★ October & November 2020 Hedgehogs ★

[Fern81]

Catmum- Bonnie is such a sunny, cheerful name, may she be a ray of light in your lives xx also- good job with having a healthy pregnancy lifestyle and losing weight like you’re supposed to according to your doctors. I’m impressed! I’m also officially on a “diet”/ different eating plan these days as I gained an enormous amount of weight from eating way too much. I’m hoping my weight gain will stabilize as I’m very ashamed of my body atm, uncomfortable and I know it’s going to be hard to lose it again after A is born

Joanna- is there any special meaning to Patrick/Jeremy for you guys to make the choice easier?

Co_foster as long as you’re getting your protein and taking prenatal vitamins.... Are you getting your iron levels tested? I also take 1000mg calcium, extra iron and omega 3 supplements because I’m concerned I don’t get enough of those from my diet (although as I’ve said I eat a lot and though most is healthy, a lot is/was specifically cake!) I asked dr to test my iron levels and will get them tested monthly from now on as I was anaemic during my previous pregnancy. I’m also counting my protein intake in grams to try and ensure I get 75g. Those steps help me feel more in control regarding baby’s nutrition. I doubt that it’s a problem if you don’t gain now as long as your dr says you are ok! Hugs!

I go back to work on Tuesday and dreading it...

 

[Catmumof4]

Thank you. I can't take a great deal of credit iv eaten nothing but junk food this week but weight stayed the same thank God.

I'm sorry your dreading going back to work, is your partner having your ds?

I'm feeling really sick today and down in general. I'm desperately trying to come off the cocodamol I take (for my fibromyalgia pain) to give Bonnie the best start. But iv been on them since 2009 and it's hard my partner keeps moaning I'm being grumpy but if tried explaining! Hope your all having a better day x

 

[JessdueJan]

Sending hugs to all who need it guys!

Loving all the name choices.

We are team yellow and finding agreeing on a name very difficult, hopefully by the time baby arrives we will have a few definites for each gender to pick from xx

 

[Fern81]

Catmum, wow good luck trying to wean off the pain tablets. It’s wonderful that you care so much! I hope you are feeling better today.

Jess hi! I can imagine picking names for 2 genders can be hard!

So our national high court just ruled that it’s unconstitutional and goes against our human rights to keep depriving little kids of an education and safe environment to spend their days while parents are at work (the Department of Social Development closed down all preschools, crèches, daycare etc in March and to this day hasn’t said a word about how/when they plan to reopen). Many kids and households are also dependent on school feeding schemes. So a court case was brought against the department and the judge ruled that these care centres & schools are allowed to reopen immediately. I’m so happy! My son’s school will be reopening next Monday. He really needs his friends and the stimulation. He won’t be sooo happy to go back on day 1 though! I know it’s controversial because our covid cases are still rising exponentially but the schools have very strict measures in place and I believe you can’t just deprive a child of education for the year(s) that covid will be with us, you have to cope with and work around the disease as much as possible.

I’m also going back to the classroom tomorrow after a week’s break and dreading it. As I’ve said before, my co-teacher quit at the end of May so I have double the work load on top of managing my own business in the afternoons. I’m teaching senior students including final years so it’s a lot of pressure, they can’t “catch up” next year! I can’t resign or complain about the extra work load because we desperately need the income. Our hours have also increased on top of everything obviously with no extra pay. It makes me hate my job atm because it’s too stressful...

 

[Catmumof4]

Thank you fern. I'm so sorry your job sucks at the moment, is there any chance the school will hire someone else?? I'm really jealous of all the nurseries opening where you are my daughter Isabella is 4 and insanely hyper and her nursery has refused to open even though all the other nurseries in the area are open!! She has got so clingy and jealous if I even speak to Evelyn my nearly 2 year old. I'm exhausted and just want to scream at the teachers that this pandemic isn't going anywhere any time soon if ever!!

Also I need a rant I'm so so angry. I'm in England and they have opened up the pubs etc but still won't allow partners to the scans!. Then I wake up to a post on Facebook from my local hospital partners can go to the 12 and 20 week scans but no others!!! Wtf?!?!?! My 28 week scan is coming up soon and my partner still hasn't heard the heartbeat or seen her yet!

Good news though he felt her kick last night and so did all my kids. Evelyn didn't like it lol!!

Hope everyone is safe and well xxx

 

[jellybeanxx]

Hello everyone! Sorry I haven’t been around much. It’s been a really rough few weeks, long story but mostly in laws making life difficult and apparently deciding now was the time to do that. I’m really worried about the effects of the stress on the baby which then just makes me stress more!
I’ve still been reading when I can but will have to have a proper catch up.

Cat I know what you mean about the scans! It’s frustrates me so much. I absolutely understand hospitals wanting to protect staff but surely partners from the same household aren’t actually more of a risk? I feel like we’re in that small group where partners missed the 12 and 20 week scans and now they’ll start opening it up again. It’s heartbreaking! We’ve booked a private scan for 24 weeks so my husband can see the baby.

 

[Pineberry]

Hi ladies! I also have been MIA recently, sorry. I’ve read all of the posts though! Jellybean was thinking about you recently and wondering how you were, good to hear all is well but sorry it’s been stressful with your in-laws. That sucks!

Sadly dont have the time for a proper catch up right now since we’re on the go, leaving for a 4-day roadtrip which I’m so excited for. Gonna see some caves and national parks up north in Portugal, as well as some cities that I’ve never visited before

Dont have much to update baby-wise, well he’s moving a lot and actually has been having some hiccups lol! Which is super cute! Have my 28 week scan next Wednesday so really looking forward to that.

I’ll catch up properly next time and will check back here on Sunday

 

[Joannaxoxo]

Hi All. It seems that we are all super busy at the moment. Hopefully enjoying our busy lives... and most of us are having summer, which means we seem to have a little less time. Sorry I haven't responded to any of the messages, but did read through the last week of posts.

It's been incredibly hot here for the past month, we are actually having heat warnings. So other then enjoying some beach time, we haven't been doing much but relaxing in the air conditioning.

Baby also seems to be doing well. He's moving around quite consistently, some days more than others. I have started noticing larger movements, like if he turns around and can feel more than just kicks, such as large bones that are pressed up against my stomach (can't tell which body part they might be just yet). I absolutely love this part of pregnancy.

However, still quite nervous about having my water break early... my first broke at 38 weeks which was fine but my second pregnancy I had my water break at 36 weeks. So I'm a tad bit nervous that it could happen even earlier this time. My doctor doesn't seem concerned, and I'll be seeing my OB doctor soon, so I'll bring up the concern with her. I've always wondered if this could be an issue with future pregnancies, so I guess we will find out... and hopefully it isn't.

 

[Catmumof4]

Jellybean I hope it's not too bad with the in laws seriously bad timing!!

Pineberry have a brilliant time!! I'm feeling loads of movement now As Well it's brilliant!

Joanna I'm jealous in a way this is baby number 6 and my waters have never gone on their own I'd love them too! Not before 36 weeks tho x

 

[jellybeanxx]

Pineberry that sounds amazing! Hope you have a wonderful time!

Joanna I love the movements part of pregnancy as well. Makes it seem so real! I can understand the anxiety about your waters going if you’ve had that early before, hopefully this baby will hang on longer!

Cat have you always had inductions/sections? I had my waters broken for me in my first pregnancy and the contractions that came after that were so intense!

My nesting instinct has kicked in and I’ve got the urge to clean everything which is needed after being able to do so little in the early weeks. Starting to get some pelvic pain though so trying not to over do it!

 

[Catmumof4]

No I eent naturally 1st, then I had 3 days of pre labour but went naturally, and 3 inductions for various reasons the last ending in emergency section... every one had to have my waters popped for me..

Don't overdo it with the pelvic pain xx

Iv got to go to the dau (maternity checking unit) not felt her move today, headaches for a few days and being sick after eating anything it's been really hard 24 hrs so just going to monitor her x

 

[Fern81]

Hi everyone, yes it does seem like everyone is very busy!

Catmum is everything OK? Please keep us updated x

Jellybean so sorry to hear about stress with the in-laws
RANT/VENT WARNING:

Spoiler

I’ve completely distanced myself from my in-laws esp mil as she actively encourages my husband to act up against me & to literally “leave me with nothing & take my kids away so THEY (....she...) can raise them”. She has said this in front of me! Which I have done nothing to deserve, the issue is her own son’s temper tantrums which she claims are “understandable” and that I deserve it. (Eg one night he came home drunk and started screaming, accusing me of having a sexual relationship with my zumba instructor when I cried about it in front of her the next day she told me that I deserve it due to maybe spending too much time at the gym; whatever!) She is an enabler who can see nothing wrong with her own childrens’ behaviour. No wonder 3 of her own 4 children are drug addicts and either missing or in jail. And then sometimes she calls me “my child” and pretends to be nice. I am so disgusted by her behavior these past few years that I’ve firmly set my boundaries now and refuse to see her.
My husband is up and down regarding his mood swings and treatment of me. Atm now that he has his job back (or a part of it), I’m happy with the way things are but don’t trust that it will last. I have my social workers, women’s helpline, lawyer etc on standby and the moment he threatens me/us again he is welcome to pack his bags, all my plans are firmly in place! I think he loves the control he has/had over me and if I don’t fall apart the next time he becomes abusive, he will totally be at a loss.
It’s sad how horribly in-laws can affect your life. My psychiatrist who knows him, has told me a lot of his behavior is due to his mom’s encouragement and the way there raised him. I love his good parts but he didn’t get it from his parents! I’m proud of how strong I’ve become and won’t put up with toxicity anymore!
He is going to visit them tomorrow without me. Luckily they live far away and I don’t have to see them often. I’ll have to figure out how to handle her after baby’s born because she will want to see him. Ironically covid is doing me a favor, I can tell her very fairly that she’s not allowed to hold him or visit for long due to me being worried about exposure. And she won’t be invited to my baby shower even though 4 years ago she helped host my first shower (fake and pretending!)

Anyway, long story short, rant over. Hope your situation gets better and that the stress will not cause a problem with your pregnancy xx

Pineberry I’m absolutely jealous of the holiday you’re having

Joanna it’s so nice that you have that quality time to spend with your kids at the beach, hope you are coping well with the heat wave!

My son is going back to school on Monday yay! I hope they manage to stay open all year! Learners/teachers have started to test positive in some schools in the area including my own but so far no schools have closed again.

Only 14 more weeks before mat leave... although I’m definitely going to self-isolate from 36 weeks, maybe earlier. I can work from home and teach online. Any of you planning on doing that, self-isolating before your due date?

 

[Fern81]

Oh and on baby movements- too cute... even though I still don’t feel him moving very often at least it’s a few times every day now. And for the past week or so, once I lie down with my son at night and start singing lullabies, baby starts moving around immediately, like clockwork

 

[jellybeanxx]

Cat I hope you’re okay? How did it go at day assessment?

Fern they all sound so difficult and toxic, I’m really glad to hear you’ve got all the plans in place to get out if you need to, take care of yourself lovely! It’s my brother in law that has been the issue mostly. My husband has basically told him to leave us alone now but his parents are making him feel guilty about it. It’s all a very long story but I wish we didn’t have to deal with any of it at the moment!

 

[Catmumof4]

Hi all well they put me on anti sickness tablets and pain killers and antibiotics in the hope to hydrate me and just in case it was an infection and sent me home but I'm seriously worried about Bonnie she has had a set routine since about 20 weeks and we nicknamed her the karate kid but since fri that's basically completely stopped! She has moved 4x today and barely at all yesterday. Thing is when I said fri iv not really felt her the midwife said oh at 26 weeks there's loads of room to hide. I felt like screaming at her love this is my 6th baby and I have fibromyalgia which makes me hyper sensitive I know what I'm talking about but then I just sound arrogant!! Anyways she only used the hand Doppler the other day which great she's ok in that 20 second window but it just isn't reassuring me that she is ok!!!! Sorry for the rant but I just want to know my baby is ok!!!!!

 

[jellybeanxx]

I can totally understand you not being happy with that Cat! I wouldn’t be either! Can you call maternity assessment again? I would just keep speaking to them until you’ve had reassurance. Don’t worry about sounding arrogant or anything like that!

 

[Catmumof4]

Hi I went up and somehow I was lucky enough to get my midwife! She really put my mind at ease. My hospital doesn't put on the ctg until 29weeks. Had my glucose tolerance bloods done (really weird without the fasting etc), my 28 weeks bloods done early and the ones to check my liver levels. Sent home and since leaving Bonnie is moving around lovely thank God. I was so scared!! Xx

 

[co_fostermom]

Hey all...just barely glanced over everyone's recent posts - been gone all week to visit family but also attend a memorial which was super hard. DH's stepmom died suddenly and she was much more of a MIL to me than his mom has ever been, in fact, his mom was a total awkward B*&#$ when we tried to show her the ultrasound pics and said "how nice for you guys" (the only thing she said about her grandchild or this pregnancy actually). I've met strangers who were more excited about my pregnancy than this woman. Anyway, sorry to rant, it just really hurt having to attend the funeral of the woman who was planning on coming to help once Bug was here in October and now I don't have that - just this awful woman who I'm unfortunately related to. It was really hard watching DH get hurt like that by his own mom too.

Catmum - I'm SO glad Bonnie is okay!

Pine - Yay vacations! I hope you did better than me on your road trip.

Fern - Yay for DS going back to school tomorrow. Opening schools is a huge controversy in the US right now, but it doesn't help that schools are getting 50% less per student in the fall, have to cut their staff by 50% and are now being openly threatened by the effing president that funding will be removed if they don't open. But I'm glad your government is much more sensible about it.

Also, haven't read your big post yet, but I plan to and will respond when I can.

Joanna - every pregnancy is different but I can totally understand the worry. My SIL's first was a few days early and she had a halo birth so her waters never broke and were never broken for her. Then her second baby came like 2 weeks late which apparently is unusual for second births? Not sure when her waters broke though. I hope that you'll make it to term with no issues.

AFM I'm glad to be home after this crazy whirlwind trip. It was nice seeing family, I got gifted basically an entire boy wardrobe for 0-9 months from my SIL which was a HUGE relief financially and it was nice having most family members be excited for us. BUT I am exhausted from the 24 hour drive (normally should be 18 hours but just took that long between a pregnant lady and a sick dog on the way out). Either way, it was pretty uncomfortable as I was stuck in the backseat most of the drive due to carpooling with a good friend who is 6'4" and absolutely could not spend any time in the back. And then we didn't have any stops except for a brief one to say hi to my mom on the way out, so no overnight hotels or sleeping.

I have my fetal echo tomorrow and am SO excited to see Bug again tomorrow.

 

[Catmumof4]

Hi co I was wondering how you was getting on I'm so sorry you lost your mil and got left with a dragon! Is there any reason she's being so snotty about the baby? Considering what you have gone through would expect her to be over the moon! I'm glad you get to see big again after an awful time!

Fern I'm so sorry I didn't reply to your long post I was wrapped up in my fear... your partner sounds so much like my ex and I pray you get out. Things might be fine atm but you know he will be a poo head again. Sounds like you are a very strong woman though and have things under control. Big hugs. So cute baby kicks when you read to your son too like he's joining in...

Hope your all well xxx

 

[jellybeanxx]

Co sorry for you loss, that must be so hard on you both especially at the moment! All the best with the scan!

Cat I’m glad you’ve had some reassurance now! Have they not started doing GTTs in your area again? They’ve just started doing them here but I opted for a week of self testing instead as I’ve had GD in all my pregnancies. I hate doing the GTT!