16-20 month gap -need reassurance

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by bluehorse, Jan 30, 2011.

  1. bluehorse

    bluehorse Mummy to Grace and Rowan

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    Hello ladies,

    It turns out that my instincts were correct and I am indeed pregnant with number 2... I want to be happy (and I think I am deep down) but I'm also so, so scared... I keep bursting into tears :cry:

    LO has just turned one so there will be a 20 month age gap between LO's and I am terrified that this is too small a gap :cry: She is so young to understand and I love her so much I cannot even envisage loving anyone as much as her... but I'm worried that she'll feel less loved somehow if there's another LO in the house. I'm also worried that other family members might love her a little less... or perhaps even that the new LO might be loved less by them. Sorry, rambling I know...

    I'm also terrified about how I'm going to be able to be a good mummy to her when the sickness starts... last time I was virtually bed bound, going down to below 7 stone before I even started to gain. I was vomiting every day up until she was born.:nope:

    Any positive stories of small age gaps between siblings would be really appreciated... How do you make it work with more than one LO? How can I ensure she knows I still love her more than the world? :cry: Crumbs... these hormones are a nightmare... shame I can't have a nice glass of red to calm my nerves :dohh:
     
  2. Jchihuahua

    Jchihuahua Mummy to 3

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    No advice but huge congrats! I hope to be your bump buddy soon!
     
  3. LoraLoo

    LoraLoo Pregnant with a Rainbow

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    Hi hun, dont worry about not having enough loveto go round! I used to cry myself to sleep when I was preg with no 2. because I felt sorry for my first child that she wouldn't have me all to herself :dohh: and that I wouldn't have enough love. But you do, you love each baby just as much as the other. You dont have to share your love, it grows with each baby :flower:

    Secondly, I dont have a small a gap as 16-20 months but my friend has 2 littlegirls, 16 months a part and I am rather jealous. They are so close,almost like twins, they always have one another for company, are into the same sort of toys as they are similar age, and will go through school together. Plus she used all her baby stuff for number 1 straight for number 2 as just as one was growing out of clothes/toys, the other was ready.

    Yes, it might be hards at times, but least you can get all the hard parts out and over in one go. Good Luck, it'll be lovely, dont worry :flower: xxxxx
     
  4. Baby France

    Baby France Me and my amazing babies!

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    There are 15.5 months between my two. I LOVE it! It was hard work to begin with and we did lots of things to prepare us as a family and Jacob for our new arrival to make the transistion as easy as possible for him.

    You WILL love your little one as much, I didn't think it was possible but when she smiles at me :cloud9:

    And she absolutely adores Jacob and vice versa. The first couple of months have been testing but thats more to do with the fact we've had a few bugs and we've all been ill.

    If you need any help advice about what we did to make it easier or just want a chat, pm me!

    Congratulations!!

    And its only natural to worry about being able to manage with two. Hell I was so worried about it during my pregancy etc... but now I wonder why I bothered to fret so much!
     
  5. Pink_Tinks

    Pink_Tinks Well-Known Member

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    i dont have advice, but just want to say stop worrying - im sure you ar a fantactic mummy and will be to two children.
    I would LOVE to be pregnant right now and have that age gap - think how close they will be in the future.
    I hope you dont get sickness hun... just wanted to wish u all the best!! xx
     
  6. charli87

    charli87 Chloes Mummy

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    I don't really have any advice but a huge congrats! I'm sure everything will be fine you will have enough love for both of them don't worry about that.
    :hugs:
     
  7. buttons1

    buttons1 Mummy to 2 gorgeous girls

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    I don't really have any advice but congratulations I am sure you will cope just fine and it is just the initial shock of expecting your second earlier than you ideally wanted to get over.
     
  8. Sam9kids

    Sam9kids Guest

    I have lots of small gaps, the shortest being 9 months!

    I love it and its amazing how easily they fit in! Congrats xxxx
     
  9. Lucy_lu_84

    Lucy_lu_84 Pregnant with #2

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    I have a 17month age gap and I paniced with how the hell I was going to manage with a toddler and a newborn. How would I handle the jealous? Would joshua feel pushed out? Would others pay him less attention or the new one. All the same things your thinking. Made worse because my Mum never asked about my pregnancy and kept telling me Joshua was going to hate it and be jealous!

    Well here I am two months down the line and some days are tough but i love it. Its hard work but fun, joshua loves his baby brother so much. Likes to get involved in helping me out, kisses him, cuddles him (my latest blog psot is about it actually)

    I got some stories about new babies, and he used to look under my top when asked where the baby was. He didnt understand but i wanted to keep telling him about a baby and we spent some time with my friend and her new baby to get him used to them.

    You will be fine, and if you ever want to chat or need some advice reasurance just PM me :)

    COngrats :D
     
  10. hayley x

    hayley x 1AngelSon,1EarthDaughter

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    Congrats on your pregnancy :) your love for your 2nd really does just happen, it doesnt make you love #1 any less! :hugs: x
     
  11. Tiredgirl

    Tiredgirl Mum of 2 under 2

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    First of all congratulations hun!!! I am sure you will be a fantastic mummy to both and love them just a much as each other. I am also pregnant with my 2nd so there will be an 11 month age gap, I am scared, I know it will be hard but am also so excited that LO will be able to grow up with a little brother/sister. I have so much love to give I can't wait.

    I think once it all sinks in you'll feel better. Do you have people around who can help look after little one if you are poorly?? xxx :flower:
     
  12. A3my

    A3my I am so lucky!

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    Congratulations! there are 15 months between my first two. I had all the same fears and worries as you, I cried over Emily's cot worrying about how I was going to give her enough love and attention and didnt tell anyone about the pregnancy for ages as it took me a long time to come to terms with it. BUT I wish I'd known how wonderful it would be. They are SO close, Emily loved having her little sister. The only thing I would say is be organised with all your changing bits - have them close to hand. My son is 8 months and DH doesnt want anymore and I am so sad he wont have a close sibling like my daughters did. I would love to do it all again xxxx
     
  13. bluehorse

    bluehorse Mummy to Grace and Rowan

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    :flower: Thank you so much ladies... you have made me feel much better... even though I've shed a few more tears :cry: It is very reassuring to know that others of you have felt the same and that it's not just me going mad!
     
  14. Bumpontherun

    Bumpontherun Well-Known Member

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    Hey:hugs: I think we are in about the same boat, I'm about 8 or 9 weeks I think (although we were trying for 5 months).

    Sometimes I think we're crazy but then I think about what great friends our babies will be and how close I am to my sister who's 17 months younger. At the moment I can't imagine lovning the new baby the way I love Helen but everybody tells me I will. I'm not thinking about it too much TBH just trying to really enjoy the time I have alone with Helen. As for the sickness it's difficult especially first thing in the morning and around her bath time when I'm at my worst but when you have a baby to think of it's amazing what you can endure. I'm sure you will be fine and in years to come you will be so happy with your two babies.
     

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