Y oh Y oh Y - I now want to cry!

[lexx7]

Ok, so I am going to let off a bit of steam here

I do my utmost to stay positive in my thoughts and actions as I know how much it helps with just about everything, but I'm sat here listening to my dh coughing - he is currently confined to the spare room as I can't risk getting ill.!!

I'm on cd12 and am getting faint opk's and so am expecting them to get darker and positive over the next couple of days. This is my 43rd month of ttc!!!!!!!

I was feeling so upbeat about having survived taking soy iso's and nervously but excitingly starting progesterone cream and now it just seems like a whole waste of sodding time My progesterone level has proven to be very low the last 2 cycles i had it checked and I am really hoping this combo will do the trick, but what’s the sodding point if I can't

We have just got back into the swing of things and dh's low sex drive was taking a turn for the better - so why oh why did he have to get ill now!!!! We the last 2 days, but the chances of those swimmers hanging around until I ov, which could well be next weekend, are slim to nada!!! I was so chuffed that dh was getting his sex drive back at long last and just loving being closer again and of course hoping that it led to us finally, finally getting our much wanted but then he wakes up feeling crappy!!! He hasn't been ill in over 3 years as I give him so many natural pills and potions, so why oh sodding bloody why does he have to get ill now, right when I am hoping my chances are the highest they have ever been!!

With all of my weird and wonderful health things I'm so scared of germs - the last time I was ill I fought off going to the evil hospital because such a simple cold can kill someone with Mg!!! I got thorough it with natural things and I've avoided it for a year now, but I’m so paranoid I may as well walk around in a chemical suit to go shopping!!! To think I was fit and healthy 6 years ago - why the hell did I get all of these sodding things!!! Yes I know I say why in my sig, but right now I am very very upset….

My positivity is out the window right now, waving back at me saying, - "oy, slap yourself and let me back in its kinda chilly out here!! "

Ok rant over - I just wanted to vent so that I don't burst into tears for the 3rd time today

 

[happygal]

aww hun i so sorry you're having a bad time. im sorry ive not got anything to say to make it all better...if i could, i would though

 

[lexx7]

Thanks Happygal

I don't often have a moan but I'm just so fed up - every time I hear him cough I want to cry

 

[seoj]

Just wanted to say best of luck hun!!! Sorry your DH is sick... no fun! Can you just put on a mask and DTD anyway? Maybe he'll be feeling better soon hun.

Baby dust!!!

 

[kimbotrav]

ahhhhh i feel for u i really do i hope he manages to get better soon big hugs and lots of baby dust 2 all

 

[cajunbabe]

Aww, so sorry. I can't even imagine what you are going through or feeling. However, I would suggest a gas mask for the followed by disinfecting of everything except your va-jay-jay afterwards.

 

[Sweedot]

Whatever u do, don't give him lemsip, or u can kiss goodbye to baby making,

Feel better

Hugs

 

[Feelcrazy]

That is such a bummer. I wish I had some advice but I just keep think of weird sanitary ways to hve sex lol
I'm sorry Hun! It's very frustrating to not get a good shot
I really think if you keep with the soy and prog cream that will truly help you concieve
I'm doing the cream this cycle and the past months did soy and loved it. Next cycle I will be doing both. Hopefully that will help!

 

[yellowbell]

aww, sorry to hear that, hun. I know how frustrating it can be, but we just have to be more patient. I'm sure your DH just loves you very much that's why he doesn't you to get sick yourself.
My DH won't even let me kiss him when he is sick because he said he doesn't want me to get infected.

 

[lisalou31]

sending you hopefully he's feeling better in a few days and you can get back to

 

[doctordeesmrs]

Hopefully he feels better soon

 

[mandij33]

Sorry hun

This might sound weird.. but I have done it before.. when hubby was sick
do it manually... just give him a lil hand relief, collect the goods in a clean container and self inseminate. Might sound crazy lol
My friend got pregnant that way
seems a waste of a cycle otherwise.. and saves him all the effort now he's sick

Good Luck hun

 

[lexx7]

Thanks everyone

I love all the suggestions of wearing a mask and mandij33, well I am game for anything He has gone to work today and says he feels fine, I am hoping he is telling the truth but he is a bugger for saying he is ok just so that I won't fret and he can go to work!!

Opk's are still driving me nuts - I'm just not getting a clear result with them at the moment and I am doing at least 4 a day

Thanks so much for the replies - I'm not overly convinced that he is ok yet and I have no idea if the soy and prog cream will work. But you have all really cheered me up, now I just need to find a mask - I wonder if dh's diving one will suffice I need to get back to telling myself it happens when the time is just right

 

[lexx7]

Well that's me out for another sodding month!!! My dh has come home saying he feels even worse and has gone straight to bed!! We had a little row as I expressed how upset I am that something always seems to get in the way at the time I ov and he argued back saying I have gone against my word as I had said that we were now for enjoyment not simply to make a baby!!! I actually was hoping for both

I really do want to cry but it won't solve a thing. I can hear him coughing and I am so scared of catching anything He even said do I want him to do it in a pot - well it would help, but he said it with such anger he really doesn't want to and to be honest, I don't really want to make a baby that way either

Why is life so bloody harsh - what did I do so wrong

Sorry, I'm moaning again I've had an almost positve opk today and I can feel cramps in my ovaries already, so ov is iminent in the next 24 hours i reckon and I somehow don't think the swimmers from Sunday morning are going to still be hanging on until then

Why is it so difficult??!!!! I have enough to contend with! And so much for Gail and her reading - yes ok I caved in last month and got an email from her She sent a big long email and said that she felt very very strongly that I would conceive in January this year!!!!!!!!!! Well unless by some fluke I get my af at day 28 (the last 2 have been cd35) then ov on jan 31st, it ain't gonna happen!!!

Oh sod it - this ttc milarky is just too much heartache and you would've thought I had learnt not to get upset after 3 and a half years of dissapointment

 

[Clanger]

So sorry to hear of your struggles.You sound like a very brave lady, you are allowed to have cries, rants and down days after all you've been through.You need them to let off steam and get you. Pma back.Am really hoping your man makes a massively speedy recovery.Best of luck.

 

[lexx7]

Thank you Clanger that is very kind of you

I'm now going through the emotion of hoping the swimmers from Sunday will hang on in there I don't know why I do it to myself!!

 

[cajunbabe]

 

[Mrs LL]

Lexx7, I ll keep my fingers crossed for you!Dont give up

 

[lisalou31]

Hun i feel for u i get sooo annoyed with OH sometimes cause something comes up around when im ovulating and i have the realisation that im out for another month most months i havent even dtd anywhere near the time i o so i dont even get to feel the hope that comes with the 2ww...Your not totally out though some women think the month was a loss after only once 5-7 days before ovulating only to get their bfp... good luck

 

[lexx7]

MrsLL - thank you I won't ever give up , I just can't, I'm programmed to keep going no matter what It just gets tough sometimes but I will get there thanks again

Lisalou31 - thanks so much I felt like crying when I just read that (sorry, not in a bad way .) I'm not going to get my hopes up - I'm sat here with cramps in my ovaries and not quite sure why as I only got an almost positive opk today, surely I can't ov that soon well it would be great if i am but hey who knows And oh goodness, why is that something comes up at ov time - I know exactly where you're coming from with that one We seem to dtd a few times the week before ov and then dh gets stressy and his sex drive goes the week i am due to ov!! Or I end up in pain and don't stand a chance I actually willed my af on just before Christmas as I was so excited about trying the soy and prog cream and here I am saying ho hum, into Feb we go Lots of to you and thanks again