WTT with a view to TTC in Sept/Oct/Nov - looking for a TTC buddy!

[Soniamillie01]

Hi all, sorry for being a little slack today, I've had one of those days at work!

Emz - friend request a way, excited to have so many buddies!
MaznDave - I too am nervous and keep getting little thoughts pop in my head but agree that 100000 positives will outweighs the negatives.

I'm kind of in a really tricky position and would really appreciate some thought? About two months ago I applied and interviewed for a new job. At the time
I really wanted it but after discussions with DH and the whole wwc I decided it wasn't for me and didn't go for the final interview (3rd interview). The agency understood but have since called to say they wanted to offer me the job anyway, with more money than originally advertised at. I said no as reasons for pulling out in first place were not £ related, they keep coming back to me now. Whilst this is really flattering and the job does appeal to me just think best to stay where I am. And on that subject my current job is secure ( well as secure as any I guess at the moment ) but my boss drives me insane!
I am a senior manager who reports into her in her director role. She does absolutely NO work and expects me do it, I'm not bragging but I honestly do her job, she does nothing and takes the credit for my work - and is paid extortionately for it(!!!). Everyone at work knows this is the case and I have brought it up with HR before but they wanted me to make it official but I didn't want to as we, or I thought we were good friends.

Sorry to go slightly off topic but do you think stay were put and ride out hopefully with a BFP in Jan or go for this other job? My instinct is telling me to stay as I know she is also looking for another job.

Also - what pre pregnancy tabs are ppl taking? I'm only taking folic
acid, am I missing something?

Sonia

 

[MissBroody]

Soniamillie01 - that's a really tricky one. Congratulations on being offered the job though, despite not going to the final interview. You must have given a really good account of yourself - that's very flattering that they're so desperate for you It sounds like your gut instinct is saying to stay where you are? Especially if your boss is looking for a new job - she could well be gone by the time you get your BFP in Jan and even if she's not - it won't be long til you're on Mat leave anyway! I'd definitely do something about the fact you do all her work though - that's shocking!!

I have a question along those lines!! I start a new job a week monday, it's part time (21 hours) and if we were to get our BFP in October (which I pray happens!) and I announce it to my employer at, say, 13 weeks - after the all-clear scan - I will have only been at work 16 or 17 weeks. I know this company sets no limit on how long you have to be there before being paid full mat pay so that's not a problem, it's just the personal side to it really - I will barely be into the swing of my new role before announcing I'll be leaving (hopefully) at the end of May 2012 ? I feel like I'd be letting my boss down in a way? Any thoughts?

As for prenatals - with my DS I took the Pregnacare Conception capsules for 3 months leading to his conception and for the first 3 months of pregnancy but they cost me an absolute fortune (not to mention they were huge!!) I didn't have iron deficiency or anything like that.. so this time I'm juts taking folic acid daily, and eating as healthy diet as I can with plenty of fruit/veg and water.

xx

 

[Soniamillie01]

Thanks MissBroody - I think you right and my gut instinct is to stay,
I am very well respected in my job ( again not wanting to sound big headed ) but have earned that through delivery results. I just hope she does move on,
I know she is looking so fingers crossed.
I don't like saying that as I actually really like her as a person but she just sweet FA (sorry) and takes credit for my work. I know the CEO knows as HR mentioned it and she said that she did have her own thoughts in the matter, along the same lines but if I wanted something done I would have to make it official and not prepared to do that and work on a horrible environment!

I see where your coming from with the new job but you've got to do what is right for you. I thought you said to someone for 11 weeks before, although I could be completely wrong. I wish companies still offered their own maternity packages as I would be ttc all the time

Thanks for info on tabs, my levels are ok so will just continue on the folic and diet diet diet - hoping for 3lb off this week to take me to 1st 1/2 off! Only 3 to go but I will get there x

 

[Soniamillie01]

Hi all, sorry if not posting on the right board but wanted some advice. DH and I were sue to NTNP at the end of the BCP (7 left) and we have been talking about maternity pay etc. Having looked online I think I'm right in that I will get 90% of salary for the first 6 weeks and then £128 something for the remaining 33 weeks. In addition child benefit at £20 or so a week.

Have I got that right?

Having done the online tax credit calculations I don't think we would qualify but I am not sure ???? Can anybody help / advise? I think the reason we wouldn't qualify if because my salary is quite high (circus £35k) but surely they should take into account that not earning? Seems that they penalise ppl who work and earn a living?

I'm completely devastated as will mean the NTNP / WTC will all go on hold toll god knows when. Unless I go back to work after 6 weeks ( which I DO NOT want to do), is that even allowed? Would meandull time child care which will cost a bomb

GUTTEFD

 

[Soniamillie01]

Sorry for the randomness of the above but posted elsewhere but wanted to see of you ladies had any advice?

 

[Emz1982_in_uk]

Sorry for the randomness of the above but posted elsewhere but wanted to see of you ladies had any advice?

Hun, I think the tax credit cut off is 45k combined. They do take into account you being on mat leave I believe. Might be worth giving them a call for some advice x

 

[Emz1982_in_uk]

Sonia - I am in a similar position whereby I work for a Police Force but am studying a teaching degree. Ideally I want to change jobs to work in a school BUT for now my job is secure and I think a job change may be too much with a pregnancy, study etc so I'm staying and will look to leave in my return to work.

MissB - If u work quite late into your pregnancy then you would have been there a year or so?! I wouldn't worry too much Hun

You all reminded me - must buy folic acid

 

[Soniamillie01]

Thanks Emz, yes I think it's about £41k which we would be over and someone else said they don't count the first £100 of mat pay, how true that is I don't know. Don't think we would get anything so may have to NTNP on hold

 

[almosthere]

Hi Ladies. I have been swamped with work all day also, so sorry for the slacking!! Hehe.

Mazendave-I am sooo nervous. Sometimes I wonder if I am getting in over my head. I got especially nervous about being only about a month away from ttc, after getting a call from my OBGYN today. She told me a need to go see an OBGYN who specializes in HIGH RISK pregnancies. My heart sunk, I didn't think I would be considered a high risk patient, especially being only 22. I suppose it is because of my mother's high amount of miscarriages/stillborns (11 =( ) and my husbands father' miscarriage (baby had water in brain =( )
I also have Vitamin B-12 deficiency which is around the same lines of Anemia. But I am going to take folic acid starting tomorrow and prenatals, so I do not know what else this doctor can do for me-just scarey. A little off topic, but back to your question. I am somewhat nervous about the early stages of parenting with such a delicate tiny person, but not so much later on (4 months and up) because I have babysat for an almost 4 month old and it was breezy (although I am sure only because I was there in the day time/early evening!) But none the less, I do have much experience with babies!

MissBroody- Hopefully the high risk OBGYN doc. will bring good news for me to keep on my tracks and start ttc in October, so we shall start the ttc journey together around the same time, so exciting! Can you believe tomorrow is already SEPTEMBER?! Wow, time is going by faster than I thought and making me a bit nervous-the reality of me getting pregnant soon is really starting to hit me.

Hope everyone else is doing well and excited to be one day closer to your ttc date as of tomorrow!

 

[Elz]

Hey girls. I'm in a little different situation... We're moving this Saturday closer to home (which is great!) but this means I need to find a new job (which sucks). I've already applied for so many and have been turned down/not heard from them all! It really gets me down because I get the feeling that they don't want to employ me because I haven't long been married and babies come soon after! It also forces me to wait to TTC because of maternity pay etc. I read that you need to have worked somewhere for 26 consecutive weeks by the time you're 15 weeks before your due date to qualify for maternity leave, so I'm not sure what to do!
Obviously I want a baby more than anything but we'd really struggle if I didn't work and didn't get maternity pay!

Anyway, my rant is over! Hope you ladies are doing ok today!
x

 

[mazndave]

MissBroody, I never really thought about the fact that it could be scary 2nd time around because you know exactly what childbirth is like!! And yeah, a baby AND a toddler does sound like very hard work! I suppose I was thinking about how much life changes from being childless to having a baby, and it didn't really occur to me how much it would effect couples having their 2nd, 3rd etc. I can see how it would be more difficult as you have to share yourself out and can't devote all your time to a new baby like us first timers!!

Sonia, it is a massive worry to me about how we will survive with the drop down to £128 per week, but this is the main reason why we are WTT. We know that we've got the 9 months of pregnancy + our WTT months to put money aside, so that we won't be as short when the time comes. We're trying to save at least £600 per month so that I can add this back onto my SMP when I'm off, and not be quite as short on cash as we would have otherwise been. Is this not something that you can do?

Almosthere, sorry to hear that you would be considered as a high risk pregnancy, but the good thing is you now know in advance, and can take all the steps towards making sure that you are as healthy and prepared as can be, and the Doctors will know to monitor you throughout. Everything will be fine!! This reminds me though that I must start taking folic acid etc.

I'm off on holiday this weekend so won't be able to come on here for a week As much as I'm looking forward to the break, I'm also looking forward to getting back and catching up with the news on here!!

xxx

 

[mazndave]

Hi Elz,

I don't envy you having to look for a new job, I'm lucky that I've been where I am now a long time, so have no worries about taking time off, getting SMP etc.

Sometimes it sucks being a woman -I think you're right that being a certain age etc, some employers will just presume we will leave to have a baby and won't bother to hire us. Very unfair and potentially illegal, but it can't be proven that that's the reason so they can get away with it! They reclaim the SMP that they pay out anyway, so I don't even know why they get so worked up about maternity!!

Not all are like this though, so keep trying and you will get there.Think Positive!
Bear in mind as well that 26 weeks before the 15th week before dd, actually means you only have to have worked there for one week before falling pregnant! So as soon as you have a job you can get cracking. Even if you just found something part time and didn't earn enough to qualify for SMP with them, you still may be able to get maternity allowance from the government. Don't give up hope yet!

xxx

 

[Elz]

mazndave- you have got such a positive outlook!! Thanks for the advice

I just wish there was an easy way out, but life doesn't work like that unfortunately!! Ideally I'd love to set up my own business and work from home but I have no idea what I'd do! lol

I can't believe it's the 1st of September already! Time is flying by! I bet you're getting more excited by the day! 3 weeks and 4 days will fly by!

Take care x

 

[Elz]

I know this is irrelevant but I really want one of those pretty little tickers everyone has but I'm not sure how to put it on!! I've tried copying and pasting both types of codes into the box but all that comes up is a white square with a red cross in it....
Is there anything else I'm supposed to be doing? lol
x

 

[mazndave]

I think you have to try and stay positive about everything, otherwise I'd never do anything for worrying about it!

I had to get up really early this morning and was absolutely knick knacked, so my new fear is the tiredness - how will I be able to function on 3 hours sleep everynight?! Trying hard to stay positive about this as well - 3 hours is better than none, right?!! Eeek!

3 weeks and 4 days, blimey. I'm getting very excited, it's weird to think that this time next year I could have a baby....we all could

RE the ticker, is it a HTML code as I don't think you can use those, has to be BB code. Look at me like I know what I'm on about - I haven't got a clue what that means!!!

Mine says url at the beginning and end of the code (after [/IMG], does the one you are trying say that? It took a while to show up after I'd put mine on, so maybe it will work eventually?

xxx

 

[MissBroody]

I'm going to try and remember what everyone said, I've not logged on for at least 12 hours

Elz - I made my ticker on lilypie.com - the full length ones. To get it on here you copy the url (I think..!) so should be at the front of it. I al...OOPS! I said I wouldn't do that :blush: xx

 

[MissBroody]

mazndave - you will soon think 3 hours consecutive sleep is wonderful In all seriousness - your body adjusts and learns to function on less sleep. I absolutely love my sleep and wondered how I would cope but you just do. Has anyone thought about how they're feeding baby? Breast or bottle? and what type of birth you'd like? Such a scary thought - we could all have babies next year !! I hope we all get our 2012 bundle of joy
xx

 

[Elz]

Yay I've managed to work my ticker!! lol thanks for the help! The instructions on the website I was using was wrong and that's why it didn't work! I think I'll add another one

There's never a perfect time to TTC. My sister-in-law and her hubby both had amazing jobs, lovely house and cars etc then when she was about 3 months pregnant her hubby got made redundant. You just can't predict what will happen, you just have to make the best of the situation you're in!

Regarding feeding baby, I think I'd like to breast feed, or at least give it a go! And I'd like a natural birth, but again we can't really plan these things because certain obsticles can get in our way and force us to change our plans! Being a woman is tough! lol
x

 

[mazndave]

Yay it worked!! Wow, you're a proper newlywed, I've been married nearly a year and a half now, and wish I could do it all over again. I love the picture in your avatar as well, what a gorgeous wedding photo. I'd put one of mine on, but daren't on the off chance that someone I know will be on here and recognise it, and it'd ruin our surprise!! I think once I'm actually pregnant and everyone knows, I'll change my pic!!

Aaw, I'll miss all you too. I'll get back from holiday and I'll be like "I don't care if there's washing that needs doing, or you want your tea - there are 150 posts to catch up on on babyandbump!! Go away!!"

MissBroody, don't panic - you've done it once before and you'll do it again! And it's not like it was years ago either so little should've changed, you'll be preggers before you know it.

Naughty naughty buying those booties I'm obsessed with all things owl as it'd match my nursery theme - well I went to Tesco last night on my own, and there was a gorgeous pink t-shirt with an owl on and it says 'little tweetie'.I was so tempted to buy it and hide it away in a drawer so OH didn't think I was mental!! It was only £2.50 as well. Managed to restrain myself - I'm convinced if I bought pink things it'd turn out blue, and vice versa. If I ever do give in to temptation I'll have to buy something of each just to appease the God of baby gender decision making!!

The kind of birth I'd like is one that lasts about 20 seconds, none of this 50 hour nonsense for me please! In all seriousness though, I'd like it to be completely natural, no epidural etc, but what will be will be. I'm wondering also what a water birth would be like?

Not sure about feeding - I think I'd like to try to breast feed but I may express it so that hubby could help out with feeds if I'm really tired etc. We shall see...

xxx

 

[Soniamillie01]

Hi all, sorry I am slacking again today, work is always so crazy busy.

I'm sorry for my negativity re ttc / wtc / mat pay just seems so unfair.
I think we are going to look into it more tonight in terms of income and outgoings and what we can save between now and then. Plus child care costs and when I would come back to work etc and if could do part time. Feeling a little more positive today, my DH is so lovely saying he'll work something out.

Have a fan hols - I sit in meetings and think hurry up I am missing my BnB posts so crazy to think that this time nxt year we could have all had LO's.

I definitely want a water birth, have been a water baby all my life. Ideally like naturally but will see about that. My DH and mum will be there, DH happy to let mum take over I.e be in birthing pool (probably with her snorkel and camera) as he is a little nervous about it all.

So lucky to have you ladies to chat with, thanks again and sorry for being slack