16 month old screaming at bedtime

[MrsC10]

Hi.

I'm at my wits end right now. Our 16 month old daughter has never been one for issues at bedtime. Lucky I know. Since we got back from my DH's parents, we've had nothing but bother. We have to stay with her to get her to sleep. If we leave the room it's the worst noise ever! Proper scream as if she's panicking. When you walk back in, she's standing up with her arms outstretched. The minute you walk in, the crying stops and she lies down.
We've alway just put her in her bed and walked out with no problems, but this has been going on now for about a week. Tonight we tried the walk in, walk out method and each time either myself or DH tried to leave the room, she would start screaming. We haven't even left the side of her cot when it starts.
I was in her room calming her down and she passed out, so I was still in the room when she fell asleep. Hardly ideal!

Anyone had anything similar or have any tips? I don't want to let her cry it out. I can't stand listening to her crying like that!

 

[SarahBear]

Most kids have sleep "problems" somewhere along the line. I wouldn't call it "hardly ideal." It's just the way it is and part of having kids. Both my kids have had their ups and downs with sleep.

 

[loeylo]

My DD is similarly aged and is going through the same thing. I agree, it is "hardly ideal" in fact I'd go further and say it is a total nightmare!

No advice, but hugs. We are co-sleeping on bad nights just now.

 

[MrsC10]

My DD is similarly aged and is going through the same thing. I agree, it is "hardly ideal" in fact I'd go further and say it is a total nightmare!

No advice, but hugs. We are co-sleeping on bad nights just now.

Thanks for the support. We're both just so exhausted by it that we're looking for a bit of comfort by knowing that others are or have gone through it.....your post is much appreciated x

 

[happynewmom1]

Most kids have sleep "problems" somewhere along the line. I wouldn't call it "hardly ideal." It's just the way it is and part of having kids. Both my kids have had their ups and downs with sleep.

Wss. You've been very lucky with your daughter thus far and it could be she is just going through a phase where she needs the comfort of you there.

All 3 of our kids have been terrible sleepers.. None of them sleeping through until after they were 1 (youngest not sleeping through yet). Even after they sleep through, the oldest have gone through phases of just needing me there. I know it cuts into the evening somewhat but it should be something that will pass. I'd say there are a lot of things in parenting that could be considered "hardly ideal" but is considered normal daily routine to a parent.

Having said that, you could try keeping up the walking out and in method and she might catch on eventually. How long did she take to go to sleep with you in there?

 

[MrsC10]

What I meant by 'hardly ideal' was that I was in the room when she fell asleep. I wasn't saying that the situation as a whole was 'hardly ideal'. I realise we've been lucky up until now and said so in my original post. All I've been looking for is a bit of friendly advice and support. Never mind.....

 

[lau86]

It's very hard isn't it! I find during the early baby stages you run on adrenaline a lot more but once they get older dealing with sleep deprivation is a lot harder.
My daughter has just finished a stage like this. She was absolutely fine if I was there which made me think it wasn't physical but she would have horrible nappies sometimes so I would give her calpol sometimes if I thought she was teething.
I think it was separation anxiety more with her and also she has had a huge leap with her language. I got fed up of sitting with her for ages only to creak the chair when I got up for the whole thing to start again, so I brought her in with us for a few nights. I also think she was a little bit cold one or two nights as generally we are taught to keep babies on the cool side aren't we

 

[happynewmom1]

What I meant by 'hardly ideal' was that I was in the room when she fell asleep. I wasn't saying that the situation as a whole was 'hardly ideal'. I realise we've been lucky up until now and said so in my original post. All I've been looking for is a bit of friendly advice and support. Never mind.....

I'm so sorry. I know I'm tired and my post came off the wrong way. I just re read it and I honestly didn't mean to do that. I've had to do the whole being in the room with the kids before and it isn't fun.. It did end up being little phases for them so I truly hope that's what it is for your lo. Would a nightlight maybe help her or some soothing sounds or music? Just ideas maybe. Again.. I'm sorry. :/ hang in there!

 

[sil]

My 3 year old and 17 month old both tend to go through this every few months and it almost always coincides with either a developmental leap or with a bad bout of separation anxiety. I don't have much advice as it just passed in time with us, but wanted to let you know you aren't alone

 

[SarahBear]

What I meant by 'hardly ideal' was that I was in the room when she fell asleep. I wasn't saying that the situation as a whole was 'hardly ideal'. I realise we've been lucky up until now and said so in my original post. All I've been looking for is a bit of friendly advice and support. Never mind.....

I understand. That's what I was referring to in my post as well.

 

[Ooballoo]

Is the room dark? If you have a nightlight could it be projecting a scary shadow somewhere? My LO was a very bad sleeper, she now has a firm routine of bedtime story, kisses, cuddles, 'good night baby, sleep well', unicorn night light and nureseru rhymes cd on. She did have an awful time of it getting to sleep at about 2 years, we'd just moved and to begin with she loved her room, then she started saying it was scary. We painted the room baby pink with sparkles, added her own chalk board, got her a princess bed with a princess canopy and voila she adores her room and still almost 2 years later she will still spend as much time as possible in there. Maybe give her a special teddy (maybe build a bear one she can make herself) with a recording of you, and then tell her that that teddy is scared and needs to be cuddled to sleep and as she is a very special girl the bear only wants to be cuddled by her? Good luck and hope it gets better soon. (Also wine in the fridge never fails to help the end of day mummy and daddy unwinding!)

 

[MrsC10]

Is the room dark? If you have a nightlight could it be projecting a scary shadow somewhere? My LO was a very bad sleeper, she now has a firm routine of bedtime story, kisses, cuddles, 'good night baby, sleep well', unicorn night light and nureseru rhymes cd on. She did have an awful time of it getting to sleep at about 2 years, we'd just moved and to begin with she loved her room, then she started saying it was scary. We painted the room baby pink with sparkles, added her own chalk board, got her a princess bed with a princess canopy and voila she adores her room and still almost 2 years later she will still spend as much time as possible in there. Maybe give her a special teddy (maybe build a bear one she can make herself) with a recording of you, and then tell her that that teddy is scared and needs to be cuddled to sleep and as she is a very special girl the bear only wants to be cuddled by her? Good luck and hope it gets better soon. (Also wine in the fridge never fails to help the end of day mummy and daddy unwinding!)

Thank you so much for your reply. She does have a night light. It's the same one she's always had in her room so I'm not sure if it could be that or not. I could try moving it or turning it off and see if that helps.
She's always had a bedtime routine as well from the day she was brought home from the hospital. The only thing that's changed as she's got older is the time of bedtime. It's always a story, upstairs for her bath, milk and then into her room (her dad puts her to bed most nights).
She's also got a little lion which she never seen parts with.
Wine sounds like an excellent plan though! Nothing wrong with a bit of fermented grapes to make any situation better

I'll try the night light. Hopefully that will help.....xxx

 

[JumpingIn]

My son does this 80% of nights. What you do is periodically go back in, say 'it's time to sleep now. We're here if you really need us' then leave. I've found putting him down earlier sometimes helps.

Your child isn't in grave distress, she's just figured out that it's more fun to be awake/with you and yelling at the top of her lungs gets you to come back in.

Imagine a 3-year-old doing this. It would sound like this: Mummy...mummy...muMmyyyuuuuu...I don't want to sleep. Let's play! Mummy!come back!

And so on. Kindest thing you can do is gently set the limit, I.E: Yes, I'll be here if there's a genuine problem, but no, I'm not going to hang around by your bed just because you're yelling.

Rule out thirst, hunger,pain, then make yourself a hot drink and put music on