17 and probably pregnant

[Skyyaxx]

Guys I took a test today and it came out positive.. I can’t believe this I feel so stupid and irresponsible. The Father isint in my life and my own mother I can’t talk to her or anything she will just blow up on me. Omg I can’t believe this. Anyone have any tips to make this any easier??

 

[lomelindi17]

I’m sorry you’re going through this unexpectedly hun, is there a close relative, grandmother, school nurse or counselor or another figure you can talk to to get some advice or help talking to your mom? She may be angry at first but try to stay calm and give her time to deal with this information. I don’t know your relationship but I’m sure she loves you and has your best interest at heart. Then you can both work out what to do and what your options are. You will be ok, no matter what happens, and you’ll get through it! Good luck xx

 

[HopefulPony]

Is there someone at school you can talk to? It must be so scary, sending love xxx

 

[DobbyForever]

Sending hugs. First of all, you are not stupid or irresponsible. Things happen.

Take a deep breath.

First, think about how far along you may be. Then, set an appointment with your doctor without your mom. If you’re doctor doesn’t agree, find a local clinic like planned parenthood to get checked out and talk things through.

Right now my only advice is take some time without outside influence to know what YOU want to do. Then you can start talking to others. I don’t advise discussing other people’s opinion on what you should do until you clearly know what you want to do or at least have some idea.

My only other piece of advice is that until you know what you plan to do, you treat your body and pregnancy well. Stay hydrated, eat well, light exercise, and get on a prenatal vitamin asap. You can get them over the counter at any grocery store or target. Avoid gummies if you can stomach the regular ones and eat them with food. They can be hard on an empty tummy

Everything will be ok. Just take it one step and one day at a time.

 

[Skyyaxx]

Hey guys so update I took ANOTHER test today and the two lines shot red so fast. So I’m definitely pregnant.. now how to tell my mom and dad…

 

[Bevziibubble]

I hope it goes well and they're supportive

 

[DobbyForever]

Ditto hope the conversation goes well. Do you have a friend you can bring for moral support?

 

[Starbuck88]

Hi, this sounds like it was a big shock for you. I’m sorry to hear you are so anxious about how to tell your parents and do not feel sure they will be supportive.

Do you know how far along you are? You can usually use the first day of your last period and count the weeks since then to get a good idea.

I recommend you tell your parents asap. You may find they are more supportive than you are expecting them to be, but either way you are likely to need their help to find antenatal care or to access abortion services, depending on what you decide to do.

I was a teen mum. It felt like the end of the world when I found out I was pregnant, but I didn’t feel abortion was something I personally could go through with. It worked out for me - I went back to school when my children started school. Now I have a PhD and teach at university and my children (14, 12 and 12) are very lovely, fun-loving, well-adjusted, compassionate, hard-working and ambitious people. If I could go back and change anything, I don’t think I would, except for maybe leaving their dad sooner than I did!

Of course, there are aspects of being a single and teenage parent that are very hard, especially if you don’t have a source of income, secure accommodation or support from family. There are many things that it’s a whole lot harder to do with a young child depending on you - for example, travelling, pursuing education, having good relationships, going out etc These kinds of things might have to be put on hold while your children are very young. But they are achievable with time and patience.

You are very young, so the plus side of having a child now is that when they are grown up you will still be very young and able to pursue anything any other person without children might. For example I’m 33 now and all of my children would have been off to university before I was 40 if I hadn’t have decided to have another child now.

What you should do now is a very personal question that will depend on your individual circumstances eg finances / home situation, your religious / spiritual / moral views about abortion. There is no right answer here - only what is right for you.

I’m sorry you’re in this stressful situation and having to make these hard decisions. I just want to reassure you that whatever you do, everything will be okay. This is not the end of the world or the end of your life! So many people have been exactly where you are now, and we lived to tell the tale!

Good luck with telling your parents. Do let us know how you get on x

 

[Skyyaxx]

So updste: I have a secure job btw is anyone was wondering. My mom is getting suspicious so she’s making me take a rest in front of her tomorrow but we compromised on she will see it after I leave for work and imma stay at a friends place. She sounded supportive today when I talked to her but I’m scared shitless none the less!! I feel stretching in my lower right stomach region like right before my hips is that normal?? I read alot about miscarriage in the first few weeks I’m on week 6, what’s the likelihood of me
Miscarrying, because I’m planning on keeping it . I’m honestly worried about all these ectopic and miscarriage things I see online!!

 

[lomelindi17]

Sounds like round ligament pain, perfectly normal. It you get more severe pains or pain in your shoulder blades those are some of the signs of ectopic. Don’t worry yourself though. I’m glad you’re telling your mom. You’re going to need a great support system going forward.

 

[DobbyForever]

Agreed. It sounds normal. Even though it’s early days, your body is rapidly changing and preparing. Unfortunately, miscarriage, in most cases, is determined at conception with factors beyond anybody’s control. Best thing to do is take it day by day. Today, everything is going well and you love your baby today.

I’m glad that your mom is being supportive. I’m going to let you in on a mom secret: she knows. She just wants you to say it. And the fact that she’s not gone off the deep end is really positive. I’m glad you’re going to do the test tomorrow. I wasn’t a young mom, but my parents never approved of any of my pregnancies. Telling early did mean that by the time my first prenatal came around, we had sorted through all the shock and awe. I’m glad that you have somewhere to go if you need space before seeing your parents.

You’ve got this.

 

[lomelindi17]

Hi sweetie @Skyyaxx I just saw your profile blurb, are you ok? I hope your mom will calm down and not kick you out.

 

[DobbyForever]

Agreed. Take a deep breath.

Parents do calm down. My mom cursed me out, my whole family cursed me out, every pregnancy. Kicked me out, ghosted me. But guess who never missed one of prenatals? Or asked why she wasn’t invited to the ones I didn’t ask her to go to? My mom. My son has so many people who love him and treat him like the world, but I still get comments about how I effectively had other options.

Flip side, some parents never come around. I have friends who got kicked out for being pregnant at your age. It’s hard, but you can do this. My color guard instructor in high school got pregnant at 17 and was kicked out. Her family completely disowned her. She managed to get her degree and had two jobs, her day job and then the coaching job. She just bought a new construction house that she got to design her way in an up and coming area in Cali, her son just got his college degree and just got engaged, and she has another daughter now (though she’s not with the father) who she just took to see her first live musical. She hustles hard and she will tell everyone to really think hard before choosing that life, but she doesn’t regret it for one moment.

Take some time to cry and feel your feelings. When you’re ready, come up with a plan. You already have a job, which is huge! Start looking into resources in your area for pregnant women. Start thinking about where you can afford to live. And yes living at home takes a lot of stress off. But honestly you’re 17. You’re almost legally an adult. I’m going to tough love you a bit, you’re basically an adult and making a very adult decision to become a mother. You have to start seeing yourself as a responsible adult not a dependent child. Your parents are grandparents. They shouldn’t be asked to take on parenting you and your child. So I vote seize this opportunity to start building your independence. It will be ok. Keep your chin up so your crown doesn’t fall.

 

[lomelindi17]

@DobbyForever so well said, I agree. Everything seems really hard when you’re looking at it all at once so just take it day by day and try to make the best choices you can each day. But yes, if you decide to become a mother, your childhood time is over and it’s time to buckle down, at least until you get a solid foundation under your feet. A little person will be depending on you soon. We’re here if you need support or advice!!

 

[Skyyaxx]

Hey so update: I’ve found a housing situation for new teen moms I’ve called and am visiting soon, I will go their when I start showing and until I have my own apartment a few months after baby is born. I’ve also scheduled a physical for tmr.. ngl that’s terrifying to me as silly as that sounds :/

sinon, Ive also sent in urine to a on to be tested so I can get a consult with a regular doctor, what are the chances that after my three positive tests it comes out negative??

for anyone who has had physicals for pregnancy how did it go?? This is my first physical like ever ever so I’m like super terrified but yea any tips to make it go smoother ig?? Also thank you sm sm for all the help it’s super reassuring knowing other people have gone through this and made it through!!

 

[DobbyForever]

Look at you getting s* done! You go, momma! Hope things go well with the viewing.

Home pregnancy tests are incredibly accurate. Given that you haven’t any signs of a loss, its highly unlikely you’d get a negative.

If you are 6 weeks old, usually obs won’t even see you. You have a telephone consult. They ask a bunch of questions about your medical history in order to determine if you need any additional screening and get you registered for your first prenatal. For example, I had to be referred to a geneticist because my son has special needs or certain things like sickle cell are more prevalent in certain ethnicities. Depending on where you live, that can be at 7-10w (United States) or like 10-12w other places. That’s the meaty appointment. They’ll go over your history again, explain your overall care, sign some paperwork, sign up for prenatal testing, and get your first ultrasound. My guess is tomorrow they’ll confirm your pregnancy with a urine test then go over health history, your do’s and do not’s of pregnancy, and then get you booked for a prenatal. It’s very unlikely they will do a beta hcg test or a scan unless they are concerned about something.

 

[lomelindi17]

Great job girl! I hope the viewing goes well, and don’t be nervous about your Dr appt it will be fine! You got this! Xx

 

[Bevziibubble]

Good luck for your appointment. You're doing amazing

 

[Nima]

You sound like you're really active and already taking good care of yourself and your baby! So good! Congratulations! I hope you mom will change her mind, but even if she doesn't, you will be OK.

BTW I'm due April 7th so we'll have our babies almost at the same time

 

[Skyyaxx]

Yaal I’m kinda worried I did another pregnancy test this morning to make sure it’s still alive ig idk. But the line was much more faint that the Other times, like it was visible but very faint. Is that ok?? Is it dead. Did I do something???? Like I was able to see a line but it was very faint. I did it with the first urine of the morning as well…