★ October & November 2020 Hedgehogs ★

[Pineberry]

hun sorry to jump in but just wanted to let you know I had two scary bleeds whilst on progesterone suppositories and my friends did too xx

You are always welcome to chime in on here Thank you for letting me know! hmm, I am a bit skeptical anyway as to how useful it is for me, I mean the placenta should be producing enough progesterone by itself and I think it only helps minimally with the hematoma. I havent taken it the past 2 evenings. Brown spotting is a bit increased again today. Will ask my doctor later at my appointment!

@JessdueJan I am glad all is going well pregnancy wise! I can definitely imagine it being quite a challenge being quarantined with kids, sorry to hear that its been rough. Hope your husband is home and able to help out a lot?

@stacey1986 wohooo!! Good luck at your ultrasound, cant wait to hear how it went and to see your bub!

 

[stacey1986]

Bit of a surreal and mixed feelings kinda day, especially with everything that's going on at the moment. Today started off with me going to my scan on my own. When there i found out that we were initially having twins but unfortunately one stopped growing at 8 weeks Thankfully though other baba is doing brilliantly and measuring exact to the date which is 12wks+3 Never thought I'd have that feeling again, so am truly thankful that other baby is ok ❤❤

 

[Flueky88]

Stacey yay for scan. I'm so sorry you lost a baby, but happy other baby is growing perfectly.

Necessities really vary. It depends much on your baby. My 1st loved being swaddled and my 2nd did not. A swing worked for my 1st but not 2nd. Bassinet used for 1st but not 2nd. My 2nd would only sleep with me, I know it wasn't ideal but I did practice safe cosleeping. Oh my first loved her pacifier and 2nd wouldn't have anything to do with it. Baby wearing was loved by both my girls. I used a baby ktan with 1st and a solly with my 2nd. Infant car seat! I didn't buy one for my 1st as I didn't realize how handy they were. I ended up borrowing one that one of my nephews used. I did buy one for my 2nd.

Sign up for as many baby registries as you can to score some free things. You can get different bottles typically. You just don't know which bottle they will prefer so it's nice having samples before spending a fortune

For postpartum moms: tucks pads, dermoplast spray, nipple cream, and adult pullups/briefs (much more comfortable than those bulky pads and maternity panties). Some breast pads in case you leak (never did with my 2nd and barely did with 1st).

 

[jellybeanxx]

@stacey1986 I’m sorry to hear about the twin but glad you’ve got a healthy baby in there sounds like quite a day! Hope you’re managing to get some rest now!

 

[co_fostermom]

Aw stacey I'm sorry about the one baby but I'm happy your other baby is doing really well. Lovely scan. What do they do about the one baby? I hope the rest of your pregnancy continues to go well.

Thanks everyone for the essentials advice! It's definitely starting to feel real this time. For now I'm sticking to things that will work in our lifestyle (city-dwelling, small homes, on-the-go). I've removed all the foster-focused items from the registry as those things were more geared toward 2 and 3 year olds, and I had a convo with DH yesterday about it and he felt pretty strongly that we should focus on our bio family. Amazingly that was a huge relief for me. Foster kids are a lot of extra work, and while I think each and every one of them is absolutely precious and would and have loved them as my own, I honestly don't think I could manage a foster and a bio at the same time.

 

[Flueky88]

Co glad DH was on the same page. I've never fostered but I do know life with a toddler and newborn is tough. I'm sure there are all kinds of extra issues that would be accompanied with a foster child and bringing home a newborn. I'd imagine insecurities and such.

 

[Joannaxoxo]

Happy Monday everyone. I hope you are all safe, healthy and not going too stir crazy.

I'm still working, my work place has put in many measures to keep our space safe. Locking doors to anyone who isn't an employee, lots of hand sanitizing stations, spacing out seating in lunch room, etc. So I'll continue to work unless my doctor tells me otherwise. Financially it is helping us anyway.

Stacey - lovely scan picture and I'm happy one of the babies is doing superb. So sorry for your loss of the other twin.

As for stuff for baby... 1st time moms will discover what works for them and what doesn't. Things also differ between individual babies. I know the things I want to get and won't bother getting but I also know that I can pick things up along the way if I decide I might need to try it. I have no baby items left, we couldn't store things at our old home before we moved and I figured they could go to someone who would use them... plus we didn't know if we even wanted anymore children at the time.

 

[stacey1986]

Aw stacey I'm sorry about the one baby but I'm happy your other baby is doing really well. Lovely scan. What do they do about the one baby? I hope the rest of your pregnancy continues to go well.

Thanks everyone for the essentials advice! It's definitely starting to feel real this time. For now I'm sticking to things that will work in our lifestyle (city-dwelling, small homes, on-the-go). I've removed all the foster-focused items from the registry as those things were more geared toward 2 and 3 year olds, and I had a convo with DH yesterday about it and he felt pretty strongly that we should focus on our bio family. Amazingly that was a huge relief for me. Foster kids are a lot of extra work, and while I think each and every one of them is absolutely precious and would and have loved them as my own, I honestly don't think I could manage a foster and a bio at the same time.

Thank you erm they aren't doing anything. They said that healthy baby will absorb the other twin and by my 20 week scan we shud no longer be able to see it. Sad but I'm happy theres atleast one healthy baba in there.
Will be offered extra growth scans to check on this baba

 

[Pineberry]

stacey, wow thats quite some news. I'm sorry for the loss of one of your twins. Do twins run in your family or was it pure coincidence? So happy to see other bubba doing perfectly well, and what a cutie on the ultrasound pic

I had a verbal appointment today and uuufff, some not good news. For some bizarre reason, I have been diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes dont know how that happened, I dont seem to have had any of the risk factors (healthy weight, physically active before getting pregnant, no diabetes in the family, etc.). I've been eating more unhealthy stuff since getting pregnant (especially week 6-8 because I had an aversion to most healthy foods), but I dont know if a few weeks of unhealthy eating could cause GD.

Will have to see an endocrinologist pretty soon who will examine it more deeply.

I have my next ultrasounds scheduled though, which makes my heart so happy: a 16 week scan on the 21st of April, and my 20 week anatomy scan on the 20th of May!

 

[co_fostermom]

Oh Pineberry that sucks! I have heard stories of women who've been able to reverse GD so maybe it'll be a temp thing for you? Either way, you'll pull through it! Yay for upcoming scans!!!

 

[jellybeanxx]

@Pineberry I’m sorry to hear about the GD! I’ve had it in both my pregnancies. I was diagnosed at 28 weeks the first time and 13 weeks the second time. I was able to remain diet controlled the second time. This time I’ve started eating that way since I got my BFP. It’s an adjustment but okay once you’re used to it.
It’s definitely nothing you’ve done. There are risk factors to GD. I most likely get it as I have PCOS. It can happen to anyone though and it won’t be because of what you’ve eaten the last few weeks at all.
This website and the associated facebook group have been invaluable to me. So do take a look. It covers diet (the 8 golden rules are a really good, basic explanation of how to eat), has brilliant recipe ideas and also covers some common myths about GD.
Please give me a shout if there’s anything I can help with, I’ve got a fairly good handle on it all by now!
Gestational Diabetes UK • Gestational Diabetes UK

 

[Pineberry]

Thank you so much Jelly that is quite reassuring to know I haven’t done anything to cause it. I did some more research about it today and will look into the website you have linked!

 

[Joannaxoxo]

Pineberry - sorry about your diagnosis, hopefully everything works out fine for you. I'm glad someone else in the group has some good advice for you (not that I'm glad you've experienced GD Jelly).

I hope everyone else is staying healthy and don't have cabin fever too badly. I told my husband to take the kids on a drive today, perhaps find a place they can have a little walk or outside time. We can't use public play grounds but can go on walks in our area. The kids have been fighting like cats and dogs, so they need time away from the house and our neighborhood. What is everyone else doing to keep cabin fever at bay? I'm still working so I can only help when I get home after 4pm.

 

[Fern81]

Hi everyone, nice to read so many updates.

Stacey wow I’m sorry to hear about the loss of the twin. I can’t imagine how you must feel. I’m happy for you that the other baby is doing well xx

Joanna my cabin fever is horrible, we’re not allowed outside, not even for a walk. Everyone had to stop working/has to work from home except essential care providers eg food manufacturing, pharmacists, health care providers. The only stores that are open are pharmacies and grocery stores- and they’re only allowed to sell essential items like food, baby formula, medicine. No cigarettes, alcohol, toys, etc from either of those 2 types of stores. Alcohol may not be transported. Even 99% of public transport is prohibited except for essential workers or those seeking essential care (food, medical, social grants). No travel between provinces (states). For my gynae appointment tomorrow I need a letter from the dr proving that I have an appointment. If you go grocery shopping you need to provide police with a receipt. If you are caught breaking any rules you get arrested. It’s crazy.

It’s become difficult to home school/entertain my ds with learning activities because I’m busy all day with online schooling my learners and doing chores. My husband lies on the couch, breaks lockdown to go drink with his friend, and scuba dives in the swimming pool that’s ALL. He refuses to help around the house and shouts at me because the house isn’t spotless (impossible to achieve). Also- because I lost my temper about his attitude in lockdown, he announced that he is tired of me wanting things my way and now he’s done with all of us, he is moving out, he won’t pay a cent for us anymore, he doesn’t care about us, and he says this CONSTANTLY in front of our son. Ds cried today and begged him not to leave. He just replies he doesn’t care. (I also can’t believe he is so callous but this is really what’s happening!) So my life is a nightmare. To be fair he is always like this, he is not a nice person. But it’s magnified now that he is at home and my poor son has to suffer, not only me. And he is trying to make me get an abortion. I guess we’ll see how this plays out. If he still wants to leave after lockdown I won’t stop him. He is breaking my son’s spirit, and mine.

 

[Flueky88]

Omg fern I'm so sorry your husband is being a complete ass! How cruel to be like that to his son! It sounds like you guys would be better without him.

Pine so sorry for GD diagnosis.

Jelly I'm sorry you have a history of GD. I'm so impressed with anyone that eats healthy 1st tri. I have aversions to anything healthy essentially.

 

[Fern81]

Thanks Flueky. Yes I’ll survive without him but I hope he gets his act together and doesn’t disrupt our son’s life in that way. He’s been like this for years but now the poor child is old enough to hear that dad wants to leave us and understand what leaving means. And he hears my husband threatening to hit me etc (although he hasn’t physically harmed me).

Pineberry, I forgot to say sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Did they do bloodwork or what is it based upon. Will be interesting to hear. I had a scare with my last pregnancy but it turned out my son is just very large genetically. I know it was unpleasant when we were under the impression it was GD. Good luck! I’m sure you will be able to manage it well though xx

 

[jellybeanxx]

@Fern81 I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. You deserve much better!

@Flueky88 it’s definitely more challenging at the moment! I’m not getting as much protein in as I’d like as it tends to make me feel sick and I don’t want to put myself off it for the rest of my pregnancy, especially the times later on where it can get a little trickier to manage blood sugar levels. I’m eating small regular meals with what protein/fat I can manage and a small amount of complex carbs. Luckily there’s a lot of veg I like and can have at the moment! I also have the odd sugar free sweet to suck on throughout the day which helps the nausea! I do get envious of women who can just eat what they want through pregnancy but this is just how my body reacts to being pregnant so I’ve got to roll with it. I’ll make up for when baby is born though

 

[Pineberry]

Thanks for your concern ladies Fern, the doc based the diagnosis on the bloodwork I did in a fasted state at 10w+3. I have a tele-consultation with an endicrinologist tomorrow. I have done keto in the past so its not too much of a problem, but I was really loving my bread and cereals this pregnancy oh well.

Also, @Fern81, that sounds truly awful and I am sorry to read that your SO is this way. I hope for you and your sons sake you can get out of this situation when this pandemic is over... Please dont think you are doing your son a favor by not leaving him - him witnessing mommy abuse daddy is going to affect him for a long time and likely already having a psychologial effect now, so it will be way better and healthier for both your kids to grow up not seeing daddy much, than to see him all the time but be this way to you.

Kids are like sponges and pick up on soo much, way before they even talk.. he is definitely picking up on the bad vibes in the home and is hurting from how daddy is being toward him and mommy. I hope you have a support system so getting out will be easier, but even if not, there are many places that can help.

Actually this is one of the many things that worry me about the pandemic - people are stuck at home now with their abusers, with no way to escape or go anywhere, and tensions already run way higher when being clumped together 24/7 making it impossible to get space from eachother... You and your babies deserve so much better than this man.

 

[co_fostermom]

Fern I am so sorry you are going through this. Having been a social worker in the past, like Pineberry said, there is help even if you don't have a support system. But since everyone is on lockdown in your country, I would call local authorities and ask about your options. You don't deserve to be treated that way, even if he's never physically harmed you, the fact that he has threatened should stand up in court for your defense, though I don't know much about the court system there admittedly. Also, if you don't want to get an abortion, you don't have to. It's your body, it's your choice, and if you're afraid for your or DS's safety, it would be good to start making some sort of plan to get out now. I know how hard it can be though. Do you have any family there nearby that you can call and talk to? Friends? Your doctor should be able to help as well. When is your next in person appointment? Will DH come to that? If so, you can give a note to the person who checks you in and they'll make sure the right people see it. You don't have to sit there and be afraid. Again, I'm sorry you're going through this, but you're a mom, so that automatically makes you stronger than the majority of the population. With the right support and help, you will get through this. Just remember you're not alone, especially now when you feel completely isolated from anyone and everyone.

 

[JessdueJan]

@Fern81 so sorry to hear about your husband but as someone else has stated please don't stay because you think that is best for your son. I speak from experience as someone who stayed in an abusive marriage for years longer than I should because I didn't want the kids to go through us splitting up. Turns out us leaving was the best thing for them, I didn't realise until I was out how truly broken they had become. 4 years later we are all happier and content but the damage is still there in so many ways. One of my sons has been diagnosed with ptsd stemming from early childhood trauma from being in that situation, my ex husband only got violent infront of the kids towards the end of the marriage but his words and his temper did damage long before any violence did.
Please please seek help, you don't have to wait until lockdown is over, there should be people you can contact who can get you out if need be. If you do stay, don't let him break your spirit, his behaviour is his fault and his problem not yours. Sending love and hugs xx