Worrying - please dont judge

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by PrincessSoph, Apr 13, 2009.

  1. PrincessSoph

    PrincessSoph Well-Known Member

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    does anyone else worry if its the right time and they are in the right situation to have a baby?

    our baby was planned and we are both soo excited about it but i worry that maybe hubbys not ready to give up his nights out with the boys and if im gonna be left on my own with LO when he carries on as normal

    i feel so bad feeling this way :cry: but i think am i really ready for this baby and will i even be a good mum when she arrives. :cry: im getting so down about it
     
  2. Rain_22

    Rain_22 Active Member

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    I can understand, mine was not planned, both partner and I are happy about it but i do wonder sometimes, i dont think you can help it. I have raised both my younger sister (my mum died young) so know I'm more then capable of being a great mum but I still have my worries when I think it will be my OWN child and its wholly dependant on me.
     
  3. moomin_troll

    moomin_troll mummy to zane and corey

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    everyone feels like this at some point in their pregnancy and if they say they didnt they r lying lol.

    i felt like that all the time and even tho i wanted zane i also thought about a termination very late on as i was feeling so depressed ect i have anti natal depression.

    dont worry about it once that babies here things will change and ule love being a mum altho sometimes ule hate it when they r playing up lol
     
  4. Jkelmum

    Jkelmum Well-Known Member

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    I think everyone has wobbles while pregnant with these worrys :hugs:
     
  5. angelstardust

    angelstardust mother of 3

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    Normal part of pregnancy hun.

    Everyone gets doubts (and those that don't are usually the ones who should) at some point. It's a stressful time and unless you have done it before you really have no idea what to expect, even when you have done it before you have no idea what to expect!
     
  6. Tasha

    Tasha 4kids+2angels+16mc
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    Oh hun, I dont think anyone can judge you for that, as it is such a normal thing to go through, having a baby is a massive life change and it is scary but I am sure you will be okay and OH with settle down, however if its really worrying you have a chat with and let him no your worried, I am sure he will reassure you x
     
  7. moomin_troll

    moomin_troll mummy to zane and corey

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    im sure everyone has heard this but a woman becomes a mum when shes pregnant but a man doesnt become a dad till that baby is in his arms.

    my oh was like yeah it will be easy soon as he saw zane he went white lol he now knows its not easy but hes getting better i still have to tell him how to do things lol
     
  8. MummyBurgo

    MummyBurgo I love my boys x

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    :hugs:

    Men seem to find it harder than us for some reason,but am sure if you talk to him about how you feel ect and boys nights out you will sort it between you.
    My hubby is good and we only go out together and that suits us and its fair as then we are both getting time without Levi.
     
  9. cs22

    cs22 Mum and ttc# 2

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    I feel like me and OH are ready for this baby. We tried for 3 years. I think we will struggle at times but we will get through. I cant wait. Neither can he. Were nervous but really excited.

    I think once your hubby sees the baby he will be more willing to give up his nights out xxx
     
  10. Tsia

    Tsia My MyloMan - he turned 1!

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    I think it is natural during any BIG situation and life changing thing to weigh up pros and cons on the decision that you have made.

    I wont bore you all again with my story but mine wasnt planned.. (not for this year anyways) and I think about things like this too.. but after partner is so positive a baby would split us up and ruin our lives but I decided to make the final decision not to abort and go ahead anyways... I am trying not to think negatively and make Damn sure it wont be the worst thing in the world for our relationship. I dont want him saying to me 'told ya so' etc etc

    I think everything will be fine.. but its natural to have worries about what if's. I just put it down to nerves and not being feckless.
     
  11. joeyjo

    joeyjo Mum to 2boys, growing #3

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    Your worries are completely natural hun. I worry about much the same things with my hubby.
     
  12. lindypops

    lindypops Lin, Si and Eve

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    I agree with moomin troll - men just don't realise what it means until LO is born - even though it may be the thing they most want in the world.

    My OH persuaded me to agree to going for trying for a family this year instead of next, which wasn't difficult as I was quite keen - then he started talking about either taking up football again or getting a season ticket for the first time. Without apparently realising that I might want him around at the weekends - or, perish the thought, I might want a Sat afternoon to do something without LO for myself!

    I also have been feeling more vulnerable - at work, with friends, physically and emotionally and as a woman (if that doesn't sound too cheesy!) - perhaps that is part of the deal too and what makes us worry about these things.

    I know you'll be fine x
     
  13. Vici

    Vici Mum to a LTTC princess!!

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    Like everyone has said, I think its normal. We have planned this baby for years and years! But even now, I stop sometimes and think OMG, how the hell will I cope with a baby!! Then DF got made redundant and it made things worse, however, I don't believe there is ever a "perfect" time to have a baby as in life, we never know what is round the corner x
     
  14. Armywife

    Armywife Mummy to 2 beauties

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    Awww honey, i feel exactly that way at times too. I worry about everything - even down to if i'll cope with the lack of sleep! Remember Jay is still settling back into normal life as well as trying to get used to being a daddy to be. I know its hard and the amount of times i've wanted to scream 'WHAT ABOUT ME??' to Martin i can't tell you. It will all work out, you're in a difficult position - one which most people would struggle to handle at the best of times and you're coping so well. If you ever need to chat you know where i am, anytime ok? You really are doing an amazing job with everything, don't be so hard on yourself x x x x :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
     
  15. PrincessSoph

    PrincessSoph Well-Known Member

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    thanx girls :hugs:

    i just want these feelings to go away cos i feel so bad feeling like this. :cry:
     
  16. whitelilly

    whitelilly Mummy :)

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    I think it would be a bit abnormal not to have some worries and concerns. It is probably the biggest committment of our lives.

    I am so looking forward to our son's arrival and being a mummy. But I would be lying if I said that I hadn't had any worries or doubts. Hubby and I were only married 4 weeks when we conceived so, as newlyweds, it has been a struggle sometimes. I often worry tha I am not the perfect wife and that we maybe ought to have waitied. Then I think to myself that there is probably no perfect time to have a baby.

    As for giving up nights out, hubby and I are both going to keep up our social lives. Yeah tey wil be restricted more than they are now, but friends are so important for healthy mind and body too no doubt. I think naturally the onus falls on mum but I am sure hubby will realise that he will have to curtail his current lifestyle. If he doesn't, just you get yoursef dolled up, plonk the baby on his lap and off you go out! ;) xxx
     
  17. loulabell84

    loulabell84 pregnant with first

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    im so glad you posted this as i have been feeling the same, i cant stop thinking what if i dont want it and thinking im not ready. we were sort of trying as i was diagnosed with PCOS and was only having a period every 4-5 months so i never thought it would happen very quickly.i started off really pleased and excited, now my thoughts keep turning to doubts, and i hate myself for thinking like that. i am also struggling with thoughts that something has happened inside and i dont know about it.

    i dont feel pregnant at all, no different to how i felt before. im wondering if this is the reason im having the thoughts that i am, and that maybe when i start to feel it move i will feel better.

    xxx
     
  18. hopedance

    hopedance Sam's mum and pregnant

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    i have really wondered lately about whether i am making a big mistake or not. this was a planned pregnancy and so sometimes i feel guilty, for bringing a baby into the world when maybe i am just not ready. i was just being referred for treatment for pcos so also thought it would take a long time to fall, but then got my bfp. i think it'll work out though hun, for me and for you, these things tend to. i mean, they have to! i keep reassuring myself that i'll make it be okay, even if it wasn't perfect timing - is the timing ever going to be perfect or would we have waited forever?
     
  19. lindypops

    lindypops Lin, Si and Eve

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    It seemed so easy to say 'let's start trying' and then actually try...but now it's real I can't help thinking I could/should have given it slightly more consideration and realised just how life-changing a decision it is.

    Then again, I'm not sure it's possible to realise that until the LO is conceived.
     
  20. honey08

    honey08 mum2two boys/2mc

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    must be totally normal hun, i didnt even go out much when i wasnt preg ,but few wk ago i saw lots of mates out on piss (while i was going to the shop) and i thought "omg i wud love to be out NOW" lol
    but when babies ere hun u need to try get few hrs with mates/u and OH to urself, its extremley important, even if its for a hr ! dont feel bad bout it , its a big scary reponsability aving a baby etc :hugs:
     

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