so just a brief recap of my situation for those that don't know, so you can skip this first paragraph if you already know... been married 8 years, husband is 30 and I will be soon as well. A few years ago my husband actually brought up the topic of having a baby and I didn't feel super rushed to have one then and neither did he, so we settled on "a year from now." And then in that year we ended up moving across the country unexpectedly due to husband's job and suddenly his desire for a baby went away while mine grew. His reason was settling in, and spending more time together after a stressful transition for him in his job. Being suddenly 100% ready at the same time he suddenly wasn't was devastating. He has still continued to feel that way and say vague things like "theres no rush" and "it'll all work out" and the like.
So I've spent the last 2 years pining for a baby I also made sure we spent lots of quality time together and plan fun dates for us all the time, trying to fulfill his need of thinking we need to "spend more time together." Just really growing together as a couple. I do not bring up TTC very often at all.
Anyways, we have a small trip I planned for us next week over new years. I want to bring up the topic of having a baby during this trip, since it will be right in the midst of "spending time together!" We haven't discussed a baby in several months, nearly a year actually, and I think it's time we revisit it. I'm not worried about anger or anything like that, in fact I think he will be open to talking about it. I'm just worried he will say something like "yeah, how about a year from now?" In fact I STRONGLY feel that he will. Since we are already 2 years past our original "a year from now" goal date (so 3 years from the original talk), I just do not want to wait that long. I don't need to RIGHT now (well, I do want to... but I can compromise for him) so I was thinking about suggesting TTC at the beginning of the summer. Like May or June. PLus "a year from now" seems so non-definitive and non-committal.
My question is, what if he is firmly set on "a year from now"? I mean, we both have to be ready, I can't force him. But I would like to be pregnant at 30. Just sucks that he was ready at one point, and now isn't. I've already thought of some things in my arsenal, like bringing up our age, the maths of wanting multiple kids and spacing between siblings and 9 months pregnancy and the possibility of a fertility problem. I am just sooo nervous about this talk next week.
So I've spent the last 2 years pining for a baby I also made sure we spent lots of quality time together and plan fun dates for us all the time, trying to fulfill his need of thinking we need to "spend more time together." Just really growing together as a couple. I do not bring up TTC very often at all.
Anyways, we have a small trip I planned for us next week over new years. I want to bring up the topic of having a baby during this trip, since it will be right in the midst of "spending time together!" We haven't discussed a baby in several months, nearly a year actually, and I think it's time we revisit it. I'm not worried about anger or anything like that, in fact I think he will be open to talking about it. I'm just worried he will say something like "yeah, how about a year from now?" In fact I STRONGLY feel that he will. Since we are already 2 years past our original "a year from now" goal date (so 3 years from the original talk), I just do not want to wait that long. I don't need to RIGHT now (well, I do want to... but I can compromise for him) so I was thinking about suggesting TTC at the beginning of the summer. Like May or June. PLus "a year from now" seems so non-definitive and non-committal.
My question is, what if he is firmly set on "a year from now"? I mean, we both have to be ready, I can't force him. But I would like to be pregnant at 30. Just sucks that he was ready at one point, and now isn't. I've already thought of some things in my arsenal, like bringing up our age, the maths of wanting multiple kids and spacing between siblings and 9 months pregnancy and the possibility of a fertility problem. I am just sooo nervous about this talk next week.