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Now that you mention it my dh can also find the worst times to be funny. Like when I'm trying to be serious! :dohh:
 
Ladies I'm really freaking out, I ordered all the bits for our nursery today and most of it is being delivered tomorrow, I'm now thinking I shouldn't have done it this early and I could be jinxing things seeing as I haven't had a complete anatomy scan yet, do you think I should have waited?
 
thurl30 said:
Ladies I'm really freaking out, I ordered all the bits for our nursery today and most of it is being delivered tomorrow, I'm now thinking I shouldn't have done it this early and I could be jinxing things seeing as I haven't had a complete anatomy scan yet, do you think I should have waited?
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I don't think you should have waited hun! We have lots of nursery things as well and I haven't had a scan either.

My mom started buying stuff when I announced at 3w6d. I announced that early (even on FB) because I am a firm believer in positive thinking.

You owe it to yourself and your baby to enjoy absolutely every single second of your pregnancy and buying things for your baby is so much fun! So why not?? :hugs:
 
thurl30 said:
Ladies I'm really freaking out, I ordered all the bits for our nursery today and most of it is being delivered tomorrow, I'm now thinking I shouldn't have done it this early and I could be jinxing things seeing as I haven't had a complete anatomy scan yet, do you think I should have waited?
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I don't think there is such a thing as jinxing it. :hugs:
 
I haven't had my anatomy scan yet either, and had started buying after 12 weeks x

Aww wunna what a lovely bump!! X
 
Awww lovely bump pic :thumbup:

Thanks ladies, I wish I could just chill and enjoy being pregnant, I'm just constantly so worried, you're right though positive thinking, I'm going to change my mindset :) :thumbup:
 
Thanks ladies.

DH is 43 so I chances are this might be 1st and only child... one never knows though.

Anyway that is why I allowed myself to get ALL IN from the get go because I dont know if I'll get another chance etc.
 
I don't think you'll jinx it Thurl, I'm sure it'll be fine and hopefully having all the nursery stuff will finally let you get properly excited about having a baby instead of worrying about the pregnancy - things are going well so far :hugs:

We've got quite a bit of stuff for baby already, but mostly because we aren't too fussy about needing everything brand new and my dad/step-mum had a baby a couple of years ago and knew we were trying so asked if we wanted them to save a few bits.

They're giving us a Moses basket with stand, which was hardly used because he was a big baby and was in hospital a couple of weeks so by time he came home they only used it a couple of weeks then decided to move him into cot. We also bought them their baby monitor when he was born, so they're giving us that back for our baby lol.

They swapped their travel system for a lighter stroller when he was only a few months old and we were pregnant at the time (later miscarried) so we bought the travel system from them really cheap (like £50) so we'd have been stupid to say no, and that's in the attic at the min. It's got car seat and isofix base too.

We also have another car seat suitable from birth with a sure fix base that's only been used a couple of times - we bought it for when we babysat because my old car didn't have isofix points. We'll use that as a spare or for people looking after baby (grandparents etc).

We've also got the complete tommee tippee feeding set because it was on a really good deal last time I was pregnant and we bought it then as well as a manual breast pump and a few little bits like Moses basket bedding, changing bag, baby bath etc

We aren't buying anything this pregnancy until after my next scan but then we will be starting the nursery :cloud9:

Wish me luck for the anatomy scan please, so nervous! Its tomorrow at 10am, hopefully we will be finding out gender.
 
Oh wow Kit you guys sound sorted to me!

Sorry about your previous loss :hugs:

Good luck for tomorrow, I'm sure it will be great! Excited for you. Please let us know how it went!
 
I really don't know how to say this and feel just terrible for feeling this way but I've felt like this for the past few months and it's really getting to me now.... I don't feel like I'm bonding with this baby as much as I did with my first when I was pregnant with him.... I don't know if it's because I've been so ill and wiped out with the HG this time (which I didn't have last time) or maybe because I'm busy looking after my son to even remember I'm actually pregnant sometimes :dohh: or even that I don't feel to great atm because I'm starting to feel the effects of having my anti ds (which I need to function on s daily basis) being lowered by half because I'm pregnant ... I really don't know what's wrong with me ... :cry:

Honestly I'm worried that what if even when this baby is born I don't bond with him/her as much as I did my first :cry:
I know it's an awful thing to say and I wish I could feel differently , I mean I love this baby with all my heart I have absolutely no doubt about that it's just the fact that I'm not enjoying this pregnancy really so far compared to last time where I just absolutely loved every second (even giving birth was amazing!) and this time has just been the complete opposite not just with symptoms but with other family/personal (so so many) matters that would take too long to get into it all tbh and I'm just freaking out a bit that I might not have the same connection with this baby :cry:

Please don't think badly of me for feeling this way, I feel bad enough as it is myself.. I know I am so so lucky to not just be blessed with one but two beautiful children and I am so so grateful for that! I just needed to vent it out to anyone who wasn't family because I never want them to know I'm feeling this way.. And tbh I just needed to write it out too to just get it out of my head if that makes sense and maybe try make sense of why I'm feeling this way myself...


P.s wunna love your little bump! :flower:
 
Sarah - Guilt is such a viscous cycle. You have nothing to feel guilty about!

It is ok to feel the way you are feeling. You are not a bad person or mother because of these feelings.


Also, these types of feelings are much more common then most think - simply because woman are ashamed to vocalize how they feel.
The fact that you enjoyed every minute of you're last pregnancy is fantastic, but probably the more unusual scenario:).

Give yourself a break. And a hug.
 
Thinking of you nila. Hope you are okay.

Sarah, I'm pretty sure not every pregnancy feels amazing. This is my first and I'm so in love with my little one already but I havent enjoyed being pregnant so far. Nearly every day I'm saying "being pregnant isn't fun...why does it seem lovely in the movies?" Maybe this time it's the same for you. I think what you are feeling is normal. Chin up chuck X
 
Goodluck Kit... Im sure everything will be fine... Can't wait to see your updates. :D
 
Sarah,
I know exactly how u feel, I havent bonded at all with little one. My scans have been horrendous because I've been so worked up and adamant that its going to be bad news I've just ruined it for my self. I'm already dreading my 20 wks scan after giving my self a right telling off after the early gender scan for getting so upset and ruining it for both me and OH. I can't shake this awful feeling of dread and that something is going to happen and it's really prevented me form being bonded or happy or enjoying my pregnancy. Got all our stuff ordered like cots and stuff and all I can think is that I've done it too soon and it's all going to have to go back!
And the guilt is eating away at me, I know I should be over the moon to even be in the position I am but I just can't seem to let go enough to enjoy it.
Having no control over it also causes me issues I think, I struggle a lot with mental health and OCD and that feeling of loss of control has me on the verg of panic attacks constantly. I don't think I'll stop feeling like this till bub arrives but then I've got a whole different kind of stress and issues to contend with. I just keep trying to tell my self that when it's all done and someone passes me her for the first time all the trouble and the issues and the anxiety with just melt away, even if it's just for a brief second.
Sorry for the long post but I just wanted to let u know ur not alone in how u feel, as pp have mentioned it's more common than you think to feel disconnected from the baby. And it's not always an instantaneous bond once it arrives either ( yet another source of panic for me) but at the end of the day baby is part you and part of your partner and nothing will ever change that and if it take 2 seconds, 2 hours or 2 months to bond then that's fine. It will come when it's ready xx
Don't ever be put off expressing how you feel because you don't think people will understand, confidence is the easiest mask to fake and underneath a person can be waging war with them selves over things that may seem silly to other people but atleast here there will always be someone who understands exactly what ur going thru or have enough about them to do what they can to support you x
 
Sarah, I think it's absolutely normal to feel that way and I think it's good that you can talk about how you feel, atleast it helps me when I do. I have days when I feel really in love with the baby and excited and days when I am like blah, I hate this -- I think it's hormonal for me, I am very emotional and can feel sad or angry easily, ever since I got pregnant. I know I love my baby and will do anything to protect him/her but sometimes I feel down. It's also good to know that not everyone gets the falling in love feeling right after giving birth (I dont know how you felt with your first) but sometimes it takes time. :hugs::flower:

Is anyone else taking pregnancy and preparing for baby quite easy? I don't feel worried about giving birth or babys health, am I weird? I just trust that everything will go fine. I haven't read any parenting books or baby care books, I somehow trust it to come naturally and I feel like I'll rather ask my mom or a friend for real advice when the time comes rather than cram through books. I also havent bought much for baby and will get mostly used stuff as a lot of items at this stage will be used for such a short time. I'm just trying to enjoy these last months on my own, before family life begins as I know it will be a looonnggg time before I will be alone again. So I'm not rushing through pregnancy either.
 
Sarah, don't feel like you have to apologise to us for what you are feeling hun! We are here to be a shoulder to cry on and a ear to listen to you :hugs:

I dont think you are any worse of a mom for not feeling the bond now. Every pregnancy is different even in the same women. I am so sure that as soon as that little one is in your arms you'll start bonding (if not sooner).

If it helps any, I always envisioned myself talking to my baby and constantly rubbing my belly etc before I was pregnant. Now I'm pregnant and I'm not talking to my belly or rubbing it. I think the rubbing is because I don't feel baby yet. So even for me it is different and it feels like I'm not bonding they way we had in our visions! But as you said we love our babies very much already and I think there is no bond greater that the fact that you love your baby! :hugs:
 
Thanks for the well wishes everyone :) Our scan went quite well, but baby was being particularly stubborn and awkward!

Baby was in a really awkward position so the ultrasound technician was really struggling to get all the measurements she needed - mainly the spine and the heart/chambers, so she sent me out and asked me to go up and down a few flights of stairs to try and encourage baby to move, which baby did... into a worse position :haha: Baby ended up on it's stomach (spine upwards) with its arms over its chest, hands over its face and legs firmly crossed. So, she did get the spine measurements in the end but no heart measurements or gender and she couldn't check the lip either because the hands were over the face.

She did say the measurements she could take looked ok though, I've got to go for a repeat anatomy scan in 2 weeks - 2nd Feb.
 
Forgive me if I miss someone but I sometimes struggle to keep track of everyone's weekly milestones, so here goes...

Happy 21 weeks Thurl!
Happy 18 weeks Pink!
Happy 19 weeks Smoore!
Happy 19 weeks Sarah!

Oceania, I think I'm similiar to you. I'm not worried about baby's health either. I had 2 scares (sugar and kidney pipe infection) and even while on antibiotics I had faith that all was well. If you are weird then I'll be weird with you :D
 
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