> My birth story: Baby Nia born 19:58 31/07/2013* 8lb 6oz
>
> After having early labour contractions since Monday morning, and no sleep due to pain, (you cannot sleep when getting them every 10 minutes despite what my OH was trying to suggest!) at 2am on Wednesday 31/07 I went to L&D to be examined to see how I was doing despite the contractions only being every 7 minutes (I told them 5 as my sister** said I just need to know how im doing as it had been so long since contractions strarted plus i'd had no sleep and I needed to rest if body not ready yet, and the mw's might give me something for the pain). I was examined - I was 4cm!! I was so excited and proud of myself as had visions of them telling me I hadn't started dilating yet! I was admitted and had the pool room-brilliant
pains still coming but bearable-I was
> motivated and ready for this! I unpacked a bit, plugged in my red lamp which I find relaxing and chatted to mw who was form filling whilst oh ordered pizza for us all! Moving along an hour or two-pain increases, canula put in as I needed iv antibiotics for strep b (mw was from a different unit and not experienced in doing this so had to be observed-and did it wrong!) My other hand then poked and canula put in-needle so big! But I soon got over that pain as my contractions got stronger. I felt most comfortable standing at the end of the bed leaning over onto my hands and swaying my hips whilst oh rubbed in opposite direction as if against me with my Palmers tummy butter. I tried gas and air but it made me feel like I'd had too much to drink-you know that feeling when you're lying in bed and the**** room spins-well I didn't like it and I thought 'bugger, what do I use now?!'
> However after mw explaining to take a longer more shallow breath and to stop when contraction stopped I found that much better...and quickly the g&a became my best friend! My voice went deep and husky for a few seconds after each intake which I was finding hilarious! My life story soon followed, pizza munching, I loved it! I remained in same position with oh rubbing back firmly. However if you miss the beginning of a contraction starting by taking g&a a second too late it doesn't work-I learnt that the hard way as the contractions were only getting stronger! But on g&a-no pain!! Shift change over at 8am-I had taken too much g&a somehow-I must've stopped having a break between contractions as I was talking utter jinberish-the white apron on the door was a wedding vale, and everything was hilarious! Student mw and mw who took over met me absolutely
> in hysterics! My mind was zoning in and out-very bizarre feeling-I remember hearing mw saying 'I think this one's had too much gas and air!'. I realised where I was, and what was happening, and started to panic saying I wanted to feel normal again (and in control). I got into the pool and had a break from the g&a which didn't bode well for the pain, plus it was my security blanket! I didn't get on well with the pool-after an hour of not really knowing what to do with myself in there and still feeling doolally I got out saying I wanted to continue swaying as I was. I was re-united with reality and once again had my g&a back which I was careful to let go of after a contraction (I had to be reminded a couple of times!) Around midday I was examined by student mw-I was 9cm dilated! I cried with happiness! I'm sure the mw's eyes watered too-they probably didn't-but it was such an emotional and proud moment-I was doing it! I got back to work..forgetting to eat but it wasn't really on my mind. Around 2pm I was examined again after being asked if I felt any pressure-to which I felt none I was aware of. The student mw tried to break my waters at my consent but was struggling so the mw then tried..she looked crestfallen and shook her head 'you're not 9cm, you're 5cm'...I felt as if I'd been told the worst news, like a nightmare, I howled and howled asking how could I only be 1cm ahead from 12 hours ago, and that I'd been standing/active for all that time-I was absolutely exhausted and cried my heart out-they all were trying to console me and telling me to keep calm-the pain had increased a lot by then too and the g&a was no longer working too well-through my tears I asked for an epidural which they agreed to and within what seemed seemed like minutes I was sitting with a needle being placed in my back. The news was still overwhelming. And the pain. The epidural didn't work-after 90 minutes waiting to see if it did, the anaesthetist came back and asked me if I could move my legs, I shouted 'yes!' and swung one high in the air to prove it! Another epidural administered-I was scared it wasn't going to work-g&a useless now, pain unbearable, but after 40 minutes it started to subside and gradually...no pain. I was starving and it added to my total dismay and exhaustion that I wasn't allowed to eat! I wished id scoffed more pizza earlier. I also worried how id carry on and push out a baby with zero energy. At around 7pm id been feeling a fullness in my vagina for about 30 minutes-I told the mw who examined me and she told me she could feel the head! It was pushing time-how bizarre to push with no sensation or need to push! I was helped a bit to move to the end of the bed where foot supports (not stirrups) were put up for me to push against, I was pleading for a Caeserean as just could not see how I could push a baby out-I was beyond exhausted and also fearful id grown a big baby and it wasn't going to be straightforward. I had a temperature too, maybe due to the exhaustion. The student mw felt the top of my bump for a contraction and then told me to push into my bottom with each contraction which I did-it felt so weird pushing without the need to, I was getting lots of encouragement and after each contraction I was told how they could see more and more of baby's head. After about 20 minutes of pushing and I honestly felt I could do no more, the obstetrician came in who I later learnt had also been asked to check baby's hb earlier (but she was not concerned) with a ventouse and other bits - I was so relieved and as she tried to explain what she was going to do I just nodded and said ' just please help me get my baby out! ' She was so lovely and sat right in the firing line whilst telling me to push - legs in stirrups. I again later learnt from oh that there was a bit of a panic in the air at this point and mention of the baby having a big head - my oh also had a big head as a baby! I heard her explain with the next push she was going to make a cut - I knew exactly what this was and I really hoped I wouldn't need one prior to labour but at this point I honestly didn't care if they needed to cut me in half! It felt like scissors cutting through thick material - no pain if that makes sense. Oh said there was a lot of blood. With the next push or two my baby's head was out! Again a strange sensation with an epidural - like being stretched and something hard wriggling! I was asked if I wanted to touch the head a push prior to this which I did, briefly! Nia also cried when her head was born-a strange sight according to my oh! With the next push Nia was out! We didn't know the sex, but I was convinced I was having a boy! My oh wanted to tell me and cut the cord which he did-I was so shocked she was a little girl! A beautiful, perfect little girl! We had skin to skin cuddles whilst I was stitched up and skin to skin cuddles with Daddy. He then was helped to put a put a nappy on her and her new baby grow
After a couple of hours (seemed a lot less) we were wheeled to the ward. It was quiet-only ones there til another lady arrived a bit later. I was ready to sleep! I was feeding Nia and I was aware of a pressure pain in my bottom-down there seemed so numb and weird it was hard to distinguish, very quickly the pain was increasing and I was able to locate it with my
finger-it was literally half way inside my right bum cheek. I rang the buzzer and the mw-who seemed a little aloof, said I will start to feel the pain as the epidural was wearing off-her words were 'well, you have just had a baby'. She gave me some paracetamol. The pain was becoming intense and I started to panic-I rang the buzzer again-orimorph given. Pain now getting unbearable-I mean awful-worse than labour-I was terrified-I rang the buzzer again and two mw's were telling me to calm down-alongside my oh! No one understood! A Doctor then arrived who examined me and said she couldn't feel anything untoward, this only heightened my fears-I knew something was wrong. More orimorph. This is all within an hour. After another 20 minutes I couldn't move-I felt something was restricting me-I was given ice to put down there and I explained to the aloof mw that
nothing was helping and I felt like I was loosing my mind-I was breathing loudly and quickly and my voice was completely panic filled-the lady in the next cubical must've thought I was crazy! The aloof mw had a look between my butt cheeks where I pointed to the pain and said she still couldn't see anything...and maybe I should think about feeding my baby instead!! She said it in a real sarcastic way-I felt terrible-a new mum but I just couldn't think about my newborn, let alone have this time to enjoy her. My oh was getting frustrated with me and Nia was crying. The mw gave me a soapy tissue-I asked her what it was for-I just wasn't with it, she told me sarcastically it was to wash my hands where I'd just pointed to my pain. I fed Nia-bearing in mind bfing is totally new to me-I didn't know what I was doing nor could I concentrate. Poor Nia. I gave her back to an annoyed oh. More orimorph. I wanted to swipe the contents of the items on the table onto the floor-not in anger-just because I literally felt I was going mad. A young male Doctor suddenly emerged at my bedside-I clung to his arms with both my hands and begged him to help me, 'something is wrong!!' I shouted. He looked concerned and said he'd need to examine me both rectally and vaginally-on examination he quickly located the pain internally both front and back and I knew then he was an angel! I was going to be ok! He told me I had a haematoma and I could either wait for it to drain naturally or go to theatre and have it drained under GA. I immediately pleaded for theatre. But because id had the tiniest bite of a sandwich I had to wait 4 hours or I could aspirate! I personally was not fussed about aspirating at this point as you can imagine! Longest 4 hours of my life. More orimorph. Prepped for theatre and taken down at 5am-I couldn't move at this point so they had to use a sliding sheet to tranfer me onto the operating table. The mask was put on and I closed my eyes-willing them to hurry and put me to sleep, to end this agony, they asked me to open my eyes as needed to see me 'fall to sleep'-I do laugh now at me closing my eyes eagerly waiting to sleep! Obviously my exhaustion was something else-my poor body. Post surgery I was woken-pain gone!****** Thank you God! And thank you Doctor! He performed the operation too and I told him he had saved me! Anyway, he had already explained to my oh what he found and so explained to me-although it was hard to take on board due to GA. My eyes felt extremely puffy too. He told me they found a massive haematoma the size of a melon in my vaginal cavity and 2 litres of blood was drained which left me needing a 2 unit blood transfusion and plasma. My blood pressure also dropped critically low and they called code red as I nearly had a cardiac arrest. He'd told my oh it was 'touch and go'. The seriousness of it didn't sink in til days later due to me being so out of it. To make this long story a little shorter-I spent the next 2 days hooked up to various iv's-some antibiotics, I was in a side room and obviously had to continue my role as a new mummy-but I was able to hold her now and admire her! I still didn't sleep as I was either feeding or having to be monitored every 15 minutes-5 nights now of zero sleep alongside a baby,* GA and numerous amounts of orimorph still being needed. I was visited by all the team who had delivered Nia including the mw's and obstetrician-she was so nice but it wasn't her fault, the bleed could have been from unseen trauma caused within the vaginal canal. I was also 'packed'...so cloth
material 'stuffed' inside me plus catheterised, so bed bound for 24 hours. The packing was uncomfortable and I couldn't really move so having sheets changed wasn't fun! And as for sitting up to feed Nia, so difficult as trying to learn how to bf too. Plus I was literally zoning in and out due to tiredness and GA. The next morning the pack was removed-oh my-so much cloth! It just kept coming! The first walk to the shower room was hard-I felt so heavy and numb down there. The first wee felt like it was never going to happen-I couldn't bear down and dreaded the thought of needing to do a poo! I stayed in hospital that night and went home the next day. Seeing my road and house seemed so bizarre-like it had been another lifetime when I was last there. The next few days were hard-I still felt strangely exhausted-the room span-
the home visit mw who was amazing
told me it was the GA. After a couple of nights of continued poor sleep due to nursing, I eventually got some sleep with oh helping me with night feeds-he did the 12-6am shift with my expressed milk. I'm proud of myself for managing to bfeed Nia despite all that I'd gone through-and my body allowing it! I experienced very little pain down there-just a heavy feeling. My worst symptom was just feeling SO spaced out. Btw-my oh felt terrible for not believing something was wrong when I had the haematoma! So he should! The Angel Doctor also told me I have a strong case for a Caeserean next time-pah, what next time?! Now 3 weeks on, Nia is just beautiful, feeding well the little fatty and im feeling myself again
Motherhood so far has been tough, some days easier than others, but I cherish every moment with my family
and im looking forward so much to watching my little girl grow and blossom xxx Oh and my haematoma was very rare-1:5,000 and the Angel Doctor said due to this lots of Doctor's and midwives are unaware of it, but I think it's important women are aware of what it is so they can tell Doctor's to check for a haematoma and not be left for hours in pain and not knowing why. The mw's made me feel as if I was being a drama queen yet my oh was told if it had been left much longer I would have died. I was given my notes to take home but only had 10 days with them before they were taken-same for everyone, but I was unable to read them due to being that tired despite really wanting to-sounds crazy I know. I can read them if I go along to have a 'reflection' with a mw at the hospital which I may do
it's also my 30th birthday on sat! People keep saying how the baby will arrive then, I don't mind sharing my birthday at all. 
