I'm jealous! I wish my DH would display some sort of emotion about LTTC! At first, he denied the issue was with him, insisting I should go get a second opinion because there could be something wrong with me. The nerve, if anything he should be retested! He's way too optimistic about it, even going as far as to tell me, "It will happen when it happens". Don't feed me that bs! Because nearly 2 years later and still childless, it's more than likely not going to happen without assistance!!
Then he told me that he doesn't believe in IVF and he's against it. I told him that if we were going to stay married, then we're having IVF and using deployment $$ to fund it. That ended that argument.
Overall, he ignores it like it doesn't exist. When the subject does come up, we end up arguing because I'm sick of going thru this alone, when I don't even have the issue! LTTC with MF is hard enough, but having a DH who offers you no support makes it that much harder.
Sorry for the meltdown.
My DH is of the mind that it will happen when it happens, he wants another baby as much as I do but I don't think he notices how much time passes as much as I do.
With our daughter it took us 7 years, in the end it happened without any assistance but because it took so long I'm afraid that the next one will take as long (or not at all) but he just keeps on being patient about it. Sometimes it drives me nuts, especially when I comment on how long it's been and he says "it'll happen when it's meant to happen" but he's just more patient than I am.
I'm jealous! I wish my DH would display some sort of emotion about LTTC! At first, he denied the issue was with him, insisting I should go get a second opinion because there could be something wrong with me. The nerve, if anything he should be retested! He's way too optimistic about it, even going as far as to tell me, "It will happen when it happens". Don't feed me that bs! Because nearly 2 years later and still childless, it's more than likely not going to happen without assistance!!
Then he told me that he doesn't believe in IVF and he's against it. I told him that if we were going to stay married, then we're having IVF and using deployment $$ to fund it. That ended that argument.
Overall, he ignores it like it doesn't exist. When the subject does come up, we end up arguing because I'm sick of going thru this alone, when I don't even have the issue! LTTC with MF is hard enough, but having a DH who offers you no support makes it that much harder.
Sorry for the meltdown.
I'm jealous! I wish my DH would display some sort of emotion about LTTC! At first, he denied the issue was with him, insisting I should go get a second opinion because there could be something wrong with me. The nerve, if anything he should be retested! He's way too optimistic about it, even going as far as to tell me, "It will happen when it happens". Don't feed me that bs! Because nearly 2 years later and still childless, it's more than likely not going to happen without assistance!!
Then he told me that he doesn't believe in IVF and he's against it. I told him that if we were going to stay married, then we're having IVF and using deployment $$ to fund it. That ended that argument.
Overall, he ignores it like it doesn't exist. When the subject does come up, we end up arguing because I'm sick of going thru this alone, when I don't even have the issue! LTTC with MF is hard enough, but having a DH who offers you no support makes it that much harder.
Sorry for the meltdown.
My DH reacted the same way to then news that he was the problem. He literally heard magical different words coming from the doctor. Somehow, a million good sperm for IUI was AWESOME in his mind...even after I showed him study after study with single digit success rates for post-wash counts under TEN million. He then kept telling everyone that I had issues because I spotted a few cycles so the ob/gyn put me on Clomid before ever testing DH. For the record, our chart at the FS says "male factor infertility" and the doctor said that I have no issues. Thanks, doc. Then the urologist told DH that he was "super," according to DH...which just meant "you don't have a varicocele, but you should do ICSI." After I refused IVF and had a massive meltdown, telling DH that this was all his fault, he FINALLY realized that he wasn't "just fine." Then he got really sad and started dealing with it realistically. I felt bad for being so mean to him about it, but I was sick of being "blamed." I've now caved on the IVF and we're starting next week, hopefully. I think men just aren't capable of hearing that their swimmers have problems
Hope your DH gets it together soon
That fecking selective hearing!
Every time I confront him about being in denial he just brushes it off. So hopefully one day he'll wake up and smell the before I've lost my marbles and can't LTTC anymore.
Another fellow poster told me, what they fail to realize is that we're going thru this hell because we love them and want to have their baby. I could've filed for a divorce last year, given that IF was tearing our marriage apart. I wasn't dealing well with it, and he wasn't acknowledging anything. But I didn't. I really hope that he sees that.
Thank you for your story and letting me know I'm not alone in unsupportive DHs.