Would you ever consider adopting/fostering?

[mrs_park]

I have always wanted to adopt or foster one day and reading about the abused little boy boy in the other thread has made me want to more than ever. I just feel that there are so many hurting neglected children and it breaks my heart

I think I would have to wait until we are finished having our own babies and they are a little older so that I have the time to invest in the adopted/fostered child.

My DH isn't 100% sold on the idea, but I think I can turn him around.

Would you ever consider it? Or done it?

 

[AirForceWife7]

I originally wanted to adopt a child after I was married, finished with school, etc. I never really wanted children of my own, but wanted to give another child a better & brighter future.

Then I found out I was pregnant with LO & that all changed (She was a surprise! )

Needless to say though, if it were to come down to it I would most definitely consider adopting a child if I am not able to have any more children. I think it's a great option!

 

[AirForceWife7]

Oopsa daisy double post

 

[summer rain]

Yes I would. My religion doesn't allow adoption in the sense it is here in the UK; that that child becomes legally yours; takes your surname (and in many cases a first name chosen by you) and all ties to their original parents are severed, but it does allow long term fostering and adoption where it is still clear who the child's original parents are. My OH has an aunt who is adopted, but she still has her original surname and is still in touch with her original family members who are still alive even though she is in her 40s or 50s by now, that isn't to say my OH's grandma and grandad didn't treat her like their own, they did to the extent that many of OH's younger siblings and cousins have no idea she is actually adopted. One of my friends, her mum fostered children for over 30 years and must've fostered 100s of children, sadly she passed away last year xx

 

[marley2580]

I would like to adopt a child rather than have a 4th of my own. It's such a long, invasive and convoluted procedure though that I do wonder if it just would be easier putting up with another 9 months of pregnancy.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Probably not but just because my child has additional needs and needs more of my time.

 

[Nibblenic]

I would look into fostering.
When my own family is older, if I have the room/health/time.

Im less sure about adoption. Cannot really say why I just dont think I could be a 100% parent to a child who isnt mine. Its difficult to explain.

 

[tina3747]

I don't think I could do it. As much as I love the idealolgy of it, I could never put another child before my own if fostering and I do think with alot of children the burdens that come with them that's what you'd have to do. Adopting a child is a huge deal, I've been on a long journey with a friend after ivf attempts x 6 , and a miscarriage they decided to adopt and it was like a university degree what they went through as a couple. They now have a 3 yr old boy that's been with them for nearly 2 yrs. He has learning difficulties due to feotal alcohol syndrome although he's quite low on the spectrum and she's suffered terribly with not being able to bond. I think seeing how she's coped in this real life situation , I'm not sure I'm that strong a person to go through it.
I also have a customer who works in recrutment in fostering. They're now advertising in job centres for foster parents!! I'm not sure I love that idea buy I suppose it comes from my sense of wanting sunshine and rainbows not someone just doing it for the money. £350 per week is a typical amount which doesn't affect any benefit payments you recieve and you don't pay tax on it either!!
She does say with the more extreme cases of children you do have to put them first. I don't think I could do it.

 

[mummy3]

I would absolutely be prepared to foster or adopt. I would want my own kids to be older so I could devote the time and effort that would naturally be involved, also 2 of my children have special needs so I would want them to be more independant first.

 

[smelly07]

Adoption no, but fostering Yes i would and my husband is also very keen on the idea, unfortunatly we only have a two bedroom house and to foster the child needs to have there own room. If we ever are able to get a bigger property i would definitley foster. We are stopping at two children i really dont want any more biological children but i would give my time to help children who need someone until they are found a loving home x

 

[Gen79]

I read an article once about girls in India being intentionally neglected and came away from it thinking I would absolutely adopt a little girl from India.

 

[Avalanche]

Yes, would love to. OH doesn't like the idea though.

 

[mrs_park]

Its very interesting to hear the different thoughts on this...

I have started looking into a respite program for kids that aren't considered to be neglected/abused 'enough' to be taken from their parents but still considered to need intervention. You can take a child for a weekend or day once a month. I could definately commit to that now. I've been going back and forth with leaving messages with a social worker. I'm hoping to get the ball rolling next year

 

[smelly07]

Its very interesting to hear the different thoughts on this...

I have started looking into a respite program for kids that aren't considered to be neglected/abused 'enough' to be taken from their parents but still considered to need intervention. You can take a child for a weekend or day once a month. I could definately commit to that now. I've been going back and forth with leaving messages with a social worker. I'm hoping to get the ball rolling next year

oooooooooooo this sounds really interesting do you have any links to any info?

 

[mrs_park]

Its very interesting to hear the different thoughts on this...

I have started looking into a respite program for kids that aren't considered to be neglected/abused 'enough' to be taken from their parents but still considered to need intervention. You can take a child for a weekend or day once a month. I could definately commit to that now. I've been going back and forth with leaving messages with a social worker. I'm hoping to get the ball rolling next year

oooooooooooo this sounds really interesting do you have any links to any info?

A friend who works for Banardos told me about the program... Do you have Banardos over there?

 

[smelly07]

Its very interesting to hear the different thoughts on this...

I have started looking into a respite program for kids that aren't considered to be neglected/abused 'enough' to be taken from their parents but still considered to need intervention. You can take a child for a weekend or day once a month. I could definately commit to that now. I've been going back and forth with leaving messages with a social worker. I'm hoping to get the ball rolling next year

oooooooooooo this sounds really interesting do you have any links to any info?

A friend who works for Banardos told me about the program... Do you have Banardos over there?

not sure, i will look into it

 

[Natsku]

I would consider it. My parents adopted my 3 oldest brothers and are considering fostering now we've all grown up and left home.
I think I would rather adopt than foster as I imagine it would be hard to part with them once you've developed an attachment.

 

[flutterbaby]

I would love to adopt or foster or foster then adopt that child when my children are grown up I feel i'll be wiser then and ready to take on challenges that foster children bring my aunt is a foster carer and adopted her son she had him on placement as a 2 year old and he was soo badly neglected that he was in 6 months clothes when his family wanted him back she applied to adopt because the thought or sending him back to hell was to much for her heart to bare and the family members knew he was being starved and neglected etc my aunt still has foster children as well so she's got 3 grown 1 adopted and 2 placement children that she has now got untill they are 18 and from the ages of 7 and 5 they are her's two now she is very fulfilled and some one the children that she had only for periods of restbite still send updates and that to me is priceless knowing that you can leave an inprint in someones heart is great to me


I also know a lady who has been a foster carer for ever she has now 3 grown foster/adopted children and a total of 97 babies as she calls then she remembers all the names etc of then and as she still is fostering the number will keep on growing a very kind woman

my uncles step mom also fosters children who have learning difficulties and she say's she finds in very rewarding her house is a gallery of all the children she has loved


all the people i know have said it's very tiring with meetings paperwork appointments etc but is very soul rewarding , it's not for the faint hearted but defo worth it in my eyes

 

[Lightworker]

One of my dreams is to open a children's home in Africa, primarily for orphaned children, but also for underage, unwed moms and their children. I would relish the opportunity to do this.

However, I am not sure I would be well-equipped to adopt/foster a child in the conventional sense, i.e. adding the child to my family. Only because I don't feel I would be able to commit the time and effort required given my own career ambitions. It wouldn't work..unless I delegated mommy-duties, and that doesn't seem fair.

I don't know... incidentally, next week on one of the BBCs there's a documentary on adoption. x

 

[PitaKat]

Hubby and I plan to adopt. I could've just adopted and never had biological kids and been happy with that, but hubby wanted us to have a child first so we could gain parenting experience.

I don't think I could foster kids, it just seems like it would be much too difficult to part with them after getting attached.

For the people who want to adopt, are you leaning towards a child from your own country, or international adoption? Do you want to adopt one child, or multiple, like sibling groups?