Would you "smack" your child?

[nikkip75]

^^^^^I posted earlier stating that I dont as a rule smack, but have on a couple of occasions when I feel it has been needed. I am 39 in April so I may be older than some of you on here. When I was younger most teenagers still did the things that teenagers did today like maybe drink or smoke behind their parents back (I never did incidently!) and that was because I was scared as I knew that I would be in so much trouble with my parents. My parents smacked us ....and hard at times. I think smacking back then was accepted more and seen as the most effective way of punishment. (they had the cane at school back then)and I know my friends nor I would overstep the mark as we knew what would come! I am not saying that it is right, but it is funny when you look around today and compare certain children and teenagers (not picking on any group of people) in general, they seem to lack respect for their elders, unlike myself and others back then in the 70s and 80s. I often wonder if it is because we have got a softer approach, I am not saying that smacking is the answer but it does make you think! We are all scared of smacking today, myself included but at times when my 15 year old is naughty, I think back to how I wouldnt dare do half the things he does because I feared my parents, but at the same time I respected them.

I could have typed this about myself. Im 36 this year so a child of the 70s and was also smacked. I was smacked on the bum, the legs, even had a few clips around the ear! And although I KNOW this all happend i dont EVER actually remember one incidence of it happening!! I love my parents, i have total respect for them and always have.

I have never been scared of them but i did have the fear of being found out doing something. So i never bunked of school, never misbehaved in school or gave cheek to people when i was hanging out with my mates. Never got in trouble with police, i have never even hit another person in anger! I wouldnt actually know how to hit somebody!!

I also have a 15 year old so i feel your pain

 

[mumtofour81]

Hey,

My DD is a minx.. So when she plays up, well she plays up! Now for discipline, we have the naughty step, which most of the time works well. But after a tantrum, and a rather large tantrum last weekend, someone close to me said " that's nothing a good slap wouldn't fix" my reaction to this was are you mad? I do have to say though, that I was brought up in s household that if we played up, we were smacked, and i knew I didn't want to play my mum up and always remembered my manners because I knew what would happen if I wasn't good etc.


So is smacking the right way to go when they are really naughty?Do smacked children make better behaved children? Or can they be just as good without such a hard discipline?

Just for the record, I don't think any less of people who do actually smack children or don't, it's your choice.I'm just asking if it makes a difference.

Hi going to reply to this before reading other peoples replies, I used to be pro smack and brought my eldest daughter up pretty strictly and she got a few smacks but I am seperated from her dad and he doesnt smack and I soon learnt that Joanna became quite scared of me, so in my humble oppionon, yeah ok smacking works but only because your child is scared of you. Now my youngest child however I havent been so strict on and she is a little horror at times and doesnt listen to me half as much as Joanna does and yes i've been tempted to smack her a few times as well.

 

[Linzi]

I would only use it if he was ina dangerous situation I think, as a deterrent to stop him from doing it again.

For example, he knows not to run off in the car park but he tried it the other day and as there is no naughty step in the car I told him off and tapped his hand. We had cuddles and explained why it wasn't a good thing to do.

But if he was like, just drawing on the walls with crayons or something I wouldn't do it, it's not necessary for him really
xxx

 

[Dragonfly]

To add to mine I was never smacked and turned our fine.

 

[v2007]

Time out is what i do.

She hates it but she does sit there.

V xxx

 

[LittleBoo]

Well I was scared as a child, when I had been bad anyway, in my opinion it was a good thing. There is no fear in my generation. I can only think that's because the previous generation was told not to touch their kids or use harsh punishments. My mum only hit me a handful of times, all of which were justified, I had been naughty and all other punishments hadn't worked. I'm not violent now.

 

[mama2b]

Hey,

My DD is a minx.. So when she plays up, well she plays up! Now for discipline, we have the naughty step, which most of the time works well. But after a tantrum, and a rather large tantrum last weekend, someone close to me said " that's nothing a good slap wouldn't fix" my reaction to this was are you mad? I do have to say though, that I was brought up in s household that if we played up, we were smacked, and i knew I didn't want to play my mum up and always remembered my manners because I knew what would happen if I wasn't good etc.


So is smacking the right way to go when they are really naughty?Do smacked children make better behaved children? Or can they be just as good without such a hard discipline?

Just for the record, I don't think any less of people who do actually smack children or don't, it's your choice.I'm just asking if it makes a difference.

To start with I can't understand how anyone could describe smacking a child as a 'good slap' surely its anything but that !!

Personally I would prefer not to have to smack my child and hope im never in the situation where I feel its necessary.

I was smacked as a child for all sorts or reasons. I have a terrible relationship with my mum because of it and I am determined to be nothing like her. I don't really recall being smacked for doing bad things and I suppose it was borderline abuse because it was pretty much everyday.

 

[oct-bump]

Hey,

So is smacking the right way to go when they are really naughty?Do smacked children make better behaved children? Or can they be just as good without such a hard discipline?

I really don't think it has effect on the behavior of the child. I was smacked often as a child. I don't even remember what I used to do and to be honest, when I got hit, I didn't even care. One time I laughed at my dad and told him it didn't hurt.

I think I learned proper behavior from mimicking others and being told what to do and what not to do.

 

[Nibblenic]

I think when my Lo does something seriously wrong. Like biting out of temper, you need to shock them. With my lo for me what works is putting her out the room im in and shout at her. As i never shout and never not acessable to her.

However with DH he can quite get the 'daddy voice' right so shouting doesnt really do much and hes at work alot so shes used to not being able to get at him. And she pushed him once over an entire weekend singling him out to be naughty to and in the end I said you going to have to shock her and he tapped her bum and that did it.

I think not only does it depend on your child but the indivdual parent aswell.

I think if you do spank it should be for serious things like violence or endangering themselves or others. However thats just me

 

[Blaumba]

I think smacking can teach them that the way to get someone to stop doing something you don't like is to smack them, then they may go off and smack the kid at school who won't give him the ball or something and as a pp said, you may find the level of smack required increasing along with your imunity to doing it which could result in someting OTT one day.

That said I got a few smacks on the back of my calfs as a kid if i did something REALLY bad and I wasn't left scared of my mum or dad, just scared of getting caught.. haha

 

[Seity]

Hey,

My DD is a minx.. So when she plays up, well she plays up! Now for discipline, we have the naughty step, which most of the time works well. But after a tantrum, and a rather large tantrum last weekend, someone close to me said " that's nothing a good slap wouldn't fix" my reaction to this was are you mad? I do have to say though, that I was brought up in s household that if we played up, we were smacked, and i knew I didn't want to play my mum up and always remembered my manners because I knew what would happen if I wasn't good etc.


So is smacking the right way to go when they are really naughty?Do smacked children make better behaved children? Or can they be just as good without such a hard discipline?

Just for the record, I don't think any less of people who do actually smack children or don't, it's your choice.I'm just asking if it makes a difference.

Hi going to reply to this before reading other peoples replies, I used to be pro smack and brought my eldest daughter up pretty strictly and she got a few smacks but I am seperated from her dad and he doesnt smack and I soon learnt that Joanna became quite scared of me, so in my humble oppionon, yeah ok smacking works but only because your child is scared of you. Now my youngest child however I havent been so strict on and she is a little horror at times and doesnt listen to me half as much as Joanna does and yes i've been tempted to smack her a few times as well.

I agree. I'll be 38 this year and I definitely will be smacking my child when the situation warrants. I believe in using a number of different methods of discipline depending on the situation and a spanking or smack is one method I will use. I know many these days seem to think it's not a good method to use, but I disagree.

 

[dizzyisacow]

well i dont like it but i do it especially when he doesnt listen and continues doing something dangerous and nothing else works.

 

[mommy2lilmen]

This is a topic I was going to not read, but I had to and I think I will put in my 2 cents. A smacked kid is a respectful kid I was told. I dont beleive that BUT I will say what I have observed as a child, a teen, an adult and now a mom and a divorced mom and remarried wife...All children have been smacked atleast ONCE. Now are they better behaved, hmmmm. I was raised in a household of smacking. I grew up that way and then watched my siblings smack my(their) parents and each other, then as an adult I watched other parents do it and became a parent myself, I did smack. I will admit it. Now did it make him behaved, perhaps..but that is all I was used to. My ex used to hit the kids and I did it with him just cus thats what he said was proper. my ex and I fought cus I didnt feel it was and had neighbors and welfar threatening to take the kids but he said it made them behaved and respect rules cus they wouldnt misbehave. Sure they were scared. behaved kids arent afraid. scared kids are afraid. kwim? I left my ex for various reasons including the hitting of kids. He continued when kids were in his care and the kids did not want to go, they begged me. SO I vowed to them I wouldnt send them back until their dad stopped. I even took the vow I would never hit them when my 2 older ones yelled in fear to stop and they were bruised. I could of died with the look on their faces. I have never hit again. NEVER . Now my ex had stopped hitting them only to find that he thinks they are misbehaving and running around cus of my NEW ways. I have to laugh cus of this. My DH now, he hits the kids once hes been pushed and OMG cus they arent his biologically I get pissed off. I tell him to calm down and talk to them, only to find the kids back talking him worse I am wrong somewhere. My kids, sure they have their moments, but is hitting going to get them to stop? I dont think so. Talking rationally sometimes never works either. so which measure is right, it is all up to the parents and one way of discipling each parent should stick with. you cant have one that smacks and one that doesnt, or you cant smack your kid one week then expect the time out talk the next. it doesnt work that way. This is a good topic, and a one that gets people thinking to.
I lost track of what i was saying so I will stop this posting now. Sorry if I dont make sense.

 

[mommy2lilmen]

alot of people beleive smacking, spanking leads to aggressive behaviour in school...but when i was in school we all got hit, well good number and we didnthit other kids. not me anyways. I do and will smack my kids when its needed, but i do try to do other way. today I smacked my 16 month olds hand for putting his finger to a socket at the ice rink and omg, i reamed my DH out for not being by his side then the baby for going near it. at home he doesnt go near it cus its covered up. He cried omg did he ever, but he did not go near it again

 

[mommy2lilmen]

^^^^^I posted earlier stating that I dont as a rule smack, but have on a couple of occasions when I feel it has been needed. I am 39 in April so I may be older than some of you on here. When I was younger most teenagers still did the things that teenagers did today like maybe drink or smoke behind their parents back (I never did incidently!) and that was because I was scared as I knew that I would be in so much trouble with my parents. My parents smacked us ....and hard at times. I think smacking back then was accepted more and seen as the most effective way of punishment. (they had the cane at school back then)and I know my friends nor I would overstep the mark as we knew what would come! I am not saying that it is right, but it is funny when you look around today and compare certain children and teenagers (not picking on any group of people) in general, they seem to lack respect for their elders, unlike myself and others back then in the 70s and 80s. I often wonder if it is because we have got a softer approach, I am not saying that smacking is the answer but it does make you think! We are all scared of smacking today, myself included but at times when my 15 year old is naughty, I think back to how I wouldnt dare do half the things he does because I feared my parents, but at the same time I respected them.

I could have typed this about myself. Im 36 this year so a child of the 70s and was also smacked. I was smacked on the bum, the legs, even had a few clips around the ear! And although I KNOW this all happend i dont EVER actually remember one incidence of it happening!! I love my parents, i have total respect for them and always have.

I have never been scared of them but i did have the fear of being found out doing something. So i never bunked of school, never misbehaved in school or gave cheek to people when i was hanging out with my mates. Never got in trouble with police, i have never even hit another person in anger! I wouldnt actually know how to hit somebody!!

I also have a 15 year old so i feel your pain

i have a soon to be 14 year old and my son learned to respect me, altho if i am having ahard time with the younger ones he abuses my authority.

 

[Laura2919]

I was smacked as a child and I have alot of respect for my mum, and am neither violent or aggressive person.. My wee man is too small to really discipline yet, but not decided what methods we will try yet.

Me too. My mum used to say 'do you want to go to the toilet' when we were out and we knew it meant a smack. I think it depends on how you come across. My mum was and is a fantastic mum and we all turned out ok. Chloe and Jaycee get naughty step but that doesnt seem to be affective anymore. I think every parent is different and in my opinion there is a difference between a smack and a slap, we were never beaten but we knew if my mum was to smack us we she had been taken to the limit.

 

[Laura2919]

well i dont like it but i do it especially when he doesnt listen and continues doing something dangerous and nothing else works.

OMG! 1 day.. seems like its just flown by.. Good luck hun

 

[TwilightAgain]

I personally don't think there is anything wrong with smacking (obviously it can't be too hard).

I was smacked as a child, on rare occasion when I really played up, it never did me any harm. I respected my Dad for it, I knew to behave. Now i've grown up and look back and see he was just trying to teach me right from wrong, and if I was being a toe-rag then I deserved it.

I'm not sure if I would hit my own child (not that I have one) but I can see why people do.

 

[xarlenex]

I haven't and have no intention of ever 'smacking' as a form of discipline.

I tryed to think of it as a toddler, we teach them don't do this etc. So if he has ever hit another child we tell him its wrong. So to then hit him would cause confussion "if mummy can do it I can do it" treat those how we would like to be treated kind of scenerio. I feel like hitting a child, then shouting at him for hitting someone else would really mess up his perception of right and wrong.

Its like swearing, no one wants a 3 year old sayin 'bad' words, therefore I dont allow swearing at all. If Kyle ever swore i'd be the first to discipline him for it. Now I know plenty parents who swear constantly around their children, then shout at them if they do it, now..surely that is giving mixed messages.

 

[Ilovemychild]

I was spanked as a child. I don't think it did me any harm, in fact I think it taught me a lot of lessons. I do, however, acknowledge that some people are very against it and find it very unaffective. My personal opinion, is that a spank or a "smack" is okay in certain circumstances. Hitting a child in anger is not okay. Physically harming a child is not okay. Smacking or tapping a hand while saying no or using a key word like "hot" (when teaching children to stay away from a stove), in my opinion is proper use of corporal punishment. Spanking a child and walking away is redundant. A child needs to be aware of why they are being punished.

I try to refrain from being physical when possible. I find it more affective to repeat myself, to explain "do not hit, its mean" or "quit throwing things, you are going to hurt someone." When he gets into something he's not supposed to be in, I tell him "no, don't touch that" and when he doesn't listen, I pick him up and divert his attention to his toys or something that he IS allowed to play with.

Raising children is tough. If it were easy, everyone would be able to it. I think every parent has the right to parent the way they deem fit. I believe whole heartedly that we "feel/know" the way our children learn best! I do not judge or hold anything against anyone-- we so, after all, have different opinions!!