears and I stop bleeding. We haven't been able to do it at all since we lost Gerri as I didn't want to risk getting an infection and now that actually I have one, I don't want to hamper my chances of a clean recovery... so we wait.

I think my OH definitely felt pressured when I would tell him it was a good time to . It definitely would take him longer to "supply the goods" when the pressure was on as well. I think we will both be better off for a while if we just NTNP and I leave the charting alone for a while. That said, I will probably start to go mad a few days into my new cycle if I don't know what my BBT is. Doh.

 

[allmuddledup]

Well, this is Day 14 A.G. (After Gerri) and this morning at 6:30 am I did another HPT with my FMU and was relieved to see the line continuing to fade. I think yesterday's heavy bleed may have had something to do with it. I would wager that by this time next week all traces of her will probably be gone. I have very mixed feelings about that.

Just for reference, I looked back at my records from my first two losses and I noticed that my period came about 3 weeks after all HCG was out of my system in both cases. That is the only real constant between the two experiences as they were very different otherwise (ectopic vs blighted ovum, bled for 20+ days vs spotted for less than a week, Vastly different HCG levels, etc). If my previous experiences are any point of reference, then I should hopefully have gotten my first period by mid-February, depending on how many more days it takes for Gerri's HCG to leave my system.

I need a tissue. I hope everyone else has had a good start to a new day. xox

 

[poppy666]

Thats great news sweetie i wasnt bleeding after my bath last night so decided to DTD but got disturbed and didnt finish but woke up this morning to more bleeding and really bad af pains arghh just taken some painkillers x

 

[allmuddledup]

Oh Poppy, renewed bleeding and pain at this stage is worrying. If the pains don't subside you should talk to your GP (or whomever you are supposed to ring) asap. You may have an infection. If all is going as it should your bleeding should have tapered off by now and there shouldn't be any pain by this point. The possible culprits are retained pregnancy tissue or infection (or both!). Please talk to your doctor if the pain persists.

 

[poppy666]

Will ring epu tomorrow, its just like a really bad period, bleeding still light but it stopped last night till i DTD maybe tissue trying to get out or infection? see what they say x

 

[Suze]

Can I just ask you both s bit of a tmi question, the bleeding, did it have a weird metallic smell to it?! The bleeding I had immediately after the erpc didn't but this new lot has....

 

[poppy666]

OMG Suze im just this minute googling that kind of question now cos i can smell the blood now when i go bathroom to change pad and i never really smell the blood on my period unless its cos i usually use tampons x

 

[allmuddledup]

I've been able to smell the blood since I was in hospital so I'm probably not the best person to ask (overly sensitive nose). I think the blood (both red and brown) around the time the infection was playing up had a stronger odor than before though. Metallic is one word that could be used to describe it. Don't know if that helps. How you ladies doing now?

 

[poppy666]

Im ok thanks cramps calmed down now just feel like im on a period

You ok? x

 

[Suze]

I'm at the docs for my flu jab in the morning so will ask about thus bleeding. Could you actually be on a period poppy, I'm confused as to whether that's biologically possible!
I'm pleased you said the smell could be described as metallic.
I'm also feeling really low today so wonder if my hormones have taken a further tumble, I hope so
to you both

 

[pip7890]

to you all. Sorry you're having a hard time. It's difficult as it is without prolonged bleeding and infections.

Pip x

 

[allmuddledup]

This is Day 15 for me now and my HPT this morning only showed the faintest positive result possible. I also haven't had any bleeding or spotting for nearly 24 hours. I was looking back at my diary from my last loss and saw that (between HPTs and blood tests) the HCG was fully out of my system about 3 days after the last day I got a positive result and then my period came about 3 weeks after that. Based on all that, I am hoping to see AF within about 4 weeks. I really hope I do. I'm feeling a bit better emotionally today. Not as depressed as I have been since we said goodbye to Gerri and for once I don't feel too guilty about feeling better. I hope today is looking up for you lovely ladies as well.

 

[poppy666]

Awww sweetie

I rang EPU explained i spotted brown for 10 days after erpc, stopped for 3 days and got ov pains etc then started bleeding lightly again with small clots etc.. she said its my af i asked her arnt you ment to stop bleeding totally for 20 days before af and she said ' no some women will not have a break after spotting and will go on to have there af straight away'

She said sounded like i ov'd early then straight onto my 1st period, unless i get a fever, really heavy bleeding or its too prolonged im fine x

So CD5 for me, plus i did a IC 10miu and was negative, but after the time lapse there was a veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy faint line but im not counting that x

 

[allmuddledup]

That is such great news Poppy. Lucky you, getting AF back so soon. Must be one of the exceptions to the rule! I won't be hoping for any miracles here, just to get AF back in February. I have PCOS so any period for me is good news. Argh. Never thought I'd say that. Hah.

I wanted to tell you as well that I nearly ordered some Soy Isoflavons yesterday when I ran across something that stopped me... I take vitex (I get Femaprin from the USA) which has helped my cycles to become a little more regular and apparently you aren't supposed to mix these two supplements lest they cancel each other out. I've got about a three month supply of Femaprin left so I think I will see it through and if no BFP by then I may change tactics and try Soy Isoflavons (assuming my Gyne doesn't have me on clomid by that time).

Do you take any other supplements yourself? I'd be interested to know what homeopathic cocktails other ladies are trying. I take fish oil, pregnacare conception, 5mg folic acid, raspberry leaf, wheatgerm oil and vitex (Femaprin) everyday. I dropped the Femaprin and raspberry leaf while I was pregnant of course but started them up again a few days after we said goodbye to Gerri. I hope they help my body get back on track as well as before.

 

[poppy666]

Soy has helped a lot of ladies with PCOS sweetie, if you want to try it i can help as much as i can sweetie

I dont take any supplements, all i took last time was folic acid, Soy and used Preseed, just going to start the folic again tomorrow i think x