11 miscarriages and pregnant again :S

[helenb]

i hope no-one minds me posting on here but i could really do with a rant. after miscarrying for the 11th time in may, my OH and i decided not to try again as i could not go through the pain of losing another baby. i already have a 12 year old son so decided to make the most of the child i have and ignore the urge i have to have another baby.

anyway, my period didn't turn up last week and i had a positive test this morning. i have been taking tests all week with them showing negative at first then the line being so faint it looked like a shadow. today the test came up more noticable although still faint and i am worrying like mad.

in the past i have had problems with hcg levels not rising and i think they must be rising now to get a positive result but to be 4 weeks 4 days i am thinking i should have a dark line on the test. i am under a specialist at the hospital and have no reason to keep losing my babies but don't know if i should allow myself to get my hopes up or accept the inevitable and think i am going to lose this baby too. i am so confused, especially as i do not think i can deal with another loss. any advice would be greatly appreciated, my OH does not want to discuss it with me as he already has in his mind its not worth getting excited or our hopes up x

 

[Whitbit22]

Wow honey that is a lot of losses, I am so sorry. Do your docs have any idea what the problem may be? (implantation, genetic, etc?)

 

[chiapso]

hi hun, didnt want to RnR, i think after 11 MC your numbing how you really feel about this, and you said you wanted to not try again yet you kept testing I have had only 1 loss so I can understand the urge and heartache that wanting a baby feels like and I can also see how you're not getting your hopes up but if you want a baby and can't not try then one day you might just find yourself at 40 weeks ready to pop!

I really hope this baby is sticky for you just relax! I'm parying for you and your LO

 

[helenb]

thanks ladies. i do feel utterly numb by it all. i kept testing as my period is never late and could not think of any other reason to be skipping my period.

whitbit, i have been tested for everything they can test me for and its all come back negative. the hospital are going to see me every week and scan me on a weekly basis until they think i am at a worry-free stage but i have to get there first. i am also being started on asprin to see if it helps so fingers crossed baby will stick this time x

 

[Whitbit22]

Fxd hun.. sticky vibes x

 

[1hopefull]

helen- i am so sorry to read about all your losses. i can't even imagine.

i am assuming your progesterone levels have been tested? have they ever talked about putting you on supplements anyway? there is not a lot of side effects.

do your losses happen around the same time?

it must be hard to deal with this when DH doesn't even want to consider a good outcome. we suffered one loss after infertility, and it took my DH forever to get positive... we are here if you need to talk.

hoping for the best outcome for this pregnancy and a health and happy 9 months for you.

 

[fides]

I am so sorry for all of your losses, and I wish you the best.

 

[zofranks]

Oh Helen - I feel for you, I have only had one mc (only been pregnant once) and I know the pain I felt at losing that was just awful so for you to have had all of those with no reason must be awful, I can't even imagine the pain & worry you must be feeling. I hope this one os good for you, I will be thinking of you. Take care xx

 

[Pippin]

So sorry for your losses. Hope this one sticks for you. Have you tried things like baby aspirin to see if that helps? Hope with everything I have this works out for you. Xxxx

 

[hulagirl]

I just wanted to say.
My best friend had 8 micarraiges all at different stages up till 24 weeks and no rwason for them. She is now 36 weeks pregnant at the age of 39.
So hang in there, good things do happen.
Fxd for you and l/o. Xx

 

[helenb]

just wanted to say thank you again girls. i usually miscarry between 4 and 7 weeks so keep thinking to myself if i can get through these next few weeks i might be ok. i go to bed every night thinking "wow i am still pregnant!"

i am very anxious and although i am trying to keep calm i am finding it very difficult to stay positive. the hospital can't scan me until i am 7 weeks and i have a scan booked on 9th september. i keep thinking if i can stay detatched until then and have the joy of seeing baby on the scan then i will be able to get excited and hope everything will be ok this time. i was so adament after losing my baby in may that i wasn't going to go through this again but i suppose if there is just a little bit of hope it can keep me going and sane.

my OH refuses to discuss anything at all about it, i want to talk about how we feel about it but he has said its tempting fate and its pointless discussing it as it will never happen for him. i feel like knocking him out in all honesty but i think thats my hormones! (i can't believe how moody and agressive i have become!)

i am also very worried about my hcg levels as all the pregnancy tests i have done are quite faint but when i mentioned this to the hospital, they explained that my consultant is away on holiday and they can't do anything until she gets back in september, i am to have my scan and go from there. with 8 of my miscarriages i had very low levels of hcg so i am worried sick. if they would check my levels i would have an idea of whats going to happen but i suppose i will just have to wait. hopefully this asprin will work and i will get my sticky bean this time.

thanks again girls x

 

[shinona]

I wish you all the best, Helen. You have had so much to deal with - I truly hope this is a sticky lo for you. Try as hard as you can to relax. ALso, if hubby won't talk then I reckon you'll always find someone on here to chat to.

xx

 

[Trying111]

Hi helen, please dont stress - i know easy to say.
But dont stress about husband, make it all about u and what is inside u for now. That is what i am doing

How low was ur hcg? I went to the doc last week first test and it was 72. I am worried thats so low. I will go again tomo to get another test done. I wish u all the best and pray 4 u.

 

[helenb]

Hi helen, please dont stress - i know easy to say.
But dont stress about husband, make it all about u and what is inside u for now. That is what i am doing

How low was ur hcg? I went to the doc last week first test and it was 72. I am worried thats so low. I will go again tomo to get another test done. I wish u all the best and pray 4 u.

i don't know how low my hcg is this time, i can just tell from colour of the line on the tests i have been doing. my doctor refuses to check my hcg unless something goes wrong - i am fuming. apparently i have to hold onto hope until my early scan and fingers crossed everything will be ok from there. previously, when i have had hcg levels checked, they have been as low as 49 at 5 weeks. maybe it is best i don't have them checked to keep me as calm as i can be x

 

[v2007]

and lots of sticky

V xxx

 

[bbforme]

Send you sticky vibes!! Good luck to you!!!

 

[jk78]

Very sorry to hear about all your loses. I have had two and that was bad enough. Have you had any testing done? A friend of a friend had 8 miscarriages and then found out that she had some type of bad antibody that kept pushing out the baby like it didn't belong there. She found out on the 9th that all she had to do was get put on an antibiotic and she carried full term. It is amazing what little things can change the outcome. I will pray for you and keep my fingers crossed that this one sticks. You sound like you really deserve it. Just think how much more exciting it will be when the time comes for the both of you. Lots of sticky vibes your way

 

[Diet_Coke]

fingers and toes crossed for you.

 

[Tesharika]

I'll pray for you hun...you know a woman my SIL babysits for had 12 miscarriages before she got a healthy baby boy...don't give up hope it CAN happen!!

 

[dimplesmagee]

Helen~I'm so sorry you have to go through this! I'm also sorry nothing has been found "wrong" so it can be fixed! That must be so frustrating! I pray this baby will be "the one!"