I was terrified of a c section with my son. I have EPP a rare skin and blood disorder that makes me "allergic" to the sun and all UV lights, halogen/fluorescent/etc. So surgery lights are bad for me.
I was forced to have a c section by an idiot old doctor who just wanted to get it over with and go home. I was exhausted, heartbroken, frustrated, laying on that operating room table.
Anesthesiologist does a pin prick to see if I can still feel anything at the site where they were going to cut and the whole time I felt it. I heard him say "We're gonna have to give her local" Next thing I know, the doctor cuts me open and flips me to where I'm leaning to the side and all this blood and water gushes out of me and I was so weak and I felt like my heart was barely beating, but my DH says it was beating super fast.
I passed out shortly after they let me see DS. I couldn't even smile at him.
I told my DH, I'm not doing that again. I'm not going through that BS. With these babies we have a planned VBAC and as long as babies co-operate my doctor is all for it. He doesn't want to do a c ssection so long as I and babies are healthy and happy.
The doctor who did my c section also did it with no operating lights, just the original lights from the room.
I know mine is a horror story of sorts, but, I said all that, to say that really, it's not the worst thing that could happen. Yes, no mama ever wants to have .a c section but .I believe had it been medically necessary, I would have been much more at peace with it.
Unfortunately in my town over 50% of births are c sections and 30-45% of the 50 aren't even necessary, just easier for doctors.
I'm so scared this time of another c section but trying to keep my mind open. I want to give birth. I want to feel like I did it. I want to know what my mom went through.