10 weeks pregnant after miscarrage - please help!!

[mummy.2.two]

Hi there,
I am currently 10 weeks pregnant after suffering a miscarrage in the 2nd trimester with a little boy in March.
Im just wonedering if anyone else has unfortunalty experienced this as I am having trouble getting excited about this new much wanted pregnancy.
I keep feeling that there isnt much point getting excited as it could all end as suddenly as it did before, also I have no symptoms except missed periods and feel myself looking for the worst to happen.
I look for bleeding every single time I go to the loo and worry if i get a backache or dont get up for the toilet in the night and am also worried as my brests are starting to stop hurting as last time these were the signs of the miscarrage starting according to my doctor.
Prior to this miscarrage I had 2 healty, full term little girls with no complications at all.
My baby boy was due next week and i have the scan for this baby the day before the due date, I really dont want to go for the scan incase its bad news - is all this normal.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated as all my Doctor said was "yes thats normal to feel this way"
Please has anyone else experienced this as i cant stop worrying.

 

[hb1]

I had a 1st tri loss - I think everything you're feeling is natural - the fear of re-living the worst time in your life.

I was still scared at every scan.

Remember - the odds really are on your side.

I am sure you will experience those moments of excitment and joy in between the moments of worry

hx

 

[Kazi1976]

Hi Yes its normal to feel how you do. I have my 12 week scan tomorrow and I'm dreading it convinced that something will go wrong. To be honest I'm pretty depressed as I've been very ill during the 1st tri and so worried about the baby. I took 10 months to conceive again after losing my angel at 15 weeks and I thought I'd be over the moon but instead I've been so anxious. I'm hoping I'll start to enjoy this pregnancy after tomorrow if all is okay. You're not alone

 

[mummy.2.two]

Thank you ladies for the replys they are really helpful.
I have a scan next week so i hope it will all be ok, think I will probably cry before i get in there though as the last scan i had was obviousally not a good one.
Kazi i wish you all the best for your scan tomorrow and wish for everything to go brilliantly for you and hb1 thank you!

 

[lori]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what it must have been like to get to 2nd trimester and have your baby taken away. I lost my first at 12 weeks and had a hard time with this pregnancy at first. It sounds terrible, but for the first bit I felt like I was pregnant with the wrong baby. I still dread ultrasounds. I had one just a few days ago at 37+4, and it brought back all kinds of feelings.

I don't know if this helps, but I found that although the due date of the baby I lost was really tough, things started to heal from there. Before the due date, I was always calculating, thinking I'd be __ number of weeks now, he'd be this big. After the due date, I'd think, I should have a one month old, but then reality kind of sinks in that I don't have a one month old. What I do have is this different, equally special baby. I've loved this baby all along, but I fell even deeper in love after I got past the old due date.

I understand the feeling of holding back so you don't get hurt again, but try to let yourself be excited. You can't live in fear. In first tri, I made a baby blanket and it was a healing experience. It made me feel more connected and kept me busy when I was overcome with anxiety. I told myself that even if we had our hearts broken again, at least I'd have something to hold onto and remember this baby by. Now I feel such joy every time I see that baby blanket in our nursery because I know I'm going to wrap my little boy up in it very soon. I don't know if crafting is your thing, but maybe something like this would help.

I wish you all the best with this pregnancy.

 

[mislaww]

mummy2, I haven't had a second trimester loss (fingers crossed) but I did have a first tri loss. When we got pregnant this time, we were more scared and stressed than excited. We approached our first ultrasound with absolute terror, both completely convinced it would be bad news. Until then, we had been calling it a "mass of cells" in a completely non-affectionate way.

We have only barely just begun getting excited as we got a great 12 week ultrasound result and finish up the first trimester. Now we're finally acknowledging it, apprehensively, as a baby to be. It took time.

Every one of us on this board check when we go to the loo obsessively. I know a lot of us poke our breasts and are happy when we have any symptoms, even the bad ones, because we're all so nervous and scared.

I'm certain this is normal. Good luck to you hon, and don't stress for a moment about whether it's normal or not. Take good care of yourself and take one day at a time.

 

[Clo]

*Hugs hun* I also had a 2nd Tri loss (at 23 weeks) and I am also terrified now that something will go wrong with this pregnancy. I've got my first scan next week and i'm dreading it as it was there that we found out that we had lost Frazer.

We just have to keep reminding ourselves that all we can do is think positive, hope for the best and accept that we are going to have lots of days where we are terrified...
We just have to keep telling ourselves this this is a different baby and a different pregnancy and there is no reason for things to go wrong again.

xxx

 

[Kazi1976]

Thanks Mummy2. I've just got back from my scan and everything was brilliant. I'm so happy and relieved. Hope everything goes well for all the other ladies with scans coming up. xxx

 

[MissMaternal]

It is completely normal hun Your story sounds similar to mine - i had a second tri loss, at 20 weeks, but mine was a little girl. She would also have been due next week....and I am currently 10 weeks like you are

I am so scared of going for my 12 week scan. I don't want to hear those words again ...."there's no heartbeat". I guess anyone who had had a loss will be anxious about future pregnancies. I really hope that your scan goes to plan when it comes, and that the rest of your pregnancy goes well too.
Your little boy would be proud of his mummy, are you doing anything special on his due date? Freya's is on Thursday and i don't know what i want to do yet. xx

 

[sierra19]

My first born was stillborn in March-I was 42 weeks and we had no idea until he was delivered.

Now that I am pregnant again, I can't say that I don't have any fears. What gets me through the day is living and sharing every moment that I can with my baby. But you are right, every little cramp, every time i go to the bathroom i think the worst! I just have to try harder to think that i am ok and what i am feeling is normal.

Have you spoke with your dr or midwife about this?? Often times with a high risk pregnancy (and that is what they consider a subsequent after a m/c or s/b), your health provider is sensitive to your needs-maybe talk with them. I call my midwife any time day or night with even the slightest thing and she understands that i just want some reassurance.

I try not to think about the what-ifs. I am sure, as with all of you , that you were the best mom you could have been to that little baby that didn't make it, and there is nothing more you could have done to prevent what happened. You have to be that same mom again-and try to reduce the amount of worrying-cause it makes your baby worry too. You already had to cross that ugly path once, and you have proved to yourself that you can do it and that you will get pregnant again...noting that life throws your way will be too much to handle(you have been through the worst and survived, give yourself some credit)-you can do it!

Now I am not sure how the program works and I would also look into services offered by your local hospitals, but the Missing Grace Foundation has some sort of program for subsequent pregnancies where they supply (not sure if it costs) home-fetal monitoring systems. You may find that something like this will ease some of your stress . Also it was recommended to me to see a Hypnotherapist who specifically deals with pregnancy and birth(its not like the stuff you see on tv-its just deep meditative thoughts) just to help deal with those emotions that get repressed when we go through a traumatic experience like loosing a baby-it may help to work through some feelings before they arise naturally. And if the hypnotherapist isn't your thing, try a regular counselor (one who specializes in loss-or specifically neonatal/infant loss) to maybe help work through your fears and what not

 

[PoolQueen33]

I'm 9 weeks and I miscarried 10 weeks ago at 7 weeks pregnant, I am the same I check for bleeding at every toilet visit and fear the worst at every twinge, but I know I have to realise that everything is ok and to stop worrying.
best of luck to you all

 

[momto4girls]

I am 10 weeks and a day (or two) and scared beyond belief. I had four babies before having a miscarriage. It was a 2nd trimester one as well, but just barely. My loss was at 14 1/2 weeks. I had no idea anything was even wrong. I went in to the doctor thinking everything was great, but it wasn't. I'm rapidly approaching that 14 week mark, and instead of dreading it, I'm trying to stay positive. This pregnancy is already loads different. For one, the baby is growing the way he/she should (last one the baby always measured small, at first by just a few days, but by 12 weeks, it was only measuring at 10 weeks). It gives me hope seeing my baby growing as he/she should right now. I don't think it will ever get any easier thinking "what if".

 

[Bunney]

Hi i lost in 11.1.10 I started to bleed very heavily at work and we went to the hospital but i had to wait for almost 2 weeks for a scan, when we went i was so nervous, the lady who did my scan for my first pregnancy was doing it and when she looked at me and said i am sooo sorry, i just felt so numb.
I am now 24week preg and struggling to get excited, i am due 14.1.2011 (a year and3 days after i mc) and i like you find myself checking for bleeding each time i go to the loo. x
When we went for our scans this time its been Joyce (as i now know her as) has done them all. Thankfully everything is fine.
I hope everything is healthy for you when you go for your scan.