- 2015 JUNE BUGS - Join Us!

[zaycain]

I am so sorry Shilo. Anxiety is crippling, when in reality there is nothing that it will help.

Have you thought about talking to a professional that can help? I've had to talk to a therapist to calm myself down. It used to be so bad that I had to get out of the subway and on to the street to collect myself because I thought I was going to explode. The stress is the last thing you need right now!

 

[kissesandhugs]

My only experience with pregnancy has been heartache so it's hard for me to imagine any other outcome or pregnancy resulting in a baby. I can't wrap my mind around that. I'm not sure how to explain it. Two hours to go and I guess I will know either way.

That's understandable Thinking about you!!

 

[nicoley]

Looking forward to your update Shilo...and yours also nik

 

[Nikoru0111]

I am so sorry Shilo. Anxiety is crippling, when in reality there is nothing that it will help.

Have you thought about talking to a professional that can help? I've had to talk to a therapist to calm myself down. It used to be so bad that I had to get out of the subway and on to the street to collect myself because I thought I was going to explode. The stress is the last thing you need right now!

I think I could do with talking to a therapist right about now too. Except they aren't really so common in Japan. There is a stigma attached to mental health issues in Japan. More so than in US or EU anyway. People are highly stressed (and some even a little crazy) but you just have to keep it quiet over here. It's not relevant to work. That's what they say about everything outside of work as if people don't have personal lives or struggles. *rant over*

Besides English language help would be even harder to come by and probably far more expensive than I could afford.

It's so strange because I never thought I'd have a bad word to say about Japan but I guess when you are going through a difficult time in an unfamiliar country it can really seem ten times worse. I feel like if I had my family around me and could visit often I don't think I would be as stressed but it's just one of those things I guess. If I want to be with my husband and make things work, I have to be here. Japan is also amazing as well. Just sometimes I crave familiar things.

Mine is not until tomorrow in Japan Nicoley. Around 14:30 in Japan. So in around 16.5 hours time...ack I'm scared too.

 

[Shilo]

I've considered it. I had a really hard time with my miscarriage and still have my moments. I considered talking to a professional then because I was pretty convinced I had PTSD or something from my miscarriage but decided to wait it out and see if it got better. I am better than I used to be but this pregnancy anxiety is the worst. I have always been the type to stress and worry and I hate it. I feel a little robbed knowing I will never just get to have a normal pregnancy where I'm relaxed and just like yay I'm gonna have a baby! Instead, it's constant worry and just trying to get by week by week. I can't count on having a baby until it gets here. Idk sorry for being a downer, I'm just stressed and worried. Leaving in one hour.

Thank you all for your support and good thoughts. It does help

 

[Radiance]

Nikoru - You obviously know your friend best. I just wanted to give a different perspective. I hope everything goes well at your appointment Friday and will be checking in to see what you found out!

Shilo - I'm sorry that you are having all of this fear. I hope you have a lovely appt. and can set some of that fear aside and enjoy.

Radiance - I forgot to tell you that seemed like a beautiful celebration. On Connor's 1st birthday (I prefer birthday to other terms, but fully support any term anyone wants to use because when you have experienced a loss do what you have to to get through for sure!) Dh and I went out of town and just enjoy being together. I contemplated having a cake with family and such, but we decided for us it was right to just be he and I away. We did have a tiny birthday cake for DH and myself. *huge hugs*

Thank you We normally say Heavenly Birthday. We went all out on Elijah's birthday but not so much on Hope which made me feel a little guilty... But I've been a little more anxious because I'm pregnant.

 

[Radiance]

I've considered it. I had a really hard time with my miscarriage and still have my moments. I considered talking to a professional then because I was pretty convinced I had PTSD or something from my miscarriage but decided to wait it out and see if it got better. I am better than I used to be but this pregnancy anxiety is the worst. I have always been the type to stress and worry and I hate it. I feel a little robbed knowing I will never just get to have a normal pregnancy where I'm relaxed and just like yay I'm gonna have a baby! Instead, it's constant worry and just trying to get by week by week. I can't count on having a baby until it gets here. Idk sorry for being a downer, I'm just stressed and worried. Leaving in one hour.

Thank you all for your support and good thoughts. It does help

I'll be thinking about you I feel you on that. Pregnancy after loss is never the same... It's awful.

 

[starsunshine]

So I sold my lovely wedding dress! to a gorgeous looking girl all skin and nice! All I could think about was I'm going to look fat on my wedding day. Anyway I guess I need to look forward to buying my new dress in January! Good luck to all those with scans today

 

[Radiance]

So I sold my lovely wedding dress! to a gorgeous looking girl all skin and nice! All I could think about was I'm going to look fat on my wedding day. Anyway I guess I need to look forward to buying my new dress in January! Good luck to all those with scans today

We're having our wedding in May and I'll be 36+1. I'm actually quite excited about it!! Although if it was between now and 30 weeks I would most likely look a little chubby instead of actually pregnant, I tend not to get a proper or noticeable bump until later on.

 

[MissFox]

I hope your appointment goes well today shilo!
I have noticed my anxiety is kicking in. I've been thinking about taking Passion flower extract again this pregnancy.

 

[kissesandhugs]

So much for not being worried. Started cramping and bleeding at work the pain was like the cervix pain we were just discussing but has been constant for 45 mins now..can barely walk without getting that shock of pain. Heading up to the er.

 

[zaycain]

It's so strange because I never thought I'd have a bad word to say about Japan but I guess when you are going through a difficult time in an unfamiliar country it can really seem ten times worse. I feel like if I had my family around me and could visit often I don't think I would be as stressed but it's just one of those things I guess. If I want to be with my husband and make things work, I have to be here. Japan is also amazing as well. Just sometimes I crave familiar things.

I have moved to many different places, Japan, Germany, all over the US and it doesn't matter what country it is, when you're new it's all the same. Stressful and upsetting. Even when I moved back to the states a place that was supposed to be 'home' it was all different and frustrating and took me a few years to feel normal again.

You learn that with all the hardship, you grow a lot and you learn to adapt easily. While a lot of my years were very difficult and constant crying, I wouldn't trade my experience for the world. No text book could have taught me what I now know.

Yes, the Japanese are very good at putting up mental barriers (I have a Japanese mother!). I suggest looking around anyway. There are ex-pats all over the place (as you know) and understand that adapting is difficult. Therapy saved me from a lot of heart ache and I suggest it to anyone who can't shake off any depression or anxiety.

 

[Snufkin]

So much for not being worried. Started cramping and bleeding at work the pain was like the cervix pain we were just discussing but has been constant for 45 mins now..can barely walk without getting that shock of pain. Heading up to the er.

I hope it turns out to be nothing. Thinking of you.

Sorry I've not been posting much, I'm hit hard with nausea and tiredness and while I do manage to catch up a couple of times a day I always seem too tired to reply. I'll try to be better. Anyway, I'm thinking of all of us struggling with any part of this journey, and hope we all get good outcomes. Sticky baby dust to all, as they say!

 

[jaan613]

kissesandhugs - oh dear. sending you lots of positive vibes! hope all will be well honey. *hugs*

shilo - i know exactly how you feel. i am already worried about my upcoming ultrasound next week just because i dont want to go in there to hear sad news. most people look forward to going into their ultrasound but i always have fear in me since ive miscarried. it's hard to enjoy being pregnant when we've had this history. *hugs* all i can say is hope and pray for the best. *hugs*

nikoru - take it easy and hope the bleeding lessens soon. best of luck for your appointment friday.

to everyone else out there, hope everyone's doing well. still no symptoms here on my end! just trying to remain positive and calm, i have no choice but to wait for my ultrasound on the 30th. i know it's still early.

almost hitting midnight here and i'm exhausted, so goodnight

 

[Shilo]

kissesandhugs - I seriously have everything crossed for you. Please let us know how it goes.

Measuring on time with a heart rate of 168. It was wiggling around

 

[jaan613]

YAY Shilo!!!

 

[CrystalJMM]

Yay Shilo! Look at that little baby!!

Everyone who is having bleeding/pain/anxiety today. I hope things get better....this is a stressful time for sure.

 

[kissesandhugs]

Thanks everyone. Just got back in a room, took forever to get ahold of OH but he's here now. I'll update. Shilo I'm so glad to see the ultrasound went great!!

 

[raelynn]

I had my first scan today and everything went well! We saw the sac and the yolk sac and a little flicker of a heartbeat. Everything was measuring exactly right at 6w1d. I'm always nervous it might be ectopic or something so very glad to see everything in the right place with our little blob

 

[coucou11]

Aww Shilo, that is so awesome! That totally made my day

kissesandhugs - good luck! Please let us know that everything is ok!

AFM, my symptoms all but disappeared yesterday and I was trying not to totally freak out. Now the nausea is back this morning. I really just want to get to this appointment on Monday and see something!! It feels like I've been waiting forever. Yesterday I felt better but I'm back to being totally exhausted today ... might try to take a nap later.