Wtt until hubby is ready I guess...

[lisaalove]

It's weird to think I'm back in this thread, I didn't ever plan on being here again and honestly I'm not even sure if this is where I belong yet. I will always want a third child but after loosing my twins at what I thought was 9w2d and was really 7w2d... I'm almost afraid of trying again so for now I'll stay in this group and say were waiting, I want to give myself at least two months to grieve and have a clear idea of if I can mentally try again without it affecting me too much. We had one mmc as well in 2011 but we never saw the heartbeat and it didn't affect me as much.
We currently have two wonderful boys at home who are 9 and 4 and the last week or so since we found out we lost the twins my 9 year old keeps telling me he loves me and never wants to see me this sad again. He is such a sweet and empathetic kid and I don't ever want him to have to see me like this again. Hence the confusion, but I also know the feeling for another child will never go away. I've imagined three kids my entire life. So for now I suppose were waiting until February.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I'm so sorry for your loss

Aww, your 9 year old sounds so empathetic and caring

 

[lisaalove]

I'm so sorry for your loss

Aww, your 9 year old sounds so empathetic and caring

He really is! And thank you.

 

[lisaalove]

Obviously I know waiting is what my body needs right now but it's weird. I expected to not want to try again. For the first week and a half after I found out I thought I didn't want to keep trying, yet for some reason now all I can do is think about trying again. I'm trying to take it one day at a time and I'm sure once winter break rolls around time will feel like its going by a little faster but right now and well for the last two and a half weeks it feels like everything is standing still.

 

[Bevziibubble]

Thinking of you

 

[lisaalove]

Waiting, if there is one thing I hate it is waiting.... I am not a patient person especially when its something I know I want. I've been waiting since my youngest was born. Almost 5 years, I hate waiting. I have known for as long as I can remember that I was supposed to have three children. I am so tired of waiting... I am still bleeding from the surgery but I am hoping my body will return to normal soon enough and my cycles will start up again. I want this, I just stood staring at the baby stuff in target today. Part of me wanted to break down and cry. The other part of me wanted to buy everything in sight. Why is this so hard, I still remember my mother trying with all her might to have her last, with all of her fertility issues. Part of me is terrified that will be me, especially after I had this last mmc.

 

[Bevziibubble]

 

[lisaalove]

I think I'm gonna ovulate any day now and I hate that I'm waiting and I'm going to watch this ovulation period go by. if I'm being positive I cant even try or dtd cause I haven't been cleared which makes it a little easier to wait. But stilllllll I'm so impatient!

 

[Bevziibubble]

 

[lisaalove]

I had my appointment today and my OB gave me the all clear to have fun again but no trying until Jan 22 so waiting until February to start ttc again. I'm 1dpo today and waiting to see how/if my cycles return to my normal 28/29 day. I'll still be tracking ovulation until we try but from my previous tracking and the ovulation tracking from the other day says I should ovulate the first week of February. Hoping someone will join me in the wait!

 

[Bevziibubble]

Best of luck for February

 

[lisaalove]

Thanks it's been nice to have you going through all this with me

 

[Bevziibubble]

 

[Cewsbaby]

Im waiting until Feb 2020 to try for #3 also! I actually ovulated today. I want to wait because we are military and moving Sep/Oct time frame and I don't want to be moving with a new born baby so hopefully I will just be pregnant (even if its the last month or so) moving. I cant wait much longer because DH will change his mind and also I will be 36+ when I have my last one.

 

[lisaalove]

Im waiting until Feb 2020 to try for #3 also! I actually ovulated today. I want to wait because we are military and moving Sep/Oct time frame and I don't want to be moving with a new born baby so hopefully I will just be pregnant (even if its the last month or so) moving. I cant wait much longer because DH will change his mind and also I will be 36+ when I have my last one.

Hiii!!
Nice to have someone else in here so I'm not entirely rambling to myself. I totally get not wanting a newborn while dealing with the stresses of PCSing (not military but my sil is and step dad was) I'm on CD2 right now and the wait is sucking. I just want to be pregnant with a healthy me and healthy baby

 

[lisaalove]

Today is a hard day, I want to be happy and excited and enjoying the day. But today I should also be 15w and doing a gender reveal. I should be getting to know my twins a little better. I made an appointment with a therapist, I should probably talk to someone before we try again. I didn't think the loss would hurt this much, and yet it does. On the other hand since AF showed up that means I am one cycle closer to being able to try again.

 

[Bevziibubble]

Thinking of at this difficult time

 

[Cewsbaby]

I am so sorry your having such a hard time. I hope talking about it with someone will help. Ive been there. I was pregnant at 20 and lost that baby. 15 years later I still think about that baby and wonder who he/she would be today. Its insane to think I would have a 15 year old when I have a 4 and 1 year old too.

 

[lisaalove]

I am so sorry your having such a hard time. I hope talking about it with someone will help. Ive been there. I was pregnant at 20 and lost that baby. 15 years later I still think about that baby and wonder who he/she would be today. Its insane to think I would have a 15 year old when I have a 4 and 1 year old too.

Yeah I know the feeling, I've had a mmc before but I never saw a hb so it doesnt feel the same, I thought I was safe this time. I should have a 9, 8 (angel baby) 6 (angel baby) my 4 yo and now the twins. I'm hoping talking to someone will help because I'm just feeling like poop about it all, though some days (majority) I'm fine and others it's like a title wave.

I hope you're doing good though! We've got a month left fx it goes by fairly quick lol. My phone keeps creating these videos of "they grow up so quick" and I'm just like omg my babies aren't babies anymore they're big kids! Af has officially left and I'm wondering how this cycle will play out and when I'll ovulate.

 

[Cewsbaby]

I have a little longer to wait! Right now I am just letting myself have fun over the holidays and not worry about any of it! I know that when the time comes I will be obsessing over it and Im just trying to let myself really just go with the flow. I have anxiety and a touch of anxiety related OCD so I know how bad I get. I really hope you find someone that can help you! I know how bad those feelings can get.