worried I'll be judged....

[Lara310809]

can i ask why you wont give it a try? have you considered pumping if not directly Breastfeeding? If you pump, you and OH can still give baby a bottle, etc and baby can still get the good stuff. Its a lot of work i know, but it is an option However if thats not a route you choose, its ok- baby has to be fed either way!

I don't want this to come across the wrong way but why should she tell anyone why she doesn't want to try and breastfeed. It is a personal and private choice. When people ask you a question like that or say to you 'i do think everyone should try to breastfeed' it makes you feel guilty without them meaning too.

xoily i had the same reaction as you to not breastfeeding

i don't know what it is i know ALOT of people who've had babies yet i don't know anyone who's breastfed.. no women in my family breastfed.. maybe it differs due to area/upbringing/class etc .. i don't know! it's definitely not a big issue with the people i know x

I know a lot of women here of my mum's generation were advised to use formula because it was marketed as being superior to BM, and even now they believe it, so they actually tell you your baby is lagging behind if you BF I was told that when someone came to visit me in the hospital when LO was 1 day old. I was told then that she was lagging behind and that's why she was small. WTF, she'd only been out of the womb 24 hours, am I supposed to feed her up until she pops?

 

[pip holder]

If you have fully equipped yourself with the information you needed to make this decision then fine, tell people politely and firmly that your reasons are your own and you will be using formula.

I had no real feelings on it during my pregnancy - I was going to give BFing a go and if I could, I could - if not but after the babs arrived I felt differently and wanted desperatly to try, you may not - doesn't make any one of us better or worse.

The only bit of advice I'd give you is to grow a thicker skin - being a mum means that people will constantly 'advise' you, even those closest to you and you will constantly feel judged, but you'll be doing a great job

 

[Lara310809]

being a mum means that people will constantly 'advise' you, even those closest to you

And strangers in the street will ask you if you're BF, and then will continue to lecture you about the benefits. People you've never even met before giving you a guilt trip!

 

[moomin_troll]

yes i agree!
apparently when ur a mum everyone else knows better and knows more then u despite the fact they might not even have kids of their own lol

 

[WW1]

You need to do what you feel is right, whether that is to FF from the start or to try to BF and see how it goes. It is entirely your decision. There are people who judge (although I've found far more judgement online than in real life to be honest!) but you learn to ignore them. You get judged for everything anyway - as others have said; your child, your rules!

As long as you are comfortable with your decision then don't worry what others think or say

 

[Lara310809]

being a mum means that people will constantly 'advise' you, even those closest to you

And strangers in the street will ask you if you're BF, and then will continue to lecture you about the benefits. People you've never even met before giving you a guilt trip!

 

[bluebaby]

can i ask why you wont give it a try? have you considered pumping if not directly Breastfeeding? If you pump, you and OH can still give baby a bottle, etc and baby can still get the good stuff. Its a lot of work i know, but it is an option However if thats not a route you choose, its ok- baby has to be fed either way!

I don't want this to come across the wrong way but why should she tell anyone why she doesn't want to try and breastfeed. It is a personal and private choice. When people ask you a question like that or say to you 'i do think everyone should try to breastfeed' it makes you feel guilty without them meaning too.

xoily i had the same reaction as you to not breastfeeding

i don't know what it is i know ALOT of people who've had babies yet i don't know anyone who's breastfed.. no women in my family breastfed.. maybe it differs due to area/upbringing/class etc .. i don't know! it's definitely not a big issue with the people i know x

No one I know has had any issue with me not breastfeeding and like you never realised it was a big issue untill I came on here and this was when I ran into this debate. Where I am half my friends breastfeed and half bottle feed but neither influenced me in the slightest, in fact we never talked about it. When I was pregnant I did do my research and decided that breastfeeding wasn't for me or my baby and my midwife did ask me if I was going to breastfeed and I said no. She said to me that was fine she would have had more of an issue if i was smoking or drinking during pregnancy and I never heard anything about it again.

Pipholder is right, people do try to influence you, not just on breastfeeding but how to wean, how they sleep, dummies, everything you can think of but at the end of the day only you know best for your situation and your baby

 

[ProzacQueen]

i have to agree with bluebaby. in other words its noone elses business why the OP doesnt want to BF and im pretty sure she is well aware of the benefits and of pumping/expressing...as i am myself as i know its rammed down my throat everytime i see my MW, yet I will still choose to FF.


motherhood = judgement. Next step will be the weaning debate and what age to start - you'll be shot down in flames if you start before 6 months. then when LO is a toddler you'll be judged if you give them a fruit shoot. it doesnt ever stop

the trick is to let it go over your head and nod and smile really! how can anyone else possibley tell you whats best for you and your baby? only you know that.

 

[katy1310]

It's completely your decision - your baby and your body. You have to do whatever you feel comfortable with. As someone told me, happy mummy = happy baby.

I was never sure whether I would bf or not, then when I got pregnant I decided I might try it because then I would know I'd given it a go - easier to change your mind that way round than go straight onto formula and wish you'd tried bf. then Sophie was born premature and I was told that breastmilk was much easier for her to digest so I expressed for 12 weeks and then breastfed her when she got home, but I was struggling with it and having to do lots of top ups with formula. The health visitor made me feel a bit pressurised to bf but last weekend after a LOT of thinking and worrying I decided to put her onto formula because I was really getting stressed out with the constant feeding and Sophie not settling at all after bf.

Formula is working well for us and I told the hv this morning that we'd done that. She gave me a wee bit of a lecture about formula top ups being the beginning of the end! but then was ok - and in the end it is nobody decision but the mum's! xxx

 

[Rockandroll]

I am very new on here and just starting out on the journey, but I am 100% sure I will bottle feed. And yes, I do expect stick, and no, I couldn't care less. Society seems to regard pregnant women as fair game, to bully and pressure as they like. As a woman, pregnant or not, I make my OWN decisions about my own body and my family. Nobody else. I am self-employed and will need to be back working ASAP after delivery, plus I want to involve family and friends in the feeding. Not to mention that I have a back condition and after delivery I may very well be unable to get about without painkillers!

Really, don't let it get to you. A dear friend of mine who is a total earth mother and was such a BF machine while pregnant that she actually donated spare milk, heard of my bottle feeding decision - she said "listen, how you meet your baby's needs isn't important. It's meeting them that's important." So really, it's not so important where the milk comes from, as long as it's given to the baby. There's no right way to bring up a baby, despite what the establishment might want us to believe. YOUR way is the right way. Let the Breastapo harpies just wash over you x

 

[indy and lara]

I am very new on here and just starting out on the journey, but I am 100% sure I will bottle feed. And yes, I do expect stick, and no, I couldn't care less. Society seems to regard pregnant women as fair game, to bully and pressure as they like. As a woman, pregnant or not, I make my OWN decisions about my own body and my family. Nobody else. I am self-employed and will need to be back working ASAP after delivery, plus I want to involve family and friends in the feeding. Not to mention that I have a back condition and after delivery I may very well be unable to get about without painkillers!

Really, don't let it get to you. A dear friend of mine who is a total earth mother and was such a BF machine while pregnant that she actually donated spare milk, heard of my bottle feeding decision - she said "listen, how you meet your baby's needs isn't important. It's meeting them that's important." So really, it's not so important where the milk comes from, as long as it's given to the baby. There's no right way to bring up a baby, despite what the establishment might want us to believe. YOUR way is the right way. Let the Breastapo harpies just wash over you x

Comments like this are just like calling people the breastfeeding mafia- not helpful and pretty disrespectful.

 

[Rach27]

I have done both and frankly get more abuse breastfeeding!
'tis your choice my sweet, don't let others influence your decision

 

[BrookieG]

hun its entirelly your decision, there will always be those mothers who do BF and seem to believe they are providing better for their children(this has been in my experience not attacking anyone, bf mums or anything) someone will always have something to say, i desparatly wanted to BF (and even had funny faces and comments when ppl found this out) but just couldnt my son was starving, i was shattered and my boobs were bleeding so much there was blood drying on his lips....my son is a healthy little boy and is growing really well formula is nothing like what it used to be and my MW told me they make it as close to BM as possible so i shouldnt beat myself up about switching to it...like others have said our decisions as mothers will always be scruitnised....everyone always has to put in their tuppence worth....you're providing for your child, regardless of whether its from your booby or bottle! lol enjoy the rest of your pregnancy...i miss being pregnant soooooooooooooo much!!!!!! xxx

 

[Wobbles]

I am very new on here ....

Let the Breastapo harpies just wash over you x

I'll give you a friendly tip for future reference that these kind of terms you have used are not permitted in either Formula Feeding or the Breastfeeding section, ever.

 

[bluebaby]

I am very new on here and just starting out on the journey, but I am 100% sure I will bottle feed. And yes, I do expect stick, and no, I couldn't care less. Society seems to regard pregnant women as fair game, to bully and pressure as they like. As a woman, pregnant or not, I make my OWN decisions about my own body and my family. Nobody else. I am self-employed and will need to be back working ASAP after delivery, plus I want to involve family and friends in the feeding. Not to mention that I have a back condition and after delivery I may very well be unable to get about without painkillers!

Really, don't let it get to you. A dear friend of mine who is a total earth mother and was such a BF machine while pregnant that she actually donated spare milk, heard of my bottle feeding decision - she said "listen, how you meet your baby's needs isn't important. It's meeting them that's important." So really, it's not so important where the milk comes from, as long as it's given to the baby. There's no right way to bring up a baby, despite what the establishment might want us to believe. YOUR way is the right way. Let the Breastapo harpies just wash over you x

Comments like this are just like calling people the breastfeeding mafia- not helpful and pretty disrespectful.

Your right its not but neither is people calling mummies that formula feed 'selfish' or 'uneducated' (not you personally but from comments in other threads)

Everyone needs to respect other peoples decisions and not be disrespectful towards them

 

[Wobbles]

And this forum isn't used for formula vs breast debates ....

 

[indy and lara]

I am very new on here and just starting out on the journey, but I am 100% sure I will bottle feed. And yes, I do expect stick, and no, I couldn't care less. Society seems to regard pregnant women as fair game, to bully and pressure as they like. As a woman, pregnant or not, I make my OWN decisions about my own body and my family. Nobody else. I am self-employed and will need to be back working ASAP after delivery, plus I want to involve family and friends in the feeding. Not to mention that I have a back condition and after delivery I may very well be unable to get about without painkillers!

Really, don't let it get to you. A dear friend of mine who is a total earth mother and was such a BF machine while pregnant that she actually donated spare milk, heard of my bottle feeding decision - she said "listen, how you meet your baby's needs isn't important. It's meeting them that's important." So really, it's not so important where the milk comes from, as long as it's given to the baby. There's no right way to bring up a baby, despite what the establishment might want us to believe. YOUR way is the right way. Let the Breastapo harpies just wash over you x

Comments like this are just like calling people the breastfeeding mafia- not helpful and pretty disrespectful.

Your right its not but neither is people calling mummies that formula feed 'selfish' or 'uneducated' (not you personally but from comments in other threads)

Everyone needs to respect other peoples decisions and not be disrespectful towards them

It's not tit for tat.

If I had ever said these things then you would have call to make that remark to me. Respect is a 2 way street. I respect your choice to feed your baby your way but expect the same respect in return. I don't name call and don't expect to be name called in return and I take offense at the term used by Rockand Roll. I BF but have never looked down my nose at someone who FF- there is nothing to be gained from a BF v FF argument.

 

[bluebaby]

I was trying to agree with you in a round about way - sorry if what i said didn't come across right. I have being saying for most of this thread that its everyones right to choose and do what they think is right and calling names on either side isn't right

 

[indy and lara]

I was trying to agree with you in a round about way - sorry if what i said didn't come across right. I have being saying for most of this thread that its everyones right to choose and do what they think is right and calling names on either side isn't right

Thank you. I just don't get why women can't support each other rather than criticise and slag each other off. What does it achieve? Not much!

 

[CLH_X3]

I was formula feed and there's nothing wrong with me!! I hardly ever went to the docs and I never catch colds etc easily ...

Do what's best for you!!