2 years and counting -- LTTTC

[Moondance]

https://im3.ponyisland.net/gallery/66663/393618.jpg​

Hi all, I just wanted to see if I could start a new group for some of us LTTTC ladies.

I'm Moondance and on January 3rd, I'll be starting my third year of TTC. I'm 30 years old, with a partner who is 52. And whilst he's had his wrigglies tested and the result came back as average, nothing is happening.
Part of this I think is because my cycles are just completely out of whack and have gone mad. So its hard to pinpoint my ovulation time.
But even the bunch of times we have managed to hit the nail on the head, nothing is happening.

So we're off to see the wizard.

I initially started out on here in a thread with some girls where we formed the TTHF group, which later became the Wishing, Wanting, Waiting TTC for a year plus group.... and now most of the girls from that group have had their BFP's, have had their babies and moved on mostly.
So its time for a new group.

I would like this group to be a place where we can share our hopes, our thoughts, our fears, our ups and downs, talk about our doctors, give ideas, suggestions, encouragement and just lift each other up in our journeys.


So I hope there are some ladies here who will join me.
If you want, come and introduce yourself and join in!

 

[Moondance]

About me:

Name: Natalie (but I like being called Moondance)
Partner: Baz
Time Spent TTC: Starting year 3 in January
Job: Student/Starting out Photographer
Likes: Animals, reading, writing, photography, movies,
Dislikes: Snobs, Hypocrites, jerks
Furbabies: 1 horse (Reggie), 2 dogs (Angel and Emmy), 2 cats (GT and Chia), 7 birds (6 pigeons and 1 Bourkes Parrot), approximately 20 rats (I'm a rat breeder).


My partner and I already have our future baby names chosen, how pathetic are we? lol

 

[Feb4th2011]

Hi!!!!!! :wave: I can't believe nobody has replied to your thread yet!!

Name: Sandra (28)(just go with Feb... I wish i could have come up with something better than my wedding date lol.)
Partner: Greg(30)
Time Spent TTC: 15 months
Job: Respite worker in a care home for men with mental health issues
Likes: Dogs, movies, shopping, traveling, hockey (watching), making cards etc.
Furbabies: 2 Dogs- Both labs, Georgia is 5 and Memphis is 3

-I was diagnosed with PCOS 07/26/11
-Started Metformin August 12th
The metformin was ok.... until I got to 1250mg It was all down hill from there, it made me so ill. I felt like I had the flu all the time. I stopped taking it in novemeber. Until just recently... I'm gonna ween myself up to 1000mg and see how that goes!
-Dec 7th I was given the go ahead to start 50mg of Clomid for my next cycle.
- I'm currently on Day CD4 and just took my second dose of Clomid ( taking it CD 3-7)
- I have an HSG scheduled for next Wednesday FX!
- My DH has his SA tomorrow FX!

We have first names picked out Your not pathetic lol or are we?

 

[Moondance]

I would just like to think that we have names picked out because we want to come prepared. LOL

 

[phoenixrose]

Hey, I've been looking for a group like this. I used to come in this section more often but I get overwhelmed by all the threads in here that have over 500 responses, and most of them don't apply to me.

Name: Victoria, but I like to be called Tory (29)
Partner: Hector (31)
Time Spent TTC: Over 2 years, since November 2009
Job: Pediatric Occupational Therapist. And researcher of everything pregnancy related by night...j/k, but feels like it sometimes
Likes: Animals, hanging with friends, movies, shopping (but no money for that anymore), crafts, photoshop
Dislikes: I agree with moondance...hypocrites, and snobs. And also, really, really stubborn people.
Furbabies: 3 cats. And a foster dog (my BILs dog...came with him for his wedding and 2 week vacation and hasn't gone back yet.

A little about my past 2 years...and lets see if I can do the condensed version, 2 years is a long time...

We started trying after I graduated from my master's and was at least about to start bringing in an income. We still lived with his parents since our wedding almost 2 years prior. Lovely people so I don't mind. That was November 2009. Then in May 2010, since I come from fertile mertiles, I found a FS and they did bloods, an SA, and an HSG. Everything looked fine, so doc says try for 6 more months. We came back at the end November, and doc gave us 2 choices, start clomid and IUI or do a lap and dye. Since I wanted to make sure there was nothing weird going on and the insurance would cover a diagnostic surgery and not fertility treatments, we opted for the surgery. In December with the lap, they found mild endometriosis and unkinked one tube that had a small adhesion. Doc said clearing endo can increase fertility so try for 6 more months and if not pg then come back and we'll start clomid. When it came time for that, based on things that FS said during past appointments and how I felt like a number and not a person at the larger office of that FS, I decided he was an idiot and looked for another FS.

My MIL found another FS through a friend and he came highly recommended through multiple success stories. So I started seeing him back in September 2011 (we had to wait 2 months for the first appointment). Best decision so far! Even though all my bloods are fine his theory on the first visit was that I had PCOS. What a shock, because I have no symptoms: I'm thin, all bloods/hormones are fine, no excess hair, etc. He also tested my testosterone as the other FS had not. So 2nd visit, the testosterone came back fine so no PCOS but the ultrasound revealed that I do actually have polycystic ovaries. I have way too many follicles that try to mature each month and they interfere with egg development of the lead mature follicles. So that was the reason I have irregular cycles (27-33 days, although usually on the later end) and ovulate later then I should (normally around cd 18-20; other FS said both of these were normal (idiot!), this doc said it's anything but normal and points to a problem with egg maturity).

So my FS started me on clomid to help with egg maturity. I'm currently on round 3 and in the 2ww at 7 dpo. I go today for my second hcg shot to keep the corpus luteum going strong and hopefully I get a bfp next week. But hostestly, I'm kinda lacking in the hope department lately. I guess the new FS and the starting of clomid gave me so much hope, but after the 2nd bfn on clomid, I've been having a hell of a time, as all the hope has drained from me. If I get another bfn this month, then it's onto injectables next month for 3 more months. Honestly, sometimes I just feel like I'm going through the motions.

So, at the moment, I'm just trying to eat as healthy as possible, I haven't had caffeine or alcohol (except new years) in 5 months, and I take so many pills that I think I'm going to start rattling when I walk.

I have to admit I think of baby names when I hear good ones but we don't have any picked out. Maybe that would be good idea for some help in the positive mental attitude department. But whenever DH and I talk randomly about names we never agree

 

[phoenixrose]

Sorry, just realized I wrote a novel...more about me...I'm notorious for taking 3x's longer to say something then other people

 

[Moondance]

I have way too many follicles that try to mature each month and they interfere with egg development of the lead mature follicles. So that was the reason I have irregular cycles (27-33 days, although usually on the later end) and ovulate later then I should (normally around cd 18-20; other FS said both of these were normal (idiot!), this doc said it's anything but normal and points to a problem with egg maturity).


I have to admit I think of baby names when I hear good ones but we don't have any picked out. Maybe that would be good idea for some help in the positive mental attitude department. But whenever DH and I talk randomly about names we never agree

Years ago, I had a doctor try to say I have PCOS, because I'm larger, have weight, used to get hair issues (but um, scuse me doc, I've always had the hair issues, I come from a hairy family, my mother is by heritage, European and always had hair herself in randomly odd places and she had no problem having 4 kids, I don't think hair is always hormonally related, sometimes its just shoddy hairy genetics )
My ultrasound came back saying both ovaries are working, with their lovely little dominant follies, so thats something at least... no evidence of PCOS apart from being overweight, out of whack cycles and hairy. And I've been overweight since my mother forced me onto the contraceptive pill at age 15, my periods have been out of whack since I started them at age 11 (they have never, ever been "normal" and as I said, I have hairy genetics for pities sake. Ultrasounds and bloods come back saying no evidence of PCOS.

But gee, if ovulating on CD18 is really bad and having 33 day cycles is bad, then I'm utterly screwed. I'm fairly certain I ovulated on CD45 of this current cycle and am now on CD 59.
I started temping again on the day I -think- I ovulated, day 45... that was the day my boobs started aching anyway, because thats usually the only way I know I HAVE ovulated. Boobies are painy city. I know there is no way to be pregnant, because if I did ovulate on CD45, then sex was 6 days prior, and there is no way a sperm from DP is gunna survive for 6 days. And I honestly don't think I ovulated earlier than that. Its possible, but not probable.... if it did happen, I'm already late for my period. But I'm not holding onto hope for this one.
Just keep checking myself when I go pee and waiting for AF to rear her ugly head. *sigh*

 

[phoenixrose]

So your bloods say that you don't have PCOS, but do they say anything else? Low or high anything? I've noticed other ladies on here that say they don't ovulate until much later in the cycle but their bloods all came back normal. I'm just wondering how that can be possible? I think the medical community needs to get their act together sometimes. Ok, cd3 bloods are fine but if your not O'ing until cd 30, then maybe there needs to be cd10 bloods or something for those women.

Have you considered clomid or other fertility drugs? I'm on round 3. I've head various success stories with it. I'm not sure where you live but a lot of gyno's will give clomid for up to 6 months. They usually start you on 50mg then up it by 50mg each time until it's successful. I think it's if you ovulate within 5-10 after the last pill then it was successful. It's really cheap (about $9 at target and walmart here in the states), especially when it's on unmonitored cycles, which most gyno's do. It's expensive for me cause I'm with a FS and the cycles are monitored with u/s etc that cost me money out of pocket, as my insurance doesn't cover fertility treatments.

I don't know how you relax enough to not keep track of your cycles? I always have to in one way or another. I don't always do them all at the same time, but I either temp or use OPKs. In the past I would temp, and starting at about cd10 I would try to BD every other day until my temp rose for 2 days straight. But now I just use OPKs.

I've heard that even if you O late it's still possible to get pg, but I think that it can just make it harder for various reasons. One of those reasons is what you just said...you didn't time it right, so you may have no chance this cycle.

 

[Moondance]

Well for the first year I did temp, every day, on a set schedule. But by the end of the first year, I decided to go with the "not stressing about it approach", just relaxing and trying to see if just having fun with pretending to not try would work, but now another year in, I'm back to temping and have just started doing it again.
But even during the time I wasn't temping, I was still putting my AF into FF website, so I could monitor the length of my periods.

The blood test I had done was done on cycle day 24.
And if you look on the thread in my sig (I linked to my journal) it tells you my complete blood test results, I typed them all up and put them into my journal.
But no, there was nothing high or low, all in normal ranges. Which I don't understand either. If the ranges are normal, then why isn't the egg coming out in a timely manner, at a set time? The normal range of hormones should be growing the egg at a sufficient rate, and making the sac pop at a given time.... not just whenever the heck it feels like it!
And I don't use OPK's because it doesn't matter where I am in my cycle, they will always give me this ridiculous half positive, half not. Where the line straight down the middle from top to bottom is pale on one side and dark on the other. Complete fail. Not wasting money on those stupid things anymore.

And here in Australia, the only doctor who can prescribe you Clomid is the fertility specialist, and only after they've run the gammet of two million tests. Tests and tests and tests and then maybe Clomid.

My ultrasound showed that I have me some nice dominant follies, bilateral, which is good. Means both my ovaries are producing pretty little eggies.
But.... meh. Dunno whats going on.

The funny thing is, in my journal, I mentioned I started temping on CD45 and said nothing was going on, but now I'm fairly certain CD45 was the day I ovulated.

 

[phoenixrose]

If it wasn't for the meds and doc's orders to use OPKs, I would be trying the relaxed approach too! Before we got in to see the 2nd FS that's what I was doing. I only temp'd about 7 or so days out of the month, around O to confirm O and to make sure temp dropped after AF. I felt better mentally! Now with the SE from clomid and progesterone suppositories and OPKs, etc, I'm about to loose my mind. Ifi get a BFN this month I don't know how I'm going to make it through the next 3 months of injectables before getting a break.

 

[Moondance]

I kind of wish I was at the Clomid stage already, so I'd have more of an idea. I'm sick of the completely erratic cycles I've got.
But they've always been that way, forever and ever.

 

[phoenixrose]

I kind of wish I was at the Clomid stage already, so I'd have more of an idea. I'm sick of the completely erratic cycles I've got.
But they've always been that way, forever and ever.

Are you in the process? You said it took a while, didn't know if you started down that road or not. How's the health system there in Australia? More like the US with insurance, or more like the UK with NHS?

 

[ememcly]

I don't know how you relax enough to not keep track of your cycles?

 

[Moondance]

We're more like the UK.... given we are essentially just a UK cast off. We're considered to be one of the British colonies.
Our health system is pretty good.

And I want to go on Clomid, but from what I've been told, its the gammet of tests first, and they wouldn't even consider the testing stage until I reached 2 years of trying. So have already been referred to the specialist, just waiting to hear back from them with an appointment time.

 

[Moondance]

I don't know how you relax enough to not keep track of your cycles?

is that a question to me or Phoenix? lol

 

[phoenixrose]

Well at least you're getting to start the process now, cause it is a process!

 

[Moondance]

Yeah, a process that doesn't sound like much fun.
AF came today, as foretold by this mornings little temp drop.

Hateful.
But onto a new cycle... and I can't even have sex this cycle, because I've got a raging case of stupid, contagious ringworm and I don't know how I got it, or from where, but its horrific and I'm basically in quarantine with nobody allowed to touch me, or my clothes or my bed or anything I've touched.

 

[phoenixrose]

OMG! That's so horrible! What is the treatment for that? Besides the quarantine? Pills, creams? Don't you ovulate late? It takes that long to get rid of? When it rains, it pours, huh? You poor thing!

No, the process is not that fun. I didn't mind the beginning of it. It becomes really not fun when the process starts to take a long time. If I had a competent doctor the first time then the procesa may have been shorter or at least frustrating. But on the other and it's nice to get answers and possible solutions.

 

[Moondance]

I did ovulate late, yes. Very late. Day 47 by the looks of it.

And I use cream on the ringworm but it can take up to 2 weeks for it to be not visible anymore, and then I still need to use it for another 2 weeks after that to make sure its gone.
*sigh*

And at the moment am feeling extremely depressed.
I'm caring for 2 baby birds that everytime I go near them to feed them, piss me off so badly I wind up wanting to hurt them. Then I wind up in tears because I love animals, and feeling like I want to hurt one is so against everything inside of me that it makes me feel like crap.
Just feel like the world is against me.

My best friend found out a couple weeks ago she's preggers. 6 weeks now.
They're fairly certain they're not keeping it and I'm just gutted. She was on the pill for crying out loud!

 

[phoenixrose]

Well if you ovulate as late as normal then there is still hope. Sorry, trying to see the silver lining.

The stress of things all adding up together can really take a lot out of you! TTC + ringworm + taking care of baby birds + etc, etc, etc!

For me at the moment its: TTC + current debt + more debt from fertility treatments + need to get a second job to make more money + stupid dog my BIL left here with us and in-laws (we live with them) + all these meds and hormones making me feel like a lunatic!!!!

This whole cycle, 3 weeks of it, I've felt completely awful, like mild depression. No energy and wishing I could stay in bed all day. But these past 2 days I've felt a little better and a little more energetic. A friend of mine in here mentioned she started taking a b-complex vitamin (100mg) and her reasons for taking it. Don't quite remember what they were, but I remember thinking, why not. The 100mg was a bit high so I got 50mg, still a lot, but it's water soluble so you just excrete the excess in urine. Anyways, to the point, I started taking the B-complex vitamin on monday and on Tuesday I had more energy and my mood was better. And the same today. I really hope it is the vitamin anyway! I still have the gray rainy cloud in the back of my head, but at least it's not hovering over my head at the moment. Maybe it's worth a shot for you too.