- 2015 JUNE BUGS - Join Us!

[havingmyfirst]

There is no right or wrong time to tell. With our first we were both in shock... as weren't officially trying so we rang my mum (good old mums) as soon as we saw the BFP.

This time we are going to try and keep it a secret so we can give everyone a happy Christmas surpise in December when we are 13 weeks and have a pic.

 

[NDH]

Questions for you ladies:
Has your eating changed at all?
Are any of you taking fish oil?
Any food aversions?

My eating is so sparse nowadays but I'm just trying to make sure I don't starve and I get proper nutrients for obvious reasons.

Also, I can't stand the smell of rotisserie chicken. I gag thinking about it!

I am pleased to say that my MS has waned in the past few days. I really hated it. I had it for two weeks and I was completely useless. Cramping has taken over, but I'd rather that than MS any day.

I feel tired and I've been working from bed, which I can't decide is good or bad. First appointment is next Wednesday at 8w+4. I have no idea what to expect. I'm going to start working out again after my appointment. Hopefully that will make things feel real.

Can't stop eating. All healthy food at least. But its ok that I can't stop eating because I just started a pregnancy diet that requires you to consume a minimum of 2600 calories and 80-120g of protein (i have some "special needs" that the diet says I need 3000 calories and 120-160g of protein) and my increased appetite means so far it isn't a stretch at all to eat that much

Yes I'm also taking fish oil as I dont get enough DHA in my regular diet.

No aversions yet.

I also developed an aversion to my husband. He just smelled SO BAD. Like, in the car I'd press my nose up against the window to try to get as far away from him as possible. I never told him what was up. One day I realized--it was his DEODORANT! I immediately threw all his sticks of deodorant in the trash. He came in and was like "What are you doing?!?!" and I said "I'm saving our marriage!"

Had my first appointment today and she changed my due date by almost two weeks. I am entirely unsure how that happened because we only dtd a couple times when I thought I was ovulating. She measured me at 6+1 today and we saw a heartbeat, so I am hoping all is well. She is going to see me again in a week and do another ultrasound, which kind of worries me, but I am sure everything will be fine.

My beta was low when we checked it at work last week and I freaked out thinking I would have an empty sac, but my beta was just fine for my new due date. And there is definitely a little baby in there with a little heartbeat flicker! We are thrilled.

Does anyone know why she would want to do another ultrasound next week? I asked her if she was worried and if everything was okay and she said it is just fine. I was just kind of confused as to why she wants to see me again so soon if everything is fine. Oh well.

New due date is June 16. Can we change it on the front page?

I'm certainly no expert, but my assumption would be that with a discrepancy larger than the accepted +/-6 days between your expected date and the scan date she just wants to be thorough and make sure there is sufficient growth between now and then.

I really hate morning sickness...it was almost unbearable today, I didn't think I was going to make it to work! my stomach has a mind of it's own because I feel hungry when I wake up and if I eat I get sick but if I don't eat I get sick.

My boobs are bigger too...I was already big pre-pregnancy (32G) now i'm busting out of the cups and am practically willing them to stop! I don't want to end up a Z!!!!

I have a weird food issue though, I cant taste things anymore. I got garlic buns for dinner and they were bland. my bf said they were great but I couldn't taste it! It's the same with other salty foods too but sweet foods like fruit still taste normal. anyone have this problem?

so far the only smell that drives me insane is when I get even a whiff of truck exhaust. it sucks because I drive for a living...

My first pregnancy I kind of lost the ability to taste spicy food. Normally I can't tolerate even mildly spicy food, but I made a chili early in pregnancy and I thought my chili powder must be old and lost potency because I kept adding so much and could hardly taste any spice. But nope, it was so hit my hubby who loooove spicy food was sweating and could barely finish one bowl, and I ate two helpings





We've always told everyone immediately. Like within days of finding out (not via a big facebook announcement or anything, just telling everyone I have regular contact with and people that are important to me i dont have regular contact with. Like some of you have mentioned, I knew that if anything happened I would want their support. And thats still my mentality, but this time I'm rather enjoying it being a secret just between my husband and I (and hundreds of strangers online, and 4 acquaintances IRL who are in one of the online groups I shared the news in, and my midwife ). Just kind of cherishing this sacred time when there are no outward signs of being pregnant so the only people who know are those who you invite to share the secret

I am starting to itch to tell people though. Will probably wait another week. Actually last night I had the weirdest dream about telling our parents. For some reason I had this big rectangle shield thing that had a really cool painting on it I can't describe, but it was of a baby in utero with a child kissing the belly - kind of a mildly x-ray effect I guess. Well somehow it was obvious that it meant I was was pregnant and I was supposed to hold it in some kind of parade and I knew my parents would see it and know what it meant. And dh and I want to tell his parents first this time, so we knew we would have to make sure they knew before the parade started. We couldn't hail them on Skype, so we went to their house, of course. They only live on the other side of the world and then instead of telling them in person we turned on their computer so that we could Skype them
And then somehow we were surprised that we missed the parade where my parents were supposed to find out. It was truly a bizarre dream

 

[WoWndUp]

Oh I so badly want to tell everyone because it's my first bean that's stuck for longer than 5weeks, but i'm going to wait till my bday (4weeks away) to tell family. until then I have all of you

 

[Nikoru0111]

NDH- dreams can be weird can't they? Yours sounded funny!


Well at first I wanted to wait until next week even to tell parents because I wanted to tell them in person because they are coming to visit me in Japan. I have my birthday this Saturday (so hope the appointment goes well on tomorrow otherwise I'm having a rotten birthday) and then the Saturday after it's our wedding ceremony (we are already legally married). We wanted to tell everyone at the ceremony but things started to go wrong and I really wanted their support. I really can't hide how I feel very well so I need to tell people what's going on.

Oddly some girls I only met in the last 6 months know already and they have been so supportive and there for me. My best friend from home thinks I'm worrying too much and I don't think she gets it so much. Maybe she is just sad because she is trying to conceive and just thinks as soon as she gets the BFP then the stressing will stop...I was trying to tell her it will probably get worse. It's really sad because out of three of us, two seem to have got pregnant by surprise and she is the only one who was actually trying and she hasn't managed to yet. We are praying for her though.

Also I'm not really religious but this experience seems to be bringing it out. I'll try anything to keep my babies.


I'm taking DHA+EPA (vegan kind, be careful of fish oils one can have very high levels of mercury) alongside organic whole food prenatals.

Spicy food is still appealing to me. I seem to have random aversions and seem to be adverse to everything unless I'm really craving it. So far craving seem to include british foods. Been soo long since I had some Heinz baked beans.

Still bleeding this morning unfortunately. So far still brown though. Rather disappointed because I thought I'd venture outside today walking very slowly to meet a friend for some lunch. We had it all planned out and told her I would confirm that we can go ahead if I hadn't started bleeding. Last night I sent her a message saying everything was fine, "see you tomorrow" and within 30 mins the bleeding started

So back to bed rest it's driving me crazy but I want to give the twins the best chance.

 

[Nikoru0111]

Also I forgot to say, my boobs don't seem to have grown...and I'd like them to as well! It's probably Sod's law that ladies that are blessed with big boobs in the first place that would rather they didn't get any bigger end up having them get bigger and those of us who were not so lucky, and want them to grow, don't. I'm a 32B in the UK and 70 C in Japan, that is one upside of being small, at least I can actually buy bras in Japan. Any normal sized Brit would have a very hard time...anyway no growth so far. Is it so much to ask just to go up one cup size? Hmph lol.

 

[smoore]

Nikoru - Please be gentle with your friend who is ttc. I know I've said it a few times, but I lost my son at 30 weeks and then struggled with unexplained infertility for well over a year. During the process, I had to be in a car with a friend who was 30 weeks pregnant and complained and talked about her pregnancy the whole two hour ride. I seriously would have rather stabbed myself in the eye with a fork. It was painful. Not saying you are complaining or overdoing talking about it, but just in case it has been coming up a lot, she may be trying to shut the topic down gently by saying you are worrying too much. Just a thought! *hugs*

 

[Radiance]

I was writing a response but read the original comment and my response was for something completely different. So never mind on that!! Today is Hope's one year angelversary/heavenly birthday and we always do some type of small celebration or remembrance. It always includes a homemade cake or homemade cupcakes by a close friend.. the flavors are based on them. For example, Elijah was our ocean boy, oddly fresh pineapple was the only thing I could eat without getting sick my entire pregnancy and so his cake had a orange color scheme, plumerias and it was a coconut cake with fresh pineapple filling. It's been a pretty good day actually. My friend that lives across the US from me sent me these beautiful flowers and vase. My husband is out getting a "surprise" and I've ate four cupcakes today

And then our newest addition This is the best I got, it was from the ER last week at 7+1.


*Ok so since someone else responded I'll post the comment I made before reading the original comment...

I think it would be best to gently ask her. Obviously everyones' friendships are different, especially person to person. As Smoore mentioned a lot of women feel that way. I struggled with infertility for a bit, it took well over a year to get pregnant with Elijah. I hated hearing about pregnancies when it was to people that didn't want any children, complained 24/7 or couldn't take care of themselves let alone a baby. But I didn't mind (usually) hearing it from those who wanted a baby and were excited.

One of my best friends was pregnant the same time I was with Elijah. We happened to be due a few days apart. We shared everything with one another and then Elijah died. She wouldn't text me, call me, and hid everything regarding pregnancy. I HATED it. It hurt me so bad that she did that. She thought she was helping and I made it clear that it hurt me worse that she was hiding it. Since we were due the same time we imagine our babies being close, we imagined Elijah watching over her daughter and I wanted to know how her baby was doing. In the end it ruined our friendship.

So as I do agree with Smoore, that many ladies do feel that way but there are also many women that feel the opposite besides what I wrote in the earlier part. So depending on how close you guys are, I would simply ask. But I am constantly back and forth. Some days I can't handle it, even now when I am pregnant. It's weird.

 

[mangoberry]

Just to add to what others are saying here - I had some months where everytime I had my period show up, I would cry in the bathroom and days when I saw my friends posting their baby pics on facebook - crying. I know I should have been happy for them, but its quite difficult, that is one of the reason that I am afraid to tell everyone as I don't know who might be going through what in their lives. I remember not so long ago my sister was going to go and meet her friend who just had a baby and I was in my periods then, we both were in the same car so I had no choice but to go with her. I ended up dropping her to see her friend and went for grocery shopping - I could not bear the idea of seeing a little one when I wanted one so badly.

 

[smoore]

Radiance- I agree that it depended on the person. If the person was supportive of me and my struggles it was a ton easier to hand that support back tenfold.

 

[Nikoru0111]

She hasn't been long term TTC. I think she only started in August or earliest July. I think she'll get pregnant soon but maybe just not immediately. I think she just wants it to happen straight away. She has a really stressful job and she doesn't live with her husband yet because she is a new doctor and gets placements all round the country. But in her first month she managed to dtd every single day and still missed it. Anyway, she said she was happy for me, I was a little scared of telling her at the beginning though. Besides she is my best friend and like radiance said I want to share it with her, especially since I'm also going through a tough time, it's my first ever pregnancy, and no one knows, next week I might not be pregnant anymore. Usually I ask her how she is going first when talking to her anyway and she then asks me how am I and the twins so I don't think I'm being insensitive. I think she thinks I'm worrying too much because she is worrying about different things right now and to her they seem more of a worry. It's probably just hard for both of us. She is coming over to Japan next week as well so I'll get to spend some quality time with her which will be nice and I'm sure soon enough she'll be just like us, worrying over every little pain, drop of blood loss of symptom etc.

Maybe because I have never experienced LTTTC but when I thought I was miscarrying I skyped my sister who has a 9 month old and wanted to see him, it somehow made me feel better. Seeing pregnant people set me off when I was waiting to the hospital for news but seeing babies still make me happy. Even if they are someone else's.

Radiance that is one cute little blob you have there I'm glad you have celebrations for your angels. I really can't imagine what I'd do in your shoes but I think you are doing the best thing.

 

[weewdy]

I am planning on waiting to i have my 1st scan (another 5 to 7 weeks yet) before i tell anyone. Feeling scared about telling my family and work even though i know they will be happy, well my family will, work probably wont. I might stretch it out till christmas all depending on how i feel.

With my first i waited till my mums 60th to announce which was beg of nov and i told everyone else at christmas.

 

[Shilo]

I'm really scared. I can't sleep. I almost want to cry. I have no reason to think anything is wrong but all I can do is imagine going to my ultrasound in the morning and being told the baby has died. I hate this feeling. I wish I could look forward to ultrasounds.

 

[Nikoru0111]

I'm really scared. I can't sleep. I almost want to cry. I have no reason to think anything is wrong but all I can do is imagine going to my ultrasound in the morning and being told the baby has died. I hate this feeling. I wish I could look forward to ultrasounds.

Shilo I feel exactly the same. My appointment is tomorrow as well (Friday over here). I felt the same last week too. It's awful. I do have some reasons to think that something might be wrong but in a way that's maybe better, less of a shock? I think to go in there expecting your baby to be healthy and then only to find out the heart has stopped must be the worst feeling ever. I'm trying not to think about my appointment. I think I'm a little but calmer this time though. But I just wanted to say I know exactly how you feel.

*hugs*

Please let us know how your appointment goes tomorrow, I'm sure it will be fine, but if it isn't, we are all there for you, like you all would have been there for me last time and might need to be this time.

Please try to sleep if you can. Just focus on your OH and how much you love them. That's what I do when I feel scared. You are in it together and if the worst happens you'll deal with it together as a team.

 

[Beadette]

I feel exactly the same based on my past experience. I wish scans were the exciting thing they are to most people but I will never not be terrified of having a scan which is a real shame x

 

[smoore]

Nikoru - You obviously know your friend best. I just wanted to give a different perspective. I hope everything goes well at your appointment Friday and will be checking in to see what you found out!

Shilo - I'm sorry that you are having all of this fear. I hope you have a lovely appt. and can set some of that fear aside and enjoy.

Radiance - I forgot to tell you that seemed like a beautiful celebration. On Connor's 1st birthday (I prefer birthday to other terms, but fully support any term anyone wants to use because when you have experienced a loss do what you have to to get through for sure!) Dh and I went out of town and just enjoy being together. I contemplated having a cake with family and such, but we decided for us it was right to just be he and I away. We did have a tiny birthday cake for DH and myself. *huge hugs*

 

[kissesandhugs]

This pregnancy I don't have as much worries as I did with my first. Barely any at all. And like ive said before the lack of worry actuall makes me worried haha. I am looking forward to the ultrasound but I have a part of me that is thinking what if it's a blighted ovum, what if there isn't a heartbeat. So I think even the ones that are excited will always worry too. It's a vicious cycle!!

 

[kissesandhugs]

I'm actually surprised I'm as calm as I am. With my first I was so worried every day I would cry and cry just knowing I was going to miscarry. I didn't but, the worry was crippling.

 

[Shilo]

My only experience with pregnancy has been heartache so it's hard for me to imagine any other outcome or pregnancy resulting in a baby. I can't wrap my mind around that. I'm not sure how to explain it. Two hours to go and I guess I will know either way.

 

[susannah14]

I'm not sure when I'm going to tell. If I decline the NT scan, I won't have a scan until the anatomy one at ~20 weeks. So I don't think I could wait for that.

We live in a small house that we bought when we first got married and didn't have as much money. Well after awhile our salaries doubled and I decided (pre-kids) that instead of buying a bigger house, I wanted to buy a beach condo. I just thought, we can adapt to living in a smaller place, people have too much stuff anyway, and now we have a place at the beach for our whole families to enjoy. It was the best decision I ever made.

But I can just see it now...as soon as we tell my MIL she is going to ask a million questions- "Are you going to sell the condo now? Won't you buy a bigger house, with a yard, and a garage now?" This is the same woman who asked when we were getting rid of our cats when she found out we were having a baby the first time. Uhhhm, never? Why would I get rid of my cats? To this day I have no idea why she thought I needed to get rid of them!

 

[Nikoru0111]

My only experience with pregnancy has been heartache so it's hard for me to imagine any other outcome or pregnancy resulting in a baby. I can't wrap my mind around that. I'm not sure how to explain it. Two hours to go and I guess I will know either way.

Good luck shilo. I know it will be just fine and you'll be so excited to tell us all about how much the baby has grown! Can't wait!