★ October & November 2020 Hedgehogs ★

[Fitz2020]

Hi everyone
Wow what took a while to catch up. I didn’t mean to leave it so long. All good with me and baby. Nearly 24 weeks now and have lots of movement, mainly at night though when I’m sitting or lying. I think I don’t notice it when I’m busy during the day. I also have an anterior placenta this time and didn’t feel much until about 20 weeks but can definitely feel the strong kicks now. I had my anomaly scan two weeks ago. All is great. I’m still team green! I was for my little boys pregnancy too. I have another scan in less than two weeks. Can’t wait, I just love seeing baby!

 

[Fitz2020]

Some pics of anomaly scan and my bump from about 2 weeks ago

 

[Flueky88]

Pine yay for new car and I cannot even fathom grocery shopping without a car.

So glad the echo went well. I'm also looking forward to feeling consistent movement.

Maybe your DH can help with grooming/shaving. If not you could get waxed. Funny story, when I was pushing my 1st out (I had epidural so couldn't feel and alsomy waters broke early at 34 +5 so wasn't shaved) I was looking at the ceiling panel which was a blurry reflection. I saw hair and asked if she was crowning,.....nope just my hair lady jungle

Joanna yes we got it fixed on the 10th. So glad to not have to hand wash dishes every night.

Omg that is awesome that you will work 4 days but get paid for 5. Lovely to get that extra rest and family time.

No cloth diapers for me. I can never get over the thought of poop in my washing machine.

No hip/pelvic/sciatic pain yet but sure it'll come in the next 4 to 8 weeks. Hope the physio helped.
Co I'm so happy that your DH was able to attend. Lovely scan pics.

Azure lovely bump and sorry for the gender disappointment on team blue. It's especially hard when you strongly felt it was the opposite. I guarantee you will fall in love with your boy which I'm sure you know.

Fern I'm sorry you didn't get to do gender reveal like you had planned.

I hope that the rules change once you are in your last month. Hard putting an extra financial burden on you. Also, very curious, is it a cultural or personal preference about husband not present for vaginal delivery?


Sorry for poor catch up life has been very busy. I'm doing well though. Both my girls had their wellness exams and both are 98th % in height. Weight is also in 90th % but is expected with their height. My next appt is a week from tomorrow, anatomy scan day

 

[Fern81]

Fitz you look lovely and I’m so glad your anomaly scan went well

Flueky- I’m still not getting consistent movement. Maybe 5 movements in the last 2 days. My dr said I just have to make peace with it. I could see him moving SO MUCH during the scan but felt nothing.

Interesting question. We have such a mix of cultures in SA. In my culture, most ladies I know have elective cs and then of course you want your husband with you. The only people I know who have given birth vaginally (in my generation) is myself, my sister and 1 cousin’s wife. That’s IT. And as it happens, both my sister and I personally feel a man shouldn’t see a baby and placenta being born vaginally, as well as vaginal tearing being stitched, plus everything being cleaned (as you know it’s VERY messy!). Even if I had the most hands-on, supportive husband in the world I would still REFUSE to have him in the room for the actual birth until everything has been cleaned up. Unless it’s a cs. So I guess it’s personal, not cultural, because in my culture everyone else has a cs!

 

[Joannaxoxo]

Fern - that weekly testing sounds extreme, especially since you have to pay out of pocket. Here, I was told that i'll only need to be tested for COVID if I'm booked for an elective c-section... not sure what happens to people who have an unexpected c-section? But I assume i'll only have to be tested once and our health care pays for it (but trying for a v-bac so might not have to be tested at all).

Fitz - love the scan pictures and bump shot! I can't believe how big they look at the 20ish week scans, yet I know if they were actually born they'd be so tiny.

Fern - we certainly do have such a mix of cultures here. I think c-sections are only about 30% of births here in Canada, but I know lots of different women who've experienced them, so thought it would be higher. My DH isn't squeamish, so he saw it all when I was giving birth to my first, he still jokes that he said my vagina 'looked like it was blowing a bubble' (when baby was crowing)... . So I can expect different cultures will treat births differently.

Not much to report here, had a busy weekend organizing my kids rooms (they got new loft style beds and DH had to assemble them). We also saw some family for the first time since March. I'm glad next weekend will be a quiet one, we need a rest after this weekend.

 

[co_fostermom]

Yay Fitz! Cute baby and cute bump!

I forgot to tell everyone but I haven't had any bleeding since I found the spot randomly last week. I think my skin probably just got irritated. Thanks for asking and your support!

Fern - that's so interesting about most women in your culture electing c-sections. I think the rates are higher in the US than in Canada, but most state and private hospitals discourage elective c-sections unless there's medical precedence for it. I don't know if I could do vaginal labor without the support of DH (who probably would just not know what to do anyway lol) but he's not the squeamish type when it comes to other people's messes and gore - only his own. So if he cuts himself and sees himself bleeding (or has to give blood and sees it going through the tube) he gets dizzy and might pass out, but if it's anyone else he's totally fine lol. He's already been made aware through various conversations with others that there's the potential for some really gross stuff during labor and birth, and he just totally doesn't care (at least, that's how he acts). He'd probably make a really good EMT lol. I can see why you wouldn't want your husband in with you though since he hasn't been super supportive. I'd probably ask one of my two close women friends who have been through it to come join me if I were in similar circumstances. Right now we're only allowed to have one support person plus a doula if we hire one. I really wish I could have one of my lady friends with me since she's a nurse consultant and a grandma and has been through it many times with her own daughters, but I have to choose at the moment so I'm not going to deny DH that special moment.

 

[CC94]

Update: We had our anatomy scan today @ 19w0d, baby girl is averaging 19w1d in measurements, weighing in @ approximately 9oz putting her in the 32%ile per AUA, 40% per LMP GA, following in her sisters footsteps

Confirmed girl, confirmed anterior placenta, though movements are now quite obvious. She is very low as I usually carry and am still not showing a bit.

She had her feet crossed below her knees and kept tapping them, she also had one hand on each side of her face , so fricking cute.

I’ve had a scan at every appointment for fun, no measurements, this one made it really real and the excitement has officially set in, our family feels so complete.

 

[co_fostermom]

Awe! Yay CC94!

 

[Fern81]

Ahhh CC94 so happy that you’re happy!

This anterior placenta bugs me, there are still days where I don’t feel any movement.

Foster that’s good that your husband isn’t squeamish lol!

I spoke to a few of my colleagues and all of them had cs, none can relate to wanting/not wanting husband/male partner at a vb. My husband isn’t squeamish at ALL but he said last night it’s “crazy” to want to watch a vb. He feels the same way I do. I’m definitely going to ask my dr how common that is in different cultures! Anyway my sister was with me when I gave birth last time but I won’t ask her this time due to the weekly covid testing she or I will have to pay for.

Some good news- I have a week long school holiday/break starting tomorrow! My mom has been looking after ds since my husband has been allowed to start working and she is quite fed up with the state of affairs as she is also trying to work from home (early childhood development centres including day care and pre-primary are still closed despite 99% of parents being allowed back to work..!!??) so she’s happy that I can take ds off her hands for a week! I’m looking forward to spending some time with him although I still have my other job (from home) and school work to do; I’ll do it during those stretches of time that he’s watching YouTube... a necessary evil

 

[JessdueJan]

@Fern81 YouTube has been a lifesaver in this house during lockdown! I hate it but if it keeps my kids occupied long enough for me to drink a hot cup of tea and gather my thoughts for 10 minutes then I'll take it in small doses!!
I can't imagine my partner not being with me for the birth of a baby or not wanting to be there, I find it interesting how it all goes on in other cultures though xx

 

[Pineberry]

Maybe your DH can help with grooming/shaving. If not you could get waxed. Funny story, when I was pushing my 1st out (I had epidural so couldn't feel and alsomy waters broke early at 34 +5 so wasn't shaved) I was looking at the ceiling panel which was a blurry reflection. I saw hair and asked if she was crowning,.....nope just my hair lady jungle

LOL! Thanks for the chuckle!

@Fitz2020 Aww love the bump! Also, glad everything went well with your anatomy scan, and your bubba is so cute

@CC94 Lovely to see such a happy update! Great ultrasound pics, she’s adorable!! It’s so funny what they do with their hands sometimes- during my anatomy scan my lil boy had his hands on top of his head for a while!

@co_fostermom Glad there has been no more spotting!

About partners being there at birth and watching - totally normal where I’m from in Europe, also I can’t imagine my SO not being there. I do want him to be slightly behind me though and not watch everything full front

All going well here so far - had some trouble with my insurance that I have via my employer, turns out the yearly budget they’ve set is reaalllly low so by the time i had my fetal echo, I had already maxed it out (without me knowing) and I had to pay for the echo fully out of pocket - was not cheap.. Anyway after many phonecalls and my SO’s cousin helping us (she works with this particular insurance), we now luckily have additional insurance. Our co-payments will be higher but at least we won’t have to pay for all the remaining ultrasounds, birth etc. out of pocket.

Other than that - well last night was the first time I was genuinely worried about bub’s lack of movement!

He’s been pretty quiet for a week now, but I’d still feel some kicks at night when lying down. Well, not last night! Literally radio silence, no movement at all. Of course, I worked myself up into a slight panic so I got up at 2AM, grabbed the doppler, went to the living room and just listened to him for probably about 20 minutes. He tends to notice when I put the doppler on because he’ll start moving, kicking the doppler and switching positions. It was nice listening to him for so long, and at least I was able to sleep after that.

I also calmed down after seeing most online sources say you’re only supposed to feel them move constantly and every day, after reaching the 28 week mark. And that movement is sporadic before that. Also read somewhere that they go through a major growth spurt around 25-26 weeks, so that might be it.

 

[Joannaxoxo]

Fern - lovely for you to get a nice break from work and spend time time with your ds. Are you able to go do anything fun with him during your break? Many things are re-opening here so my husband can take the kids to the beach finally... (I know it's winter where you are now).

Jess - YouTube is basically how my kids have survived being off school since March haha. Though my husband has been home with them and they still go on walks/play outside/do school work/etc, they spend the majority of the rest of the time on YouTube. Life Saver!

Pineberry - I feel very similar about movement. I think it depends on where baby is positioned.... some days I feel a lot and other days very little. I'm glad you mentioned the constant movement from 28+ weeks... I'll be less worried now.

Has everyone picked names out for their baby yet? I'm completely stuck on a name... I keep waiting for one to find me. Like hearing a nice name in a show or when speaking with someone... but so far nothing. I have a small list of names I like but don't feel like any one is his yet. Any ideas where to get some inspiration?

 

[co_fostermom]

Pine I understand the fear and concern! There have been a few days here and there where I hardly felt anything at all - tried laying down, eating a snack/ juice, etc. and nothing but yes, I've heard and read that too - movement is consistent yet. I'm glad you were able to relieve some stress with the doppler!

Also, I'm sorry about insurance. I just got a huge bill from the visit with the perinatologist and anatomy scan and seriously I was shocked - but we have a really high deductible. I figured, surely by now it would have been met but nope, just looked it up and we still have about $600 to go before our copays turn to 20/80. Considering I don't have an income currently, that was pretty frustrating. So I'm with you there!

 

[Pineberry]

Huh definitely seems like a lot of us have the same 'problem' right now with their babes being very quiet! Well last night baby boy was pretty wiggly, felt like he was twisting and turning in there - and same thing when I woke up this morning. So hopefully this is the start of a more active period again

@co_fostermom $600? Ooof that completely sucks. I feel bad for complaining now; my co-payments are only a tiny fraction of that. My fetal echo cost me 174€ but the co-payment should only have been around 50€ (if my budget hadn't been maxed out already at the time). Now with my normal insurance, I co-pay about 10-15€ for each ultrasound / consultation. To think back on when I lived in Germany... there were never ever any co-payments at all. All surgeries, doctor's appointments, dentist etc. were always for 100% free (and it's not like you have to wait months for appointments - there were days I would walk into a gyn office without an appointment, and they'd still see me right then - maybe had to wait an hour or two). It's actually the only thing I miss living about living in Germany! I really really hope the US will have a complete reform of the health care system one day - it's just atrocious the way it is right now and I feel terrible for US citizens having to pay that much out of pocket all the time.


Can I also just give a shoutout to my sweet SO?! Last night when I made my dinner, I suddenly CRAVEEEED a cold coke zero, which is very unsual for me as I normally just drink water. Told my SO about the craving and he got up from the couch without hesitation, put his shoes on and said "I'll see what I can do" (without me asking him to) even though it was already past 9pm and most shops in our area were closed. Well he found a small shop that was still open and came back with 3 small cans of cokezero!

 

[Joannaxoxo]

Pineberry - My husband did the same last night, I had a stressful day at work yesterday so I went home and told DH "I can't drink alcohol, so I NEED icecream!" haha... he picked us up some after dinner lol.

Also, as we can't seem to choose a baby name, I asked the kids and my husband to all pick a name. So we have 4 finalist names (with a middle name picked)... and I actually love them all. We are going to tally our friends/family and which ever name is the most favourite will be his name. It's quite fun and everyone gets a peek at the name choices but won't know until he's born what his name will be.

 

[co_fostermom]

Joanna that sounds like that was a good plan for finding a name! It took DH and I about 18 weeks before we could settle on a name and then it just kind of hit me one day and I asked DH if he liked it and here we are with a name picked out! But we're not telling anyone because I don't want to hear opinions good or bad lol. People tend to keep negative opinions to themselves after a child is born and named but I know a lot of people who think it's their total and complete right to help parents-to-be they barely know pick a name they (as in the people, not the parents) prefer before the kiddo is born. People have definitely been disappointed that we're not sharing the name but they get over it pretty quick. I'd rather deal with that than hear opinions on our choice and then make me not so sure of myself. Lucky for me, both my brothers chose not to share the names before their kids were born, so at least my mom has gotten used to not knowing until after birth.

Pine - don't feel bad. If your bill was more than you were expecting than that's just as bad as my bill being more than I was expecting. I definitely agree about health reform in the US but all the stupid politics involved around it makes it darned near impossible to affect change in this country with a two party system (half the government seems to believe that only certain people should have a right to decent healthcare - I didn't vote for that half). Honestly, I wasn't expecting the bill to be that high, but I'm also used to paying loads of money for health care. It'll be better once we meet our deductible and I'm assuming the fetal echo in three weeks will cover that amount and then bills will be much, much smaller. I'm just hoping they'll work with us on payment plans.

 

[Flueky88]

Fern thank you for answering. It is amazing how things are viewed around the world. Personally, other than medical staff, DH is the only one I want in the room. With dd1 I didn't want him to see me below the waist during labor and delivery, but it happened. He said it's an image he will never forget but obviously we've continued having sex so it hasn't ruined it for him lol. With my 2nd I didn't really care. He did help hold one of my legs while I pushed so he got a view again. I totally respect whatever is best for the individual though

Yes YouTube has been used a bit more than I'd like as well. It's okay, there are much worse things in life.

Joanna glad you will be having a relaxing weekend. We will be busy. Our wall was finished Sunday and been lots of clean up. We are also supposed to look at some panels for a garage door, see if they are worth buying to replace the ones I backed into. Want to take girls to the zoo tomorrow morning as well.

We have first name picked but no middle name yet. I don't think parents like it much but it's our child. Then again it could just been they were distracted when telling.

Co I'm glad there hasn't been any more bleeding/spotting. I hope that when the time comes you can have more than one support person. I'm not very hopeful it'll be allowed in October/November though.

Yes, I'm so thankful I am in Makena copay assist program. They will pay up to $5000 for my shots and until I meet or exceed that amount I pay $80/month. My first 4 shots, my cost would have been $1300 and my deductible resets July 1st.

Cc beautiful scan pics. I'm glad you feel complete with your family. I'm feeling the same.

Pine sorry for the unexpected bill. My insurance deductible resets on July 1st so I am starting over again. Could be worse though. When I was pregnant with my 1st I was due July 6th and deductible to reset July 1st. I was so nervous she wouldn't come before July 1st. She apparently misread my fears and thought I said before June 1st since she was born May 31st.

From what I recall my OB office doesn't have you do kick counts until 28 weeks since movement isn't as regular or felt as easily until then.

So sweet he went to fulfill your craving!


AFM been busy with work and cleaning up after our wall was fixed. I shampooed the couch and recliner yesterday. We can't wait to have our downstairs back in order so we can chill for a bit before bed. Things are coming together nicely and hope to put our house on market in July. I hope it sells quickly and we can find one we like as well. I want to be moved before baby arrives. I can't even imagine trying to move with a newborn or have house viewings with a newborn. With my luck my 3rd will also hate car rides and cry the entire time or almost entire time like my others did. I just laugh when people say babies love car rides and it soothes them. It is true for many babies......just not mine.

Well happy weekend ladies and so exciting most of us are halfway or more to meeting our babies

 

[co_fostermom]

Flueky lol about car rides - my niece is 5 and she still allegedly screams bloody murder if she's in the car for more than 20 minutes. It makes it really hard for my brother and his family to take road trips, which is something they enjoy doing during the summer months. I hope your kiddos don't hate car rides for that long!

 

[Fern81]

Pineberry sorry to hear about your insurance woes! It’s incredible how expensive pregnancy can be. I always feel jealous when I hear how certain European countries have these great health care systems where you barely pay anything and taxes are put to good use!
Your husband seems so sweet
I’m glad to hear the news about only doing kick counts after 28 weeks. I don’t have a doppler and am only going to see my dr again at 25 weeks. It’s worrying when you don’t feel them for a few days, for sure!

Joanna you’re just as lucky to have a dh to satisfy your cravings
Yes after hard lockdown, everything opened up suddenly. We live very far from the coast but here are some nice parks, libraries and a lovely bike track just down the road from us. The track has different difficulty levels, some perfect for toddlers. He goes on his little balancing bike, too cute! Also, one perk of living here is that we have loads of game farms/parks close to us and can go on game drives. The city zoo is open but it’s in an unsafe part of town so I won’t go alone. Nice that you guys can go to the beach!
Names- this little one has had both his names picked out since 12 weeks! Husband wasn’t talking to me for a few weeks so I chose the names. He seems to be indifferent and hasn’t disagreed so I got my 2 lovely names. Good luck on choosing yours!

Anyone who feels like they want to share names on here, please do, I would love to see them! I’ll share mine via pm if anyone is interested.

Flueky seems like you are working very hard, wow! Good luck with moving house while pregnant, I can’t imagine it! Hopefully your third girl surprises you and likes car rides!

Co_foster I completely agree, people can be so judgemental about names! As if they have the right! Many of my cousins havent shared names until birth for that reason. I just announced both sons’ names to everyone when I announced the genders and screw the reactions. My brother mispronounced my ds1’s name for about 2 years on purpose, just to prove the point that there’s more than one way of pronouncing it. He called my ds 2’s name “interesting”. My kids, my choice. This happened to my sister too. She named one of her twin sons Jesse. When my dad heard it he laughed and said “oh so his full name is JESSICA” wtf.

I’m also very, very fed up with people thinking they have the right to comment on how large I am for 5 months pregnant. Like, would you comment on my size if I wasn’t obviously pregnant? EVERYONE. From my mom to my best friend to every second person when I go to the shops. I’ve actually cried about it because I’m so uncomfortable with my shape and size and I know I’m only going to get bigger. Weirdly, my husband has been nice about my size. Him and my dr are about the only 2 people who say I look normal. Oh well 4 more months and then I can slim down again, I have to keep reminding myself.

 

[co_fostermom]

Awww Fern I'm so sorry people have been commenting on your size and making you feel uncomfortable. I've only had one comment so far from someone and it was in the context of me telling her that I'm pregnant and her saying, "oh you're so small (aka your bump is small and you could just be fat lol) so I didn't want to assume." She didn't mean any harm and didn't have any way of knowing that I'm a little self-conscious about my smallish bump or that Bug measured small at his 20 week scan, so I didn't take it personally. But yes, I think it's fascinating how people feel the right to comment on your shape and size when you're pregnant, and touch you inappropriately, and comment on your name choices like it's their full human right but any other time it's totally socially unacceptable lol. I don't get why people think pregnant women are okay with it while they're pregnant. If anything I'm more self-conscious right now lol.

Jesse was actually a top 5 name for this little guy but after carrying him for a while I just really didn't feel like he was a Jesse. But that's totally a masculine name and it's even masculine (no feminine occurrences) in the Bible lol. People are so annoying sometimes.