worried I'll be judged....

[bubbles123]

In real life though, I think women do support each other. These debates largely exist online I find. There are a good mix of FF'ers and BF'ers at my baby group and we all exist together quite happily. In fact, the subject of feeding very rarely comes up! And OP, no one can judge you if you do not allow yourself to be judged!

 

[Kitty23]

Do what you feel is best for you and your baby

I tried breastfeeding with the twins and it didnt work for me so my next baby I will formula feed

You shouldnt feel pushed into anything, its a really personal decision. xxx

 

[aliss]

I've been judged online A LOT for FF but never in person (at least to my face). You do what is right for you

 

[Eve]

Online, yes you will probably be judged, but in person... well depends where you are I guess. When I FF my son I wasn't judged, then again I didn't know anyone who breastfed so maybe that had something to do with it. I chose to breastfeed my daughter because of many reasons. I lost my 2nd born son at 37 weeks due to a complete placental abruption and ever since have been a changed woman. Me personally, I wanted to do everything with Kayleigh I didn't do with Jake, and didn't get to do with Kaleb. I didn't have the choice with him, and this time I did and there was no way I was going to formula feed (not that it's a bad thing) but I was dead set on breastfeeding. I also knew my daughter was high risk to not get here, and was going to be premature and wanted her to get the best start possible (and yes, I supplemented with formula too) because she was badly jaundiced and if she didn't eat more, she wouldn't have came home with us when she did. In the end, it's your choice on how you feed your baby, just don't rule anything out until they arrive You never know how you will feel then.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

can i ask why you wont give it a try? have you considered pumping if not directly Breastfeeding? If you pump, you and OH can still give baby a bottle, etc and baby can still get the good stuff. Its a lot of work i know, but it is an option However if thats not a route you choose, its ok- baby has to be fed either way!

I don't want this to come across the wrong way but why should she tell anyone why she doesn't want to try and breastfeed. It is a personal and private choice. When people ask you a question like that or say to you 'i do think everyone should try to breastfeed' it makes you feel guilty without them meaning too.

xoily i had the same reaction as you to not breastfeeding

I was asking why shes not because if its a simple matter of " I dont have support" she can get support- here, at LLL, a LC. There is help out there. I have heard that too many times- " i had no support". If its because she just doesnt want to, then fine- Im not trying to be mean to her.

 

[mommy2baby2]

It's definitely your choice and if you feel bottle feeding is best for you, then go for it.

I think people get worked up about it because of the obvious health benefits breast milk gives to the baby. Majority of people don't breast feed because they can't (health, not enough milk, surgeries...etc) very few decide not to do it 'just because' which might be why people are quick to get upset or 'judge'. Seems more selfish if it's more about your convenience instead of doing right by the baby...

But in the end think of your baby first. Think of her health and what is best for HER. If you are unable to because of an illness then don't do it but if it's because you don't want to be tied down or had a bad experience the first time around, think it over. At least try to give her the early milk/colostrum which is supposed to be the best for the baby...

IMO, breastfeeding for even a week would make a big difference. At least you'd know you were giving your baby a reduced risk of allergies, antibodies to fight of illnesses, nutrients...etc.

Either way good luck and do what is best for the baby.

 

[BlackBerry25]

Do what you want, its your life. I ff'd my baby and she is perfect. We have a special bond, breastfeeding doesn't give that, mothering does. And it is over so quickly and they are on to milk anyways.

 

[BlackBerry25]

And I dont get why people who are close minded about this are even posting in this thread. This is the formula section. She asked not to be judged...not to be persuaded into it.

 

[aliss]

Figures that she said "I have made a personal choice to FF" and is worried she will be judged, in the FF section, and can't even get away from the comments about why she should BF.

 

[leighbaby]

Hun, it is your personal perogative, as a responsible mother to do what makes you, your baby and your family most happy.

It seems to me that you are damned if you do and you are damned if you don't!

So, as long as you are happy - who cares what anyone else says or thinks.

 

[Eve]

And I dont get why people who are close minded about this are even posting in this thread. This is the formula section. She asked not to be judged...not to be persuaded into it.

Figures that she said "I have made a personal choice to FF" and is worried she will be judged, in the FF section, and can't even get away from the comments about why she should BF.

Yet, if I speak one ill word about formula (not even the mom's, just the product itself) in the breastfeeding section I get jumped on with the whole calling FF mum's names etc...

 

[aliss]

And I dont get why people who are close minded about this are even posting in this thread. This is the formula section. She asked not to be judged...not to be persuaded into it.

Figures that she said "I have made a personal choice to FF" and is worried she will be judged, in the FF section, and can't even get away from the comments about why she should BF.

Yet, if I speak one ill word about formula (not even the mom's, just the product itself) in the breastfeeding section I get jumped on with the whole calling FF mum's names etc...

Two wrongs don't make a right. I don't recall OP doing that in the BF section, so why do it to her here in her thread where she is asking for support and to not be judged???

 

[Vickie]

Let's get this back on track please

The OP was asking for support from women in her position who have chosen to FF from the start.

 

[Natasha2605]

I Formula feed, I just didn't want to Breast Feed. IMO anybody who has enough time on their hands to sit and judge a baby's feeding method needs to re-evaluate their life. The only judgement I've had is the morning after having Summer the woman in the bed opposite me in the hospital started asking why I didn't BF and how it's beneficial. In the end I just told her that maybe she should spend time concentrating on her own newborn rather than mine Try not to worry about it xx

 

[chele]

I hadn't decided and was open to BF and FF due to my phobias of milk and nipples. I hate nipples, always have and it freaked me out thinking about my little one suckling on them but I decided I'd give it a go
My first go went ok, he latched on easy and suckled for 50 minutes. I found it a little weird and felt a bit sicky at times but persevered for the 50 minutes til he got fed up (of sucking with nothing coming out to be honest)
For his next feed I decided to try again with the assistance of the breastfeeding woman. Max would latch on but not suckle at all. So we gave in.
Then the midwives were concerned he wasn't getting food so I tried again and he just wouldn't suck. I then had the most wonderful midwife who suggested giving him formula while I expressed. She was really supportive, could see it was the best option for me and fully supported the decision which she gave me.
My milk didn't come in until day 5 so poor Max would have starved. I expressed for 3 weeks and combi fed.
I was happy with my decision in the end and have decided I'm going to do the same for my second child.

Good luck with whatever happens and don't let anyone judge you at all. it's none of their business!

 

[OmarsMum]

I was open to both & prepared to do both. I had a traumatic birth, & my baby couldnt latch on, tried to express but didnt work. I was judged at the hospital for requesting formula for my jaundiced baby who couldnt latch on. I was so determined to get ffeeds for my LO every 2 hrs. I left the hospital early & filed a complain.

It's ur baby hun & ur decision.

 

[moomin_troll]

when i had zane, i had to stay in overnight and across from me was a girl who was around 16 n she was ff, she would ask the mws for a bottle and they were really taking the piss out of her and made her wait for ages and her baby was screaming with hunger and the poor girl was almost in tear herself. ive never forgot hearing her just saying please stop crying.
i was going to go over n see if she needed help but i had zane trying to attach to my boob every second.
when they finaly gave her a bottle they would tut!

the hospital i was at was so shite anyway so i wasnt suprised by how they treated her, but id defo look into what ur hospital are like when it comes to ff and maybe even take in ur own bottles

 

[Kitty23]

when i had zane, i had to stay in overnight and across from me was a girl who was around 16 n she was ff, she would ask the mws for a bottle and they were really taking the piss out of her and made her wait for ages and her baby was screaming with hunger and the poor girl was almost in tear herself. ive never forgot hearing her just saying please stop crying.
i was going to go over n see if she needed help but i had zane trying to attach to my boob every second.
when they finaly gave her a bottle they would tut!

the hospital i was at was so shite anyway so i wasnt suprised by how they treated her, but id defo look into what ur hospital are like when it comes to ff and maybe even take in ur own bottles

That is just such a sad story almost made me cry. That poor poor girl xxx

 

[moomin_troll]

i felt awful for her but there was nothing i could do as they were treating me just as badly when it came to me trying to bf. they ignored calls, spoke to us like crap. im so glad i never have to go to that hospital again

 

[Blaumba]

when i had zane, i had to stay in overnight and across from me was a girl who was around 16 n she was ff, she would ask the mws for a bottle and they were really taking the piss out of her and made her wait for ages and her baby was screaming with hunger and the poor girl was almost in tear herself. ive never forgot hearing her just saying please stop crying.
i was going to go over n see if she needed help but i had zane trying to attach to my boob every second.
when they finaly gave her a bottle they would tut!

the hospital i was at was so shite anyway so i wasnt suprised by how they treated her, but id defo look into what ur hospital are like when it comes to ff and maybe even take in ur own bottles

That is just such a sad story almost made me cry. That poor poor girl xxx

Me too.. shouldn't be allowed to go on.