Would this be weird?

[AllyTiel]

This wasn't meant in any way to be a debate. I'm surprised its gotten this many answers! I was going to ask the moms group I'm a part of on FB but I know a lot of those girls I real life and didn't want them judging me. Somehow it's not as hard to be possibly judged by people you don't know in person lol. I'm starting to get the idea that most women would have no issue bf'ing another child, but most seem to have a harder time with the idea of another woman feeding their child. And here is really the only issue I have thought of, is that some women place a lot of emphasis on it being an intimate bonding time. It's hard for me to know for sure, but I feel like if bf'ing had worked out for me, i don't think I would have a problem with this particular friend feeding her for me if the roles were switched and I was dying to get out for a date.

 

[Sunshine12]

This wasn't meant in any way to be a debate. I'm surprised its gotten this many answers! I was going to ask the moms group I'm a part of on FB but I know a lot of those girls I real life and didn't want them judging me. Somehow it's not as hard to be possibly judged by people you don't know in person lol. I'm starting to get the idea that most women would have no issue bf'ing another child, but most seem to have a harder time with the idea of another woman feeding their child. And here is really the only issue I have thought of, is that some women place a lot of emphasis on it being an intimate bonding time. It's hard for me to know for sure, but I feel like if bf'ing had worked out for me, i don't think I would have a problem with this particular friend feeding her for me if the roles were switched and I was dying to get out for a date.

This might be a really dumb question but how could you breastfeed her LO if you arent BF your own (i figured you were but you said it didnt work out for you so hasnt your milk dried up? I havent read the whole thread so sorry if ive missed a post and you only just stopped or something.)

Id maybe just get on the subject of nursing another baby as a general chat and let her know you arent opposed to the idea and if she is desperate for a night out she might just ask you herself rather than you having to bring it up to her so no awkwardness if she does think its weird. x

 

[AllyTiel]

This wasn't meant in any way to be a debate. I'm surprised its gotten this many answers! I was going to ask the moms group I'm a part of on FB but I know a lot of those girls I real life and didn't want them judging me. Somehow it's not as hard to be possibly judged by people you don't know in person lol. I'm starting to get the idea that most women would have no issue bf'ing another child, but most seem to have a harder time with the idea of another woman feeding their child. And here is really the only issue I have thought of, is that some women place a lot of emphasis on it being an intimate bonding time. It's hard for me to know for sure, but I feel like if bf'ing had worked out for me, i don't think I would have a problem with this particular friend feeding her for me if the roles were switched and I was dying to get out for a date.

This might be a really dumb question but how could you breastfeed her LO if you arent BF your own (i figured you were but you said it didnt work out for you so hasnt your milk dried up? I havent read the whole thread so sorry if ive missed a post and you only just stopped or something.)

Id maybe just get on the subject of nursing another baby as a general chat and let her know you arent opposed to the idea and if she is desperate for a night out she might just ask you herself rather than you having to bring it up to her so no awkwardness if she does think its weird. x

I breastfed with a nipple shield for 2 months due to her lip-tie and never latching correctly and I've been pumping ever since. And we don't get to hang out this week so I don't know that I'll get to chat with her beforehand. If her daughter starts taking a bottle before then of course this will all be a non issue. Still a very interesting topic for me and something I didn't think of until this issue came up!

 

[Jendra]

I would take you up on your offer. My son latches great, but I have consistently had supply issues and have needed to supplement with formula. Another woman's breast milk would be perfectly welcome. I would only accept the offer, though, from a very close friend.

You'll have to know your friend's temperament and feelings about breastfeeding to gauge her reaction. I think it's generally an inoffensive offer, but there are some who think it'd be weird. I don't happen to be one of them.

 

[deafgal]

My daughter looks like she is lip tie herself. It was hard at first though. But I bear it even though it was torture for the first few months. But its better now. I did not use the shield though.

 

[deafgal]

I would take you up on your offer. My son latches great, but I have consistently had supply issues and have needed to supplement with formula. Another woman's breast milk would be perfectly welcome. I would only accept the offer, though, from a very close friend.

You'll have to know your friend's temperament and feelings about breastfeeding to gauge her reaction. I think it's generally an inoffensive offer, but there are some who think it'd be weird. I don't happen to be one of them.

Thats why I think she should just talk about wet nurse with her friend instead of asking her directly. If her friend thinks "ewwww, I couldn't do that"
Then you know it is not a good idea to ask.Th

 

[minties]

I would happily let you babysit my LO and breastfeed her if you were my friend.

I got stuck with the neighbours newborn the other day, she was just meant to leave him here for 10 minutes while she popped down the road to buy something, and she was gone an hour! I was frantic as her baby was screaming in hunger. She wouldn't answer her phone. She left no formula or bottles. I was at the point where I was debating hand expressing some milk for him (I simply don't have the means or funds to go buy formula, nor can I fit my 2 kids and hers in my car anyway).

I was furious that she put me in that situation. If she had been any longer I would have surely had to give him some breastmilk, he was going crazy.

 

[weejenb]

I would happily let you babysit my LO and breastfeed her if you were my friend.

I got stuck with the neighbours newborn the other day, she was just meant to leave him here for 10 minutes while she popped down the road to buy something, and she was gone an hour! I was frantic as her baby was screaming in hunger. She wouldn't answer her phone. She left no formula or bottles. I was at the point where I was debating hand expressing some milk for him (I simply don't have the means or funds to go buy formula, nor can I fit my 2 kids and hers in my car anyway).

I was furious that she put me in that situation. If she had been any longer I would have surely had to give him some breastmilk, he was going crazy.

Wow, that's shocking! Did she say why she was gone so long?

 

[tinytabby]

This is an interesting subject - It's so taboo in our culture and yet it's quite a natural thing to do.

Personally I would not have wanted another woman to bf my daughter. But for no reason other than my own ickiness with the idea. I wouldn't be shocked if someone suggested it though - or think they were weird. I'd be extremely surprised. People just don't do that here - I've not heard of it anyway. I'd think it was a very generous offer though.

 

[Jendra]

I got stuck with the neighbours newborn the other day, she was just meant to leave him here for 10 minutes while she popped down the road to buy something, and she was gone an hour! I was frantic as her baby was screaming in hunger. She wouldn't answer her phone. She left no formula or bottles. I was at the point where I was debating hand expressing some milk for him (I simply don't have the means or funds to go buy formula, nor can I fit my 2 kids and hers in my car anyway).

Even without her permission, I think you would have been justified in that case to give him your milk. You didn't agree to an hour of babysitting a hungry baby with no means of feeding him or contacting his mom. She changed the situation. I think it says a lot about how taboo we've made this topic that you didn't feel comfortable just going ahead and doing it.

Granted, I would have been nervous and iffy about it too, worried about mom's reaction. But really? Feeding a baby beside himself with hunger with what's available and nutritious shouldn't be controversial.

 

[little_lady]

I don't think I would offer or accept. It's not the idea of sharing breastmilk I have a problem with, but the idea of someone else's boob in my baby's mouth, like Gidz said. Also for me it's an intimate bonding time with baby so I would probably be jealous.

Just my opinion though, I totally get that this is normal elsewhere and I think you're a very kind person too.

 

[angel2010]

Maybe you could bring it up in a sort of joking way. Maybe when she brings up that her baby has a hard time with bottles you could say "oh well then I'll just pop her on one of mine", but with a joking tone and gauge her reaction. It is very nice of you to offer, but I think she would likely decline. I haven't read the whole thread, but did she say she was dying for a date night? Some people don't need as much "me" time as others. Not that needing a bit more is a bad thing, people are just different.

 

[Tigerlilyb]

I feel like the only one who would jump all over this offer, you're an amazing friend to even think of it!

At first I thought like some of the other mums here, I would be jealous, but after a little think I realised I'd be much, much happier knowing my baby was at home with somebody who could provide something she really loves, that she would be snuggled up safely just as she is with me in the evenings while I wasn't there. Apart from our evenings in while LO is in bed, OH and I haven't had more than maybe two hours together alone since she was born.

There's no way I could be replaced in LO's eyes, it's a fact that babies recognise the taste of their own mothers milk and prefer it over others

And of course I would willingly BF a friends baby if they wanted or needed me to in a heartbeat.

 

[XJessicaX]

I have no issues on this. I have BF my friends daughter when DD1 was young.

 

[MetalMaiden]

I feel like the only one who would jump all over this offer, you're an amazing friend to even think of it!

At first I thought like some of the other mums here, I would be jealous, but after a little think I realised I'd be much, much happier knowing my baby was at home with somebody who could provide something she really loves, that she would be snuggled up safely just as she is with me in the evenings while I wasn't there. Apart from our evenings in while LO is in bed, OH and I haven't had more than maybe two hours together alone since she was born.

There's no way I could be replaced in LO's eyes, it's a fact that babies recognise the taste of their own mothers milk and prefer it over others

And of course I would willingly BF a friends baby if they wanted or needed me to in a heartbeat.

yup still creepin this thread!! I totally agree with the above. I've been thinking about it alot, and I wouldn't leave my LO with anyone I didn't completely trust and love so therefore if that situation came up, i'd probably be okay with it (as I said before, i would only leave LO with my parents, sisters (inlaws) or very very close friend and i think I'd be okay with that if it was a last resort (aka baby screaming inconsolably and completely refusing the bottle). Now if it was the day home lady, i would not let her bf my LO!

* disclaimer - my answer is hypothetical because i live far away from my family and don't have a good enough BF friend here I would leave LO with! never left my LO anyway yet... also LO isn't in day home yet but will be when i go back to work! i remember it was in the media not too long ago where the kardashians were talking abt BF each others babies which got me thinking.

 

[AllyTiel]

I have no issues on this. I have BF my friends daughter when DD1 was young.

How did that happen Jessica? Did you offer or she ask?

 

[XJessicaX]

I have no issues on this. I have BF my friends daughter when DD1 was young.

How did that happen Jessica? Did you offer or she ask?

One of my friends was pregnant the same time as me first time round. When our daughters were around 3 months old she flew over to stay with us for a week. One of the mornings she came upstairs really excited and said that her daughter had slept through the night for the first time but she was hugely engorged. Her baby just could not latch on at all and was having a huge meltdown so after me watching my friend try to express without much success and the baby getting more and more furious I just offered. It felt quite natural to do so. Took a couple of attempts as feeding any angry baby is a feat but she fed and cheered up and that was that! We knew each other very well though. Later on when I visited her when my LO was about 10 months she had some of her expressed milk as my LO was on formula and I had run out!

 

[Twister]

I think I'd accept the offer. Doesn't seem weird to me at all and I would have peace of mind knowing that my lo won't be hungry while I'm gone. At the moment it's difficult leaving her as I don't respond well to pumping nor do I really have the time/patience with it so whenever I do pop to the shops without lo I'm always rushing home just in case she needs milk.

 

[pinklightbulb]

Neither of my sons would take a bottle. I would've loved someone I knew to BF them if I went out, but nobody I knew with a baby BF so I was up shit creek without a paddle!

 

[NoodleSnack]

I think you have to consider that those who think it's a generous offer also don't find it weird, but if she finds it weird, then she might not see it that way, it doesn't hurt to find out her feeling first, but if you offer and she is put off, then it would make things awkward. It's not just about the milk either, I have donated my milk to another woman, but the physical act itself, if she asked me to nurse her baby, I would refuse but offer to pump for them.